29. Ava
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Ava
Thinking too loud
Sleeping with Tanner was as good as sex with Tanner. He was warm and strong, and I felt completely protected and safe.
When I woke up at one point during the night, I was a little confused to sense a man’s presence in bed beside me.
My brain was muddled, but my body and nervous system instantly knew it wasn’t my ex.
Still, I had a moment of panic, thinking it was.
As if the divorce, and the peace I felt from finally getting out of that hellscape, had all been a dream, and this was the reality.
But then Tanner’s hand moved where he had it curled against my hip. I knew it was him. Because the way he touched me was different. It shouldn't have made sense that his touch was already familiar to me, but it was.
Of course, then I started thinking. My thoughts must have been so loud, banging around in my brain, that I woke Tanner up. I felt the rasp of his voice against the back of my neck where he was spooned behind me. I’d fallen into the habit of sleeping on my side, with my bad ankle on top.
“Ava?”
“Yeah?”
“What are you worried about?”
“Oh my God, am I thinking that loud?”
I loved feeling his chuckle rumbling between my shoulder blades.
“I wouldn’t say it’s loud. I can just tell you’re awake, and you seem tense.”
I let out a sigh. “I’m sorry. I don’t sleep that well, and I tend to worry when I wake up in the night.”
“What are you worrying about?” he asked, his tone concerned.
My little hopeful heart cracked wide open.
“Well, actually, I’ve only had one man sleep in a bed with me—my ex.
When I woke up a few minutes ago, I got afraid that my divorce and getting away from him had been a dream.
But then I realized it was you. Then I started worrying about what I’m going to do because I don’t really want to go home, but I’m worried about money because I help my parents, and...
” My words ran out. Because it all sounded ridiculous in the middle of the night.
“I hate nighttime thinking,” Tanner said softly, his hand moving in a slow, soothing pass over the curve of my hip, into the dip of my waist, and back down again. It wasn’t a sexual touch—or I didn’t think it was—but it felt good.
“It is the worst,” I whispered. “Thanks for listening.”
I felt the curve of his smile against my neck, just before he dusted a kiss there. “Of course. Do you think you can fall back asleep?”
“That’s the goal, right?” I quipped.
“I don’t know, is it?” he teased between languid kisses on my neck.
“I like you, Tanner,” I whispered in the darkness.
“I like you too, Ava.”
That was the last thing I remembered before I fell asleep. The soothing rhythm of his palm on my hip rocked me right back to sleep. When I woke the following morning, he was gone. There was a note on the counter.
Ava, I’ll text you later. I have a few errands to run and some work to do. I want to see you again. Soon.
Tanner
His neat and tidy writing kind of surprised me. But then, maybe it shouldn’t have.