Chapter 21
lighter
Saige
Iwake up in a bright, white room with an oxygen mask on my face and an IV in my left arm. I remember the IV; I don't think much time has passed.
"I'm sorry," a woman says from the other side of the curtain. "She's asleep."
"Well, can you wake her up?"
"Her oxygen is still quite low, and we've given her pain medication for the broken ribs. She'll probably be out for a while, and even if she wakes up, she might not have the clarity to answer questions."
A hand pulls at the curtain, and I quickly turn my head, closing my eyes.
"All right," the man says. "I'll be back."
Their footsteps recede, and I wait a few minutes before getting out of bed.
Taking my IV stand with me, I start down the hallway, pulling back curtains as I go, looking for them.
Inside the third room, I find Elias in a hospital gown, his right leg dressed in bandages and left hand cuffed to the bed.
"Elias?"
He doesn't answer, and I climb into the bed beside him, resting my head against his chest and throwing an arm around his waist.
"Saige?"
"Yeah, it's me," I tell him. "I'm so sorry, Elias. I should've believed you."
"It's not your fault," he says, kissing my forehead.
"I don't want you to ever think it's your fault.
To be honest, I started to wonder if I'd lost my mind, too.
When I was in the mountains, I went over every detail, trying to figure out if they were right, but I knew I couldn't do that to you.
And we're fucking alive, Saige. It's finally fucking over. "
"Yeah…it is." I close my eyes, listening to the steady thud of his heartbeat, and Elias takes my hand, lacing his fingers with mine.
"Remember when you told me I didn't get a hero?" I ask.
"Yeah…I do."
"You were wrong. I got three."
I wake later to the sound of a familiar, semi-hysterical voice. "I don't understand how you could lose my—" She pulls the curtain back, her eyes settling on me and Elias together. "Daughter…"
My mom and Alex walk into the room with Nolan behind them.
"Hi, Mom," I say, my throat dry and sore. I look at the nurse. "Can I get some water, please?"
"Sure thing," she says. "I'll let them know you're awake."
"Elias…" Alex crosses the room, hugging him. "You scared the shit out of me. Jesus." He sighs. "I thought I was going to have to bury you. I'm so glad you're okay—I'm glad you both are."
My mom shakes her head. "No. No way. Absolutely not. You need to get away from him."
"No. I'm sorry, Mom. I'm not going to."
"Saige, he's—"
He's my monster. "I know what he is; I just don't care. He saved me, and he's really hurt. So if you're going to be like this, I think you should leave."
"I know how you feel about me, Carrie. And I know you don't like it, either, Dad, but I love Saige—you should know that."
"Carrie…" Alex says, placing his hands on her shoulders. "I know. But they're okay, and we need to focus on that right now. We can all talk about this later."
"What's there to talk about?" Elias asks. "Everyone in this room needed therapy, nobody went, and now this is what we're dealing with. This is just how it is. Neither of you should be surprised, really."
My mom sighs, sinking into a chair. "What about Dax, Saige? Haven't you been living with him for the past week? How does he fit into all of this?"
Instead of answering, I look at Nolan. "How is Dax?"
"He's okay," Nolan says. "He's handcuffed to a bed down the hall; he has some second and third-degree burns around his ankle—nothing like Elias—and his dad is already here with a lawyer. Oh, and they found Isla. She ran to a cabin up the road, like you said."
I exhale relief. "Good."
"Here's your water," the nurse says, handing me a cup. "We really do need to get you back to your room, though, sweetie."
"No. I don't want to. I'll check myself out, then. I don't need to be here anymore; I'm fine."
"Saige—" Elias starts.
"No! I'm not leaving you. Not again."
"Hey, Saige? If the doctors say you need to be here, then you're going to stay," Nolan says.
I know I should listen to him. I know I'm being ridiculous, but if it weren't for me, Elias wouldn't be lying here like this. He needs me.
"It's okay," Elias says. "I'll be fine. I'll see you soon, all right?"
I nod, placing a hand on his cheek. He's been out there for so long, what's normally scruff is now long enough to be considered a beard. "Okay." I lower my voice, swallowing a lump in my throat before whispering, "I love you."
He brings his lips to mine, kissing me slowly, and I can practically feel my mother cringing.
"I love you, too."
Nolan appears at my side, extending a hand. "Come on, baby. I'll help you."
He helps me out of the bed, and then down the hall to my room, holding my water cup in his free hand. My mother follows while Elias's dad stays at his side.
Someone brings in a cot for my mother, and Nolan pulls up a chair next to my bed. They both stay with me through the night, with Nolan leaving a few times to check on Elias and Dax. Sometime after the sun rises, my mom falls asleep, and I finally get to talk to Nolan.
"Are you okay?" I whisper. "You were hurt."
"I took care of it—stitched it up myself, and it doesn't look too bad," he says. "And I'm okay, but I'm mad at Dax. I get why he did it, but…you don't want people you love to have to do things like that for you, you know?"
"Yeah…I do know. I didn't want you to have to do what you did for me, either."
"I love you," he says. "I told you from the beginning that I know I'm not perfect; I know I'm fucked up in ways that can't be fixed, and that can be difficult to deal with.
But anything I can do, I will do for you—for my family.
And I can keep you safe. You don't need to worry about me or what I did.
It's nothing to me. I just wish I would have done it sooner. "
"You're perfect to me."
"Mmm…I don't know about that. But you know who I saw in the hallway about an hour ago?"
"Who?"
"Isla's family. It's all over the news; there are reporters everywhere. She gets to go home with the people who care about her, and that's because of you."
"Not because of me—all I did was get captured. If anything, it's because of you."
"Dax is the one who glued a tracking device inside your boot. I wouldn't have found you otherwise."
I laugh a little, shaking my head. "Yeah, that sounds like him." It would annoy me if it didn't save my fucking life. If I'd worn the wrong shoes, I'd be dead right now. Sighing, I add, "I want to go home with my family, too."
Nolan presses his lips to mine and then rests his head on my pillow, his hair falling in front of his face. I can't look away.
"You want to touch my hair again, don't you?"
I nod.
"Go ahead."
I thread my fingers through his hair, pushing it away from his forehead before kissing it.
No matter what he thinks about how fucked up he is—and even though I've spent the last week unintentionally deregulating his nervous system—everything about him calms me.
His scent, that deep voice I can feel in my chest, the dark eyes I used to think were devoid of emotion but now understand to be vast pools with endless depth.
Nolan is my rock, even when I'm his wrecking ball. And I don't think I'm afraid of water anymore.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asks. "What are you thinking?"
"I'm thinking…that you bring me a lot of peace."
After a nurse comes in to check my vitals again, two officers enter the room, and I give them my account of what happened from the time of my abduction to the fire at the storage space.
I tell them about Isla and how she'd been brainwashed in the months she'd spent there, and it wasn't her fault.
When I ask if she's okay, they tell me that physically, she's fine, but she won't admit Miles is the one who held her there and is adamant that she needs to see the body.
It isn't surprising. I saw her—I saw how she interacted with him, and I saw her fear when he told her he'd kill her sister and her niece. She knew he meant it.
They discharge me later that afternoon. My mom demands I go home with her, but I tell her no—that I want to go with Nolan—and eventually, she relents.
Before we leave, we visit Dax, who's no longer handcuffed to the bed, and instead, sits on top of the blankets in his hospital gown with a bag of food from Tim Horton's between his legs, watching hockey highlights in a room filled with flowers and balloons.
Nolan warned me about the latter. Apparently, Dax has been posting about what happened online and garnered quite a bit of support.
When he sees me, he smiles. "Hey there, princess."
I don't hear it in his voice anymore—the pain, the hopelessness. He's just Dax again. I blink back tears, because I think I actually believe it now. We're fucking alive, and we're all going to be okay.
"No handcuffs?"
"Nope. I'm not supposed to leave town, but the lawyer says they're not going to charge any of us. I mean, how could they? I'm a hero now, obviously. Maybe they'll call me Batman."
"Or maybe they'll call you Robin," Nolan says.
"Fuck that. If anyone calls me fucking Robin, they're next."
"You're my hero. Glad to see you're doing better." I climb into the bed next to him while Nolan takes the chair beside the window.
"Yep," he says. "Just some third-degree burns around my ankle, but they gave me a lot of pain meds—said I probably won't be able to go home for a couple of days, though."
"How'd you get that?" I ask. "All I got was crappy hospital food."
"My parents love me again; it's awesome. Turns out all it took was a little near-death experience. Want some?"
He holds the bag out to me, and I pull out a Timbit. "Thanks."
"Of course, baby. Anything for you. I mean…obviously." He gestures to his leg. "How's Elias?"
"He was still in cuffs this morning," Nolan tells him. "We stopped by his room, but he wasn't there. The nurse said he was having a procedure and wouldn't be back for a while. His dad told me they're working on getting him transferred to a hospital closer to home."
We stay for a couple of hours—until Dax's parents come back—and then look into Elias's room on our way out, just in case, but he still isn't there.
My heart sinks.
I text him before we get into the car, right before texting my mom to let her know we're on our way back to campus.
When we get back to the house, it's a fucking zoo. Reporters line the street, even blocking the driveway. Nolan lays on the horn for a minute straight before they finally move and let us pull in.
And then, once we're inside—the doors locked behind us, the house still and quiet—I finally breathe.
Arcadia runs to me, and I kneel on the floor beside her, petting her while burying my face in her fur. "Hey, puppy. I missed you so much." After a few minutes, I stand, wiping tears from under my eyes. "It's really over," I tell Nolan. "I can feel it. It's lighter in here somehow."
"Yeah, it is," he says, taking my hand. "Come here."
Nolan pulls me into him, wrapping his arms around me while I keep mine against his chest.
It's over.