5. Emily
Emily
T hey won the game. And it’s not like it was the championship game or anything. But winning the first game of the season is a big deal. So I’ve been told.
Sitting with my new friend and my new friend’s family, I don’t feel so alone anymore.
When the game is over, we all wait by the gym for the boys to come out. I’m not nervous or anything. But my body does have a mind of its own.
“Stop fidgeting,” Kamryn scolds.
I stop moving altogether and drop my hands. Looking at her from the corner of my eye. “I didn’t realize I was.”
Kamryn nods her head like she knows. And it’s a little unnerving that she can see right through me.
“What?” I ask, feeling incredibly nervous and unsure.
Kamryn looks over at James’s parents and then pulls me off to the side. “It’s okay, you know?”
“What’s okay?”
“If you like James,” she tells me as if we’re discussing taking over the world.
“I don’t?—”
“Yes you do,” Kamryn cuts me off. “And for what it’s worth, I think he likes you too.”
I perk up at the confession. “How do you know?”
“I’ve known James longer than I’ve known Liam, and I’ve never seen him act like this around any other girl. Trust me, there have not been a lot. There's actually been nobody he’s ever dated. But he’s different around you. I know this is only high school, but I have a hunch that this could be something spectacular between the two of you.”
Kamryn’s words float around in my mind until the boys walk out of the locker room.
My gaze instantly locks in on James. Like it has since the first day of school.
Do I like James? I feel safe around him. I know that when he’s around I never want him or I to have to leave. But, like? Is a crush the same thing as like? If so, then I have THE biggest crush on James. But what do I do? I’ve never even kissed a boy. I mean, it makes sense. I’m only fourteen, well fifteen in February.
But still.
Am I ready to admit that I have a crush on James? I’ll wait for him to say it first. Yeah, I like that.
“You came!” James exclaims when he’s right in front of me.
We do that awkward one-armed hug thing.
“I did. You did great.” I’m assuming that’s the correct thing to say. Judging by his smile, it is.
“Thanks. So are you coming over to my house?” He looks so nervous. Is my nervousness projecting onto him? Or is it the other way around?
“Yes. Only if you want me to though.”
“I do. It’ll be fun.”
After chatting idly at the school, we all pile into the vehicles. Me, riding with James and his family, and Kamryn riding with Liam’s family to James’s house.
I’m now officially nervous. I haven’t spoken a lot with James’s parents. I sat tucked by Kamryn’s side for the entirety of the game so the conversation didn’t go further than the simple greetings. But now they do their best to include me in the conversation once we’re in the car. For the most part, I just observe the easy-going nature between James and his parents. A pang of jealousy rears its head, but I squash it down real quick.
Ten minutes later we’re pulling into the driveway at James’s place. I look next door, as we’re walking inside, at my house noting the dark interior. No life is being lived in the confines of those four walls.
The inside of his parent’s house is homier than I could have ever imagined. It’s a big house, don’t get me wrong. But seeing that it’s warm and cozy and not stuffy like I would’ve expected is comforting. James and Liam get to pouring drinks and getting snacks for us and then the four of us are heading to the movie room.
“So how’d you like the game?” Liam asks once we’re all settled in.
“For my first football game ever, you two didn’t disappoint. Although I had no idea what was going on.”
“You’re a football newbie?” Liam asks in wonder.
I shrug my shoulders in a non-committal response. “It was never something that came up in my family.”
“What do your parents do?” James asks from next to me.
“They’re both high-profile lawyers. They had to fly back to New York to work on a last-minute case.”
“I’m sorry,” James says sincerely.
I hold his gaze for a few seconds before responding. “It’s okay. I’m used to it.”
And that’s the honest-to-God truth. It hurts that that’s the actual truth. But I can’t do much about it.
“So what movie are we watching?” Kamryn asks, breaking up the emotion. I send her a grateful smile for putting us back on track.
By the time the movie ends, Kamryn and Liam are passed out next to one another. I started dozing off too, but I managed to stop myself.
“You wanna watch another movie?” James asks me.
I shake my head. “Dance with me?”
A small smile graces James’s face. After putting on some music, he stands up and offers me his hand. Pulling me into him, we start to sway to the music.
It’s official. I like James. The crush I didn’t think could be a crush? It’s real. I like him, like him. And that’s crazy. I don’t know the first thing about relationships. Do I ride this out and hope this crush will pass or wait for James to make a move? Do we just wait until we’re older?
It’s decided that I’ll wait for James to make a move. But if he takes too long I’m taking this into my own hands.
“Your heart is beating super fast,” I say so low that I’m surprised James even heard me.
I hear him swallow it’s that loud. But I’m trying to play it as cool as I can.
“I’m nervous,” James finally responds.
“Nervous about what?” I ask him and pull back to search his face for something. Anything.
“You. You make me more nervous than I’ve ever been. Emily, I know we don’t know each other that well, but…” He’s stalling.
“But what?” I ask him. The suspense is killing me.
“I like you.”
He said it! And now it’s my turn to be speechless.
James ducks down so he can look into my eyes. “Say something.”
“I like you too,” I can feel my face heating up.
“So where does that leave us?”
And that’s the million-dollar question. Most of the time when a guy says that he likes a girl, he does the complete opposite to woo her, and that in turn woos her. Don’t ask me why or how that works, it just does.
“I think we take it day by day. And if this turns into something more, then we’ll have to go slow because you’d be my first boyfriend. That kind of freaks me out.” I blurt completely nervous.
“Why does it freak you out?”
“Because you turn me into a blubbering mess. And I don’t want to ruin what we have right now. Somehow, I know that this has the potential to be more. I’m doing it again.” I hide my face against his chest.
James’s chuckle vibrates through me and his arm on my back pulls me closer to him. “I don’t mind.”
When the credits end and the screen fades to black, James and I spend the rest of the night dancing in the home theater while Kam and Liam stay passed out in the theater chairs. My heart rate is back to normal speed as my mind processes all that happened.
I’m no longer a loner.