38. Emily
Emily
N ervous? Me? Not at all. I’m lying to myself. I’m totally nervous. I’ve been thumbing through my closet trying to find something to wear to Dylan’s game tomorrow.
Walking back into my room, I pick up my phone and call Sarah. Hopefully, she’s not still working.
“Hi, little bird,” she greets.
“What do you wear to a little kid’s baseball game?”
Sarah laughs into the receiver. “Isn’t this something you ask Kamryn help for?”
“Yes,” I confess. “But you’re the one at all the games for your clients.”
Sarah manages some of the biggest names in sports in the Cincinnati area. She managed to take on Mason as a client right before his injury forced him to retire. With Mason on her roster, she now has basketball, hockey, baseball, and another football player she manages. How she does it I’ll never know.
“Hmm, well since you’ll be outside roasting away, you can’t go wrong with a sundress or shorts and a tank. I take it things are going well with Adam?”
I walk back into my closet and pick out a muted sage green dress, that thankfully has a built-in bra, with a form-fitting bodice and adjustable spaghetti straps. “Things are going really well. I’m almost scared to say it out loud or even introduce you all to him.” I find some sandals in my collection and lay out my outfit on my vanity chair. “He told me he loved me the other night.”
“What?” Sarah’s shock matches mine.
“I know,” I agree.
“And do you? Love him, that is?”
“I do.”
Sarah squeals, a very un-Sarah-like thing to do. “I’m so happy for you.”
“You’re the first to know.”
“What? You haven’t told Kamryn?”
I sit down on my bed and pet Biscuit. “No. Kam would want me to be all open-hearted with her. And even with James, I was never like that. Do you think she’ll be mad at me?”
“I think she’ll be hurt more than mad.”
“Love after loss,” I snort. “I don’t recommend it.”
Sarah snorts into the phone. “Noted. So when are you going to tell her?”
“Soon.” I declare.
When I get off the phone with Sarah, I pick up my phone again multiple times to text Kamryn. I went out with the group back in April and back then, nothing between Adam and I was as deep as it is now. But I know when I do see Kamryn I’ll have to confess everything.
I woke up extra early for someone who doesn’t have a child playing a sport. Why these games start at the asscrack of dawn I’ll never know. I made sure to slather on sunscreen as I wasn’t sure of the shade coverage. I’m a huge fan of summer, but a sunburn is where I draw the line. I nixed the idea of wearing a dress and went with shorts and a tank top that I paired with slip-on tennis shoes. I pulled my hair up in a ponytail and threw a Phillies hat on top.
Me: Pulling into the complex now.
Adam: We’re parked on the far left side of the lot.
I slow roll through the parking lot until I get to where Adam said he’s parked. I find his truck easily and find a spot close by.
Me: I’m nervous. Now what?
Adam: Now we meet at the entrance and I’ll kiss your nerves away.
Blowing out a breath, I take my keys out of the ignition and snag my phone. My car lock beeping twice does little to calm my nerves.
I follow a small crowd of parents and little baseball players up to the entrance. And when I see Adam there in his own baseball hat he causes my heart to stutter. I could blame the sun for my skin feeling on fire as his gaze trails over my body. He’s seen me in far less and never fails to make it feel like the first time.
“Hi, sunshine,” he greets me when I’m close.
“Hi, handsome,” I greet back. “Seeing you in dad mode really is such a turn-on.” I’m wary of tiny ears so I keep what I tell him PG.
“I’m always in dad mode," he tells me as he reaches out for my hand.
His hand is my lifeline where I feel like a fish out of water. My steps are light as I follow him to a field that’s just about ready to play.
“I like you being in dad mode,” I confess when we get to a set of bleachers. Thankfully it has some shade over it so we won’t bake like cookies.
Adam leads the way up the bleachers and settles us in a row in the middle. I look around and see other parents sitting in lawn chairs with some not-so-subtly glancing our way.
“Still nervous?”
My knee bouncing up and down, a nervous habit since childhood, does little to disguise my nerves. “That obvious?”
His hand rests on my knee and rubs soothing circles. “Soon enough the game will start and their attention will be off of you. I promise.” He emphasizes and presses a kiss to my cheek.
My nerves soon subside as the game starts. Not much of a game considering how young the boys are. There is a tee by home plate that is used when the little ones can’t hit the ball that’s tossed to them. I sense Adam tense when Dylan steps up to the plate. His helmet bobbles as his little legs carry him there.
“Eye on the ball, buddy!” Adam yells from our spot on the bleachers.
Yeah. Totally hot.
I sit quietly as the coach pitches the ball to Dylan. He swings and misses on the first pitch.
“It’s okay Dyl. Get it next time,” Adam coaches from here.
Dylan’s head moves in what I’m assuming is a nod. The coach holds the ball up so Dylan can see and then it’s tossed towards home plate. Dylan swings and the bat connects with the ball.
“Go, Dylan! Run, buddy!” Adam chants as I cheer next to him.
He runs as fast as he can to first base, pumping his arms and legs as fast as he can to get there before the ball does.
Seeing Dylan’s smile and Adam’s enthusiasm for this game erases any of the hesitation I had about this sport. Yes, it’s tee ball. But it’s still baseball-adjacent. I watch as Adam high-fives some of the parents sitting around us.
“Emily, this is Sandra. One of the team moms. She’s whose house Dylan runs off to any chance he gets.” Adam introduces us when the game ends. The boys are sitting in the outfield as the coach gives them a speech. They won the game but it wasn’t about who won or lost. As long as the boys had that was all that mattered.
“It’s so nice to meet you,” I tell her and hold my hand out.
She swats my hand away and pulls me into a hug. “None of that. It’s so nice to meet you, sweetheart.”
I return her hug, albeit a little shocked by her outright affection. Mommy issues. It happens. “You, too.”
“So how did you two meet?” Sandra asks us.
“Parent-teacher conference,” Adam says and slings his arm over my shoulder, pulling me into his side.
I squeeze his side. “He’s lying. I came into his bar on the night of the parent-teacher night at school.”
Sandra looks between us with love only a mother can give. “Well, you two are a beautiful couple.”
The compliment makes me feel things, more than the love I have for Adam at knowing that this, meeting his and Dylan’s other world is off to a great start.
“Hey, boys,” Sandra says as she looks behind us.
My body tenses and Adam notices. “You’re fine, baby,” he tells me before letting me go and turning around. “Hey, buddy. Great game.”
I turn around and see Dylan looking at his Dad with a smile and then he turns his eyes on me. “Hey, Dylan. Long time to see.” When I get nervous, I spout things like that.
“Hi, Ms. Emily.”
Phew. That’s easy.
Adam takes his bat bag from him and slides it over his shoulder. “Wanna go get some ice cream? It’s hot out.”
“Yeah,” Dylan responds and then looks at me. “Are you coming?”
I look at Adam and he nods his head. “Sure. I love ice cream.”
And so we walk to our cars like an almost family. Me with my former student and his Dad whom I very much love.
I’ve never been shy with Dylan. But that line was firm with a student-teacher relationship. Now I have to muddle through the girlfriend and boyfriend's son relationship.
“We usually go to the Twisted Cow ,” Adam offers when we get to my car.
“I do too. I’ll meet you two there.”
Adam leans forward and kisses me on the cheek. “Breathe, baby. He won’t bite,” he whispers in my ear.
Nodding my head, I give them a small and awkward wave before hopping into my car and starting it up to cool down.
“When did you start playing?” I ask Dylan.
Now that we’re all seated and I have something to do with my hands, I’m not as nervous. Plus the Twisted Cow has Oreo ice cream and it calms me.
“Daddy, put me in it last year,” he tells me. His face is covered in chocolate ice cream. Adam lets him keep with the mess because cleaning up little boys is futile. “Do you like baseball?”
“I do,” it comes out more like a question. “I haven’t watched a lot of baseball in a while.”
“Why not?”
I scoop some ice cream into my mouth before answering. “Someone very close to me was a big fan of baseball. And it felt wrong to watch it without him.”
Dylan looks at me like that’s crazy. At this age, I still don’t think kids understand loss. Sometimes I still don’t understand it. Losing someone. It’s like saying they’re lost in the store or at an amusement park.
“Does he still watch?”
“I’m sure he still does,” I confirm with a small smile.
Adam frees a knowing smile that soothes my nerves. Not just being with him and Dylan in a casual environment but talking about James.
I pepper Dylan with questions until his eyes begin to droop. Adam and I stand from the table, he picks Dylan and I gather our trash to toss.
Walking to our cars, I stand to the side as he tucks Dylan into his seat. Adam buckles him in and starts up his truck to cool the inside down.
“That wasn’t so bad,” Adam tells me.
“For you,” I confess.
He pulls me into his embrace and my arms wrap around his waist. “We’ll give it time. We still have your summer bucket list to complete.”
“That’s right. Now that Dylan knows, we just have to set some time aside.” I tilt my head up and rest my chin on his chest.
Adam pecks my lips with his, once, twice until he sinks into a kiss. My lips part and our tongues meet as they dance and tangle. My body moves closer to his. He pulls on my ponytail causing a moan to slip free. That’s when I know we need to stop our kiss.
I pull away, breathless and flushed. But not from the summer sun. “Go take him home. I’ll see you later.”
“Spend the night,” Adam blurts out.
“I would love to. But we just told him. How would that look if I was just there?”
“It would look like a relationship.” Adam deadpans.
“Okay, smartass,” I pinch his side again. “In a few days.”
“Deal. I love you.”
The smile that hits my face is uncontrollable. “I love you, too.”
Adam watches as I get in my car. I wave as I drive by and head home light. So light it’s as if I’m floating and nothing can bring me down.
But what I’ve come to learn is that when life is going too good, the other shoe is bound to drop.