Chapter 1
CHAPTER 1
KENDRALL
SEVEN MONTHS LATER…
“ W hy you sitting here looking like you done been fucked over?”
I frowned as I stared up at Uncle Storm. I waved his nosy ass off as Christian and Mya danced. They’d gotten married at the courthouse, but in Aunt Chrissy style, she gave them a huge reception at the family barn. Christian looked so fucking happy. This should be me and Cassie, but she pulled all the way back after we fucked the entire night. Man, I fell in love with her ass that night, and I knew she loved me too.
By the third session, she screamed that shit out, telling me how much she still loved me and how badly I had hurt her. We were fifteen. That was nineteen years ago. She had my ass so fucking soft, I ended up telling her that I would do anything to make her happy and that I was falling for her ass too.
The next day, she woke up like she didn’t know where the fuck she was, panicking. We were still in bed naked, and my dick was hard as shit. I kissed her, giving her my tongue, and her body ended up submitting to me again before I took her back to Beaumont to get her vehicle, but I didn’t see her for nearly a month after that.
She explained that she was drunk and didn’t make a smart decision. She no longer felt like she could hold what he did over his head because she was just as bad as he was. Her thought process was all fucked up. But in true Kenny Henderson fashion, I told her to take the time she needed, and I would always be here for her.
I only heard from her once a week, and I hadn’t seen her since last month. I refused to let her cut me off any longer though. I was gon’ carry my ass to Lamar and confront her. Even if she didn’t give in to the relationship I wanted, she was going to have to compromise somewhere. How dare she turn my ass out and go the other way? I didn’t know what the fuck she was on, but I wasn’t the type of nigga to settle, especially on someone else’s terms.
She didn’t strike me as the type to do so either, but I knew that was exactly what she was doing and had been doing all these years. She was with other people because she couldn’t have me. Now guilt was keeping her from who she really wanted. She’d given that nigga a concussion that night, and it affected his brain in some way. He had to drop out of school and all kinds of shit. Instead of her to put that shit on him, where it belonged, she was harboring the guilt because she’d hit him with a vase.
Fuck that. I would have told his ass that now he would be just as dumb as his dick was. He caused all that, but she was allowing him to manipulate her into thinking it was her fault. I slowly shook my head as I thought about all that shit. I looked up to see Uncle Storm was still standing there, staring at me.
“You know what I think?”
“No, and I don’t give a fuck, but I’m sure you gon’ tell me anyway.”
He frowned hard. “I think some woman done drove a fucking hundred twenty-five horsepower tractor through your nose and got that shit wide open. That was why you had a mental break just now, talking to me like we fucking grew up together. Get yo’ shit in order before you get fucked up.”
With that, he walked off, and I rolled my eyes. I swore that nigga worked my nerves more than anybody I knew. I didn’t know how my dad tolerated his ass sometimes. I wasn’t in a playful mood or in a mood to listen to his fucked-up advice. Standing from my seat, I walked over toward the makeshift bar to get a drink.
Someone was tapping on my shoulder, so I turned around to see my sister. “Hey, Rima. What’s up?”
“Hey. Come dance with me.”
“I really don’t feel like dancing, baby.”
“Please?”
I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath then nodded and followed her to the dance floor. When we found a spot somewhat away from everyone else, she said, “I can tell something is bothering you, but I’m sure everyone can. You aren’t exactly trying to hide it.”
“Yeah, but I don’t feel like talking about it, especially not here. Somebody will overhear me and be all in my shit.”
“Can you come to my house after this then?”
“Yeah.”
Karima lived next door to me, so it wasn’t like it would be out of my way. As we danced, I could see my parents watching us with smiles on their faces. Although we had two younger brothers, the two of us were a lot closer. We were six years apart but had endured the hard times together. Living in San Antonio for a year or so was a dark time in both our lives. We missed our dad like crazy, and our mom was being, for lack of a better word, a bitch about it.
When we finally moved back to Nome, it was because our dad had practically snapped. He had to become someone he never was in order to make her see that he meant business. I didn’t want to have to get to that point with Cassie, but I had a feeling I was gon’ have to. I couldn’t fucking deal with this limited access bullshit. As we danced, my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out to see I had a text. Apparently, I had thought Cassie’s ass up, because it was her.
When I opened it to read what it said, I rolled my eyes. Hey, Kendrall. I hope all is well. I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you.
I walked away from Karima, leaving her dancing by her damn self. When I got outside, I responded to Cassie. Fuck thinking. When am I gon’ see you?
“You leaving?”
I turned around to see Jacob walking toward me. “In a lil bit. I had to come out here to cool off before I end up in jail.”
I looked at my phone and saw that Cassie was at home. She was gonna make me pop up on her ass and beat the fuck out of Mesani’s bitch ass. One time, I saw her and that nigga at Texas Road House, but they didn’t see me. I swore that nigga was Childish Gambino. Like, how you let a muthafucka barely two inches taller than you run your life? She had me so fucking sprung off that shit between her legs I was about to lose my mind.
He didn’t deserve her. I did. She was supposed to be with me, and I felt like I was operating out of desperation. I had that damn song by Vedo on repeat. Like he sang, it hurt me to know that she was still with him. He didn’t know her worth. If he did, he wouldn’t have fucked around on her.
She finally responded. Kendrall, maybe tomorrow.
Naw. I need something concrete. I don’t want to hear maybe.
“Man, what’s up? You red as shit. Somebody fucking with you?”
“Hell yeah. She gon’ find out in a minute when I pop up on her ass.”
“Come back in. Christian was looking for your ass. We don’t need you getting in trouble. We already gotta deal with SS and this pending court case. I’m not tryna see you throw your career away over no bullshit.”
I followed him back inside as she texted back. I’ll go to your house at three. We have a lot to talk about. And I need you to hear me.
We sure in the fuck do. And I need you to hear me too.
I slid my phone back in my pocket as Christian and Mya approached me with their baby girl. Cadence was so damn cute. All these babies around here were fucking with my ego. I should have had a couple by now. I was almost thirty-five, and my only prospect was giving me the runaround. Uncle Marcus and Aunt Syn’s son, Hendrix, was cute as hell too. I went to their house to see him yesterday. Aunt Syn hadn’t been feeling that well, so I knew they wouldn’t be out and about today.
“Hey, KJ!” Mya said.
“What’s up? Congratulations, y’all.”
I slapped Christian’s hand as he stared at me for a second. Karima was right. I wasn’t hiding shit from nobody. “We wanted to ask you about being Cadence’s godfather,” Mya said, breaking me from my thoughts.
“Really? I fully expected you to ask one of your brothers,” I said as I looked over at Christian.
“They got their hands full right now. Yendi and Jakari are trying to get pregnant again and bring another terror into the world.”
I slowly shook my head. “I’d be honored, y’all.”
Mya smiled big and hugged me. When she walked off, Christian shook my hand and asked, “What’s wit’chu?”
“Naw, nothing. It’s your day. We’ll talk another time. I’m really happy for you, man.”
“Mm hmm. I know you are. Cassie belongs to somebody else. You have to accept that and let go.”
I slowly shook my head. “She gon’ come to Nome tomorrow so we can talk.”
“You should have never slept with her. She was drunk and heartbroken. That emotional shit grabbed ahold of you, and now look at’chu.”
I nodded then just walked off. I really didn’t want to talk about that shit. Before I could get to the door, my dad was right behind me. I hadn’t told him about Cassie because I didn’t want him trying to talk me out of it. I could tune Christian out but not him. Plus, he knew Cassie, along with her parents and her twin siblings. He would eventually tell Mr. Price what was going on. I didn’t want that kind of attention.
Once we walked out the door, he asked, “You okay?”
“Naw, but I will be.”
“If you feel like she’s the one, don’t give up. Only a woman can have you like this. I know the look all too well. Loving a woman will have you stepping out of character. I can’t believe half the shit I did when your mom and I were working through our issues. Not to mention years later.”
I knew he was talking about killing that cop. I remember him giving the family a hard time. Plus, Reggie’s name had resurfaced when his cousin or uncle, or whoever that nigga was, was trying to go after Decaurey and Tyeis. Dad had fed that nigga’s remains to the wild hogs then buried his teeth. The only thing hogs didn’t eat was hair and teeth.
I glanced at him, knowing I needed to tell him what had been going on for almost the past year. If anyone could give me good advice, it was him. I knew Karima would give good advice as well but having it from the male perspective was essential for me. I knew he could drive his point home a little better than Rima.
I stopped walking and turned to him. His hair was flying in the breeze, and it caused me to smile. My brother that got killed loved when he let his hair loose. Whenever I saw it flying that way, I thought about Kendrick. He would have been around twenty-two or twenty-three years old by now. My dad smiled, too, and I believed he knew why I was smiling.
“I miss that lil boy something serious,” he said.
I nodded. Kendrick was his angel… the baby that kept him sane until he could get us back to Nome. It was like that was Kendrick’s entire purpose. His mama killed him not long after we got back to Nome. She suffered the same fate through lethal injection. There weren’t but a couple of people I’d wished death on, and she was one of them.
“You remember Cassie?”
“Of course. Price and I talk at least twice a week, especially since he’s been working for the family. Why? You and her link back up?”
I lowered my head for a moment. “About ten months ago, I saw her up close and personal for the first time in like eighteen years. We traded numbers and were keeping up with each other.”
“You fell for her.”
“She fell for me first… when we were teenagers, and I friend zoned her. That was why she stopped coming around. When I saw her, those old feelings surfaced… mine and hers. Well… ummm, Mister Daniels doesn’t know this.”
“I’ll keep it to myself, son.”
I sat on the bed of Jakari’s truck, since he had the gate down, and Dad did the same. He was watching me closely, and I knew he probably already knew what I was about to say, but he remained quiet and patiently waited for me to get it out. Patience was definitely a virtue he possessed. I inherited that from him, but mine was running on fumes right now.
“One day, she got off early, and we met up and went shopping for your birthday gift. We enjoyed each other, but there was a moment where we somewhat got caught up. I stared into her eyes for what had to be an entire two minutes. Had she not snapped out of it and looked away, the people in that store would have gotten an eyeful. Later that night, she called me. I could tell she was drunk. She sounded way more relaxed than normal, and she called me baby. She was way too flirty.”
He nodded. He knew where this was headed, but still, he remained quiet as I continued. “When I got to her, sure enough, she could barely walk straight. When we got in my truck, she told me she walked in on her fiancé fucking another woman. She almost cracked that nigga skull with a vase. We ended up back at my place, and I took advantage of her drunken state.”
Dad took a deep breath. I was pretty sure he wasn’t expecting me to say it like that. “Son, please tell me there’s more.”
“Yes. She wasn’t drunk to the point where she wouldn’t remember anything or to where she was out of it. The next morning, she panicked a little bit, remembering what we’d done, but once I was able to calm her down, we had sex again. She told me she still loved me and how hurt she was all those years ago. I’m in love with her too… practically to the point of insanity. I’ve never felt like this over no one.”
“So, what’s the problem then?”
“She went back to him. She felt guilty. There was no closure between the two of them when she slept with me, so she feels she’s no better than him. Plus, she fucked him up when she hit him, and he had to drop out of school. She’s been distant, and I miss her. I need her. She knows all that. I told her that I would always be here for her, but this shit is hard. How do you watch someone you love be with somebody else, especially when you know they feel the same for you?”
“That’s a hard one. Have y’all talked about this?”
“She’s supposed to be coming over tomorrow so we can talk. I promise, I will pop up at their house if she doesn’t show up.”
“I get it. I really do. But… you can’t make her be with you. You can’t make her love you, Kendrall. It’s not gonna work that way.”
“I wanna shake the fuck out of her. She turned my world upside down. I know it’s partially my fault. I was the aggressor, but I couldn’t have done anything I did if she didn’t allow it. I’ve tried being patient. We slept together seven months ago. How much more patient can I get? I’m running out of patience.”
“Again, I get it. When she gets to your house, express yourself firmly. Let her know what you will and won’t accept. Stand on that shit. If she chooses to leave your life, you’re gonna have to let go and eventually accept that the time isn’t right. You put yourself in this predicament if you took advantage of a situation. She’s not totally at fault if it didn’t go the way you wanted it to.”
“You getting yo’ mind right?”
I rolled my eyes. I swore that nigga was tapdancing on all my fucking nerves. My dad turned around to see Uncle Storm approaching. “Not now, Storm.”
“He tell you how he talked to me earlier?”
“No, but you probably asked for it.”
Uncle Storm frowned, and my dad frowned right back. He would let Uncle Storm talk noise to him all day, but when it came to us, he didn’t play that shit, no matter how grown we were. “That’s okay. I’m gon’ catch his disrespectful ass slipping. Yo’ ass, too, Kendrall Senior. I was tryna help his whipped ass. Like father, like son.”
He walked off, and a slight smirk appeared on my dad’s face. I chuckled. Everyone liked when Uncle Storm got worked up because he couldn’t have his way. Ol’ spoiled ass. Dad looked back at me and asked, “What did you say to him?”
“He’d approached me and asked if I knew what he was thinking. I told him no and that I didn’t give a fuck, but I was sure he would tell me anyway.”
He chuckled. “Always got his nose in somebody’s business. You do need to apologize to his ass though.”
“Yeah, but it ain’t gon’ happen today. Karima was gonna come over to talk, but I think I’m gonna text her and let her know I’ve talked to the original version. She’s just a carbon copy.”
He laughed. “You can tell her that if you want to. She’ll show up at your house and whup yo’ ass. You know baby girl don’t play those kinds of games. Let her talk to you. She may understand what’s going on with Cassie from a female point of view. That may help you with your approach tomorrow. I can’t believe Cassie is still with Mesani after that.”
My eyebrows lifted. “You know him?”
“Yeah. I’ve met him and seen him a few times after that. He seemed cool. A little weird looking, but cool.”
I chuckled. “Well, she must be dickmatized.”
“Naw. If that was the case, she wouldn’t have slept with you. She loves him and truly wants him. I think it’s more than guilt that’s keeping her there.”
I shrugged. “I don’t know, but I guess I’ll find out tomorrow.”
He extended his hand, and I slapped it, then left to wait on Karima to somehow talk me through Cassie’s thought process. Hopefully, she could help me see what I was seemingly missing.