Chapter 6
CHAPTER 6
MEKAYLA
“ S o, you’re like a contractor, right?”
“Yes, sir. Something like that, except I’m still my own boss. I get a 1099 at the beginning of the year.”
“Oh, that’s good, baby girl.”
I smiled at my daddy as I cooked. LaTee was making brownies while I made Tuscan pasta. I invited my mother over for dinner as well. There were some things I needed to get out in the open, and I wanted to include my mama in this moment. This was long overdue, and it was time I completely let go of all the hurt. Having my daddy back in my life, offering his love and support, made that feat so much easier to accomplish.
LaTee was beyond excited to meet him. They’d even had a grandfather-granddaughter date the other day. Despite how well we were getting along and getting to know each other, experiencing happiness in its purest forms, I could tell that he wasn’t feeling too well. He was doing his best to mask it. After stirring the pasta, I sat at the table with him. “Daddy, how are you feeling?”
He didn’t look so good. His skin looked a little clammy, and he seemed a little darker complexioned than last time. Before he could answer my question, the doorbell rang. I knew it was my mama, but I didn’t inform either of them that the other would be here. It may have been a bad idea to surprise them this way, but I would handle it when or if a problem presented itself.
I squeezed his hand as he watched me stand and go to the door. I wasn’t sure what he was about to say, but it didn’t look like it would be good. He looked somewhat nervous. When I got to the door, I glanced through the peephole to see Mercedes standing there. She was fidgeting with her nails, which meant she was nervous. I had only invited her here once, and that was when I had cooked for Keonshay’s birthday a few years ago.
I’d seen her since then, but she hadn’t been to the place I rested my head since then. I opened the door, and she smiled slightly. “Hey, Mercedes. Come on in.”
She smiled bigger and said, “Hey. How are you?”
“I’m okay.”
It had been years since I’d called her mama, so I knew it would catch her by surprise if I ever did. After I closed the door, I grabbed her hand, and she hugged me. I felt her take a deep breath as I released her. She’d changed for the better, and I couldn’t be prouder of the woman she’d become after all the bullshit she engaged in. While her successes would never erase the past, it gave me something to build on.
She’d apologized to me multiple times, cried and prayed with and for me, and did her best to love me to the best of her abilities. I grabbed her hand again and led her to the kitchen where LaTee and Daddy were seated at the table. When he turned to see her, she turned red as a fire truck. His eyes widened, and he said, “Hi, Mercedes.”
“Hi.”
She swallowed hard and glanced at me. It looked like she wanted to take off running in the other direction. Instead, she said, “What’s going on, Mekayla? Why is Stacy here?”
“We’ve reconnected recently. He’s had some things to say to me that made me feel better about our relationship. I thought maybe he could do that for you too.”
She glanced at him as he gave her a slight smile. While he initially seemed surprised by her presence, he seemed calm in this moment. “Mercedes, I know I caused you a lot of hurt. I’m so sorry for not being the man you deserved at the time. I called you out of your name and even put my hands on you… all things I’m so ashamed of now. I was a horrible person, but I’m doing my best to right my wrongs. I just happened to run into baby girl at Fuzzy Taco, and I couldn’t be more grateful for the opportunity God afforded me.”
She swallowed hard again and nodded as he approached her with his arms stretched out in surrender, his palms up. When he got close enough, he gently pulled her into his arms, and she broke. I hadn’t seen her that way since she first talked to me about her abuse after we’d gotten permanently taken away from her.
LaTee walked over to me and asked, “Mama, what’s wrong with Grandma?”
“She hasn’t seen Grandpa in a long time, and they needed to see each other so they could put the past behind them.”
That was all she would get from me. I knew that answer was pretty vague, but my baby didn’t need to know the details. She would have nightmares for years to come. When my mama pulled away from him, she placed her hand on his cheek, and he grabbed it and kissed it. Hmm. That’s interesting. He pulled out her chair at the table, and I went back to the food as LaTee joined them.
A tear slid down my cheek, and I quickly swiped it away. Their reunion was beautiful. I wasn’t sure of all the details of where their relationship went wrong, but I could clearly tell his apology meant a lot to her, just like it had meant a lot to me. She definitely loved him. They were together until I was two, but they had been together for years. Zhori was three years older than me, and he was their firstborn as a couple.
Mama had already had Landon and Keonshay, but Landon was living with his dad, and Keonshay was practically living with her maternal grandmother. She’d told me that tidbit. Her grandmother passed away around the same time Mama and Daddy broke up. That was how she ended up spending more time at home and basically becoming our mother, while Mercedes ran the streets, creating four more children in the process.
I got my emotions together and fixed their plates. After garnishing them with parsley and adding a piece of garlic toast and salad, I brought their plates to the table. I went back to the kitchen and poured them both glasses of tea. I brought it to them, and my daddy said, “This looks really good, Mekayla. I mean… like something I would see on TV.”
I chuckled. “I wanted to be a chef until like my senior year of high school. I got tired of looking at food. I didn’t want anyone telling me what to cook, so I went a different direction when I got to college. I worked with an upcoming chef until I left for Nashville.”
He smiled and so did Mercedes. I went back to the kitchen to get LaTee’s food and drink and made a final trip back for mine. When I sat, my dad stretched out his hands, indicating he wanted to pray. I smiled and grabbed LaTee’s hand and reached across the table to grab Mercedes’s hand.
“Lord, thank You for this wonderful meal my daughter has prepared. We ask You to bless it for the nourishment of our bodies. Thank You for an infinite number of chances to get things right. Thank You for allowing Mekayla and Mercedes to be receptive. The love they have shown me has been overwhelming. Help me to be strong in this moment and help me to express my love for them in a way that leaves no doubt in their minds of what they mean to me. In Your son’s name, amen.”
“Amen,” we repeated simultaneously.
I knew whatever he had to say was going to be heavy. We ate in silence as LaTee looked around the table. “Grandma, how have you been?”
“Good, my baby. How about you?”
“I’ve been okay. I’m glad you’re here.”
She glanced at me then Stacy and said, “Me too.”
“So how have you been, Mercedes? You look great,” my dad said.
She blushed. I found that amusing. She’d become so mild mannered these days. Back when I was a teenager, she would have dropped the pussy on a nigga for a compliment like that. “Thank you. I’ve just been working a lot. What about you?”
“Well, that’s kind of what I want to talk to y’all about, simply because I want y’all to know.”
I nodded and swallowed hard. He looked sick. I played over my food until LaTee took her empty bowl to the sink and rinsed it out. My mama seemed to be picking over her food too. Daddy had cleaned his bowl. “Mekayla, this was delicious. You would have been an amazing chef.”
“Thanks.”
I wasn’t as enthused about dinner anymore. When LaTee asked if she could go to her room, I was beyond relieved, because I didn’t want her to know there was something going on. Even with me sending her out of the room, her nosy ass would have asked questions until I told her something believable… something that made sense in her mind.
My dad cleared his throat and said, “I suppose this is the best time to say something since LaTee went to her room.” He shifted in his seat and continued. “I have pancreatic cancer. It’s progressing quickly. I just wanted to make my rights wrong with the three of you before I couldn’t. I just wish Zhori could have been here.”
Out of nowhere, I responded, “So you needed to clear your conscience. Got it.”
I stood from the table and scratched my food in the trash. His confession was like a gut check. Had he not been sick, he would have never persisted in having a relationship with me. He gave me everything I’d been craving for his own benefit… his peace of mind.
“Mekayla, I did this for all of us. I needed to clear my conscience, but I also knew that y’all needed to know of my remorse and regrets for the things I did. I could see that you were struggling with something that day in the restaurant. Whenever I see you now, it isn’t there. My regrets of not being a good father have haunted me for years. Whether you believe me or not, I love you, baby.”
I wiped my face then turned to him. I glanced at Mama to see she was completely quiet. It was like she was stunned. She wasn’t crying, but I could tell by the emotion in her eyes that what he said had bothered her. I took a deep breath and asked, “How long did they give you?”
“Another month or so. It’s very organized and aggressive. Chemotherapy didn’t work. When I found out I had it, I was already in stage three. I wrote my symptoms off as just a pinched nerve in my back. My back was hurting all the time, and I was losing weight. All those years of smoking and doing whatever I wanted to do in those streets probably caused it all. I just… I want to spend as much time with y’all as possible before my time is up. Please, baby girl.”
I wiped the tears that had fallen. I had finally reconnected with a part of me I craved only for it to be snatched away from me in a month’s time. This was so hard. I didn’t know how I would function knowing that I was about to lose him. Finally, Mama asked, “So who’s helping you through this?”
“Nobody. It’s just been me.”
She nodded. “Let me help you.”
When I saw the tears in his eyes, it caused more to fall from my eyes as well. My mama was going to be his saving grace, and I couldn’t help but respect her even more. With the way he fucked up their relationship, she was willing to forget it all. He grabbed her hand and whispered, “Thank you.”
She nodded, but when I saw the tears fall from her eyes, I knew Mercedes had indeed changed. She wiped them then stared over at me. “Well, did you make dessert?”
I smiled. She knew I did. “Well, of course. I don’t half step. Who I look like? An amateur?”
She laughed and clapped dramatically. “I know that’s right, baby.”
I stood and went to the kitchen to get the turtle cheesecake from the fridge. When I set it on the table, my dad’s eyes widened yet again. “This looks like something out of a magazine, baby.”
I beamed with pride as I went back for plates. When I returned, I cut them each a slice and a slice for myself. I would call LaTee to the kitchen for a slice later. Sitting across from them, I said, “I’m proud of how the two of you have evolved. Despite the things you did and decisions you made years ago, you changed. That’s what’s important.”
My mama nodded. “Had it not been for Keonshay, I don’t know what my neglect would have done to y’all. I will always be indebted to her. I don’t even know how God blessed me with children, let alone one so pure and responsible. From the age of ten, she knew what it meant to be a mother. I was a mother of four, still behaving like a teenager. After Keonshay, I should have matured.”
“Well, Mama, you couldn’t because of what your uncle did. You didn’t know how to heal from that, and you surely shouldn’t have had to deal with it alone at the age of fourteen. Landon shouldn’t even be here.”
My dad looked confused. He didn’t know the truth about what happened to Mercedes, because we didn’t find out until after we’d been taken from her. It was Keonshay that was able to pull it out of her after our grandmother enlightened her.
“Stacy, Landon is the product of a rape. My uncle raped me for years.”
His eyes widened, and he pulled her in his arms. After kissing her forehead, he said, “That explains so much. Damn. So the man that raised him thought he was the father?”
“No. He is the only person that knew, but he said he would take the rap. He was just a kid too, but he had a more stable environment than I did. His parents were pissed, but they helped him raise Landon.”
He nodded then wiped the tear from her cheek. My mama looked back over at me and smiled as she ate a piece of her cheesecake. “This is so good, Mekayla. You did an amazing job.”
“Thanks, Mama.”
She blushed, but she still didn’t say anything about me calling her mama. She’d blushed the first time I said it. I didn’t want to get into everything that happened and why I had refused to call her mama in front of my daddy. She knew why, and that was all that mattered. So I was sure that was why she didn’t bring it up either.
“Despite my neglect, Mekayla, the changes you made in your life and the woman you’ve become are remarkable. Don’t ever let anyone make you think less. The way the Moses family stepped in for y’all was a miracle straight from God.”
I smiled and ate a piece of my cheesecake. I’d originally planned to say everything I overcame and how I forgave them both for everything while they were here together, but I realized it was pointless. They already knew all that shit. They’d already admitted to their bad decisions and mistakes. There was no point in beating a dead horse. God had restored us, and I couldn’t be more grateful. Besides Shay and Jivoni, I was the only one whose father wasn’t in their life.
That had all changed. My daddy was here and better than before. I just hated that my time with him was now limited. I was trying not to think about his diagnosis, but being in the medical field, I knew that pancreatic cancer was the worst. He was strong right now, but I could see that it was eating him from the inside out. I didn’t know how I would handle only having him for a short while, but like he said, I would make the most of it.
Life was short… like a vapor. Maybe I would actually talk to Jacob. He was going through a lot of shit. I knew that much. I should probably show him a little grace and respond to his text messages from earlier with a better attitude. He was trying. I could see that much. Grabbing my phone, I messaged him.