37. Lilah
LILAH
I wake up to the smell of coffee and the feel of warm lips drifting across my shoulder.
A low murmur follows, deep and gravelly. “Morning, lucky charm.”
With a smile, I blink open my eyes and turn toward him just in time for another kiss. This one to the tip of my nose.
“You’re up early,” I murmur, my voice scratchy with sleep.
“I’ve got practice in an hour,” Steele says, already half-dressed in team-issued gear. “I just wanted another look at you before I left.”
I snort. “Pretty sure you saw all of me last night pressed against the window.”
“Exactly.” His grin is playful. “Why do you think I’m leaving in such a good mood?”
I swat at his arm, but he catches my wrist before pressing one last kiss to my lips. It’s slow and sweet enough to make me consider begging him to skip practice altogether.
He pulls back with a low groan, his eyes dark with want. “Don’t look at me like that. I can’t afford another fine.”
The last thing I want is to risk Steele’s career.
“Then go,” I whisper, nudging him toward the door, even though every part of me aches to keep him here. “Before I do something I can’t take back.”
With a smirk, he grabs his keys. “Waffles is in the kitchen, glaring at her bowl. Pretty sure she’s demanding a tuna breakfast.”
I laugh as her faint meow echoes down the hall. “She’s so dramatic. Wonder who she gets that from.”
Steele winks on his way to the door. “Text me if you get bored. Or lonely. Or hungry. Or if you need a refill on that wine you like.”
“I’ll see you when you get back.”
He’s halfway out when he tosses a grin over his shoulder. “Damn right you will.”
The elevator doors close, and just like that, the penthouse is quiet again. It’s me and Waffles. The kitten hops onto the bed and settles beside me for a catnap.
An hour later, I’m dressed and looking through Steele’s upcoming schedule when my phone buzzes with a message from Ashley, my old assistant from the law firm.
Ashley:
Hey! Sorry for the short notice, but we have a box of your stuff here. Any chance you could swing by to pick it up?
My heart flip-flops. I haven’t been back since walking in on Devon and Marissa.
Me:
Yeah, sure. I can come by this morning.
There’s a pause before the typing dots reappear.
Ashley:
It’ll be waiting for you at the front desk.
I stare at the screen for a second as a little sting hits me .
Ouch.
Guess I’m no longer welcome upstairs.
After feeding Waffles a little bit of tuna and then pulling myself together, I grab my keys and head down to the garage. My Audi has been parked here at Steele’s building ever since I left Devon’s apartment, and it’s weird how quickly I’ve started thinking of this place as home.
The drive to my old office is short, but my thoughts are loud.
By the time I park and walk through the front doors, my stomach is churning. It’s strange being back here. Strange knowing this part of my life is officially behind me.
Ashley steps out of the elevator, a small cardboard box cradled in her arms. Her eyes widen when she spots me.
“Lilah,” she says, hurrying over and giving me a slightly awkward one-armed hug. “I’m so sorry about everything. I didn’t know what to say.”
“It’s okay,” I tell her gently. “Really.”
She hands over the box. It’s the last of my things. A few books, some pens, a paperweight shaped like a gavel. The kind of stuff that feels heavier than it should.
“So,” Ashley says, biting her lip. “What firms have you applied to?”
I shift my weight. “Actually… I don’t think I’m going back. Not to law. At least, not right now.”
Her brows rise. “Really?”
“Yeah.” I glance down at the box in my hands. “I think I want to do something different. Something that makes me excited to get out of bed in the morning.”
As the words leave my mouth, I realize just how true they are. And for the first time in a while, they feel right.
Ashley nods. “Good for you. Keep in touch, okay?”
“I will,” I promise.
With nothing more to say, I walk out with my box. My shoulders feel a little lighter than when I arrived. On a whim, I detour a few blocks and pull into a metered space outside a small coffee shop I used to haunt back when I still thought my corner office dreams would make me happy.
The moment I push through the door, I’m hit with the warm scent of espresso and toasted almond. It’s like a hug I didn’t know I needed.
“Hey, stranger.” One of the baristas I used to chat with smiles wide. “Long time no see.”
“Yeah,” I say, smiling back. “Life’s been busy.”
“Want your usual?”
I nod. “That would be amazing, thanks.”
She gestures toward the pastry case. “Croissant?”
I eye the chocolate-filled one like it’s flirting with me. “You twisted my arm. I’ll take one.”
“Coming right up.”
My phone buzzes just as I pull it from my pocket.
Steele:
I’m having withdrawals. Any chance of a repeat performance tonight?
Me:
I don’t know… depends. What’s in it for me?
Steele:
Me. Naked and grateful while worshipping every inch of you.
My lips twitch. I can practically hear his cajoling tone.
Me:
Tempting. But I’m gonna need a better sales pitch.
Steele:
I’ll even feed you after. You like blueberry pancakes, right?
Me:
Are you trying to seduce me with carbs?
Steele:
I’m trying to seduce you, period. Where are you?
Me:
How do you know I’m not at the penthouse?
Steele:
Because I may or may not be tracking your location.
My heart skips a beat at that admittance as I type out a response.
Me:
Umm, excuse me?
Steele:
Relax. It’s purely protective. You’re everything to me, lucky charm.
My fingers hover over the keyboard for a beat too long.
This man.
Me:
Okay.
Steele:
So… you didn’t answer my question. Where are you?
I hesitate for half a second.
Me:
Out getting coffee.
Technically, it’s not a lie.
Steele:
You do know there’s coffee at the penthouse, right? Like, a whole bag of your favorite beans?
Me:
Sometimes a girl needs a change of scenery.
Steele:
You sure it’s not that you’re already missing me?
Me:
Don’t start, Sanderson.
Steele:
Too late. We both know you’re my favorite person to mess with.
Me:
What an honor.
Steele:
You should feel honored. So… are you alone?
Me:
Yes, Dad. Just grabbing a latte. No strange men have abducted me. Yet.
Steele:
Mmm. I don’t know. I might need proof of life. Selfie?
Me:
Hard pass.
Steele:
One little pic. Humor me.
Me:
You’ re ridiculous.
Steele:
Still waiting…
Me:
Not happening.
Steele:
Fine. But if you’re not back in 20 minutes, I’m sending out a search party.
Me:
You’re at practice. Maybe you should focus on that.
Steele:
Doesn’t mean I can’t multitask. Also doesn’t mean I’m not thinking about you with your legs over my shoulders.
My entire body heats as I press my thighs together and shoot him a glare he can’t see.
Me:
Steele.
Steele:
What? You started it with the “what’s in it for me” comment.
Me:
You’re the worst.
Steele:
Liar. I’m the best.
Me:
Keep dreaming.
Steele:
Only about you.
I inhale as my heart rate kicks up. His words are always half a joke, half a dare, but there’s something about them that slides under my skin and stays there.
Steele:
Anyway. Repeat of last night is still on the table. And maybe dinner too.
Me:
Free food?
Steele:
The way to your heart, I know. That’s my girl.
I swallow.
Hard.
His girl.
Is that what I am now?
The barista slides my latte and croissant onto the counter with a smile. “Chocolate’s still warm. Want a bag?”
“That would be great. Thanks.”
“That’ll be thirteen dollars,” she says.
I slip my phone into my purse and start digging for my wallet when a voice cuts through the air, familiar enough to stop me cold.
“I’ve got it.”
My entire body locks up as I lift my head and turn to find Devon behind me.
He looks the same as ever. Polished. Perfect.
Not a hair out of place. What strikes me most is how relaxed he seems. Lighter.
The lines that used to crease his forehead have eased, and there’s a glow to his skin along with a glint in his eyes.
He looks… happy .
And for some reason, that lands like a sucker punch straight to my gut.
I clutch the strap of my bag. “That’s not necessary.”
“Come on, Lilah. Let me buy you a cup of coffee. ”
Before I can argue, he passes a twenty across the counter.
The barista smiles as she rings it up. “You two were always one of my favorite couples. Nice to see you’re still going strong.”
I force a tight smile as Devon mirrors it.
Neither of us correct her.
I take a step back, coffee in hand, hoping to escape the awkwardness. “Well. Thanks again.”
“I assume Ashley reached out to you?”
I nod. “Yes, she did.”
His mouth tightens. “I told her to just mail your stuff. It would’ve been easier.”
Of course he did.
“I didn’t mind,” I say. “It was on my way.”
He studies me for a beat, head tilted like he’s trying to figure me out all over again. “You look good, Lilah.”
I stiffen. “So do you. You look happy.”
He hesitates. And then, with the kind of ease that still manages to sting, he says, “I am.”
The words settle heavy in my heart.
I could walk away right now and let that be the end of this conversation.
But I don’t. If I’m going to fully close this chapter, I need to understand how it ended in the first place.
“Why?”
Devon frowns. “Why what?”
“Why weren’t you content with me?” I step closer, trying to keep my voice steady. “Why did you say you didn’t want kids for five years and now you’re having one with someone else?”
His jaw works as he shoves his hands into the pockets of his slacks. “I don’t know,” he says finally. “Being with you… It always felt like something I should do. Not something I actually wanted to do.”
My stomach twists. “Because of our parents?”
He shrugs. “I’m sure they played a part in it. You know how they were. Always asking when we were getting married and what our future looked like. It felt more like an obligation. One I didn’t know how to get out of.”
My mouth opens and then closes again. It’s like being hit with a truth I wasn’t ready for.
“I wish you would’ve said something,” I murmur. “I never wanted you to feel like that.”
“In hindsight, I should have,” he admits. “I should’ve ended things sooner. I should’ve been honest, but I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“You did hurt me,” I say quietly.
He nods. “I know.”
There’s still one thing I haven’t let go of. One image burned so deeply into my brain it resurfaces every time I think I’m past it.
“When I walked in on you and Marissa…” My voice wavers. “I-I’d never seen you like that before. You looked… I don’t even know. Uninhibited. Alive.”
His cheeks darken as he glances away. “Do we really need to go there?”
“Yes,” I say, firmer now. “I need to understand how you could be one person with me and someone completely different with her.”
Devon’s gaze drifts toward the windows and the busy street beyond it.
“With Marissa… I don’t know. I feel freer.
Like I can just be myself without thinking about what I’m supposed to be.
” He shrugs, as if that explains everything.
“It made me realize we were never right for each other, Lilah. I didn’t understand it at the time, but now I do. ”
“And yet, you stayed, instead of just ending it,” I whisper.
“Yeah, well. I guess I didn’t want to be the bad guy. You were always so put together. Smart. Driven. It felt like you had a five-year plan, and I didn’t want to be the one to derail it.”
The words land like a punch .
They’re not meant to be cruel, but they’re careless enough to leave a bruise.
“So, you thought you’d coast until something better came along?”
Devon winces. “That’s not what I meant.”
But he doesn’t deny it.
And maybe that’s worse.
He glances down at the floor. “Anyway, I’m glad you’re okay. Wherever you go or whatever you do, I’m sure you’ll land on your feet.”
Like I’m a cat who tripped, not a woman who was blindsided and left to rebuild.
I nod tightly. “Take care of yourself.”
He opens his mouth to respond, but I’m already turning away. The door chimes as I step into the crisp October air and exhale slowly.
Whatever Devon was supposed to be in my life, that story is over.
And this time, I’m the one closing the book.