Chapter Twelve
Aurelie shuddered off a wave of nausea as she changed Jackie’s PICC line. There was usually a rule about taking care of family, but Jackie was just removed enough from Aurelie’s inner circle that the hospital didn’t make any noise.
How could they when they were so sorely understaffed? Aurelie was back on regular rotation after a successful interview with the immigration agent, a success she owed to Jace and his elephant-like memory of things he’d noticed about her.
The way she bit the corner of her lip when she was troubled about something, which, judging by the raw patch on the inside of her mouth, was all the time now.
How she put three pumps of chai into her lattes in the morning for an extra boost. He had even described her favorite mug. How had he noticed?
But the one that won the agent over had been his description of being aunt and uncle to Maddie.
It was also the detail that had cracked Aurelie’s heart in two.
She’d fallen so deeply in love with the man that imagining raising their own child was all she could see at the end of the day.
That hadn’t changed, even though the two had gone back to not speaking to one another aside from basic pleasantries.
Not true. He saved your asses.
That was an apt way for her subconscious to say it.
Jace had not only bid on Steve’s auto shop, saving it from predators like Puckman, but he’d recorded a call from Puckman threatening Jace’s life if he dared intervene again.
How he knew to do that—make the recording—was something she’d have to ask him if they ever spoke again.
Looking down at her friend lying on the bed, intubated now that the internal bleeding had rendered her brain dead, Aurelie knew Jackie would never get to meet her daughter and kiss her husband again, and here she was, actively avoiding a man she cared for more than she would admit.
Heat burned the back of her eyes, sending a few rogue tears sliding down her cheeks.
“Hey there, lady. Any day now your daughter is going to join the rest of this crew,” Aurelie said. She talked to Jackie each time she was in the room, convinced the baby could hear it, too. “We’ll never let her want for anything, and we sure won’t ever let her forget you…”
She couldn’t finish her sentence, not without dissolving into a puddle of tears.
Again. She just couldn’t imagine a life without Jackie in it.
Though Jackie was arguably Sophie’s best friend, and Sophie was closer to Paige than anyone else since she was married to Brad, Jackie was still an integral part of the fabric that wove them all together.
The idea that her life—and therefore theirs by proxy—was cut short, was unconscionable.
Aurelie took Jackie’s hands in hers. They were warm, more fragile than last week, all the nutrients going to the fetus now.
Aurelie understood that on a level she hadn’t shared with anyone.
It was the kind of understanding that came with two pink lines on a plastic stick.
That one night—their first night together—had upended everything for her.
Aurelie wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, sweat beads a constant these days. The wave of nausea rolled over and through her, but abated enough that she didn’t retch the contents of her lunch.
Ugh. Who the hell ever did this on purpose?
Yet, even as she thought the words, her hand flew to her stomach, which was still flat and guarding her secret. That wouldn’t last long, though. She was what, three months along?
No, no matter how miserable the pregnancy made her—more so by the day it seemed—she couldn’t help but see it as a gift. As long as you can keep it from him, her subconscious drummed up by way of playing devil’s advocate.
As if she could have forgotten about that little detail for a moment. Another detail she would never forget was how utterly tragic it was that she and Jackie would give birth within months of one another and never get to see the other raise their child.
It wasn’t fair. Especially since she couldn’t shake him no matter how she tried. Her body, heart, mind, and soul wanted him. It was obnoxious.
It was that last part—her connection to Jace that wasn’t fading—that worried her the most. What if he found out about the pregnancy and wanted to stay with her because of the baby?
Sure, it would be honorable, but she’d always wonder if he’d chosen her because he loved her, or because it felt like the right thing to do, much as she would have if she’d continued their romance after their marriage of convenience.
“Marrying Jace was a mistake,” Aurelie whispered to her friend.
She hadn’t meant to say it, but the moment the words escaped her lips, the truth washed over her.
Though she’d have given anything to make it otherwise.
“Not for the reasons you’d think. I’m so glad we did it because it let me stay here with you.
But I fell for him, Jackie. He told me not to, and I did anyway.
He married me to save me, but he can’t. There’s nothing he can do about my annoying feelings, so I need to let him go.
I’ll never be able to offer him enough to even the scales, and I can’t live like that. ”
“Do you believe that?”
Aurelie flipped around. Jace. He’d changed.
Maybe not so much that anyone else would notice, but Aurelie saw the difference in the softening around his eyes, the way his shoulders rolled back with ease.
His smile was loose, the left corner of his mouth turned up higher than the right, giving him a playful, youthful appearance.
He looked good. Too good.
Aurelie cleared her throat, and he finally met her gaze.
“You’re here,” he said, his voice breathy and too damn sexy for her to take seriously.
“I was going to say the same thing to you.”
Jace looked far too handsome to be in the death and destruction wing of the hospital, as Paige and Aurelie called the ICU. He wore a black button-down chambray and Wranglers that hugged hips that had given her more pleasure than she had any right to expect.
The stubble on his chin and jawline looked more than a week old and, of course, made him even more ridiculously handsome.
“So, do you believe it? What you just said?”
“I-I do.”
Jace crossed the room in a single stride, taking her hand in his and giving her the most dangerously thrilling chills.
“Can we talk outside?” She nodded and followed him to a beautiful courtyard where ivy grew over a pergola, acting like a canopy. “You don’t owe me anything except honesty, Aury. Certainly nothing for helping you out. We did the favor for each other, remember?”
She nodded, not sure words would work outside her head. Heck, with Jace this close, looking like sex and smelling like heaven, she wasn’t sure they were working inside her head, either.
“But I agree. I regret marrying you, too.”
Her words came quickly after all. “How so?” And how dare he take this moment of weakness to kick her again?
“I regret marrying you in the way we did. Remember what you said that day we first talked about this? You’d want to date, then get engaged, then plan a wedding—”
“Then marry and go on a honeymoon. I can’t believe I forgot that one the first time. Yes, I remember. What about it?”
He pulled her into him. It was like coming home.
“I want to do all of that with you, Aurelie, and I think based on what you just said, you might be game for it, too?”
“It’s not that simple, Jace. I…” How could she end that sentence? I’m having your baby and don’t want a half-relationship with you as you muddle through your feelings about pregnancy? This was the literal worst.
Her hand rested on her belly briefly enough that his gaze dipped to the gesture.
“You’re—”
She nodded. “Pregnant. Yes. See? We can’t date and get to know one another because we did this whole thing backward, and now it’s all messed up. You don’t want a relationship or kids, and this is very much—”
He squeezed her against him; she could feel his heart beating against her cheek.
“Shhhh. I’m here. And this isn’t the bad thing you think it is. Breathe with me, and then we’ll talk. How are you, Aurelie? I’ve missed the shit out of you. Let’s start there.”
“Jace.” He always knew just what to say.
The relief of being held by the man she’d tried to forget—and couldn’t—turned to heat.
Desire, love, and passion wrapped up in one intense longing she’d never known was possible.
The safety of that allowed her grief to surface.
She sobbed into his chest. “She’s gone.”
“I know. I’m so sorry.”
She scrunched her nose. “Is that why you’re here?”
“Partly, yes. And partly because I’ve spent too much time not by my wife’s side. I miss her.”
She collapsed into his arms. It was wonderful to have him there, in this moment of loss, but it didn’t fix anything. He still was who he was and wanted what he wanted.
“You don’t have to do this anymore,” she said.
“I’m safe now.” She put a hand on her belly.
“We all are. Puckman is put away for life, thanks to you—which you have to tell me more about—and my paperwork came through. I’ll be here legally again and can apply for citizenship, thanks to you.
” The reality of it still hadn’t truly sunk in.
Her shoulders still carried the weight of years of looking over them for the other shoe to drop.
Her heart still beat erratically, a warning bell of sorts. Would it ever calm?
“I know that, too,” Jace said. “But I’m not going anywhere.
Not because you have a piece of paper keeping you here or hearing about the baby, which is the best news ever, by the way.
” His hand rested on her abdomen, and damn if a smile didn’t blossom on his beautiful cheeks.
“I’m here because I want you. Us. All of us. ”
“What do you mean?” she asked. He smiled, and her heart did it. It actually calmed down. She shouldn’t get used to that, though. He’d been clear about what he wanted, and he’d kept his distance the past couple months.
“I mean you can push all you want, Aury.” He pulled back but kept his hands on her waist. Every ounce of her body’s awareness flooded to those touchpoints. “But I’m not going anywhere. Part of me marrying you to save you from your dad was over-the-top white-knighting.”
He squeezed her tighter to his chest.
“But it came from an authentic place. With real feelings. I just don’t think I knew it at the time.”
“You don’t want a relationship, though, and this will be one; I have a baby to raise.”
He cupped her chin in his hands. Gazing up at Jace, into his sea-green eyes, undid something inside her.
“We have a baby to raise. Even without that, I love you and would want to try for one—or four—anyway.” He kissed her, then. Soft at first, then with an urgency she matched. She opened her mouth to him until the words he’d said resonated.
“Wait. You really do love me?”
Jace laughed, and the remnants of her worries fluttered away on the sound. Even though the wind bit at her neck and cheeks, she was warmed by Jace’s presence.
“Yeah, I thought that was pretty obvious.”
“When?” she asked.
“I don’t know. Somewhere along the way, I fell in love with you.
If I was pressed to answer, I’d say it was watching your dedication to your friends, or when you dropped everything to watch Maddie.
I could pin it on seeing you at work with patients, or being present with every person you talk to.
And let’s not forget how you gave up your sanctuary to keep me comfortable. Which I think means you love me, too.”
Her cheeks flashed with heat. She bit her bottom lip.
“And then there are little moments like this. Where you make that gesture, or when your eyes flash with passion, or your breathy sounds when I kiss you. Aury, the fact of the matter is, there really isn’t one moment, nor was there a time I can look back on where I didn’t love you for all of who you are.
The thing that amazes me is that each new thing I learn is one more thing to love about you.
And I know that’s not going to stop, even if you tell me to shove off and leave you alone.
Again, since you’ve done that once. You should know that only made me love you more, though. ”
Aurelie laughed through tears that barely fell before Jace wiped them with the pad of his thumb.
“You’re right.”
Jace laughed again. “I want that in writing,” he said. His eyes shone, and she tucked the moment away for later, when she might need it on a dark night. “But right about what, specifically? That I love you?”
“That I love you. You’re arrogant, far too good-looking for your own good, and really, the fact that you’re a decent rancher after five minutes should make me hate you, but—”
He kissed her, stopping her speech. She didn’t mind one bit. Except…
She broke away from the kiss.
“But, I love everything about you, too, Jace. No teasing, just…love. You took care of me, of my friends, and I’ll never forget that.”
“I’d do it again, you know.”
“I do.”
Jace smiled then. Before she understood what was happening, he was on one knee in front of her.
“I’m hoping you’ll say those two words again, this time in front of all our friends and family.”
“What two words?” she asked. Her hands trembled as he took them in his.
“I do. Aurelie, will you marry me? For real this time, and for no other reason than you want me to annoy you with my arrogance and kiss you senseless every day for the rest of our lives. To raise our daughter—I’m assuming”—he chuckled, “and have a few more kids with you.”
Aurelie smiled, the tears that fell those of pure joy.
“I will,” she said.
“Okay, I’ll take those two words for now. But I can’t wait to make you mine again, Aury.”
“Every day, Mr. Michaels. I’ll be yours every day for the rest of our lives.”
His kiss was as passionate as it was filled with promise.
“I’m counting on it, Mrs. Michaels.”
With those words, Aurelie felt her body relax, her mind calm. She would be okay. They all would. Steve’s grief crossed her mind briefly, but even he had something to live for: a beautiful baby girl, Jaqueline.
And Aurelie would be able to see them all heal, alongside her husband and growing family. Life was hard, but it was also so beautiful. For that, and so many things, she was happy. Happy and in love. What could be better than that?
The End