Chapter 44
FORTY-FOUR
Apologize - grandson
“Get that pretty ass up.”
Fuck. The light is stabbing my eyes like tiny needles dipped in hot sauce. I groan and roll over.
“You’ve been in bed for, like, eighteen hours.”
I just pull the covers over my head.
Logan fucked me yesterday. Logan fucked me .
And I fucking liked it.
I think I may have to just let this bed eat me. If I lay here and rot, maybe I’ll become one with the sheets. The nice sheets. Easily a 1000-thread count. Because of course Logan’s bougie ass has nice sheets.
Nice sheets that still smell like sex.
Fuck .
“Time to get up, princess. I won’t ask again.”
He’s so annoying.
‘He’s sexy when he’s annoying.’
I peek my eyes open. And sure enough, Buff somehow made it into bed with me. Which had to have been Logan’s doing because I sure as fuck didn’t bring his nosey ass here.
“Go away.” I’m not sure who I’m saying it to—Buff or Logan. Definitely both. It’s time for both of them to leave me. I feel the sheets and I could have a good relationship. One where I sit here, and they accept me for who I am. A healthier relationship than I’ve ever had.
Suddenly, the sheets are ripped from me.
“Hey!”
Logan is staring down at me, smirking. “Damn. Maybe I need to postpone our plans.”
I realize too late that I’m still naked.
“Fuck! Don’t look.” I roll and curl, trying to cover my dick.
Logan just laughs, holding the sheets I’ve determined are my new girlfriend’s hostage. “Well, get up.”
“You bossy fuck.” But I have no choice. It’s lay here and get eye fucked or go find some clothes. Which I do, only to have Logan make me walk around him to get to the closet. I know exactly where all his clothes are. Which is stupid. How the fuck do I know where this…killer, rival, fuckbuddy??... keeps his socks?
When I turn back around, Logan is still openly ogling me.
“My eyes are up here,” I snarl.
“So much hostility.” He tosses the blankets on the bed.
“Hostility?” I stare at him. “Why the fuck do you talk like a dictionary?”
He just grins at me. “Shoes, too.”
Now I definitely don’t want to put them on.
“We’re off to do some blackmailing.” Logan throws me a wink and leaves the room.
Okay, fuck. Kinda want to put my shoes on now. I do so, grumbling.
‘Don’t leave me!’ Buff cries from the bed.
Jesus, he has a lot to say today. Grabbing him up, I stumble to the kitchen, feeling like I got crushed underneath a swimming pool. If I don’t eat something, I might actually die.
Logan’s messing on his tablet again. I’m assuming we’re going after Dakota. I’m not sure why Logan’s so obsessed with this. I’ve been facing the prospect of prison and death for months. Not sure why Logan hasn’t realized he’s been in the same boat. Murder will catch up to you. I mean, unless you’re super lucky.
Maybe I should start a list of things I want to do. First thing on there: be lucky.
I snort. Yeah, right. I’m not even going to hope for that. Hope always gets dashed. Every time.
I don’t want to eat since Logan wants me to, but after…fucking…I’m starving. I wolf the food down and pretend I don’t notice Logan’s smirk. After I’ve eaten, Logan shoves the tablet in front of me and takes Buffalo.
“Why are you so grumpy?”
I stare at him like he’s stupid. Is this man really asking me that after we fucked around? After I let the guy who kidnapped me fuck me?
Well fuck. I might really be gay.
Logan’s watching me closely. “Are you mad about last night?”
I scoff. Am I? Yes? Also, confused? “Yeah.” But not for the reasons he thinks.
Logan’s face shutters, and he scowls. He looks away, tapping his finger on the counter. The silence is tense and awkward. Then, Logan sucks in a deep breath.
Logan glares at me, measuring me up. Then, his gaze softens slightly. “You know, it’s okay to like men.”
Defensive energy rolls up inside me, but Logan raises his hand to cut me off. “What we did doesn’t make you dirty or wrong, and if that’s what you were going to say, I’ll beat your ass right here.”
I snap my mouth shut. That’s not what I was going to say. I actually don’t know what I was going to say. That I let my kidnapper take my ass, and I fucking liked it?
Logan picks at his fingernail. “It’s okay to be unsure if you liked it, but it’s not okay to judge yourself because others say you should.”
There’s a long silence, and then Logan looks up at me with a mixture of intensity and hurt.
And fuck. I’m going soft because I don’t like that look on his face.
Logan’s waiting for some kind of response, so I just cough, “Okay.”
“Okay?” He watches me with those fucking knowing eyes.
I don’t know what else to say. Okay I’m listening? To my kidnapper? Sorry, the hot kidnapper who I want to fuck over and over and over again? I want everything about his strong, sexy body to hold me down and fuck me until I’m forced to come over and over again.
Logan pushes the tablet my way. “Dakota.”
I hope Logan doesn’t see the blush on my face. But he’s offering me information. He doesn’t normally do that. I look at the tablet. There’s a picture of Dakota in his uniform, and I can’t help but stare at him for a second. He’s…fucking stunning. His features are just so pretty. I’m not sure how he made it through the police academy looking like that. Instructors and students probably tried to eat him alive. In multiple ways.
Okay, well, maybe I’m gay for more than just Logan. Fuck me, I’m fucked.
I check through the information there. Says he graduated high school, went to college for criminal justice, and then went to the police academy. Blah, blah, blah. He looks…pretty boring, if I’m being totally honest.
“What?” I slide the tablet back to Logan.
“His dad.” Logan slides it back to me.
I huff. I don’t care for my own parents; why in the hell would I want to read about other people’s?
But I do. Looks like Dakota’s dad, Matt Stewart, was a cop too. Retired quite a few years ago. Oh, wait. I look closer. There’s a police report attached.
I read it, immediately finding a rape report against Dakota’s dad.
By Dakota.
Oh fuck. Suddenly, I’m a cop again, looking at the familiar paperwork. Silent Hollow files things the exact same way we did. I scan, not wanting to read it but feeling sick if I don’t. The offense happened when Dakota was a child. Statutory rape. Dakota did an interview and everything.
My fingers inch towards Buffalo, who’s sitting on the counter next to the bowl of rings.
I keep reading the file, a sinking feeling in my stomach. Sure enough, the charges swept under the rug. Matt was never prosecuted.
I lift my eyes to Logan. He winces. The kitchen is silent except for the hum of the fridge.
“Dakota’s dad is in Apex. That’s why it never went to prosecution,” Logan says.
I run my hand through my hair. All the good feelings I felt before are gone. Because it’s happening again. It always happens. There’s never any justice.
“Ronan.” A warm hand drops down on mine. I blink, realizing that I’ve grabbed Buffalo, and now Logan is grabbing my hand.
I drop the stuffed animal and shake Logan off, face red.
Logan just gives me a knowing look. A look that I don’t like. It feels like he can read my mind.
“So what…we’re just gonna blackmail the victim?” The question comes out gruff. “The victim who very well may be Apex as well?”
Logan gives me a cautious look. “Dakota could get you thrown in prison. Me too.”
“For what? He didn’t see me kill him.” My voice is louder than I intended.
“Well…we did walk out with his body.”
“Body snatching is not a crime!” Okay, it most definitely is . I just don’t want it to be. And I’m not thinking straight. Because I’m totally gay, and it’s happening again. I think I’m changing in fundamental ways, but the world isn’t. Not even a cop can get justice.
“Ronan.” Logan shakes his head. “It sucks, but this is life.”
This is life? I feel a disbelieving snarl bubble in my chest. Is that the same thing that everyone said while looking the other way? The same thing people say before they let Apex bulldoze their cases?
No. This isn’t just life. This is hell.
And there is no justice in hell.