Chapter 14
Tally had beenquiet for the rest of the ride home last night, but she hadn’t seemed uncomfortable. More like she was deep in thought, either about the topic of conversation, or the double beef burger that she’d ordered.
I hadn’t imagined the tension between us as we walked Tally to her door, but we’d said a friendly goodnight and walked next door. However, as soon as we made it through the front door, I’d turned to Jesse.
“You’re interested in Tally.” It was a statement, not a question. I wasn’t oblivious; I could see how much he liked her, just from the way he watched her. Jesse and I had a long friendship, and some things you just knew. For instance, I knew he wanted her. I also knew that he loved me and wouldn’t make a move on her, because he believed in the friendship code, despite the fact I had no claim whatsoever on Tally. She was her own free woman, and if she chose Jesse, I’d be happy for them. But he’d never pursue her, knowing that I already had feelings for her.
So I hadn’t been surprised by his hesitant, “Yes.”
Last night had been eye-opening in more ways than one. I hadn’t known that group relationships like that were even an option. I’d spent so many years thinking that relationships could only look the way my parents’ did. My mom and dad had met at work when they were in their twenties, fallen in love, gotten married. They’d bought a house, and my older sister was born the same year.
They were the perfect representation of a nuclear marriage, and even to this day, they loved the hell out of each other. They’d been the ideal I’d looked up to as I grew up. Their love was one I aspired to for myself. But they’d been firmly working class, which meant life hadn’t always been easy, even though I hadn’t realized that fact until I was older.
When my youngest sister had gotten sick when I was eight, my mom had moved to the city with her to get medical care, leaving my dad to take care of me and my older sisters. However, he’d had to work a full-time job to pay for the medical expenses. Those years had been tough—not just for him, but for my mom in the city with my sister and zero emotional support. No one to lean on. No one to give her a break. That year had aged them both.
What would it have been like for them to have had a third adult in the family? Someone to help my dad out so he didn’t have to do it all, or someone to swap out with Mom so she could have a break.
Hell, not just in times of crisis. If there’d been two incomes in the house, my dad wouldn’t have had to work overtime to make ends meet. Would we have been closer if I’d been able to see him more often? If he’d had time to interact with us and not be bone-tired?
All those questions had been running around in my head as I said, “She’s having a baby. She’s a package deal.”
Jesse had just shrugged. “I know, man. She’s been talking baby names with me. She’s letting me feel it kick. I can’t explain it, but there’s just this excitement in my chest. Like, this anticipation that’s buzzing around my body to meet this little human we talk about daily. But on top of that, there’s this fear. That something will happen to Tally, or to the baby. I’m so twisted up, but something I know for sure is that there’s no other girl quite like her, and if I didn’t take my chance because I was scared, I’d regret it.”
He was so fucking right. She was a once-in-a-lifetime kind of girl. Brave and sweet, and so fucking talented, it was awe-inspiring to watch.
“I’d like to pursue something with her too. And if you meant what you said in the car, I don’t see why we can’t both pursue her. Together.”
We had come to some kind of gentlemen’s agreement, and now it was all I could think about as I went through schematics for the car at work today.
The difference between a Formula One car and an IndyCar was the fact that the car was standardized between teams. In IndyCar, you could only use approved bodies, engines, and parts on most things, but that didn’t mean we didn’t have room to wiggle.
VANT Racing had been set up with bigger things in mind, namely Formula Racing. So we could machine our own dampers and bearings on premises. There was no end to the small tweaks we could make to ensure these cars had the best build money and technology could buy. I didn’t have three mechanical engineering degrees, but what I did have was a lot of hands-on experience building machines.
No matter how exciting this was, I couldn’t stop thinking about Tally and Jesse. Would he bring it up to her while they were working today? Would she say yes? Was I imagining her interest?
I managed to make it through the rest of the day without losing my mind, though at the end of the day, I caved and texted Jesse.
H: We should talk to her tonight.
J: You have absolutely no chill, man.
H: I’ve been waiting for this moment for nearly a year. I’ve been patient.
J: All right. She said she’s been craving zucchini noodles, so I’ll find a place and order in. Bring your A-game.
Decision made, I decided to pull into a strip mall on the way home. It had a florist, and flowers could only make things better, right?
The mall was bustling at four in the afternoon, and I noticed a baby store halfway up the collection of storefronts. Before I knew it, I was stepping into the giant building. It was a kaleidoscope of pastels, and there was so much stuff. Surely babies didn’t need all these things.
I drifted toward the toys, and there were aisles and aisles of things. My eye snagged on a little red knitted race car in a bin filled with bunnies and bears. As I picked it up, it rattled softly, and I smiled. Could I be someone’s dad?
Immediately, I knew the answer was yes. My dad mightn’t have been around a lot when I was growing up, but he’d been a wonderful role model. He was always tired, but there was never any doubt in my mind that he loved me and my sisters with everything in him.
I wanted that. Tucking the toy under my arm, I took it as a sign that I was doing the right thing. After paying for it—and avoiding the gently interested questions of the girl at the register—I went and picked out a bunch of flowers from the florist as well.
Driving home, my palms started to sweat. I was nervous. Maybe more nervous than I’d ever been. I was out of my element, and it was equal parts exciting and terrifying. I didn’t have any doubts about Jesse, though. I’d meant what I said to Tally the other day; I trusted no one more than I trusted Jesse. He was the best man I knew.
His truck was in the driveway next door, but the place appeared to be locked up tight. You only got your lumber stolen once before you learned to keep that shit stored away.
I climbed from the car, grabbing the flowers and the toy. Fuck. Was this weird? Maybe flowers were weird. I mean, as far as she knew, we were just friends right now. I dropped the flowers on the porch swing. Maybe I could come back out for them if the conversation went well.
Pushing open the door, I yelled, “Honey, I’m home!” Then cringed. Man, how I’d ever gotten laid in my entire fucking life was a miracle.
Jesse poked his head around the wall separating the kitchen from the living room. He raised an eyebrow in an expression that clearly said what the actual fuck?
Tally laughed, and I shifted my focus to her. The golden-brown of her hair poked out in fizzy little curls from the bun on top of her head. She had a dirt smudge on her cheek, and she looked tired. But that soft little smile hit me right in the chest.
I held out the toy to her. She reached out to take it, her tongue dipping out to wet her lips. “For the baby,” I said. Obviously. I could hear Jesse snort a laugh in the kitchen, and I glared over my shoulder in his direction.
Tally shook the soft toy with a smile. “Thank you. It’s perfect.”
Jesse appeared in the doorway. “Dinner’s warming in the oven. Creamy lemon-zucchini noodle bake.”
Her face lit up. “I’ve been craving that all day.”
I looked at Jesse, and he gave a barely perceptible nod. Sitting at the coffee table across from her, I physically held myself back from reaching out to grip her hands. I didn’t want her to feel pressured in any way. “Tally, Jesse and I were wondering… uh, do you remember what we were talking about yesterday?”
“Shifting aerodynamics in NASCAR?”
“No, after that.”
“Whether a snake that had just eaten a golden poison frog before it bit you was venomous or poisonous?”
“Uh, no.”
“When we were talking about the idea of polyamorist relationships,” Jesse interjected, looking between us like we were insane. Hey, we’d burned through a bunch of topics. “What Hayes is trying to say—without much success—is that we think you’re fucking amazing. Beautiful, funny, tough.” He squatted down so they were eye level. “In the last month, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. I want to take you out, make you smile.”
She was blinking wildly, and I leaned closer. “I’ve been completely smitten by you since you won your first race. You climbed from the car and did this little happy dance, and I thought I’d never seen anyone more beautiful in my entire life. I still haven’t.”
“And Hayes is my best friend. I knew he was totally whipped by you, and I love him more than any other person on the planet. I wanted him to be happy. Which meant you had to stay firmly in the friendzone. Until last night.”
She swallowed hard. “Last night?”
“If you’re open to the idea, both Jesse and I would like to take you out on a date,” I said, and there it was. All out there.
Jesse was nodding. “And if you aren’t interested, we can just forget this conversation ever happened. We’ll go back to flipping the house and supporting you as friends. Because we are adults, in control of our own emotions. No one will get all bent out of shape.”
I let out a long exhale. “Absolutely. Your happiness is what means the most.”
Tally’s eyes were so wide, I wondered if they’d fall out of her head. “Just so we’re all on the same page, you want to both be in a relationship with me? As in, joint boyfriends? Would we… uh… would we, um, go to bed together?”
I imagined Tally stretched between me and Jesse. I mean, we’d been friends for a long time. We’d fucked girls together. We worked well. But if it was Tally, sucking my dick while she rode Jesse?
I swallowed down the groan, working hard to keep my thoughts from my face. “If that’s something you’d like. We’ve shared women before; it’s definitely something we’re open to. But I’d be just as happy to have you all to myself.”
Jesse nodded. “You’re in the driver’s seat here, Tal. We can experiment with whatever you want, or keep it solo. Whatever makes you happy. But there’s absolutely no rush to decide on any of that. We can go slow.”
She was silent, her eyes flicking between the two of us. I began to sweat more, a rivulet sliding down my spine. Her face was so expressive, but I didn’t let myself hope. Not yet.
She let out a shuddering breath. “And if I want to go fast?”
Relief washed over me, but hot on its heels was desire. I leaned forward, capturing her mouth. She kissed me back, and it was electrifying. Better than I could have ever imagined, as I swallowed her little squeak of surprise, and then her moan as my tongue tangled with hers.
When I finally needed to breathe, I wrenched my lips away. “Yes?” I asked hopefully.
She looked at Jesse, who was now kneeling at her side. “Yes,” she breathed.
Thank fuck.
“I forgot you only knew one speed,” I teased, then leaned in to kiss her again.