27. Noah #2
He stays seated on the couch and lifts his hand to drain the rest of the Scotch in his glass, but I take it away before he can. Walking to the kitchen, I dump it in the sink, then get back to his side and pull him up off the couch. He sways a little but rights himself quickly.
Jesus, this is not a good start to the day.
“You’ve had enough,” I tell him quietly.
All he does is scoff and head for the elevator.
My heart breaks as I watch him go, but I need to stay strong. Gabe comes to my side and takes my hand, gifting me a small smile. I let out a breath and return the smile. “Let’s get this day over with.”
An hour later we arrive at the church in Gabe’s car where the funeral service is being held.
Then we’ll be going to the gravesite for the burial and after the funeral reception that Emma and Greyson are kindly hosting at their home.
They didn’t want Bryan to have to deal with all of it after losing his child, so they took everything into their own hands and even paid every expense for the funeral.
We step inside and make our way over to the grieving father, offering our condolences, then over to our friends.
All of them are already here. Morgan and Cecilia lean against their husbands, while Aubrey and Sam hold Gracie and Dante.
Greyson has his arms around Emma as she cries softly against his chest.
“Hey…” I place my hand on her back.
She looks up and turns from her fiancé’s hold, wrapping her arms around me as I do the same to her. “Thank you for coming.”
“Of course we’d be here, Em. We’re family.” I let go and hug Greyson next while Gabe goes to Emma.
Noah comes in after, pulling Emma in. She scrunches up her nose, then smells him and looks at his face. “Are you seriously drunk right now?” she whispers harshly. “This is a funeral, Noah. Couldn’t you have at least waited until the reception?”
“You wanted me here, I’m here. If you’re not happy with my state, then I’ll just leave.” He takes a step back, ready to head for the door, but I grab his wrist before he can.
“No, don’t go, okay? Just go sit down and I’ll join you in a minute.” He works his jaw then nods, going down one of the wooden pews as I release my hold on him.
I sigh and turn back to our friends, who all look over at Noah, not understanding what’s going on.
“Look, Noah’s going through some things…
He doesn’t mean to be disrespectful; it’s just a hard time for him…
” It’s the best I can give them, and I hate it.
Because they deserve to know, and Noah deserves to have their support as well.
“Whatever, get him under control,” Emma says, then turns and walks over to Bryan. I know she doesn’t mean to be rude, but I also understand her anger.
I join Noah in the pew, taking his hand as Gabe sits beside me.
I lean my head against his shoulder, my thumb rubbing soothing circles over his skin as the ceremony begins.
When Emma takes the stage, delivering her eulogy, Noah’s hands begin to shake.
His leg bounces up and down as he becomes restless.
Suddenly he rips his hand out of mine and moves over, raking his fingers through his hair.
“I’m sorry. I can’t do this.” His eyes plead with me to understand, and I do.
He looks over at Gabe next. “Take her home when you guys are done.” He stands and walks out, catching all our friends’ attention, including Emma’s.
I watch him leave, every cell in my body screaming at me to go after him, to hold him, to plead with him to talk to me. To beg him to let out this pain he’s burying deep inside.
But I don’t do any of that because no matter how much my heart bleeds for Noah, this moment is about my best friend and her own grief. So instead, I turn to Gabe as he wraps his arms around me. Then I rest my head into the crook of his neck and let myself cry in the comfort of him.
~ Five Days Later ~
Today is the day. The one I’ve been dreading all week.
The weather couldn’t be more fitting. Dark gray clouds cover the normally beautiful bright blue skies, weeping with us. Mourning along with us.
Noah keeps getting worse every day. Drinking more, talking less. He barely kisses me, hugs me, or holds me. Most nights he isn’t even in bed when I fall asleep. He hasn’t been on his morning runs since his sister’s death either and hasn’t been working out.
All he does is drink…
Drink…
And drink…
I miss him, I miss my boyfriend, my lover.
I miss the man who calls me his Kitten.
I miss my Casanova.
We’re currently getting ready in his room, the same black dress I wore a few days ago, back against my itchy skin.
The same black suit against his emotionally aching body.
We don’t talk as we get dressed. We don’t look at each other.
I’m desperately trying not to take this personally, but it hurts…
It hurts so much… I feel like I’m losing him, and I don’t know how to get him back.
The funeral isn’t for another two hours, but Noah wants us to leave while Gabe is occupied in the gym. Where he won’t notice our choice of clothing, where he won’t notice us leaving.
I turn my gaze to Noah as he pulls his black dress shirt on, passing the buttons through the small loops. His head is down, a gloomy look on his face. None of this feels right; we shouldn’t be doing it like this. We should be with our friends, our family.
They may not have met Trinity, but they would still be here for us. I know they would. I wish Noah would change his mind, I wish he would reconsider. None of this is healthy; this isn’t how people are meant to grieve, to heal.
I know I made a promise to him not to say a word, but my soul is screaming at me, begging me to do the right thing. Even if he hates me in the end. I don’t want him to go through this day alone and end up regretting it, because I know he will.
With that decision in mind, I grab my phone and head to the door. “I just need to grab something from my other purse in the kitchen. I’ll meet you by the elevator.” He doesn’t even look up, only nods as I walk out of the room.
I hurry down the stairs, into the gym where I know Gabe is in the middle of his workout session. The second he spots me, taking one look at my outfit, he rises from the ground and walks over to me.
“Vixen? What’s going on? Why are you dressed like that?” Worry seeps through his voice as his eyes bounce over my features.
“I don’t have much time to explain, but I need you to do something for me. It’s urgent. Noah can’t know,” I rush out quickly, looking over my shoulder to make sure Noah isn’t down to the main floor yet.
“Anything, baby. What do you need?”
I quickly fill him in on what I need from him. The more I say, the more the heartache for his friend becomes visible in his eyes. Once I’m done, he grabs my face and crashes his lips against mine.
“Thank you for being here for him. But you’re doing the right thing,” he breathes against my mouth.
“I hope you’re right.”
He steps back, quickly going to his phone and shooting off text after text after text. I scurry out and lock myself into the laundry room. I swipe through the contacts on my phone and call up the person I’m looking for. The one who will understand this situation more than anyone else.