Chapter 2
CHAPTER TWO
Ipopped up from the floor, unable to handle the intense way Frasier was looking at me after my admission. His expression was the same one he wore when he faced down an opponent on the ice. It said, I see you, and you can’t get anything past me.
“I’m going to go make some dinner. Do you want to stay and eat with me?”
“Sounds good.” He returned his attention to attaching the fan blades to the motor.
He was always helping with something around the house. I’d told him I could hire someone, but he always insisted on doing it himself. He was a fixer. If he saw a problem, he wanted to solve it. And I suspected that working on projects, helping me, helped him process his own grief.
I went to the kitchen, Bacon and Biscuit on my heels. I crouched down beside them, giving each of them a good scratch behind their ears. Then I stood and washed my hands so I could prepare dinner. Their nails scrabbled against the floor as they raced over to their food bowls.
I grabbed my tablet and pulled up one of my favorite recipes from Maggie, the team’s nutritionist. I was glad Frasier had agreed to stay because it pushed me to cook an actual meal.
As I washed and chopped the vegetables, I thought back on my conversation with Allie.
I knew my sister wasn’t trying to be hurtful, but her words had still had that effect.
It feels as if the light has gone out of you.
I’d wanted to rail at her, but deep down, part of me worried that she was right. For the past year and a half, I’d been in survival mode. And it was exhausting.
My sister could empathize all she wanted, but she’d never truly understand what it was like. And I hoped she never would.
But now, I’d gotten myself stuck in a situation. Her comment had made me feel defensive, deflated. So when she’d pushed about bringing a date to the wedding, I’d lied.
“I have a date,” I’d blurted, hoping my tone didn’t betray the anger and hurt, the defiance coursing through me. The lie.
“Who?” She’d laughed. “Frasier?”
“Yes,” I’d snapped. I’d been just… so over it.
“And he’s your date. You guys are together.” She sounded so smug. So skeptical.
“Yes,” I gritted out. She’d pushed me too far.
“What?” Allie shrieked. “Is that why you’ve been so annoyed anytime I suggested dating someone? Why didn’t you just tell me you were in a relationship with Frasier?”
“Because…”
Crap. Crap. Crap. What had I done?
I wasn’t dating Frasier. But the fact that she thought I was meant she—and others—would finally stop pestering me to “be happy” and “find love again.” It was also one hundred percent not true.
That would’ve been a good moment to course correct, but instead, I dug my heels in even deeper. “Because it’s new,” I said, scrambling for an excuse that made sense. “And we’re not really telling anyone.”
“But you’re bringing him as your date to the wedding.” It wasn’t a question, but it sounded like one, like maybe she didn’t believe me. Like she was trying to catch me in the lie.
I cringed. I’d told her that Frasier was coming, when I hadn’t even asked him if he would.
Instead of saying yes, I tried to backtrack a little. “It’s new, so please…don’t tell anyone that we’re together for now. Not even Kit.”
“Why not?” she’d asked. “Everyone will be so happy. This is great news, Bryn!”
Yeah. Great.
“I just…” I blew out a breath. I’d really done it now. “People might think it’s weird—me dating Derek’s best friend.”
It would be weird, right?
Frasier entered the kitchen, and I nearly dropped the knife I’d been holding.
He furrowed his brow. “You okay?”
“I was lost in thought. You startled me, that’s all.” I smiled brightly.
He placed his hand on my arm, somehow making me feel both calmer and even more unsettled. “You sure?”
Frasier was so tall I had to tilt my head back to meet his eyes. Six-foot-two and 190 pounds of muscle. I nodded. He held my gaze for a moment then, seemingly satisfied, he went over to the sink to wash his hands.
As I saw it, I had two options. Tell my sister I’d lied.
Or confess everything to Frasier and ask him to go with me to the wedding as my pity date.
Both options were embarrassing in their own way.
And besides, could I really ask Frasier to do that?
It was the off-season, and he deserved a well-earned break.
What would he even think?
I knew how guarded he was about his privacy. He didn’t like being photographed in public, and he was famously tight-lipped about his love life. If there was even a whisper of a hint that we were dating… I cringed.
I didn’t want to rush into anything, so I decided to think on it over dinner. I was still thinking on it as we moved outside to let the dogs run around after we’d eaten and cleaned up.
“Bryn,” Frasier said, and I turned to look at him. I sensed that he was nervous, but I didn’t know why. “This might be overstepping, but…”
Frasier sighed, lifting his favorite Dartmouth hat to drag a hand through his hair. The brim was fraying, but it was still his favorite. He’d had the hat since college, and it was so faded it was almost gray.
His hair was long, so long that it curled up at the nape of his neck. He looked like an ad for a wilderness survival guide. A man who was strong and rugged. Capable.
“Do you want me to go with you to your sister’s wedding?”
“I—” I blinked a few times. Here he was, handing me the solution to all my problems, and he didn’t even know it. Selfishly, I wanted to say yes. But I shook my head instead. “I can’t ask you to do that for me. Not when you’ve already done so much,” I added in a softer voice.
He was silent, and I couldn’t get a read on him. And so, instead of pausing to let him speak, I rambled on. “Besides, I know it’s later in the off-season,” I continued. “So you have to think about training more seriously.”
Frasier searched my eyes, and it felt as if he were peering into the depths of my soul. The man’s intensity was unnerving, especially when it was directed solely at me.
“Bryn,” he chided. “Come on.”
“I hate asking you to give up precious vacation time to go to my sister’s wedding. You’re always over here, helping me, when I know you have better things you could be doing with your time.”
A muscle in his neck jumped. “First of all, you didn’t ask me to go with you. I offered. And there is nowhere I’d rather be. Nothing I’d rather be doing.”
“Yeah, but—”
“Nowhere,” he said in a solemn tone that quieted me.
“Thank you,” I said, but it didn’t feel like enough.
Frasier was one of the few people who got it. Who knew what it was like to have a spotlight turned on your pain. He’d been nothing short of amazing since Derek’s death.
He’d been one of the first people to show up after Derek’s passing. One of the few people who continued to show up. His friendship had kept me going, and the memories we shared had been a huge source of comfort.
People acted…funny when someone died. It was as if they didn’t know whether to talk about the person, and it felt so lonely at times.
But Frasier and I always talked about Derek, kept his memory alive.
And I knew that Derek’s parents appreciated that just as much as I did.
I still met up with them regularly for dinner, and they still treated me like a daughter.
“What are the dates?” Frasier asked, pulling out his phone to check his calendar.
I relayed the info as I used my phone to search for the Huxley Grand Anguilla.
I navigated to the resort amenities section and handed my phone to Frasier.
“And it looks like they should have everything you need to train. Plus, they have a spa with massage therapists since I know how important rest and recovery are to your off-season training.”
“Wow. That’s…” He blinked a few times as if stunned. “Thank you for considering that.”
“Of course.”
He handed my phone back to me. Then he removed his cap, smoothed his hair back, and replaced his cap on his head with the bill facing backward. It made him look both boyish and hot. I did my best to ignore that sizzle of awareness his movements invoked.
He was attractive; he always had been. But it was the first time in a long time that I’d allowed myself to notice. And now that I had, I couldn’t seem to stop.
He actually seemed to be considering this.
Tell him.
I should tell him that my sister thought we were dating.
Instead, I said, “If you go, you’ll get an all-expenses-paid vacation to Anguilla. Plus, I’ll owe you. Big-time.”
I wasn’t sure what Frasier could possibly want from me, what I could offer him in return, but it would be worth it not to have to go to my sister’s wedding alone.
This would be the first wedding I’d attended without Derek, and I had no idea how I was going to react.
I loved Allie, and I desperately wanted to celebrate life and love—not dwell on everything I’d lost.
Sometimes that was the hardest part of losing someone—realizing that life moved on. Even when you didn’t want it to. Even when you weren’t ready.
“If I go, you’re not paying for my trip,” he said.
“You’re right. My sister’s fiancé is.” I grinned, knowing Frasier wouldn’t fight me on that.
We both knew Kit had more money than he knew what to do with. He was paying for the wedding but also travel and accommodations for all of his and Allie’s immediate family. It was incredibly generous, but that was just the type of guy Kit was.
“You don’t have to decide right now,” I added.
“You can think about it if you need to.” I wanted Frasier to agree to it because he wanted to go with me, not because he felt like he should.
And if I told him my sister thought we were dating, he’d definitely feel obligated to go. “I know I sprung this on you.”
“I don’t need to think about it.”
“Right, but…maybe you should. I don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”