Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“You missed a spot,” Allie said, pointing at a place on my back.
I glanced over my shoulder, down at my side.
After a short bus ride, we’d reached a small town where we’d be boarding the boat to Little Bay.
The group had dispersed to use the restrooms and purchase souvenirs and snacks before we boarded the boat.
I’d meant to put sunscreen on earlier, but I’d been a little distracted.
“Here,” Bryn said, stepping closer. “Let me help you.”
Her eyes were shielded by her sunglasses, the brim of my baseball hat casting a shadow across her face. She’d held my hand on the ride over, making conversation with her sister and the other guests as if it were all perfectly normal. As if our being a couple was nothing out of the ordinary.
I wanted to feel hopeful about our future, but I worried that, for her, it was all pretend.
That said, Bryn had been flirty. Affectionate. And not just when we were with her family. She’d been just as demonstrative when we’d been alone in our bungalow this morning, even when no one else was watching. Even when there had been no need to act like a couple.
She smoothed her hand over my shoulder, down my side.
I inhaled slowly and let it out just as slowly, trying to maintain some semblance of control.
She circled me so she was standing before me, drinking me in.
When she grazed my ribs with the tips of her fingers, I shivered.
Her lips quirked, and my cock jerked in response.
Not now. I groaned to myself.
I was used to shutting down my feelings on the ice so I could focus on the task at hand.
I’d conditioned myself to present a certain side of myself in interviews.
To don a mask in public. But this was a whole different level of compartmentalization.
I was pretending we were in a relationship to everyone else, while also pretending I didn’t have feelings for her when we were alone. Talk about a mindfuck.
She paused then, her eyes never leaving my torso. “When did you get this?” Bryn asked, her fingers gliding over the Roman numerals there.
My newest tattoo blended in with some of the others, and since it was on my ribs, I wasn’t surprised she hadn’t noticed it before.
“A few months after he died,” I said in a quiet voice.
She furrowed her brow, her touch lingering. Everyone else was too busy to pay us much attention. I couldn’t focus on anything but her.
“But it’s his birthday?”
I held her gaze. “I prefer to celebrate the life he lived than commemorate the day he died.”
“It’s…” She peered up at me then, smiling. “I like that.”
“Okay. Is everyone ready to board the boat?” our guide asked.
Bryn took a step back, and we followed the others on board. The water was so clear; I couldn’t wait to see what it looked like beneath the surface. But for now, I was content to enjoy the ride with Bryn nestled in my side.
It wasn’t long before we pulled up to a cove that felt more like a private beach. A few people stood along the top of the cliff, but otherwise, it was all ours.
“Wow.” Bryn scanned the scenery, from the rocky cliff walls to the brilliant turquoise water.
After we’d anchored, our guide pulled out a bin of snorkel gear as well as some paddleboards.
The boat rocked gently on the waves, but the water was pretty calm overall.
I grabbed a mask and snorkel for Bryn and myself, and by the time I’d returned to our seats, she’d removed her cover-up.
I was grateful for my sunglasses because my eyes felt as if they were going to pop out of my damn head.
Her swimsuit wrapped around her breasts, the fuchsia and hot pink popping against her tanned skin. But it was the way she was standing—the confidence and poise—that made her seem even hotter.
The boat rocked on the waves, and someone bumped into me. It was enough to shake me out of my thoughts.
“Ready?” I asked, holding up a mask and snorkel.
Bryn grinned, pushing up on her toes to kiss me on the cheek. “Thanks, babe.”
I tried not to let my surprise show. Either the term of endearment was part of the facade, or it had slipped out. I could only hope it was the latter.
She removed my hat, tucking it safely in her bag along with her sunglasses. She’d braided her hair, letting it flow over one shoulder. For a minute, she looked the same as she had nearly ten years ago. And I felt as if we were back in college again.
I jumped into the water, grabbing on to one of the nearby paddleboards.
Bryn approached the stern of the boat and then turned so her back was to me.
She slowly descended the ladder there, and I tried not to groan aloud at the sight.
I was grateful my lower body was concealed beneath the water because her ass was fucking phenomenal.
She swam over to me, latching on to the opposite side of the paddleboard. “Seen anything yet?” she asked, eyes blinking at me from behind the face mask.
“Been waiting for you,” I said.
She grinned as I placed my snorkel in my mouth. And then we both held on to the edge of the board as we peered beneath the water.
Bryn pointed to something, and as it approached, I realized it was a turtle.
It was so graceful as it swam through the water.
We stayed that way for a while, pointing things out to each other and just taking it all in.
Every so often, we’d resurface and talk about what we’d seen.
It was unlike anything I’d ever experienced.
After a while, Bryn climbed on top of the board. She lay on her back, eyes closed.
“You okay?” I asked.
She smiled. “I’m great. This was just what I needed.”
I placed my hand over hers. “Good.”
“All right,” our guide called out. “If anyone wants to jump from the cliff, now’s a good time to go for it before it gets crowded.”
“I think I’m going to do it,” Bryn said, shocking me.
I hadn’t expected her to want to do it. And I knew I shouldn’t do it. Coach would kill me. And yet, I found myself saying, “Me too.”
“Frasier, no.” She turned on her stomach, water droplets clinging to her skin. She shook her head. “You can’t. You could get in trouble with the team.”
According to my contract—and that of pretty much every player in the league—we were prohibited from engaging in other sports that might impair our ability to play hockey without written consent from the club.
It was a little late to ask for permission.
And it was the off-season. If I couldn’t do it now, when could I?
“It’ll be fine. Besides, it’s not technically a sport.”
“Even so—”
“If you’re going,” I said, cutting off her argument, “I’m going.”
She hesitated a moment then nodded. “Hop on so we can paddle over to the rope we need to climb up.”
I was grateful Bryn and I had worn shoes in the water because the rock looked rough, and I didn’t want it to tear up our feet.
I climbed on the paddleboard behind her, leaving about a foot of space between us.
She scooched back so her ass was cradled between my legs, and I just sat there for a moment in shock.
“You’re going to do it?” Allie asked.
Right. Of course.
Bryn was cozying up to me so that we’d be believable as a couple.
Yet again, my body didn’t get the memo. Being around her lately was like living in a perpetual state of arousal.
And as we paddled our way over to the cliff, every brush of her body against mine was both exquisite pleasure and torture.
We reached the base of the cliffs and handed off the paddleboard to some of our fellow guests. Bryn went first, scrambling up the rock. I was too focused on keeping both of us safe, my heart pounding in my chest as I followed her up to the opening where we were supposed to jump from.
I wasn’t worried for myself. The climb was strenuous, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle. But there were no safety nets, nothing to keep her from falling.
Bryn didn’t look down, didn’t look back. So I continued on until she pulled herself up over the edge. I joined her a moment later, unable to look away from the way her chest was flushed with color, heaving from exertion.
“You good?” I asked, scanning her body as if to check her over.
“Yeah.” She grinned. She seemed almost…energized. Invigorated or something. “You?”
I nodded, and we both turned to look out at the water. When I’d been climbing, I hadn’t looked back. And now that we were at the top, I was realizing it was a long way down.
“You don’t have to do this,” I said, noticing how quiet Bryn seemed all of a sudden. I figured she was rethinking her decision to cliff jump, and I wanted to give her a way out. “We can climb up the rest of the way and have someone pick us up at the top.”
She shook her head, resolved. “I have to do this. I want to do this.”
“Why?” I asked, genuinely curious.
“Because my head is screaming at me not to, and I’m sick of letting it run the show.”
Well, I certainly couldn’t argue with that.
We’d spent so much time together over the past year and a half, but it was only in the past few days that I’d felt this pivotal shift. Both in my relationship with Bryn, but also in our relationships with our grief over losing Derek.
Even so, I could see that she was trembling. Maybe she was cold, but I had a feeling it was nerves. There was no shame in changing your mind.
I found myself asking, “You’re sure?”
She looked me in the eye. “Life is meant to be lived.” And then she took a steadying breath and peered out toward the opening. “I’m ready.”
Her words felt significant. As if she was ready to do more than jump off the cliff. She wasn’t intending to fall; she was ready to fly. She was ready to live.
So, I held out my hand, wanting her to know that she had my support—both in jumping and in embracing life and all it had to offer. “Together?”
She placed her hand in mine, her gaze locked on me. “Together.”
I found myself adding, “Always,” as we took a step toward the edge.