Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Ilet out a happy sigh, drinking in the beautiful view as I peered at the ocean from the bridal suite.
I eyed myself in a nearby mirror—the romantic half-up, half-down hairstyle was both relaxed and elegant, and I was excited to see how the makeup artist would finish my look.
My eyes were bright. I looked relaxed, and I felt alive.
I knew I’d be tired later, but I hadn’t been this happy in a long time.
It wasn’t just about the sex, though obviously, that had been phenomenal. Frasier made me feel cherished and adored, both in and out of the bedroom. But it was so much more than that.
I felt as if I’d walked through fire and come out the other side.
Something had finally clicked—the months and months of therapy, the work I’d done myself, my talks with Frasier, all of it.
For the first time in a year and a half, I was no longer surviving but thriving.
The grief was still there—it would always be there, but it didn’t feel as heavy as it once had.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I pulled it out to glance at the screen.
Georgia: I know you’re busy with wedding stuff, but I just wanted to check in to say I’m thinking about you!
I smiled, feeling so grateful for the women in my life. For Georgia and my mom and Allie, Kylie, and Logan. Each of our relationships was so special to me, and I loved how unique they all were.
Me: Thanks! Getting ready for the wedding now.
I snapped a few quick pictures—of my view from the window, the bouquets lined up—and sent them to her. Allie’s bouquet was particularly beautiful, taking inspiration from the island setting with the palm fronds and large green leaves that backed a cascade of white flowers.
Georgia: Looks gorgeous. You know I’m here if you ever need to talk.
My chest warmed at her offer.
Me: I know. Thanks. Lots to catch up on when I’m back.
Her response was almost immediate.
Georgia: Ooh. Interesting. I’m definitely intrigued.
I knew she wanted more information, and I felt bad for being vague. But this wasn’t the type of conversation to have via text, especially not on my sister’s wedding day.
Me: Girls’ night in with the gang?
Georgia: Definitely. I’ll mention it in the group chat since I think Logan’s coming to LA soon.
Me: Awesome! Looking forward to it.
“Bryn,” Allie called. “You’re up next with the makeup artist.”
“Thanks.” I pocketed my phone.
Allie wrapped her arms around me from behind, and I laughed. I heard the click of a camera shutter. The photographer had been buzzing around, discreetly trying to snap some candid shots of the bridal party and my mom getting ready together.
“I’ve missed you,” Allie said.
“Same.” I turned to face her. “Actually, I have a conference in Boston this fall. I might be able to come a few days early on the front end and hang out if you’re free.”
“I’m free!”
I laughed. “You haven’t even checked your calendar.”
“Don’t need to.” She grinned. “If you’re coming to visit, I’ll make sure I’m available. The wedding has been fun, but I feel like I’ve barely seen you.” She pouted.
“It’s been a whirlwind, for sure.”
“I know, but I’m so glad you’re here,” Allie said. “I can’t tell you how much it means to me. And I’m glad you brought Frasier.” She seemed to hesitate.
I tilted my head, sensing there was something more she wanted to say. “What?”
“When he’s around, you just… Well, I can see how happy you are.”
I was happy. But this happiness also felt…fragile and fleeting. Part of me was terrified something would come along and ruin it.
“And I know you’re taking it slow,” Allie continued. “But I know you, Bryn. And you wouldn’t have jeopardized your friendship with Frasier unless you thought it was worth the risk.”
“I…” I blinked a few times, stunned by how insightful Allie was.
I wasn’t even sure I’d consciously had that thought until she voiced it aloud.
“Yeah.” I swallowed hard, thinking of last night and the line Frasier and I had crossed.
“You’re right. It was a big risk. He’s one of the most important people in my life. ”
This wasn’t a vacation fling—at least not for me. And I didn’t think it was for Frasier either. It was something we’d need to discuss at some point. But for now, I was content to just enjoy.
Allie’s expression softened. “I’m delighted for you. Truly. You deserve to be happy again.”
I pulled her into a hug. “Thanks, Al.”
When I released her, she said, “I hope I’m not being insensitive by asking this. And you can totally tell me to fuck off if you don’t want to answer. But do you think… Could you ever see getting…”
“Can I see myself getting married again?” I asked, and she nodded. “I think it’s a little too soon to jump to that,” I said, though I was surprised to find I wasn’t as quick to rule out the possibility as I would’ve been in the past.
After Derek had died, I’d been convinced that I’d had my one and only love story. But now… I found that I was more open to the idea of a relationship. Of love. Maybe not marriage, but maybe I didn’t have to rule it out either.
The future was undecided, and it was up to me to embrace it.
“Well, yeah,” Allie laughed, seeming relieved. “You haven’t even slept together. You definitely need to make sure he’s good in bed before you shackle yourself to him. Though…how could he not be? That would be a crime.” She looked horrified at the mere idea.
My cheeks heated at the memory of last night. His hands on my body. His mouth exploring me. The feel of him inside me, filling me.
“Wait. Wait!” Allie’s eyes widened. “No way. Did you guys have sex?” When I nodded, she squealed. “Shut up!”
I laughed. Fortunately, before Allie could press me on it, the wedding planner approached with some questions.
“I want to hear the details,” Allie said, pointing at me before she turned and walked away.
I sank down into the makeup artist’s chair, chatting with them and my mom as I got my makeup done. It was relaxing, and it was nice to spend time with my mom. She’d been so busy helping Allie plan the wedding that we hadn’t gotten to see each other in person as much as we usually did.
A light lunch was delivered, and the flower girl and her mom arrived to get ready. Brooke was excited, chatting happily with everyone. I hung out with her while she got her hair done, and we had an enlightening and entertaining conversation about unicorns and other mythical creatures.
Finally, it was almost time for the ceremony. Most of us were ready, apart from putting on our dresses, and the atmosphere was ebullient.
“A toast!” The maid of honor popped the cork on a bottle, and some spilled out before she started filling glasses.
She handed a glass to Allie and one to me. Allie gulped some down, and it was only then I realized that she didn’t seem her calm, fun-loving self.
“Whoa there.” I laughed. “Does someone have some wedding-day jitters?” I teased, mostly because I could tell she was tense, even if she was trying not to let it show.
“Not about marrying Kit, but…” Allie glanced around then whispered, “I’m kind of rethinking my decision not to elope.”
I nudged her, careful not to spill the remaining liquid in her flute. “What happened to the confident woman who gave Brooke a pep talk last night?”
“I—” Allie swallowed. “I know it seems silly to be nervous about walking down the aisle, but I am.”
“It’s completely normal,” I said, rushing to reassure her. “And I’m pretty sure you’ll feel much calmer as soon as you see Kit.”
She nodded. “You’re right. I’m sure you’re right.” She blew out a breath, her shoulders relaxing. “I’m so glad you’re my big sister.” She leaned her head on my shoulder.
I wrapped my arm around her. “Me too, Al. Me too.”
The rest of the afternoon passed in a blur of champagne and laughter. At least until Allie gave each of us a necklace made with a freshwater teardrop pearl. She thanked each of us for the role we’d played in her life, and by the end, everyone was trying not to cry.
After a quick makeup refresh, I escorted Allie down to a small courtyard where she and Kit would share a private “first look” before she walked down the aisle.
I fluffed her train, settling the hem of her dress so it laid just right.
It was a simple but elegant strapless dress with a mermaid silhouette.
The cathedral veil really gave it a dramatic flair.
She was a beautiful bride, and I wanted her to have that picture-perfect moment with her husband-to-be. When I glanced up at her, I realized that she was no longer my annoyingly lovable baby sister but a strong, independent, beautiful woman. I sniffled, quickly swiping away a tear.
“Bryn?” Allie peered down at me. “Are you okay?”
I stood, taking her hands in mine. “Yeah. I’m just—” I smiled wistfully. “I think I’m only just now realizing how grown-up you are.”
She laughed, wiping away a tear of her own. I gave her hand a quick squeeze, then ducked back to the bridal suite to grab my bouquet and let Allie and Kit enjoy a moment alone together.
Before I knew it, it was time to walk down the aisle.
The guests were seated facing the ocean—all azure waters and a white sandy beach.
Large candles in hurricane glasses dotted the aisle along with bundles of baby’s breath.
Music floated on the salty air, the string quartet playing something that sounded like a rendition of a Sabrina Carpenter song.
Kit and the officiant took their places, along with the groomsmen. The floral arch was covered in more baby’s breath, and it looked ethereal and romantic. I waited my turn, taking a deep breath when the wedding planner indicated it was time.