Nine
C hecking the phone for what feels like the tenth time, I place it back in my purse beside me in the back seat. I’ve been very anxious lately and my brain can’t turn off. It appears that Micah has noticed my elevated level of stress and surprised me with two tickets to see Moulin Rouge on Broadway.
Seeing Broadway shows was something Lottie and I used to love doing. We would go as often as we possibly could. I, of course, went to ogle at the ornate costumes, and Lottie went for the theatrics of it all. On occasion, Micah would join us too, usually complaining about the length of the plays, but I know he low-key loved it. In a perfect world, I’d be designing those costumes.
I miss those days when my bestie lived next door. I miss being able to spend every available moment with her, spill all our secrets to one another, and not have a care in the world besides what we were going to wear to school that day.
Oh, how times have changed. Now when I talk with her, I have to censor almost everything that comes out of my mouth. I fear that Junior has my phone tapped. I’m hoping my Nori Beach trip doesn’t fall through; I need to feel some sense of normalcy before I literally lose my mind.
Maybe that’s why Micah did this for me today…or at least that’s what I'm trying to convince myself is the reason and not because of the bruises Trent saw that mar my neck. I’ve caught Micah subtly trying to look for the marks a few times already, and the fact that he’s the one who gave me the burner phone today tells me he knows more than he’s letting on.
As I watch the street signs pass me by, I realize that we’re nowhere near the theater… We’re in the heart of SoHo.
“Hey, guys, where are we going? This isn’t 45 th Street.” I ask Luca and Micah, who are both in the front seat of the SUV.
“Don’t worry, we’re taking a slight detour,” Luca replies nonchalantly, like he’s not forty-something blocks south of where we need to be.
I pop an eyebrow at my brother as he continues to stare at his phone. There’s still time before the show starts, but I assumed we left early so we could grab a bite to eat… Clearly, that’s not the case.
“Mind sharing what that detour might be?” I ask, hopeful I’ll be given a real answer, but a response never comes. Instead, the SUV pulls up in front of a cute Parisian-style boutique hotel.
Luca turns in his seat to face me. “You have thirty minutes,” he says, handing me a keycard envelope with Hotel Luxure and room 328 written on it.
Hotel Luxure… Trent’s hotel.
“He’s waiting for you,” Micah adds before exiting the SUV to open my door.As I step out, he reaches for my arm, causing me to pause and look at him. “Let him explain, alright.” Steeling my nerves, I nod.
The hotel is stunning, but I can’t truly take it all in at this moment. My heart is practically in my throat as I walk down the hallway of the third floor. A mixture of emotions runs through me at the thought of being alone with him. Not only am I eager to talk and get some answers, but I’m also confused and angry in regard to him suddenly being back. Stalling right outside the door, I take a deep breath.
I can do this... I deserve answers.
A scan of the card and my questions will be answered. So why is it so damn hard to raise my hand?
With one last deep exhale, I’m entering the room.
The door barely has time to close behind me before big arms wrap around me, pulling me in close while I relish the familiar scent. It smells like home and safety…everything I’ve been yearning for these past few years. Before I allow myself to sink further into his embrace, I pull back and stare at the man who’s never been far from my heart. But this man looks different from the one I’ve been missing.
Since no one is around to witness my lingering stare, I can finally get a good look at him. Trent’s bigger than I remember, tougher even, and with an edge I don’t recall being there before. He looks older and more mature, but in a good way. His dirty blond hair is a bit shorter than I’d prefer; I used to love running my hands through it, pulling him closer as our bodies molded together. Regardless, Trent is still sexy as sin, and his kind green eyes beckon me to him like they did the first day I met him.
As I continue to stare at him, the only question that escapes my lips is, “Why?” Why did you leave me? Why haven’t you reached out? Why are you back now? I wait on bated breath for his response while trying my best to hold back the tears.
“I asked Micah to bring you here. I needed to talk to you somewhere we could be alone,” he replies as he takes me in.
Opening my arms wide, I say, “Well, I'm here, so start talking.” I don’t know how to act right now. I'm more than relieved to be here with him and finally getting this time together, but at the same time, I’m still upset. Harboring feelings of betrayal.
Not only do I blame my parents for the situation I'm in, but deep down, I partially blame Trent too. I know he had nothing to do with my marriage to Junior, but I feel like if he stuck around and didn’t disappear, I wouldn’t be the shell of a woman I am now having to take matters into my own hands. Or at least that’s how I felt until he showed back up, and now I don’t know what to think.
I know I'm selfish. I’ve heard of the saying if you love someone, you should let them go, but dammit, I wasn’t ready to let him go. Especially without even a goodbye.
“Come, sit down. Let me explain. We don’t have a lot of time,” he says, walking toward the couch in the room.
“I'm trying to understand what’s going on. I know there’s a lot I don’t know…”
Trent reaches for my hand once we’re seated on the couch. The warmth of his touch sparks a forgotten feeling of comfort deep within me. A feeling that I’ve been longing for years to experience again.
“But I’ve also been hurt for so long by your absence. Leaving without a word…that hurt. I’ve never experienced pain like that before. Even your brother wouldn’t give me any real answers. ”
His brow furrows. “What do you mean? You went to my brother?”
“When I hadn’t heard from you…I sought out your brother. I needed answers, Trent. No one knew what happened to you. Lottie and G were clueless too, so he was my last resort.” I shift in my seat to angle my body toward him. “When he told me you went to Europe to study abroad, my heart broke. Knowing you left without a single word. Especially when he confirmed you were there with Amelia.”
I shouldn’t have shared that last piece of information with him. It doesn’t matter who he went there with. But knowing he was overseas with her, that hurt the most. If I'm being honest, I'm not sure it’s something I ever truly got over. It’s silly, I know… I was engaged to someone else, yet here I was, pissed that he was somewhere so breathtaking with another woman. Many nights, I would dream of what it would have been like if it was me he took there instead.
Trent’s voice interrupts my daydream. “What the fuck, Ashley? Do you honestly think I left you to go to Europe with Amelia?”
Swallowing hard, my eyes drift to lock onto his. I don’t answer. I let my expression do the talking. His hands rub over his face in an exasperation.
“Amelia, really? Ashley… I went there for you. For us,” he says, grabbing onto my hand again. “I went there for you,” he says with more assertion when I don’t respond.
“What do you mean?”
He scoots closer to me, and the feel of his body next to mine allows my shoulders to relax for the first time today.
“You know I work with Trevor. ”
I nod, and he continues.
“Well, it goes a bit deeper than that. I could feel you slipping through my fingers, and I needed to do something. Needed to figure out how we could get through this.” He exhales loudly, then starts again, and I hold my breath for what he’s about to say. “It's no secret our brothers knew each other. Your brother was worried about you. Even though everyone thought Junior was going to treat you right. He still took pity on me, on us. Because he knew we were in love, he and my brother approached me with an opportunity. My brother is part of an organization called The Saints. Not sure if you’ve heard of it.”
I nod again. Of course, I’ve heard of them…
The four tally marks. I knew I had seen them before, and now it all makes sense.
“Well, with some help from Trevor and a push from Micah, I was invited to join. However, part of my initiation requirement was to finish my doctorate. You see, each member has a role they fulfill within The Saints, allowing our influence to infiltrate worldwide.”
“But why Europe?” I ask, still not understanding that piece of all this.
“We have a chapter there where I was able to train, as well as finish up school in their accelerated undergrad program. That way, by the time I came back to New York, I could immediately start med school and already have some training under my belt. It made the most sense while I developed a plan.”
My eyes drop to my hands resting in my lap while I let that all sink in. He didn’t abandon me… He left for me. For us .
“But why didn’t you call or tell me what was going on? It hurt, Trent, it hurt so badly I could barely function. ”
He grabs hold of both my hands, shocking me momentarily at the sudden movement. “Baby, do you know how much it broke me to walk away from you? Leaving you here with another man, and now seeing what he’s done to you…” I feel his hands trembling around mine, his eyes staring at my neck where I attempted to cover the evidence. The expression on his face has my stomach rolling. Embarrassment causes me to scoot away from him on the couch. I know what happened is not my fault, but the fact that he sees me as a victim has my temper rising.
He runs his hands through his hair, tugging at the ends. “Fucking hell, Ashley, I wish you would’ve told someone.”
Frustration nearly chokes me as I stare at him incredulously, my arms flying wide. “WHO, Trent? Who would I have told…and better yet, what would they have done?”
“You could have told Micah, at least?” he says in a low voice.
“What purpose would that serve? I did all of this to protect my family!” My voice rises once again as the emotions inside me grow and morph and overwhelm me. There’s no pinpointing which one is taking the reins right now. I'm beyond frustrated, I'm sad, and most of all, I’m angry. “If I went to Micah with this, he would have gotten himself killed.”
“If I know your brother as well as I think I do, he would have stopped at nothing to make sure you were safe,” Trent says, reaching for me, but I shift farther away from him.
“Exactly my point! Why endanger him like that? I had already lost you. My relationship with my parents was nonexistent… I couldn’t afford to lose anyone else,” I say shakily, eyes blurring as my hopelessness rises to the surface.
The pain in Trent’s face is blatant, along with the unshed tears in his eyes. “You should have never had to deal with any of this. I haven’t been able to think about anything else since I saw you yesterday.”
Neither have I. I hated the thought of him imagining what those bruises meant.
“Just so you know, I was planning to come to you last Friday. But since he’s been so paranoid about the shooting, he held his meeting at the house. I didn’t get the chance to escape before it ended.”
I stand up, needing to create some distance to have this conversation. With my head bowed, I say, “He hasn’t ra—raped me again since that night.” Just hearing the words out of my mouth sends an unwanted chill over my body, but I want to call it what it is, and he may be my husband, but what he has done to me over the past several years has been unwanted, painful, and abusive.
My chin tips up and my gaze meets Trent’s. His previous unshed tears are now leaking from the sides of his beautiful green eyes. He remains quiet, still knowing my cues and understanding that I need to get this off my chest. “At first, he acted like he understood that I needed some time to adjust. I never told him, but I was so in love with you; every time I tried to work up the courage to even kiss him, it felt like cheating, and I couldn’t bring myself to do it. After a while, it became evident he was getting his needs met somewhere else and, honestly, I couldn’t have cared less. But then his father died a few months into our marriage, and he became Don Santini. His broody behavior turned into full-blown rage, and I was the easiest target. I had heard of people who were given a little power taking it too far and, well, Junior took it to a whole other level.” I'll never forget the first time he forced himself on me, calling me a slut for having sex before marriage. Information I told my father in hopes it would deter Junior from wanting to marry me. Instead, he just stored it away and used it as verbal abuse while he raped me.
I pause, catching my breath and trying to maintain my composure. “At first, I think he started because he liked controlling me, and then it became about creating an heir to take over after him one day. It’s why he tracks my period, and why I’m expected to be in his room the first and fourth day of my ovulation cycle.”
Trent watches me intently as I return to my seat beside him.
“The other night, he found the birth control I have been hiding from him. He was so angry. I knew it would happen eventually, so it didn’t come as a shock to me. The only blessing is that since he knew I wasn’t ovulating, he hasn’t tried anything else since then. I’m sure the strippers at Sinners are much more fun.” I give him a tight smile and shrug my shoulders.
This time when he reaches for my hand, I let him take it in his. “Ashley, I have no words. My world feels like it's been flipped on its axis just hearing what you have gone through. I wish I could take away all the pain. All the awful memories.”
Him being the first person I have felt comfortable enough to discuss all this with has me word vomiting exactly how depressed and alone I’ve felt since he’s been gone. “I have been nothing but a trophy wife these past three years. Always showing me off, acting like the dutiful husband in front of everyone, including my brother and father. But behind closed doors, I wasn’t stored nicely away in my gated mansion. I was a trophy that was never polished. And I started to tarnish from the inside out. Ever since my father died, he’s been caring less and less about keeping his showpiece intact for others to see. Hence the bruises. ”
With every day that passes, I feel another piece of what makes me me being stripped. Soon, there will be nothing left. I’ve given up too much at this point to see it all be for nothing.
Before I realize what’s happening, I'm being pulled onto Trent’s lap. I’m trembling from the inside out, tears welling in my eyes. His hand cups the back of my neck as he holds me tighter, trying to soothe me.
“Shh…it’s okay. It’s all going to be okay,” Trent whispers.
“Will it, though?” I sniffle while the tears finally break free and fall down my cheeks. As I cling to him for dear life, his thumb gently wipes away my tears. His strong, protective arms wrapped around me has my body sagging in relief. He’s the lifeline I’ve so desperately been waiting for.
“I promise you. You will make it out of this,” he says with such conviction that the lack of the word we is almost lost on me. I tense up at the realization and pull back, staring into his eyes.
“We, Trent. We will make it out of this,” I confirm. After everything we’ve been through, I’ll be damned if we don’t make it through this together. No matter what’s coming.
His hands encase my cheeks, and he brings his forehead to mine. I relish the connection as our arms wrap around each other, holding on for dear life. I don’t dare to open my eyes in fear that this will all be a dream, but I can feel his lips hovering just above mine. This moment right here feels so good, so right. Our closeness almost makes me forget the life waiting for me outside of these four walls.
An alarm rings out, and with it, he releases a deep sigh. “Time’s up,” he whispers, leaving our foreheads pressed together as we breathe each other in one more time. His lips lightly brush across my forehead before he pulls away .
“Okay, one last question,” I say before continuing. “Nori? Was that your doing?”
His sly smile is all the confirmation I need.
“But why… How?” The shock from this revelation has me fumbling over my words.
“You needed someone who could protect you.”
I stare at him in disbelief. All this time… A part of him was with me all this time. My eyes well with tears yet again. Even from afar, he was always looking out for me.
Everything I’ve done is for you.
“I’ll see you soon, baby,” he says as he helps me to my feet, and we step toward the door, hand in hand.
Knowing he’ll be with me again soon gives me enough strength to leave. I smile inwardly as I walk to the waiting SUV. To think I waltzed through that hotel door to berate him for abandoning me and giving up on us, and now I'm leaving with a restored hope for the future.
As I watch Hotel Luxure fade away in the distance, it dawns on me… I’m no longer fighting this battle alone.
Trent
I embrace Micah in a brotherly hug as he enters the private humidor room. When I called for a meeting, Nico arranged for us to come to this cigar bar in the Flatiron District.
Another Saint owns the establishment, so we knew it was safe and neutral ground. Micah is a trusted ally to Nico, but only Saint members are allowed at The Quartet .
Micah hugs me a little longer than normal. He’s no doubt hurting over all the new revelations. I grab the back of his head and hold him close. “No matter what, your dad didn’t deserve that shit.” This is the first time I’ve seen him since the news, and when we talked on the phone, I was jumping down his throat over Ashley.
When he leans back from me, emotion unlike I’ve ever heard from him laces his words. “I’m sorry, brother.” He shakes his head and continues. “I want to end him for murdering my father. But knowing what he has been doing to Ash has me so fucked up. I want to burn him alive for that.”
I pat his shoulder, and my mind rushes to the things she opened up to me about earlier. For my own good, I shut those thoughts down because, if not, I’ll spiral and drive my ass over there right now. “We are going to take that son of a bitch down.”
“Absolutely.” Micah gives me a weak smile that barely quirks his lips.
“One more thing,” I say, and Micah looks at me, brow furrowed, probably ready for the other shoe to drop after all the terrible news he’s gotten lately.
“It was really hard for me not to say anything to Ashley tonight about Junior killing your dad, but I think she should hear it from you.”
Micah nods in understanding. “I’ll tell her.”
The ache in my chest eases. It seemed so wrong not telling her, but we didn’t have much time. Besides, I felt it was better for her brother to have that moment with her, to share in her grief, not the man, who, in her eyes, just showed back up after three years of being a ghost .
“Join us,” Nico says from his seat beside my brother at the round table in the center of the room.
Cigar smoke billows through the air, and we do as he asked.
“Trent, the floor is yours.” Nico leads, taking a swallow of his whiskey.
“Thank you all for coming. I needed to discuss the current Junior situation with you three.” I take a sip of the water in front of me, not in the mood to drink. “My brother and Micah know some of what I’ve learned in the past few days, and I wanted to bring you up to speed.” I direct my attention to Nico. “Nico, you know my loyalty to The Saints. I also know it’s never been a secret to you that my goal is to break Ashley free of the chains tying her to Junior.”
He nods. I’ve always been upfront about this; the only stipulation was I also had to be all in with The Saints, which I proved myself to be.
“However, recent evidence has me begging you to make this a priority. I know you want to end Junior for all the mess he’s causing in the city, but he’s been abusing his wife and forcing her into things she does not want for years now. I won’t go into details for her privacy, but I want to be honest with you and need you to know that I’m at my breaking point here.”
Literally.
Nico rubs his hands over his face, that’s covered in a painful grimace. “I’m sorry to hear she’s been treated that way. He is the scum of the earth, just like his father and, unfortunately, I can imagine how you are feeling.” Taking a deep breath, he reassures me. “But I promise you, I’m closer than ever to having what it takes to end him once and for all.”
He looks at all three of us. “If we do this the right way, then none of you have to be put at risk when it's all said and done. And most importantly, Ashley will be free of him without the consequences.”
Some of the tension I’ve been holding on to leaves my body with his admission.
“I currently have three other people on the inside besides Luca and Micah. Only one of them is possibly around when conversations of importance may be had. Recently, a discussion was overheard about money laundering through Sinners, which doesn’t come as a surprise. However, from what Don Amato in New Jersey is telling me, Junior is behind on the payments he owes to the head family in Italy.”
Interesting.
“My intel believes this is because he is putting it into an offshore account, but we need more info for our PI to prove this.”
“And once you have proof?” Trevor asks.
Nico twists his cigar between his fingers. “Then we’ll kill him, like we have always planned. However, the hit order will hopefully come from within the Italian families and therefore no backlash.”
“That makes sense as to why he’s been so reckless since my father’s death,” Micah says, pondering for a moment. “He knew the issues with the Russians would get back to the families in Italy, and they would know he should be bringing in more money, not less.”
Releasing a heavy breath, I nod. That’s exactly what’s going on; he’s sloppy, which makes me feel even better about the way this plan will play out.
“He’s supposed to go to Italy soon, so it will be interesting to see how that goes,” Micah adds, which he had shared with me over the phone. It eases my mind about Ashley’s safety in that house until we figure all this out. Now I just have to pray he actually goes.
Nico responds, “Don Amato thinks they may even request his presence sooner with all the strife going on because of him. Micah, while I have you here—Tony, the Soldati who guards the gate at Junior’s home, are you familiar with him?” He takes a puff of his cigar, and Micah nods.
“He’s working for me now on the inside, and I trust him. He’s the one who told me about witnessing Junior kill your father. Tony has no loyalty to Junior, but he spoke very highly of you and your father. He has no clue of your involvement in any of this, but if you would like to use him as an ally, I truly believe he would be loyal to you till the end.”
Micah swishes the brown liquid, staring into his glass. “At this point, I’m down with anyone who is against Junior, no matter the risks. I’ll talk to him.”
“Good, good,” Nico says. “Then it's settled, and I’ll let you all know as I find out more about this offshore account or any other intel.”
The mood is somber, no one wanting to continue the night with booze and cigars after the things we’ve discussed. So, we all finish our drinks and say our goodbyes.
“I didn’t think it was supposed to be cold tonight,” I say through chattering teeth to my brother, since we had the bright idea to walk home.
“Oh, come on, I figured you were used to the cold from your time in Europe. And this isn’t too bad. It will be much colder here by this time next month.”
His mention of Europe has my steps stuttering.
“What?” he asks, worry marring his face.
I turn to face him. “Did you tell Ashley I went to Europe with Amelia?”
Trevor faces me and bites out, “Who the fuck is Amelia?”
“A girl who was in a lot of my classes my freshmen year at NYU. We used to study together.”
“Okay, but why would I have said that…”
My annoyance rises at how oblivious he sounds. “Let’s start here… Why didn’t you tell me Ashley came to see you after I left?”
His eyes lower, and he shakes his head. “Fuck, Trent, I’m sorry, but you know it would have just made it worse if you had known she was looking for you.”
More sadness creeps in, because he’s right and part of this is my own guilt. It always felt wrong not to let her know what I was doing and that I was coming back. But at first, I convinced myself I was trying to give her a fair shot at being happy in the life that was chosen for her, and I didn’t want her to have thoughts of me holding her back from that.
Fuck, how wrong I was.
“I understand,” I mutter and begin walking again. Our steps are slow, my body feeling the heaviness of the past few days.
After a few minutes of silence other than the hustle and bustle of the city, Trevor speaks up. “Shit, I do remember now that she asked did you go with anyone, and I lied and said your study partner. I had no clue it was even a girl.” His face looks pain stricken at the sudden realization. “I remember now how her face morphed from pain to fury. I’m so sorry. I’ll explain to her if I need to. I was just trying to protect you both.”
I shake my head. “It’s okay. Ashley believes me that I wasn’t with her, and I’m sure she knew you had your reasons for lying.”
Trevor throws his arm around me. “Damn, I never thought I’d look up to my baby brother. But the way you two have loved each other through everything and all the depths you have gone to for her…” He ruffles my hair like he used to do when we were kids. “I hope I can love someone like that one day.”
“You will.”
I barely hear his next words. “Or maybe I already have, but I’m just not allowing myself to feel that.”
“Take it from me, don’t hold back. If I had given up easily when Ashley told me she was promised to someone else, I would have missed out on the greatest love of my life.”
I’d rather be fighting for my happily ever after with her than going through the motions with someone else.