23. Riley
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
RILEY
M y arms stretch upward, my spine lengthening as I slowly peel my eyes open, squinting against the harsh light shining through the window. As I move, I feel a warm solid body behind me, momentarily catching me by surprise until my mind registers that it’s him.
Almost every night the past month, I’ve intentionally fallen asleep on the couch with Nash, mainly because I didn’t want to go to bed without him, but I also didn’t want to cross that line and ask him to sleep with me.
I didn’t have to ask last night.
He stayed all night long.
His tattooed arm snakes over my torso, his fingers dancing across my naked, swollen stomach. “Mm,” he murmurs, his face nuzzling against my hair. “I could get used to this.”
“Used to what?” I ask him, my voice quiet as I nestle my head in the pillow. My breath hitches, catching in my throat as anticipation swirls in my stomach.
“Waking up with you next to me.”
My heart stumbles over itself in my chest as the sound of his voice vibrates against my eardrums. His warmth encapsulates me, soothing my soul as I turn in his arms to face him. Nash looks at me—really looks at me—before pulling my face to his chest. I breathe in the scent of him, reveling in the way he feels and the way he makes me feel.
From the nightstand behind Nash comes the annoying sound of his alarm. He groans, removing one arm from me as he reaches behind himself to turn it off. “I don’t want to leave again. I feel like I just got back.”
“I know, but you have to,” I tell him, refusing to be the reason why he doesn’t do the things he’s supposed to do. “I’ll be here when you get back home.”
“You make it so hard to leave,” he murmurs as he buries his face against my neck. “I just want to spend the rest of eternity right here with you.”
“Well, we can’t do that,” I tell him, laughing as I wrap my arms around him. “When the baby comes, we’re going to have to answer to him.” My heart stops in my chest as Nash pulls back to look me in the eye. “I don’t know why I said that. I meant me. I’m going to have to answer to him.”
His throat bobs, his eyes burning through mine as he shakes his head at me. “Not just you, love,” he says quietly as he moves closer, pressing his lips to my forehead. “We both will.”
“Nash,” I whisper his name, emotion building in my throat as he moves in the bed, his eyes meeting mine once more. “He’s not your responsibility.”
“What if I told you I want him to be?” He pauses as he slowly sits up in bed. “Every child should have a father figure in their life. He doesn’t have to biologically be my child for me to fill that role.”
My eyes widen in shock, desperately searching his. “Please, don’t, Nash.”
“Don’t what?” he asks as he rises to his feet, collecting his dirty clothes from the floor.
“Don’t say things like that,” I tell him as I start to move to sit up when a sudden, sharp pain radiates from my temple. My face screws up, my eyes closing as I wince.
He stops, his clothes in his hands as concern moves across his expression. “Are you okay?”
I nod, squinting my eyes as the pain subsides and becomes more of an ache. “Yeah. Changing positions just made my head hurt a little.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” His voice is hoarse with panic laced within his words. “Do you want me to call the doctor?”
“Nash, I’m fine,” I tell him, ignoring the dull ache settling behind my eyes. “Can I ask you to do something for me?”
“Anything,” he says in a rush, worry still lingering in his tone.
“Don’t tell me things to make me feel good when you don’t know what your future holds.”
The muscle in his jaw tightens, his eyes staring directly into my soul. “Do you want to know what I see when I think about my future?”
“Yes.”
I don’t hesitate to answer even though it scares the shit out of me. I can’t live my life in fear of getting hurt anymore. I want to know. I need to know.
“You.” He says the word with declaration, like it’s the written law. “You are all I see, Riley. You’re all I’ve ever seen.” He moves back to me, kissing my forehead once more. “I’ll see you when I get home.”
Home.
It sounds so natural falling from his lips, like this is where he’s always belonged. Right here, with me. Three words linger on the tip of my tongue, but I swallow them back before they escape me. I watch Nash as he leaves my bedroom, stopping by the bathroom and the guest room before he makes his way downstairs.
He's barely gone two minutes when my phone dings from my nightstand. Leaning forward, I reach for it, seeing his name on the screen.
Nash
I ordered you breakfast and it should be there in twenty minutes.
Riley
You didn’t have to do that.
Nash
I didn’t have time to make you food and I need to make sure my girl eats.
You’re growing a whole-ass human in your stomach right now, so nutrition is important.
My eyes won’t stop drifting back to those two little words. My girl . After the conversation we had before he left and the things he admitted, it’s hard not to read into it. He could mean so much by it, but in my heart and soul, I know exactly what he means.
I’ve always been his, even if we were too stubborn and blind to see it until now.
Nash Simmons was always the one person I wanted, but when we were younger, it would have never worked out. He went through the typical phase of sleeping around and I ended up dating a guy for the last two years of high school. Nash was traveling for hockey, chasing his dreams while trying to get into a professional league.
I knew I needed to let the thought of him go, even if I hated to do it. I couldn’t hold on to a crush that I didn’t realize was actually reciprocated.
I didn’t want to upset my best friend by having a thing for her brother, so I hid my feelings and locked them away inside, swearing I would never revisit them again. When he started playing professionally, it made things a little easier. At first, I didn’t see him as much and I convinced myself there would never be anything.
Nash had to be seeing other women, so I started to do the same, although none of them ever stuck. None of them ever lasted because they were never him. I decided to spend time alone and spent two years single before I met Chad. That was short-lived and we’ve seen where that situation got me.
If I’m being honest, as much as I feel like we wasted so much time getting to this point, I wouldn’t redo it. If I never met Chad, I wouldn’t be blessed with this little boy who’s going to make me a mom. He’s the biggest blessing life has brought me.
I don’t know the extent of Nash’s dating history and I don’t even care at this point. All that matters is now and the moments we have together. He may not want me tomorrow or next week or next year even, but he wants me now and that’s enough for me.
He’s enough for me.