25. Riley
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
RILEY
S quinting my eyes, I attempt to find some kind of relief from the nagging pain in my head. It’s been lingering for a few days now and no matter what I take for it, it just doesn’t seem to help. It may dull the ache a bit, but it still lingers. My body feels exhausted from fighting against it, and I resist the urge to just curl up on the couch with a pillow and blanket.
As I head into the kitchen, a smile lifts my lips when I see a bouquet of flowers sitting on the table. I don’t know when Nash put them there with how busy his day was with their morning skate and game-day routine. He left about a few hours ago when I was lying down to take a nap. The guys rotate whose house they’re having their pre-game meal at and today it is at Rowan’s house.
I haven’t been feeling well since I woke up this morning and spent most of the day in bed. Nash was concerned when he left, but I assured him I was fine. He insisted I stay home during tonight’s game so I can rest and I didn’t object to the idea.
As I go to move toward where the flowers are, the strangest thing happens as I turn my head. The light shining above in the kitchen leaves a long trail, moving with my line of sight.
I blink three times, my vision returning to normal as I walk over to the table to smell the flowers. It’s the prettiest arrangement and I find a small card tucked inside.
If I remember correctly, when you first opened your flower shop, you told me that carnations are your favorite.
I hope they still are.
See you tonight.
Love, Nash
I read over his words two more times before tucking the small card back into the flowers. As I stare at them for a moment, I run my hand over my stomach, an unusual feeling engulfing me as I realize I haven’t felt the baby move at all today. I push my palm firmly against my belly where I know part of his body is. He doesn’t react at first, but I’m relieved when I feel him pushing back.
Moving slowly, I turn back around to the counter, my eyes doing the same thing with the trails of light. A sigh escapes me, worry rolling in the pit of my stomach as I let my eyelids fall shut once more, attempting to get my vision to cooperate.
I don’t know what the hell is going on, but all of this is extremely unusual for me. None of the symptoms of PoTS have ever been like this. Abandoning the idea of eating any food, I move over to the other side of the counter where the small blood pressure cuff is and I slide it over my wrist as I find the paperwork the doctor gave me with different symptoms to keep an eye out for.
My eyes scan the paper as I feel the cuff squeezing my arm. Every single symptom I’ve been experiencing is written as clear as day on this paper.
Fuck. This isn’t good at all.
The blood pressure cuff deflates and beeps at me. I glance at it, expecting to see a number on it, but instead there’s an error message. My eyebrows scrunch as I press the button and try again, waiting for it to work this time, but it does the same exact thing.
I glance at the time on the stove. It’s already six o’clock in the evening. I don’t know how the hell I lost so much time today. My body feels bogged down, almost like I’m coming down with the flu. That has to be it, but out of caution, I decide to dial the on-call number for the ob-gyn office.
A woman answers, taking my information before telling me that she’ll pass my details on to the doctor who is on call and they will give me a call back within the next twenty minutes. Anxiety builds in the pit of my stomach as I halt, standing in shock in my kitchen for a moment.
I’m only thirty-seven weeks. According to the doctors and the baby books, a baby could come at this point and be fine, but the longer they are in there, the better. I run my hand over my stomach again. He’s not ready to come out yet. Hell, I’m not sure I’m ready for him to come yet either.
My movements are slow, my head still aching, as I climb the stairs up to the nursery. It feels like I’m climbing a damn mountain with the way my legs feel like they’re weighing me down. I’m a bit panicked and not feeling well at all as I find the packed hospital bag sitting on the dresser. I open it up, looking through everything once again.
Everything is in there and ready to go. I run my hands over the newborn-sized outfit, my eyes landing on the small jersey from Nash sitting next to it. I lift it up, flipping it over, as I see BABY with Nash’s number on it.
Tears spring to my eyes, but I quickly swallow back my emotion as my phone starts to vibrate in the pocket of my sweatpants. I pull it out, my heart pounding in my chest as I see it’s the on-call number. I answer it in a rush, quickly slipping into a conversation with the doctor that does not go where I wanted it to.
She wants me to come into the hospital, even if it’s just for them to check me out and send me home… but she also tells me to bring my hospital bag just in case.
Fear envelops me and I’m momentarily frozen as my heart kicks into overdrive. Dread rolls in the pit of my stomach and I shove the jersey into my bag before zipping it up and heading into my bedroom. I’m moving on autopilot, fueled by the adrenaline coursing through my body. I didn’t have a bag packed for myself, so I quickly grab a few things and toiletries and shove them into a duffle bag before heading down to the foyer.
The fucking car seat isn’t even in my car yet.
I’m not ready for this. I’m not prepared at all.
Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath, controlling myself as I focus on my breathing, counting the inhales and exhales. I need to get it together here. Everything is going to be fine. I don’t need to call Nash and worry him or anyone else. I just need to get myself to the hospital, so they can check me out and send me home.
If only it were that simple…
***
“Did anyone come here with you?” The nurse, Hadley, questions me as she secures an admission band around my wrist. “I can go out and get someone to take them to your room.”
I shake my head, my mind paralyzed in fear and shock. “I came by myself.”
Her eyes widen. “You drove yourself here?”
Pulling the inside of my cheek between my teeth, I nod. “I thought I would be in and out of here.”
“I’m sorry,” she says softly, her hand reaching for mine as she gives me a gentle, reassuring squeeze. “I wish we were able to, but I’m afraid we can’t, given the circumstances.”
When I arrived, my blood pressure was alarmingly high. So high the nurse immediately went in search of a doctor and they made the decision to admit me. It’s exactly what we were all hoping wouldn’t happen—severe preeclampsia. The headaches and distortion to my vision is caused by the swelling in my brain. It’s too risky and unsafe for them to send me home, especially with the reduced activity of the baby.
He’s being affected by this now too.
I will do whatever I have to, to keep him safe.
The doctor comes back into the room, her face grim as she walks over to the computer and pulls up my lab results. “The protein in your urine is alarmingly high.” She glances at me, realizing I’m not understanding. “It’s caused by the high blood pressure, and that combined with the results from your blood work, your kidneys are now being affected.”
The dread in the pit of my stomach feels like a bag of concrete.
“Given your neurological symptoms, we want to make sure you don’t end up having a seizure or a stroke. As soon as we get you into your room, we will start a few different medications. One will be to induce labor and another will be to prevent any seizures.”
My eyes widen and my voice cracks. “Induce labor?”
“Unfortunately, your condition is not good and delivery is the only treatment for preeclampsia. If we can keep you stabilized and the baby doesn’t go into distress, we are planning for a natural delivery. If any additional issues arise that threaten you and the baby’s safety, we will have to take you in for an emergency C-section.”
All of this is extremely jarring, leaving nothing but fear inside of me. I know she’s only telling me so I’m well-informed, but Jesus Christ. When I first started having a headache the other day, I didn’t realize this is what it would lead to. I had no idea I would be sitting in the hospital with my life potentially on the line.
I would rather know all of this than be blindsided by it.
“Okay,” I tell her, putting on my brave face as I nod. “Whatever has to happen to keep him safe.”
In the back of my mind, I know they prioritize the health of the mother, but I can’t focus on that. I would rather have him alive and me not here than to have to live in this world without the precocious little life I grew inside my abdomen.
The doctor tells me she’ll be by to check on me after they get me settled and the medications started. Hadley turns back to me, an apologetic, yet comforting smile on her face.
“Let’s get you transferred to your room.” She starts to move about the room, unhooking things from the wall to get me moved. “If you want to call someone to come be with you, we can get them to your room too.” She gives me a knowing look. “We’re going to just pretend you didn’t drive yourself here in the condition you’re in.”
I wince, giving her a silent apology. “In my defense, I didn’t want to worry anyone else. I didn’t think it was this serious.”
“Well, it’s just a good thing you came in when you did,” she tells me, her voice soft, and I don’t miss the hint of worry lingering. Hadley leaves the room for a moment and I quickly pull out my phone, tapping on my messages as I find the thread with Nova.
Riley: I don’t want you to worry, but I started to feel pretty shitty this afternoon, so I called the doctors and they asked me to come to the hospital. They just admitted me, but I am okay and the baby is okay.
Nova doesn’t text me back, instead she calls me immediately.
“What’s going on?” she questions me as soon as I answer her call.
I give her a quick rundown from the doctor, leaving out the super-scary parts like about having a seizure or a stroke. The last thing I want to do is send her into a panic. I’ll explain how serious it is when she gets here.
“I just texted Nonna and she’s coming here now to stay with Poe. I’ll be there in, like, thirty minutes, okay?”
“Okay,” I tell her, emotion encapsulating me as I rub my hand over my stomach, wishing he would just move. “I didn’t say anything to Nash.”
“Don’t,” she says, her voice serious, and I know why. The last thing he needs is any type of distraction. “I will tell him after the game.”
“Okay,” I repeat, nodding my head and forcing a smile as the nurse comes back into the room. “They’re getting ready to transfer me now, so I will text you the room number when I’m there.”
“I love you, Ry. Everything will be okay, I promise.”
“I love you too,” I tell her, ending the call as I look back at the nurse with tears in my eyes. I know Nova will be here soon enough, but it is terrifying being here alone.
“Are you ready?”
I nod at her, not feeling ready at all, but knowing I have no choice. I’m a mess of emotions, filled with fear and worry, but there’s nothing I can do about any of it. I want Nash here, but that’s another thing that’s beyond my control.
All I can do now is be brave and hope that the doctors can keep both the baby and me safe.
Both of our lives depend on it.