Chapter 23
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
MIA
Two days of silence and I feel like I’m going insane.
“How do casual hook-ups work?”
“What do you mean?” Willow questions me just as Steven also begins to talk.
“Who are we talking about?”
I let out a breath, pressing my foot down on the brake pedal as I pull up to the red-light. I’m currently on my way to Caleb’s house to watch Tella for most of the day. The other night has played on repeat in my mind since I drove home that morning.
“We’re talking about her and that gorgeous hockey player who hired her as his nanny.”
“Wait, wait, are we talking about the one I think we’re talking about?” Steven asks, his voice coming through the speakers in my car as soon as Willow stops talking. “Momma Mia, where art thou?”
“I’m here,” I say quietly, letting them have their moment. “Is it normal to have an intimate moment with someone and then just not talk for a few days after?”
“Oh, honey,” Willow says softly. “Yes. Neither of you owe the other anything more than what happens in that moment.”
“I think it just depends on the person or the hook-up, honestly,” Steven adds in. “I’ve done ‘casual’ with a few people who ended up being clingy as hell.”
I purse my lips, pressing on the gas when the light turns green. “So, all this could be perfectly normal?”
“I mean, what’s going on?” Willow asks.
I shrug, even though neither of them can see. “Nothing really. We—um—we were together the other night and haven’t spoken since. I mean, he texted me about what time to come today, but that was it.”
“Sounds normal to me,” Steven says.
“Let him adjust and acclimate. This is new for both of you,” Willow says, chiming in as the voice of reason. “If he acts like you don’t exist in person, then fuck that, but if you’re just talking about when you’re apart, then I think it’s normal.”
“Is there anything really normal with casual flings?” Steven chuckles. “Just go with your gut, Mia. If it feels wrong, it probably is.”
“Okay, okay,” I tell both of them, turning on my turn signal. “I’m pulling up to his place now, so I’ll keep you posted.”
“Are we still going to get drinks for your birthday tonight?”
“Caleb has a game tonight, so if I don’t get out of here too late,” I tell Willow. Steven isn’t in town anymore, so Willow and I are going to go get drinks to celebrate without him. I meant to say something to Caleb the other night, but it slipped my mind.
“Okay, let me know. Love you!” Willow says as Steven says bye and we end the three way call.
I thought maybe I’d feel better after talking to the two of them, but I don’t.
I don’t want to seem clingy or desperate.
I don’t need to hear from him every single day, but I can’t help feeling like I’m in a vulnerable place.
We shared an intimate moment, a moment that felt deeper than the purely physical he spoke of before. I can’t let myself read into it and make it seem like it’s more than it was. I have to mean what I said to him.
I have to convince myself that I won’t ever want anything more with him.
After parking in Caleb’s driveway, I slip out of my car and make my way to the front door. It’s already unlocked, so I let myself into the foyer. The soft sound of music drifts down the hallway from the kitchen.
I kick off my shoes, setting my bag on the bench by the front door before I head deeper into the house.
As I walk up to the kitchen, I pause in the doorway, my heart crawling into my throat as I see Caleb standing over by the oven.
He bends forward, the muscles in his back stretching as he leans down to look just beyond the glass as he tilts his head to the side.
I look at him for a moment, watching as he pulls open the door and the sweet aroma of chocolate chip cookies wafts through the air. My stomach unleashes a grumble in protest and I remember I forgot to eat a full breakfast.
A chuckle bubbles in my throat as I glance at the clock and then back to Caleb as he slowly stands upright.
“Cookies for breakfast?”
His shoulders relax and he slowly turns around to face me.
The corners of his mouth twitch when his gaze meets mine, and he tucks his hands into the front pockets of his grey sweatpants.
They hang a bit low on his hips, showing the black waistband of his boxer briefs that hide the lower half of the V shape that disappears beneath them.
He’s wearing his glasses this morning and my God, he’s a sight that would break your damn heart. Tousled hair, damp from an early morning swim, low hanging sweatpants, the perfectly chiseled torso, and those grey eyes that burn brighter than the sun.
“I didn’t want to mess up baking a cake and I didn’t have time to order one.”
I slowly tilt my head to the side, moving away from the doorway as I enter the kitchen.
“Tella told me you like chocolate chip cookies,” Caleb says, his voice low as he meets me halfway. His fingers trail along the side of my face as he brushes my hair away. “Happy birthday, pup.”
Heat creeps up my neck before spreading across my cheeks. I can’t stop the smile that takes over my face. “You didn't have to bake me anything.”
“I know I didn't,” he half whispers, his eyes searching mine as he tips my chin up. “But I wanted to. You should have told me it was your birthday.”
“It didn’t feel like an important thing to mention.”
Caleb’s face dips down to mine, his lips softly brushing against my mouth.
He kisses me with a tenderness that doesn’t require any words to be spoken.
His lips move against mine, gently coaxing them open as his tongue slips inside.
He feels like silk and tastes like chocolate as his gentle kisses turn to pecks before pulling back. “It’s important to me.”
My heart is lodged in my throat. He releases my face, taking a step back before he turns around to head back to the oven.
“Do you have any plans or anything to celebrate?”
“I—uh.” I pause, shaking my head to chase away the dazed feeling he leaves inside my brain. My fingers hover over my lips, while I scan the back of his body. “My best friend Willow wants to go get drinks after your game, if I have time. It’s not a big deal though.”
The timer on the oven begins to beep. The cords in Caleb’s muscles tighten as he presses the off button and grabs two oven mitts. His fingers tease the opening and he slowly pushes them into the mitt, one by one.
How does he make everything look sexy?
Caleb pulls the cookie tray out, setting it on the stove top before he turns back to look at me. “You don’t have to wait until after my game.”
My eyebrows tug together. “What do you mean?”
“When Tella told me about your birthday, I talked to Andi and she’s going to keep Tella tonight.”
Emotion washes over me. It’s such a simple gesture, but it hits me hard inside my chest. He had no idea I had plans.
He also took the word of a five year old, who could have gotten her days confused.
But he went ahead and made other arrangements so I could have the evening off.
“You didn’t have to do that,” I say, my voice barely audible.
“I don’t do things I don’t want to do, pup.”
Tella comes bounding into the kitchen, severing the moment as she wraps her arms around my legs. “Happy birthday, Mia!”
I catch Caleb’s gaze, the way his expression softens and a warmth enters his eyes as he watches his daughter. I stare down at her, waiting for her to release my legs before I crouch down and pull her in for a hug. “Thank you, Tella! Did you come down for the cookies?”
“Duh, silly!” She giggles and hugs me back. When she pulls back, her blue grey eyes meet mine. “And because it’s your birthday! Birthdays are the best days ever.”
“They are, aren’t they?” I smile back at her, tapping the tip of her nose with my finger.
My gaze shifts past her, colliding with Caleb’s as he watches me from across the room.
His throat bobs with a rough swallow, a ghost of a smile dancing across his perfect lips and I could swear his eyes are a bit misty.
“The cookies should be cool enough to move to the cooling rack in a few minutes,” Caleb says, his voice catching in his throat as I stand back upright and Tella marches over to the oven. “Wait until they’re cooled before you eat them,” he tells Tella.
“Aw, Daddy. You’re not even going to stay and eat Mia’s birthday cookies with us?”
I stifle a laugh, walking over to the two of them. “He has to go to practice, babe.”
“I promise I’ll eat one when I get home,” he says as he leans down to plant a kiss on her forehead. “You be on your best behavior for Mia.”
“Yes, daddy,” she says, nodding her head at him as she steps around him to head over to the fridge.
“Thank you, Caleb,” I say just loud enough for him to hear me. “Thank you for this.”
He studies my face and he takes a step closer, lifting his hand to cup the side of my face. “Thank you,” he counters, his voice barely above a whisper. The pad of his thumb runs along my jaw and he immediately drops it away as Tella closes the fridge. “Happy birthday, Mia.”
His eyes linger on mine for a fraction of a second longer before he leaves the two of us in the kitchen and heads out the door to the garage.
I touch the side of my face, feeling the warmth of his fingers once more.
My own fingers move down to my lips and I bite back a grin, still feeling the softness of his mouth pressed against mine.
Caleb Ford is inching deeper and deeper into the organ beneath my ribcage and he doesn’t even know it.
And I’m not so sure I’ll ever tell him how much any of this actually meant to me. But I swore this could just be casual. Who am I kidding?