Chapter Twenty-Seven Maksim
Like Sarah suggested, I took the leather recliner that was very obviously her father’s while she sat on the end of the couch closest to me. As she turned on the TV with the remote, Sarah asked, “What kind of movie do you want to watch?”
“Something b-black and white with no sex,” I mused.
She laughed. “Hmm, I think I can find something within those parameters.”
In the end, we ended up watching reruns of something called “I Love Lucy”. I’d never seen it before, but it was definitely a palette cleanser after the harshness of the evenings.
Around midnight, I noticed Sarah wasn’t giggling at Lucy’s antics anymore. When I glanced over, she was sound asleep. With a smile, I rose out of the chair and grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch.
After draping it over her, I started to go back to the chair, but she threw her hand down to stop me. “Sit with me.”
“I thought you were asleep.”
She stared drowsily up at me. “I was. But there’s something I need to talk to you about.”
“It can wait until morning. Just g-go back to sleep.”
“No, it can’t.”
Easing down beside her, I said, “What is it, Ms. Stubborn.”
I expected her to smile at my teasing, but her expression remained serious. It caused my chest to clench.
“Even though you’ve done so much for me, there’s one more thing I would ask of you.”
I stared intently into her eyes. “What is it?”
As she swallowed hard, I watched the delicate bob of her throat. “Your associate who kidnapped me….”
My chest clenched in agony at the reference to the Beast. Fuck, she was going to tell me she’d been wrong earlier about wanting to start something with me. She’d had time to think about it now, and she was going to ask me to bring the two of them together.
After everything we had been through, it was still him she wanted.
Just the thought made me want to bolt out of the room and keep running until I’d put enough distance between us that I wouldn’t feel this horrible ache in my chest. Somehow I thought I could never run far enough.
“Yes?” I choked out.
“I don’t want to ever see him again.”
Oh fuck. Was I really hearing her correctly? “I…d-don’t understand.”
“We have a past, and it’s one I don’t want to be reminded of anymore.”
Every molecule that had shuddered to a stop at the thought of her not wanting me suddenly burst forth with new life. Fuck me. I’d been wrong. Sarah didn’t really want the man who had brought her fantasies to life.
She wanted me.
“You have my word.”
Instead of being relieved, Sarah wrung her hands in her lap. “Didn’t you hear me?”
“I did. But…”
“There’s more?”
She nodded. “I know this will sound crazy, but we have a past beyond just him abducting me.”
Fuck. Was she about to tell me about her and the Beast’s sexual past? “You don’t have to t-tell me anything.”
I felt horrible at the fear flickering in Sarah’s eyes. “I want to tell you, but I’m afraid.”
“Of what?”
“That whatever this is will end before it has a chance to start.”
I grabbed her hand in mine. “T-There’s nothing you could tell me that would do t-that.”
“I promise there is.”
Trying to put her out of her misery, I replied, “I’ve fucked many women in the past, Sarah.”
She blinked at me in surprise. “Um, okay.”
“I said t-that to make the point that I d-on’t care who you’ve been with in the past. All that matters is what happens when we’re together.”
A ragged breath escaped her lips. “Even if he worked for you?”
“Even if he was my brother.” But then I thought about my brothers being with Sarah and I grunted with disgust. “I t-take that back. It would take some time g-getting over you being with one of them.”
A nervous laugh bubbled from Sarah’s lips. “Trust me, I can’t imagine being with any of them.”
“Are you sure? T-They are pretty handsome and charming.”
“I’m sure.”
“Right. Then we’re g-good?”
The amusement slunk from her face. “There’s something else I need to tell you.”
“Another alleged d-deal breaker?”
“This one might really be.”
Even though I knew what she was probably going to say, I replied, “I seriously doubt that.”
A ragged breath shuddered through her. “I like to participate in primal play. Have you ever heard of primal play?”
Nodding, I replied, “A chase with predators and prey that can be consensual or nonconsensual.”
“Yes, that’s it.” Wrinkling her nose, she replied, “Except for the nonconsensual pat. It’s too rapey for me.”
“I would agree.”
Sarah stared intently at me. “That doesn’t bother you?”
“I had a t-threesome once. Does that b-bother you?”
“While I appreciate you trying to level the playing field, they’re not really the same.”
“They’re pretty kinky t-to vanilla people.”
A laugh burst from Sarah’s lips. “True.”
“To me, it sounds like we’re alike–we b-both like kinky sex.”
“I guess so.”
“One day will p-pursue it together, okay?”
Heat flared in her gaze. “Okay.”
“Now go back to sleep.”
“I’ll try.”
She then snuggled against my shoulder. It didn’t take long for her breathing to shift.
As I lay awake staring at the ceiling, I despised myself for not coming clean with her then.
She’d been brave enough to risk telling me about the Beast, yet I remained a pussy by refusing to come clean about the Beast’s identity.
But Sarah’s fears weren’t in the same category as mine. She only thought she had to worry about my response to her admission.
I knew mine would break us apart.