Chapter Forty-Three Maksim
Tormented agony twisted me in two as the smell of my own blood clogged my nose. With each slice of the knife into my abdomen, I slipped farther and farther away from the hard floor of the bakery.
And then there was total darkness.
I seemed to roam around within it for hours if not days. Far away voices called to me, but I couldn’t reach them no matter how hard I tried.
After a while, my throat suddenly burned in agony. It felt like there had been a sword stuck in it and then ripped out. As soon as it came, it abruptly stopped.
And then I was blinded by a radiating light. As it enveloped me in warmth and comfort, sadness, rather than relief, swirled around me. I’d grown up on the promise of the white light and heaven, but I wasn’t ready. I was too young. I had too much left to do for my family.
I wanted to keep fighting for Sarah.
Within the light, a figure with flowing blonde hair appeared before me. My heart surged as I blinked in disbelief. “Irina?”
She smiled as she reached out her hand for me. “Hello, my beautiful son.”
I hiccuped a cry at her words as I thought of how I wished she’d been my mother. As if she could read my mind, she said, “Not the son of my womb, but of my heart.”
“You don’t know how much I’ve missed you. How the others have missed you.”
That same ethereal smile curved at her lips. “I do.”
“I’m dead, aren’t I?” When she shook her head, I asked, “Yeah, I’m not even trying not to stutter, and my speech is perfect. I’m so not alive.”
“You’re not dead.”
“So what, is this like a hallucination from lack of oxygen?”
“It’s a projection of the future. It’s part of your mind and your subconscious.”
I should’ve been elated that I wasn’t really dead. But I couldn’t when Irina stood before me. “Bullshit!”
Her blue eyes widened. “Always with the bad language,” she chastised.
Ignoring her scolding, I argued, “Why should I get more time and not you? You had kids to raise when you were taken.”
“This isn’t real, Maksim. It’s just a projection,” she reasoned.
“It’s still not fair. You should’ve gotten a second chance like me,” I whined like a petulant child.
“You’re right. It isn’t fair. But there’s still much for you to do. You have power that I never did.”
“I’m not a good man, Irina.”
“That’s not true. Good men aren’t all good, and bad men aren’t all bad.”
“Is this trying to tell me I should go back and become a priest or something?”
A tinkling laugh escaped her lips. “No, my son. That’s not it.”
“Then what?”
“Keep being the man you are inside. When the time comes, you’ll see me again.” Her hands came out to cup my cheeks. “But it will be real then.”
“So this is all just a trippy fantasy I’m having?”
To my surprise, Irina rolled her eyes. “You didn’t listen when you were younger, and you still don’t.”
I laughed. “No. I didn’t.”
After kissing my cheek, Irina said, “Rest for now. You’ll need to wake up soon.”
Grabbing her arm, I said, “Don’t leave me. Stay with me until I’m asleep.”
She gave me that radiating smile again. “Just like when you were younger, I could never tell you no.”
As she wrapped me in her arms, I closed my eyes. Irina hummed one of the lullabies of my childhood. It wasn’t long before the soothing sound of her humming was replaced by an irritating beeping noise.
Blinking my eyes, I took in my surroundings. I wasn’t in the bakery or the dark wasteland or the weird trippy heaven place. Instead, I was in the hospital bay at our compound.
With a grimace, I turned my head to the left. Dima slept awkwardly in a chair where his neck looked like it was going to break. The sight of him so close to my bed warmed my heart.
Slowly, I turned my head to the right. There wasn’t a chair there, but a cot instead. Peering over the edge, I took in the covered form on the cot. Every molecule in my body shuddered at the sight of Sarah sleeping on her side, her face turned towards my bed.
As my heartbeat accelerated, the machines started going off around me. “S…Sarah?” I croaked.
Her eyes popped open. The instant she met my gaze she threw back the covers and sprang out of bed. “Maksim? Are you really awake?”
“Are…you…really here?”
She hiccuped a cry. “I asked you first.”
A smile curved on my lips. “You are here.”
“You know because I was being a smartass?”
“Exactly.”
“Oh my God!” she shrieked.
At the sound, Dima shot out of his chair. He almost lost his balance so he grabbed hold of the rails of the bed. “Holy shit! You’re really awake.”
Frowning, I asked, “How long was I out?”
“Four days.”
My eyes bulged. “It’s been four days since I was at the b-bakery?”
“After the first night, you were stable enough to come off the ventilator, but then you just wouldn’t wake up,” Dima answered.
Tears sparkled in Sarah’s eyes. “Then Aleks came to get me to see if maybe I could get you to wake up.”
“And it t-took me three more days?”
She laughed through her tears. “Apparently, I wasn’t the miracle maker Aleks thought I would be.”
“Yes, you were,” Maksim murmured.
When I tried to reach up and cup her beautiful face, agony ricocheted through me, causing me to cry out.
“Easy now,” Sarah cooed.
“I’m not an invalid,” I grumbled.
Dima snorted. “Actually, you are. Just like I was.”
“I’m p-paralyzed?”
“No, no. You just have a long road to recovery before you,” Sarah replied.
“I think you might meet up with my physical therapist,” Dima teased.
I groaned. “I think I’ll just d-die instead.”
A squeak of alarm came from Sarah. “Oh no you will not.”
At that moment, that horrible night at my apartment came rushing back. Pinching my eyes shut, I gritted my teeth, trying to ride out the wave of agony.
“Maksim, what’s wrong?” Sarah asked, taking my hand in hers.
“I just remembered how I fucked t-things up with you, and how you’re only here out of p-pity.”
“Look at me,” she commanded.
Since there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for her, I popped my eyes open. “I am not here out of pity. I’m here because I love you.”
I sucked in a harsh breath, which made me wince. “You are?”
She nodded. “As long as you’ll have me, I’m not going anywhere.”
All the pain and suffering and longing converged in that moment. And although I hated myself for it, I started sobbing. Like body convulsing, bed shaking sobbing.
“I’ll go get the nurse,” Dima said,
Of course crying sent excruciating pain through my abdomen. “Shh, Maksim, please don’t cry.”
“I can’t believe you’re forgiving me.”
“Well, I’m not.”
Swiping my nose, I asked, “What?”
She smiled. “I will forgive you sometime in the future. For now, I’m going to let you work on convincing me you’ll never deceive me again.”
“So I do get a second chance?”
“Yes. Both in life and with me.”
“I’m one lucky bastard.”
Sarah laughed. “You say that now, but you have no idea what I’m going to put you through before I forgive you.”
With a smile, I said, “I’ll t-take it.”
“Can I give you a kiss?”
“Please.”
Leaning over, Sarah tenderly brought her lips to mine. Just when she was going to pull back, I bore the pain to bring my hand up to cup the back of her head. Keeping her in place, I slid my tongue against her lips. When I thrust it inside her mouth, we both moaned.
At that moment, Dima returned with the nurse, which caused Sarah to jerk away. Her face turned the shade of a tomato, which made me laugh.
Sweeping her hands to her hips, Tati blared, “Mr. Korolov, do you want to bust your stitches open?” she asked.
I’d met Tati, or Tatiana, during Dima’s recovery. She didn’t give a shit if he was the future pahkan then, and she didn’t care that I was pahkan now.
“I’m so sorry. I promise to be more cautious,” Sarah apologized.
Glancing between the two of us, Tati said, “You two need to put any sort of fucking out of your mind. It’s going to be a long road to recovery.”
I grimaced more from the pain than the idea of being sexless. “Do you need a pain shot? I grabbed one when Dima came to get me,” Tati asked.
Although I wanted to be tough, I decided to give in. “Yes, p-please.” Turning to Sarah, I said, “I know this is g-going to put me under, and I just woke up.”
She cupped my face with her hand. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”
“For forever?”
She smiled. “If you play your cards right.”
In that moment, I felt like the luckiest fucking bastard in the world. With a wink, I said, “You fucking b-bet I will.”