16. Rival
RIVAL
The Art Of Breaking [Thousand Foot Krutch]
For the entire weekend, I watched to see if Dad used his phone or called Conner. There was no door to my room, so it was convenient to listen to every conversation he had, whether he was watching TV or talking with Mum—someone I haven’t spoken to since Saturday morning.
I clutch my phone as I wait at the bus stop.
This intense drowsiness overwhelms me, and I struggle to keep my eyes from closing.
I barely slept, and when I tried, I thought about what had happened or that I didn’t have any money on my card, and the tears would start pouring out with no sign of stopping.
I hadn’t realised how much I was crying until I felt the swelling puffiness, and when I looked in the mirror, I wiped the foundation across to cover it. However, it didn’t mask the bloodshot eyes, so I hope he says nothing even if Conner notices.
There’s also Andy.
I bite my lip and bow my head. Keep it together, Noya.
Conner’s car pulls up at the bus stop. I grab my bag, and it’s lighter than usual. Luckily, most of my spare books are at school and in the cubbies. Before class starts, I need to duck in there and grab them.
“Hey, uh…Can I ask you something?”
As the door closes, I wonder if I should take the bus to school instead.
“Did you give my number to your dad?”
I avert my gaze. Flashbacks of me clutching the phone like a life force return.
Dad lifted me from the ground and repeatedly slammed me against the tiles because he wanted my phone.
And for a moment, I thought he’d break my fingers to get it, but then I remembered he’d never leave that much of a mark on the surface—at least not in the coherent state.
“It’s okay if you did. I get it. You told me your parents were strict, but…
” Conner furrows his brows. “I wasn’t expecting that much hostility towards someone he has never met before.
” He smirks as he pulls away from the bus stop.
“I mean, I’d like to meet your parents one day after you have finally accepted your feelings for me and—”
“You won’t meet my parents—ever,” I say as I grab at my black-and-white striped shirt dress. I couldn’t wear any of my regular shirts because they smelled of beer. I didn’t want to go to school smelling of the remnants of what happened. “Uh…what did he say to you?”
Conner shrugs as he says, “He asked if you were at my place on Friday night, and I said you were. I apologised and told him my parents were home if he wanted to talk to them and confirm.”
“But I wasn’t at your place.”
“I know…obviously,” he breathes a bitter laugh. “It seemed you didn’t want him to find you, so I lied.”
“Why?”
“That’s what friends do. Or next time, you can actually come to my house. Although when we date, I’d like a little more of a heads-up.”
“Conner, you’re being creepy again,” I state.
“I know, but you’re finally smiling, so I don’t care.”
I touch my lips, a slight smile presenting itself.
“Hungry?” he asks as he enters the McDonald’s drive-through. I reach for my back when I hesitate. I have no money. “My shout.”
“Thank you,” I mumble.
Sitting up, I look out the window. I wonder if I can get another job or even go back and ask them to open another bank account so that I can have a card for emergencies.
That might not be a bad idea.
I’ll go online later to see if I can do it without having someone present with me.
Conner parks and hands me the muffin and a coffee. I drink half before touching the muffin. I need this energy to survive the day.
“Where were you Friday night?” Conner asks cautiously.
“Um…” I press my fingernails into the foam cup, indenting it. “At Andy’s.”
It hurts to say.
Conner moves uncomfortably in his seat. I wish I could tell him I was at the bus stop, but a thousand more questions would pour out of his mouth. I’m not ready for them. So, telling him I was at Andy’s place—someone I hope will help with my lie—is the best I can come up with at short notice.
He’s silent after that, and I wonder if he still wants to be my friend. I won’t blame him if he doesn’t. If I were in this position, I’d think this girl is playing him for a fool. Using him for food and mentally screwing with him.
“Are you finished?” he asks.
I nod as I hand him my rubbish.
When he returns, he takes a deep and almost dramatic breath before turning toward me. “If you date Andy, could you tell me so I’m not pushing his boundaries? I doubt he would be chill with me driving you to school, or singing to you in public—flirting.”
“You flirt?”
“I try,” he says with a grin.
I cover my mouth as I laugh. Conner reverses out of the parking lot, and we make our way towards school.
“I don’t like Andy. He’s my childhood friend, and I can’t deny that there was a time when I thought more of him, but…
” I bite my lower lip, and Conner patiently waits for me to go on.
“He wasn’t there when I needed him the most. He may say he was, but he wasn’t.
And it isn’t like it was his fault. I just needed more from him.
Yet, things didn’t work out, and that’s okay.
I moved on, and my feelings faded for him. ”
“So, I still have a chance?”
“Conner,” I sigh.
He chuckles as he turns up the volume on “The Art Of Breaking” by Thousand Foot Krutch. I added it to my playlist. At this point, I should ask Conner if we can share playlists. I’m sure he won’t mind. It’s more of me revealing all my songs on my playlist as Conner wonders if I’m okay.
Like him, music is a part of my life, and I express my emotions through the songs I listen to. The easiest way for Conner to get to know me is through my playlist. But I’m unsure if I am ready for that sort of commitment.
I sway my head from side to side as Conner signs. His soft, eccentric voice is alluring, and as he looks at me while he sings, it sends butterflies shooting through my stomach. His raised eyebrow and playful smile reveal he knows I like him more than a friend.
Conner enters the school parking lot, and I spot Andy’s car. Wylan and Dylan are with him, and Samantha’s bus stops by the entrance of the school.
I bite my lower lip and look away from him as I leave the car. Conner walks beside me, nudging his chin in Andy’s direction, which I find inappropriate and a little cocky. However, I don’t mind because my thoughts turn to Andy telling Dad about Conner in this instance.
I stop at Block A and tell Conner I need a few things in the art room. He follows, even though Aaron and Finch wave at him and try to call him to where they crowd near the cafeteria.
He then calls out to them and tells them he will see them at recess before following me up the stone stairs.
“What do you need in the classroom?”
“A few books,” I reply vaguely.
After grabbing my books and stuffing them in, we leave when the bell rings. As we step down the stairs, a group of girls walks up them. I move a little over because it seems they don’t budge when I stumble slightly to the side after one girl bumps into me.
I glimpse her brown eyes glaring at me, and a few of her friends snigger. The one who bumped me flicks her glossy black hair over her shoulder and says something snarky I don’t quite catch.
Conner stops walking and looks up the stairs. “Will you be all right heading to class?”
I glance at the girl with her arms folded over her chest, her shirt tucked into her rolled-up skirt, and then at Conner as he glares at her. “Okay,” I reply.
“I’ll see you in Creative Arts,” he announces before he walks back up the stairs. Conner places his hands in his pockets, and his form slouches, which seems uncharacteristically unlike Conner.
I press my lips thinly as I head down the stairs and wonder if Conner has problems he needs to deal with.
Nevertheless, it isn’t anything I need to worry about.
I have issues of my own I need to worry about, as Andy is talking to my dad as if he doesn’t remember the horrible things my dad has done to me.