CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
I CAN STILL FEEL KILLIAN'S tree-trunk sized arms around me and the unfinished bond between us pulsing in frustration. If I could talk to it, I’d tell it to be patient, especially after the haunted look in his eyes when I found him on the training grounds.
I wanted to do nothing but drag him back inside and distract him from all his worries, but between getting my mother settled in her rooms with the healers and meeting all these new faces, and not to mention making sure we are going at a pace he is comfortable with, it’s just not the time.
Stolen touches with him? Yes, perfect. I would do anything he wanted if it meant making sure that haunted expression never came back.
My feet carry me through the familiar hallways by muscle memory.
It’s eerie, almost as if the castle has been stuck in the past of my fledglinghood.
Well, most of it. Some parts you can tell were rebuilt after the fall of my family, though even then, unless you knew what to look for, you wouldn’t even notice.
Like scuffs of burn marks on the stone floor from when we lit sticks on fire and pretended to be fire wielders, and I ended up dropping mine when it got too hot.
Then Jesper dropped his too to help try to put mine out before realizing his caught the curtain on fire—smoke stained a portion of the window before a water elemi discovered and helped us.
We were never able to get it all cleaned up.
But now, it’s been completely rebuilt, and no evidence of that memory exists.
I’m shaken from my reveries by a shout. “Rav! There you are!” Rozen yells from the other side of the hall. “We’ve been looking everywhere for you!”
Ember rolls her eyes. “Don’t be dramatic, it’s only been five minutes.”
Cynder and Lennox follow behind them looking at everything but each other.
A wide smile pulls at my cheeks. “Well you found me. Where did you want to start?”
Rozen’s eyes glow with mischief. “Can we see the armory?”
Ember shakes her head and pinches the bridge of her nose as he elbows her. “Come on, we know you want to see it too, you practically lived in the armory in Vathia and at Phixmery.”
She throws her hands in the air. “Fine, yes, I want to see it, but only because it’s supposed to be the most well-stocked armory in the entire realm!
I’m curious to see if they have any weapons I haven’t been able to get my hands on yet!
” As she continues talking, her voice pitches with more and more excitement and Rozen’s chest puffs out with pride.
“Come on, it’s this way,” I state, nodding in the direction I just came from. A part of me hopes to catch another glimpse of Killian.
Roz and Ember hurry past and I wait for Cynder and Lennox to catch up, falling into line between them. “So,” I start. “Will any of the crew be joining us?” I glance at Cynder and she shakes her head.
“No, Dante and Evander are heading to Derfene to round up the rest of the troops, and Cormac and Thorne are somewhere.”
Lennox scoffs and my brows rise.
“What?” I ask, crossing my arms.
He ignores me and speaks directly to Cynder. “Those males aren’t good for you, you know that, right?”
She stops and spins toward him, her pale pink eyes narrowing on him. “And why is that? And why do you think you even have a say?”
He takes a step toward her and I step back before I’m stuck directly between them. “You do realize they are pirates, right? Thieves?”
“So? They also help fae of all kinds! You don’t even know them, and if you took a second to talk to them instead of judging them, then maybe you wouldn’t be stuck with that Fates-damn stick up your ass!
Or did you forget that they saved me too!
” She doesn’t let him answer and storms off to catch up with the others, leaving Lennox with his jaw on the floor.
He starts to go after her but I grab his arm. “Let her go. What was that about?”
Lennox crosses his arms, sighing, before running his hands through his white and blue-tipped hair. “I have no idea, she just gets under my skin without even trying. I wish Mel was here to talk about this because I’m lost, Rav.”
I give his arm a squeeze. “You have us to talk to. I know we aren’t a replacement for her, but maybe I can help?”
He stares off after Cynder, silent while he thinks. “I feel this pull to her, like I need to keep her safe. I don’t know if it’s because of what happened with Mel, or…”
“Or maybe you like her?” I add, with a soft smile.
His throat bobs and he gives a single jerky nod.
“Well, if you want my advice. Get to know the other males. They have a brotherly bond, and it’s obvious she feels strongly for them.” His shoulders droop in defeat. “But that doesn’t mean that maybe she doesn’t also share those feelings for you. I mean, look at me, I have four fated mates.”
“But we don’t have a bond like that. What if she doesn’t? What if this only hurts more in the end?” he whispers.
“Plenty of other fae choose multiple partners, Lennox, and if you don’t put yourself out there, if you don’t take that chance and put your heart on the line and risk the pain, then you might miss out on something amazingly life-altering and beautiful.
Just, lay off her for a bit and maybe talk to Evander’s crew.
Aemon says they’re trustworthy, and Talyn wouldn’t have trusted them to rescue her if there was any risk,” I add, hoping to ease his mind.
He watches me for a moment as he cracks his jaw and the muscle in his cheek pulses. “Okay,” he mutters in a mix of defeat and hope. “Thank you. I’m sorry, I know she’s your sister—”
I put a hand up stopping him. “We didn’t grow up together, and I just want to see all of you happy, including her. But I will kick your ass if you hurt her.”
He laughs. “I don’t doubt that you will. That’s one thing I like about you, Rav. You protect what’s yours, no matter the cost.”
I smile. He’s not wrong, but my smile dims as I turn to him. “‘What’s yours’ includes you, Lennox. Are you doing okay? You’ve been distant, and we are getting worried.”
He sighs and gets a distant look in his eyes. “I miss her so much that it’s hard to breathe sometimes. It should be her here and not me.”
“Lennox. You don’t mean that. She would kick your ass if she heard you speaking like that.
” I turn to face him fully and grab his hands.
“ Look at me. You are wanted. You are loved, and as much as I wish Mel was still here, I would never trade either of you. You both should be here, and if you keep thinking like that you will fall into a world of despair and anger. Trust me, I would know. Don’t pull away from us, please. ”
He nods but stays silent, almost as if he doesn’t believe me. “Thanks Rav. We should catch up with the others.”
“I mean it. We are here for you. Even if you just want someone to sit in the silence with.”
He squeezes my hands once and then takes off towards the others and my heart hurts for him, but I don’t know how else to help, other than continuing to be there for him.
WE CATCH UP with the others and Ember is right, the armory is enormous.
Swords of all shapes and sizes line the walls, shining with obvious care.
There’s everything a warrior could ever want in this room.
I honestly forgot about it. My fathers never let me come in here, they were always worried I would end up hurting myself.
Nero eyes all the weapons in awe, and I’m sure if he could, he would be brandishing a dual-spiked mace just like Rozen is now. “Oh, I want to learn how to wield this!” he mutters in excitement as he accidentally lets go mid swing and it knocks over an armored statue.
“Or maybe not,” Ember states, teasing him. “Looks like you need to work on your technique.”
He smirks. “You weren’t saying that last night when—”
She covers his mouth, turning a bright shade of red. “Rozen Stoll!” she hisses.
Laugher echoes in the room and Roz pulls her in for a kiss. “You adore me, just admit it.”
“Yeah, I do; for some reason I like you.”
He stops, eyes wide as he cups her face and I smile, looking away to give them a sense of privacy.
“You can look away Rav, but I’ve been waiting ages for this to happen and now I have a front row seat!” Nero states, spinning on my shoulder.
“You do? You do realize you just said that in front of all our friends, right? Rav, can you slap me? Am I dreaming?” he shouts.
“Of course, you oaf—”
She’s cut off and I’m grinning, working my way deeper into the armory with Lennox and Cynder, who are still avoiding each other.
There’s so much here that we could easily arm a whole division and still have more to spare.
Cynder’s voice knocks me out of my thoughts. “Hey, Ravina, do you know what’s behind this door?”
I round the corner and see a grand entry, beautifully arched in pale stone with an inscription written in the same language as on the door at Phixmery. “No, I have no idea.”
She tries the handle. “It’s locked, do you have the keys?”
I shake my head. “No, Killian might; and if not, I might know who would.”
Cynder grins widely. “That’s no problem. Do you give me permission to open it?”
Confusion and curiosity dance through me. “I mean, this is your home too, so you don’t need my permission—just don’t damage it.”
She nods and pulls out two skinny metal rods and inserts them into the lock, jimmying them around until an audible click sounds.
“Ah ha! Take that Thorne,” she mutters under her breath, straightening with a triumphant grin as she pushes the large dark oak doors open.
“Wow, I didn’t know you knew how to lock pick,” I state, impressed. “You need to show me how to do that.”
Her cheeks turn crimson. “Thorne taught me actually, on the way to Vathia. I would love to teach you though.”
Lennox clears his throat, with his brows raised. “Are we going to go in or stand about waiting for death to take us?”
I shake my head and make my way into the dark room. The air smells stale and dusty, and it’s so dark I can barely make out shadows. I strike my belt with my ring and a flame erupts to life in my palm. A gasp leaves my lips as I realize what stands before me.
Swiftly, I light the torches illuminating the circular room, and along the far side are five sets of the most gorgeous armor I have ever seen, and right in the center is my mother’s.
Or at least I assume it’s hers based on the breastplate having curves meant for a female figure.
Each set of armor looks to be made of dragonstone, and despite the name making them sound heavy, they’re light when I dare to touch one.
It’s metal, forged with magick, silver and shadowfire from a dragon’s breath, like our dragonstone daggers.
The edges of the suit are rimmed with silver plating. It’s magnificent.
Vasari’s voice chimes and I know she’s seeing what I am. “My mother must have helped forge them. That is armor fit for a queen,” she states with a stern wonder, awed even.
“She did a beautiful job, if she did. Who knows how long these have been here.” I step closer, running my hand along the metal.
“Looks like there’s one for each one of your mates,” Lennox murmurs.
Nero chirps. “They might have to make adjustments for your giant mate.”
“Where are you guys?” I hear Rozen call out.
“In here!” I yell back.
Rozen and Ember enter the room with a wide grin and slightly disheveled hair. “She said yes! Ember is officially my mate! Woah… what is this place?”
I gasp and grab them both, pulling them into a hug. “I’ve been waiting so long for this! The tension between you two was almost suffocating!” I laugh, squeezing them both as they hug me back and Ember actually giggles.
“I should get them a mating gift… Maybe an eyeball of their own so they can start their own collection,” Nero states, nodding his head.
I cross my arms. “We never got a mating gift from you,” I tease.
He caws, nipping my ear. “They get to have me in their life… keeping them on their toes and threatening them. That’s all they need from me,” he sasses.
After some more congratulations I clear my throat, turning back to our discovery.
“I think this is where my parents stored their battle armor, or maybe it’s ceremonial?
I’m not sure, but it’s stunning.” I say, turning to admire it again.
“Maybe I can find out more. I’m sure they have some information somewhere in the castle.
Cyn, do you think you can lock the door back up? ”
She turns sheepish. “Unfortuntly, I can only unlock the door.”
“That’s okay, I’m sure it will be fine. Alright, now that we’ve seen the armory, let me show you one of my favourite views from the castle. It overlooks the Nairiden Woods.” We turn to leave, but I can’t help one more glance at the suits before shutting the door firmly behind me.