Chapter 10
Ten
Beibhinn
The Present
Years of love have been forgot, in the hatred of a minute.
—Edgar Allan Poe
I stare down at the key in my hand as Cadden peers out the little slit-shaped window next to the doorway. “There are things I can’t change, believe me, if I could, I would. Edgar Allan Poe once said, ‘Years of love have been forgot, in the hatred of a minute. ’ Time’s up for us, B. Your minute starts now.”
My brows furrow as he turns his back to me. “That’s it? You’re departing the conversation with some ridiculous poetry line disguised as a riddle?”
His gaze sweeps over his shoulder, his heterochromatic eyes holding me in place. “I can’t protect you from the truth. It was only a matter of time before he came for you.” His head juts towards the window, pointing out the blue Mustang I can now see eating up the dirt laneway that leads towards the lighthouse.
Liam. How the fuck did he get here so fast? It’s been less than thirty minutes since I texted the group chat. He must have already been on his way.
“What are you waiting for, Beibhinn?” Cadden tosses his hand towards the door as he steps onto the first rung of the ladder. “The cavalry has arrived. It’s time for you to face the reality of your fiancé’s actions.”
It’s moments like this I wish I could read his mind, because although there is an air of arrogance to his words, I can see the turmoil haunting his features. What could he have possibly done to make me hate him as much as he thinks I will?
Behind my ribcage, my heart pounds against my chest, and for the first time in my life, I feel rattled by what the truth holds. “What are you hiding?”
Judging by the look on his face, I don’t know what would be worse: hearing what I want to hear, or hearing what’s honest.
Unfortunately, Cadden chooses to remain cryptic and delivers another half-truth. “A Devereux heir, it would seem.” Pulling his gaze from mine, he tips his chin to his chest. “Just go, B. Please.”
Tears sting my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. Isn’t this what I wanted? An escape.
Why the hell does it feel like the opposite? For some reason, it’s like I’m leaving half of my heart in Cadden’s possession, and if his demeanour is anything to go by, there is a strong chance I’ll never get it back.
Swiping a tear from the corner of my eye with my knuckle, I track Cadden as he climbs the ladder before disappearing into his sanctuary without a backward glance.
I need to leave, go back to Killybegs and make sure everyone I love is okay. But there’s a piece of me, the part that belongs to Cadden that wants to follow him and figure out what the hell he’s hiding from me. Something is not right. His retreat has my guts twisted into knots. Not once, in all the years Cadden and I have played this game, have I ever seen him look this defeated. This broken.
What can I do, though? He won’t share his demons with me. Too scared to let me sneak a peek at the man behind the mask in case I don’t like what I see. Peering down at the slogan stretched across the T-shirt I’m wearing, a huffed laugh gets trapped in the base of my throat. Tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyway.
What a load of horse manure!
Bringing my gaze back to my hand, I focus on the freedom I hold in my palm. My tongue swipes at my bottom lip as my head rages against my emotions. Too many times I’ve allowed my heart to rule where Cadden is concerned, so for once I need to follow the dread poisoning my gut.
I close my eyes, and draw in a deep breath, hoping to find the courage I need to make the right choice. Before I can talk myself out of it, I gather my belongings off the floor, place the key in the lock, and twist. The old door cracks open with a clunk that ricochets around the library. Then, after throwing one final glance over my shoulder, I take the first step down the spiral staircase, leaving the boy who held me captive behind. The truth is mine to find, here’s hoping I don’t lose my once-in-a-lifetime while I search for it.
As I descend the stairs, half of me expects Cadden to follow, but he doesn’t. With a heavy heart, I continue towards freedom, to the one person who can hold me together—my twin brother.
Once I’m at the tower’s base, I pause, questioning my choice again. Am I doing the right thing, walking away without pushing him to give me more of an explanation?
As the roar of Liam’s engine draws closer, I don’t allow my thoughts to linger on my decision. Instead, I focus on what my protective big brother will have to say about me standing here, nearly naked, in nothing but my fiancé’s tee. Fuck knows he won’t be pleased by my walk of shame.
Wrapping my finger around the iron handle, I push the metal door open just in time to see my brother’s Mustang pull through the gateway before coming to a swift halt next to Cadden’s El Diablo.
My arms circle my waist, erecting a shield, ready for the lecture Liam is sure to deliver when he finds out I lied about my whereabouts.
As the door pushes open, I wait with bated breath. The first thing I see is the soles of black army boots meeting the cobbles, and instantly, my hackles rise. Liam doesn’t wear those boots, but I know who does. Time moves in slow motion as a body folds out of the driver-side. My mouth dries as I swallow back the sinking feeling clawing at my skin. "Why are you driving Liam’s car?” The question bursts past my lips as my hands begin to shake. “Where’s my brother?"
Ignoring my question, Rohan slams the door behind him before he stalks towards me. His inky black hair is tossed, almost as though he’s spent the drive tugging at it. But it’s the look of murder shining from his emerald-green eyes that has me wanting to crawl back inside and hide. "Get in the car, B.” There is an edge to his command that would cut glass, and it slices through my chest, sending a blade of panic down my spine.
My eyes ping-pong between Rohan and the lighthouse he’s closing in on. “What the fuck is going on?” My heart gallops wildly, needing someone, fucking anyone to explain what the hell is happening. “Where the fuck is my brother?”
Everyone knows Liam and Rohan don’t see eye-to-eye, and although they’ve been working on their differences for Saoirse’s sake, they’re a long way from being friends. So that’s why it makes me nervous as to why the hell my cousin has driven my brother’s prized possession halfway across the country. Liam barely lets me drive his baby. There is no way he’d willingly give it to Rohan. Not only that, Liam wouldn’t sit still if there was a rescue Beibhinn mission. He’d be the first one to come find me.
For the most part, Rohan and I have a good relationship, as far as cousins go, but him being here without Liam, or even Aodhán, screams something’s wrong. Panic grips my chest, and my skin erupts into goose bumps. There are only two reasons Liam wouldn’t be here, and neither of those reasons are ones I want to dive deep into.
I’ve known since I woke that something wasn’t right, but I’ve been ignoring it, not wanting to think the worst.
Stepping in front of Rohan, I cut him off. “Stop fucking ignoring me and tell me where Liam is!” The look he gives me makes my heart sink into my stomach. Blood rushes to my ears, and my pulse echoes a frantic beat. My belongings fall to the cobblestone in slow motion as my mind races with thoughts I’ve been ignoring.
Flashes of the explosion licking across the tree-line; the panic in my brother’s voice when I finally answered his call; the command he gave me to stay at home; and lastly, the lie I told him when I said I was tucked safely into bed when in reality, I was too busy screwing Cadden on the side of the road.
"Where?” I demand, reaching out and gripping his arms. “Why isn’t my brother with you?”
Shrugging me off, Rohan’s emerald eyes darken. His chest rises with an inhale. “I said”—he breathes out—“get in the fucking car, Beibhinn.”
Before I can stop him, he pushes past me and pulls a gun from the waistband of his jeans, heading straight towards the lighthouse entrance. “Your fiancé and I need to have a little chat.”
I know he told me to get in the car, but I’ve never been one to follow orders, especially from a man. So, I do the only logical thing I can think of. I go after him, hoping to get the answers I need, all while praying they are nothing like what I am imagining them to be.
I’m too busy trailing up the stairs behind Rohan to notice the dark shadow in the library doorway. It isn’t until Rohan comes to a halt, gun raised, that my eyes peer over his shoulder and lock on the darkened hues of Cadden’s dual-toned blues.
Arms folded across his chest, he holds a glass of whiskey in one hand as though he hasn’t a care in the world. I barely recognise the man before me—even though I’ve spent most of the weekend tied to his bed. He’s stoic, void of any and all emotion, including the ones that were so clearly written across his features mere minutes before when he begged me to leave.
I can count on two hands the times I’ve met this version of Cadden—the king his father moulded him to be—and every time, I’ve hated the facade crafted by the role he has to play as the future ruler of his kingdom by the sea.
“Well, well. If it isn’t Rohan King.” A smug smile tilts his lips, curling the edges to a wicked sneer of arrogance. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” Cadden turns on his heel, seemingly unfazed by the barrel of the gun pointed straight at him. Tossing a glance over his shoulder, he steps towards his reading chair and lowers himself into it before bringing his liquor to his lips.
The room remains silent while Cadden throws back the remains of his drink. He places the glass on a small side table next to him then shifts his gaze back to Rohan and I. “Apologies for the mess. I wasn’t expecting company. If I had known you were popping by, I would’ve tidied up… or moved.” His eyes flick towards me, holding my gaze. Behind his shades of blue, I see the boy he’s hiding staring back at me. A complete contrast to the demeanour directed at my cousin.
Rohan steps forward, posture poised as his steady hand remains firmly gripped around the butt of his gun. My hand settles on his shoulder, tugging him back. “Stop. Please, Rohan.” A tightness stretches across my chest as my eyes ping-pong between my cousin and the man I hate to love. “Put the gun down, Rohan. Please.”
Rohan keeps his gaze trained on Cadden, staring a hole into his head. “Trust me, B. If you knew what he did, you’d be holding this gun yourself.”
“Tell me then,” I cry out. “Tell me what is going on.”
“I won’t be held responsible for breaking you, Beibhinn.”
My attention swings back to Cadden, and my plea ripples from my chest. “What the fuck is he talking about, Cadden?”
Cadden’s eyes close for a split second, before his walls rise and his mask is set in place once again. As a tear slips down my cheek, I spy the stone-faced future Munster king, and my breath hitches in my throat. “What happened?”
Pushing from his chair, Cadden crosses the room, stepping into the barrel of Rohan’s gun. His eyes lock onto Rohan’s before they finally find me. I see him trace the tears rolling down my face, and he swallows. “I was with you all weekend. I had nothing to do with it.”
Rohan’s jaw tightens. “Convenient, right? Killybegs explodes into flames, and the syndicate’s personal bomb-maker is nowhere near the crime. He even has an alibi.”
The world stops spinning as I watch the blood drain from Cadden’s face. Craning my neck, I peer over my shoulder at Rohan and narrow my eyes. “Personal bomb-maker?”
“You didn’t know, did you? Seems as though the boy genius forgot to fill his future wife in on his extra-curricular activities.”
“Watch it, King,” Cadden grits through clenched teeth.
My jaw tightens as I replay the entirety of my relationship with Cadden. When we’re together, we avoid talking about the syndicate and the roles we play within it. I’ve always assumed he was training in weapon trading. But bombs, he never mentioned anything about them, ever. Especially, that he was fucking making them.
Snapping my attention back to Cadden, I see the turmoil coiling his features, but I ignore it, searching for the answers I deserve to hear. “You make bombs for the syndicate?”
His teeth sink into his bottom lip as a coat of sadness washes over his eyes, but he holds his tongue. My hands slam against his chest. “Answer me.”
He gives me a stiff nod in response, his eyes closing as his chin dips.
Pieces of the puzzle start to fit together: Cadden insisted we leave Saoirse’s party. Visions of him screaming at me to get back into the car after Liam’s phone call, the needle in my neck when I told him I was going back to the castle after I saw the sky erupt into flames.
It hits me like a freight train. He knew that the bomb was going to go off, and he made sure neither of us was there when it did.
Anger like I’ve never felt before takes over, racing through my veins like liquid lightning. My fists pound against his chest. “You knew. You put that bomb there, knowing people could get hurt. Then you said nothing, did nothing to warn anyone.”
“I didn’t.” He shakes his head. “Beibhinn, you have to believe me. I swear, I didn’t plant that bomb.”
“But you made it.” Rohan’s statement is clipped, full of malice as he wraps his free hand around my waist to pull me away from Cadden.
Cadden makes no move to stop Rohan. Instead, he remains still, eyes pleading with me to believe him. His gaze stays locked on mine, but I ignore the sadness whirling in their depths. “How could you? People could’ve been seriously injured, or worse, killed.”
The arm Rohan has around my waist stiffens at my words, and a wave of dread washes through me. My breath halts, lodging in my throat when I realise the reality Cadden’s sheltered me from. Tears prick my eyes as I focus on the man before me.
“Who?” The question whispers past my lips, but I fear I already know the answer. My body shakes as I watch Cadden step towards me, regret twisting his every feature.
“I’m sorry, Beibhinn. I swear I didn’t know until it was too late. He was already gone. Please. Please believe me.”
He reaches for me, but Rohan’s hold on me tightens as he pulls me back a step, not allowing Cadden to make contact. Rearing forward, I thrash in Rohan’s grip as tears streak my cheeks, my entire body jerking with the force of them. The roar that escapes me rattles my bones. I need my thoughts confirmed. I need him to tell me the truth I already know. “WHO?”
Cadden’s jaw tightens as he closes his eyes and tips his chin towards the ceiling. When he brings his gaze to mine, I watch as a tear stains his cheek. The tip of his tongue swipes it from the corner of his mouth. Unable to look at me, he drops his gaze to the floor.
“Tell her!” Rohan pushes.
Finally, Cadden lifts his gaze, then shatters me to pieces. “There was a bomb under the driver's seat of Rohan’s car, and when it went off”—he pauses, his entire body shaking as he chokes out the words trapped in his throat—“Liam was the one behind the wheel.”
All the air sweeps from my lungs and the room spins. My legs buckle beneath me, and I drop to the floor. Rohan comes with me, keeping his arms around me, holding me as best he can while I fall apart. The cry that rips from my soul tears me in two. I’m gasping, body shuddering with the weight of the truth. My skin crawls as the blood drains from my veins.
Next to me, Cadden falls to his knees, reaching for me.
“Don’t touch me.”
“Please, look at me, B. I swear, I didn’t know.”
Burying my head in Rohan’s neck, I beg. “Get me out of here. Please. I can’t. I can’t be here.” Each word is trapped behind a gasp as I fight to fill my lungs.
Rohan lifts me into his arms and rises to his feet. I don’t look back at Cadden while I’m carried through the doorway. Still wrapped around Rohan, I fight against the grief tearing me apart from the inside out.
Before we descend the stairs, he halts, throwing his gaze over his shoulder. “There is only one reason you’re still breathing.”
Lifting my eyes from the safety of Rohan’s neck, I glance at Cadden as he remains on his knees. Tears stain his cheeks, and his eyes remain locked on me as he responds to Rohan. “Why is that?”
There is no hesitation in Rohan’s voice. “Because the second her heart stops breaking, she will end you herself. You’ve taken enough from her, she deserves at least that.”