Chapter 19
Nineteen
Cadden
The Past
In shadows deep, a lie we keep,
A secret we can’t tell.
But like Poe's dark tales of love and war,
I’m bound to her forevermore.
—Cadden James Connelly
The sun dips low on the horizon as Brodie, Lucas, and I cycle our bikes uphill toward the Connelly estate after a long day of slaving at my dad’s warehouse. Every muscle in my body aches, exhausted from the mind-numbing and laborious hours spent unloading countless narcotic shipments before refilling every container with a backload as payment.
Much like every Saturday, the weight of the day clings to me like a dark shadow. The last thing I want to be doing is entertaining these two arseholes I call my best friends. Alas, neither of them took notice when I said I wanted to chill out tonight, preferably without them loitering around like a potent smell. Unfortunately, Lucas refused to let me hide away in the solitude of my sanctuary, instead following me home after not taking no for an answer.
“Come on, man. You’ve been holed up in your lighthouse all summer. What is it about this girl that has you wrapped around her finger? School starts back in a few days, and we’ve barely seen you since the party. And that was months ago.” Lucas thinks I don’t know what he’s doing, but all fucking day he’s harped on and on, ribbing me about Beibhinn and how I’ve blown them off all summer long. Maybe he’s right, but the truth is I don’t care. Beibhinn and I only have two days left before she’s set to head back to Killybegs, and fucked if I’m wasting a second of the time I have left with her placating these two fools.
I’m aware my friends have had enough of me sneaking off to hang out with my Pretty Poison, but behaving like petulant children, won’t get them anywhere. If anything, it makes me want to avoid them more.
“She doesn’t have me wrapped around anything. Like it or not, she’s gonna be a part of my life. I have to put up with her for a couple more days, then she’s heading back to Killybegs for school.”
Only Brodie knows my true feelings for the Devereux heiress. Lucas thinks I’m hanging out with her to appease my dad, and honestly, I’d like to keep it that way. Sure, he’s one of my best friends, but the less people who know about Beibhinn and me, the better. After our meeting with Finn and Oliver, Beibhinn and I decided we can’t risk our fathers finding out, so with the exception of Brodie and Beibhinn’s brother, everyone is under the impression we still hate each other. Craning my neck, I peer at Lucas from the corner of my eye and flash him a teasing smile, deflecting away from my true feelings about Beibhinn leaving.
“So,” Lucas pants as he accelerates, forcing his bike to stay with mine as we tackle the steep hill. “What’s going on with you and the Killybegs hellcat, anyway? You know Meila is still pissed that you blew her off at the party, right?”
Choosing to avoid his question about Beibhinn, I pick the safer route. “I couldn’t give two fucks about Meila or what she thinks. She knows as well as I do she was never going to be anything more than a distraction. It’s why she was so hell-fucking-bent on trying to sleep with me.”
“I still don’t know why you don’t,” Lucas interjects. “Sure she’s a melt, but she’s more than willing.” He tosses a look my way, wiggling his brows.
“I’d rather chew on nettles. Besides, she’s had more loads in her than my mother’s washing machine. Forgive me if she’s lost her appeal.”
As we round the last bend, I’m instantly reminded of why I’ve been so eager to get back to the estate. Alone.
A little further up the path, crouched on the ledge of the wall that edges the estate’s entrance, slingshot in hand, is the girl who has monopolised every part of my brain this summer. As much as I tell myself I shouldn’t fall for her, deep down I know there is no way I can stop the inevitable. My heart’s trajectory is set, and it’s pointed straight at Beibhinn Devereux.
Before I can register my actions, the tires of my bike lock, crushing against the hardcore laneway as I squeeze the brakes and halt in place, desperate to catch a glimpse of her before she notices she has company. Thankfully, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, follow my lead and come to a stop on either side of me.
“What the fuck is she doing up there? That’s a ten-foot wall.” Lucas follows my gaze, noticing the little pixie trapped in concentration, eyes narrowed on her target.
“Shut up!” I hush, my attention fixated on the determined look on Beibhinn’s face, drawing me into her orbit like a moth to a flame. Holding her focus on her target, she stretches back the bands and releases fire. The horse chestnut cuts through the air with rapid precision before connecting with her desired target. The tin of the Coke can crumples, echoing through the silence, and even though we are more than a few metres away, I see the grin split across her face as her chest puffs with satisfaction.
Like three gobshites, we hold our places as she reloads her sling and moves on to the next target. Once again, her aim never wavers, followed by the executing clank of the chestnut meeting its mark. She knocks each one off the opposite wall with the ease of a professional sniper while we watch on like soundless idiots until all twelve cans are lying on the ground.
Spotting our trio, she jumps off the wall and lands on her feet like a cat. Glacier eyes home in on me, and before I know it, I’m locked in her stare. She’s mesmerising, with her white-blonde hair standing out against the fading daylight, a complete contrast to her all-black attire of Doc Marten boots, ripped jeans, and a cropped, sleeveless Thin Lizzy band tee that shows off the diamond decorating her navel.
“Well, well, well. If it isn’t the three musketeers out for a romantic bike ride.” Her voice carries a hint of playful banter and her lips curl into a teasing smile. She takes each step with ease, stowing her slingshot in the back pocket of her jeans as she stalks towards us, eyes shining with mischief. Swiping her backpack off the ground, she hooks it over her shoulder.
Brodie’s elbow greets my ribcage, knocking me out of my trance as he mutters under his breath, “Unless you want Lucas to catch on, close your mouth. You’ve drool on your chin.”
Keeping my gaze trained on Beibhinn, I grit out my response under my breath. “Fuck off.”
“That’s some shot you have, Queen B,” Brodie announces, stealing Beibhinn’s attention. “You’re almost as good as Ace.” He hitches his thumb towards me, connecting me to the stupid nickname he gave me when I took all his father’s money the night he taught us how to play poker.
Her gaze whips back to me, her brow raised. Her eyes burn with excitement. “Is that so?”
Unbeknownst to him, Brodie provoked Beibhinn’s competitive side, and if I’ve learned anything about the girl I’ve spent the summer falling for, there’s nothing she loves more than sticking it to the man by proving she can outdo any one of us, me included.
“Wanna test that theory, Ace?” Her mouth tilts into a smirk as the name Brodie called me slithers off her tongue with challenge curled around it.
“Maybe some other time, princess,” Lucas chimes in. “We have plans, and they don’t involve you.”
My bones rattle with annoyance, but it’s Brodie who responds for me. “Fuck off, Luc. If she wants to hang out with us, she can.”
“Whatever. A sniff of a pussy and you two go stupid.” He kicks up his bike stand and takes off toward the lighthouse, halting before reaching the top of the hill a few feet from us.
Brodie’s eyes follow Lucas before he draws them back to me. Uncertainty lingers in his irises. “Go after him. I’ll follow you in a few minutes.”
With a tip of his chin, he lifts his foot to the pedal, but before he cycles off after Lucas, he offers Beibhinn a small smile. “Don’t mind him, Queen B. He’s just pissed Cadden would rather hang out with you than stroke his ego.”
“What about you?” she asks. “Are you pissed at me for stealing your friend for the summer?”
His eyes scan her from head to toe. My fingers tighten around the handles of my bike, knuckles turning white as I clench my teeth, biting back the taste of jealousy lingering on my tongue.
“Nah, B. Unlike Lucas, I see the appeal.” With that statement, he pushes off the ground and cycles off. When he tosses a glance over his shoulder, I spy the shit-eating grin stretched across his face. Fucker knows well he struck a chord.
As Lucas and Brodie head off towards the lighthouse, I hop off my bike and close the distance between Beibhinn and me.
“I’m surprised you didn’t shoot Lucas in the arse with that slingshot of yours.” I shove my hands into my pockets and roll my shoulders forward.
“Only in my head.” Her playful demeanour softens, revealing a vulnerability that tightens my chest. She rolls her eyes, unwilling to leave her emotions on display. Then she turns away and walks towards the grass verge while I keep my greedy gaze on her.
Coming to a halt, she tugs the shoulder straps of her backpack, removing her bag before she lowers herself down and criss-crosses her legs. She pats the space next to her, and I follow her lead, moving to take a seat. Tilting my head towards hers, I ask, “Did you get up to anything much today? Other than practising your aim on poor, unsuspecting Coke cans.”
Once again, she tosses her eyes back with a slight shake of her head. “Actually, while you were off doing whatever it is you do when you disappear every Saturday, I had your mam drop me in town to pick up something for you.”
I still haven’t told Beibhinn about my role in my father’s empire, and although she knows quite a bit about the syndicate and the life that comes with it, I haven’t figured out the best way to let her know that the guy she’s spent the last few months getting to know makes explosive devices in his spare time. So instead, I steer the conversation away from my whereabouts and focus on what she picked up while she was in town. “Really? For me?”
Drawing her backpack into her lap, she flips open the leather flap and pulls out what looks like a book wrapped in discreet brown paper.
My curiosity piques, and my eyes narrow onto the gift before flicking back to her face. Shy isn’t a word I’d ever use to describe Beibhinn, but right now, the slight pink tinge pinching her cheeks and the uncertainty tightening her lips make me believe she is exactly that.
Her eyes lock onto mine as she holds out the parcel with a shaky hand. “I know it won’t make up for what I destroyed, but it’s a start.”
Unwrapping the package, my breath catches as I reveal a pristine 1852 first edition, green and gold leather-bound copy of The Poetical Works of Edgar Allan Poe .
The intricate details and weight of its history leaves me speechless. Carefully, I tease open the cover and lift the book to my nose. Closing my eyes, I draw in a breath. The sweet vanilla scent is wrapped in the bitter woody notes of almond coffee and ageing paper, and it floods my senses. It’s one of my most favourite smells in the world, and it instantly calms my racing mind.
Lifting my gaze to Beibhinn, our eyes lock, and in that moment, with the fading sun framing her profile like a glowing halo, I realise something—I’m no longer falling in love with Pretty Poison, I’ve already reached my destination. In the words of my favourite poet, I fell violently on my face.
She placed this book in my hands, and in return, I placed my heart in hers. Once again, I find myself wishing I could spend the day with her, but if we’re to keep up with our facade, I know it’s a bad idea.
As if reading my thoughts, she gives me an out. “Go hang with your friends, Cadden. But keep tomorrow free, okay? It’s my last night here, and I want it to be just us.”
I agree with a tip of my chin before climbing back onto my bike.
Then, I spend the rest of the day thinking up ways to make Beibhinn’s last night one she’ll never forget.