Chapter 22
Twenty-Two
Cadden
The Past
And now, in the halls of my heart, she does reign A queen of beauty, a princess of pain For love, like a rose, has its thorns and its grace And in her embrace, I find my soul’s place.
—Cadden James Connelly
As I lead Beibhinn up the winding staircase of my lighthouse, anticipation swirls in the pit of my stomach. The air around us is thick with the scent of salt and sea, creating a backdrop to the moment I’ve spent the last few days meticulously planning.
Over my shoulder, I steal a glance at Beibhinn, loving how her icy eyes reflect against the flickering light of the candles I have strategically placed along the edge of the spiral staircase that circles the lower floors of my lighthouse.
She’s quiet tonight, and her lips are curled into a sweet shy smile. Although I love seeing this side of Beibhinn—the reserved, uncertain teenager—it is foreign to me. Deep down, it makes me miss the snarky tilt to her mouth that’s normally there. I’ve become accustomed to her bite of sass, so seeing her nervous is a little unsettling because it makes her harder to read.
With every step, my heart picks up pace, terrified of the thoughts racing around her head. At the beginning of the summer, I never would’ve thought I’d be so far gone for the girl with the bad attitude. But now I can’t imagine my life without her in it. Knowing she’s heading back to Killybegs tomorrow makes me feel things I never thought I’d feel, which is why I’ve decided to make the most of every moment we have left.
Once we reach the top of the concrete stairs, the library finally comes into view. The glow of a million fairy lights surrounds the space, illuminating the room in a romantic glow. Looking at the open space now, there’s a possibility I went a little overboard. I hold my breath and wait for her reaction. When she says nothing, I chance a peek over my shoulder.
Her wide blue eyes capture all my attention until, finally, she expresses her thoughts aloud. “Oh, wow. This is gorgeous.” Her gaze flickers around the space, taking in every square inch. “When did you do all this?”
I shrug my shoulders, not wanting to let on that it took me all day to set this up. Especially when it’s not our final destination.
“There’s more,” I tell her as I take her hand in mine and guide her across the room towards the ladder that leads to the space I’ve turned into my second bedroom. “After you.”
“Wait!” Her eyes narrow. “We’re not staying here?” Confusion weighs down her brows. “What are you hiding, Beast?”
“Trust me?” It’s supposed to be a statement, but it barrels past my lips with an edge of uncertainty that poses it as a question. As my hold tightens on her hand, my gaze lock on hers and I try again. “Trust me.”
Over the last few months, I’ve learned so much about the girl I’m destined to marry. Trust is not a gift she gives freely. It comes with a price and can only be obtained by earning it. So I wait patiently until she offers me a slight dip of her chin.
She drops my hand, releasing a breath. Then, she steps forward and places the sole of her Doc Marten on the first rung of the ladder. Finally, she whips her gaze over her shoulder. “Don’t make me regret this.”
Some moments are pivotal, even the smallest glimpses in time can change the course of a life. Silly as it sounds, I know I will never forget this one or the cautious look in Beibhinn’s eyes as she hands me the first piece of her heart and silently asks me not to break it.
Reassuring her, I offer her a sweet smile. “Never ever after.”
Finally, she pulls her gaze from mine and climbs the ladder. With every step she takes, my attention stays on her arse, loving the way her black leather mini skirt hugs every curve.
Lost in my perusal, I almost miss the look she tosses over her shoulder when she spies me staring, but when I see the hitch of her brow, I chuckle. “Sorry.”
As her brow disappears beneath her bangs, she quips, “Liar! No, you’re not.”
A deep chuckle rattles my chest, but when we reach the top, Beibhinn gasps, and once again, the nerves still my breath.
“Cadden, this is…” Her voice trails off as I inch farther into the space, taking up residence in the spot next to her.
The circular room is barely recognisable. It still showcases the foundation of rough-hewn stone walls, and the large windows lining the perimeter offer panoramic views of the crashing waves below and the starry night sky above. But even still , the additional things I’ve added to make tonight special can’t be missed.
My heart thumps wildly in my chest. Nervous of her reaction, my eyes follow hers as she takes in the sea of crimson roses carpeting the floor. The delicate petals are soft against the cool wooden surface, turning my haven into a romantic getaway just for us. I watch in awe as Beibhinn closes her eyes and pulls in a breath through her nose, savouring the heady scent of fresh blooms perfuming the air. The sweet aroma mingles with the salty tang of the sea breeze drifting in through the small opening of the clerestory windows, and just like the girl next to me, it’s intoxicating.
Finally, Beibhinn opens her eyes. Her gaze drops to the little ledge that rims the short wall where more flickering candles cast a warm, the golden hue against the darkness seeping through the windows. In the centre of the room, my double bed is decorated with plush cushions and soft blankets while overhead, a projector hangs from a hook in the glass ceiling. It casts the paused opening credits of Beauty and the Beast onto a large white sheet acting as a movie screen that I’ve hung up.
Once again, I find myself shifting on the balls of my feet. I shove my hands into my pockets and roll my shoulders forward. “Umm…” I hesitate, wondering if I went a little overboard trying to impress her. “I figured since you read my book, maybe we could watch your movie?” My voice is unrecognisable, dampened by nerves. But then she shoots me with a wide smile that stops my heart.
Without hesitation, she crosses the space and climbs onto the bed. Once she’s settled between the pile of cushions, she scooches back towards the headboard. Her eyes fixate on me as her mouth scrunches into a thoughtful expression. “Tell me you have snacks?”
Instantly, all my nerves dissipate, and I tip my chin towards the locker next to the bed. “There’s a stash in there. I have buttered popcorn, Galaxy Minstrels, Malteasers, and a few cans of Coke Zero.”
She curls her lips as she tilts her head to the side. “Can I pour the Minstrels and Malteasers into the popcorn?”
“You can do whatever you like, Beauty.”
A wicked smile graces her face, lighting up her eyes. “Oh! You’re gonna regret saying that.”
For two hours, I’ve kept my composure, but each time Beibhinn snuggles against me, I get closer to my breaking point. Somewhere during the movie, her hand crept under the hem of my T-shirt, and she’s been drawing lazy circles on my stomach ever since. There’s less than ten minutes left before the credits roll, and I am doing everything in my power to remain rooted to the mattress.
Her wild blonde hair splays across my chest, filling my nose with the apple fragrance of her shampoo. It’s driving me insane. Shifting slightly, I do my best to readjust myself without drawing too much attention to the growing bulge beneath my zipper.
Unfortunately, my squirming forces Beibhinn to inch closer, and she throws her leg over mine until she’s pressed up against me like a koala hugging its favourite tree. A groan reverberates against my chest wall when her hand inches lower, and Beibhinn tilts her gaze up, peering at me through the thick veil of her lashes. “What’s wrong?” she asks, blinking with an innocent expression as if she hasn’t been slowly torturing me for the duration of the movie. “Did you not like it?”
My eyes map the freckles on her nose, committing each one to memory. “No, I did. It’s just…” I trail off when she drags her nails down my chest.
“I know it’s different from the book, but you see the appeal, right?”
Overcome with the need to diffuse the tension rolling off me in waves, I opt for humour. “If I’m being honest, I found the singing candle to be a tad unrealistic.”
With a gasp, Beibhinn sits up, pulling her hand from beneath my T-shirt to swat at my chest. “Hey,” she defends, “there will be no Lumière hating. He’s iconic, and you know it.”
“Trust you to favour the fire hazard.”
Suddenly, she bolts forward, and before I can catch my bearings, she’s straddling my waist. Her palms connect with my shoulders, and she pins me to the mattress with a mischievous glint lighting her eyes. “Take it back.”
My lips quirk as I nod my head from side to side. “Not a chance. Lumière hasn’t a patch on Mrs Potts or Chip.”
Her hands slip from my shoulders while the cutest pout I’ve ever seen graces her full lips. There’s a warning in her eyes as she brings her hands to my side, where she knows I am most ticklish. “Take. It. Back.”
Using her disgust as a distraction, I shift my hips and switch our position, rolling us to cage her beneath me. My hands circle her wrists, and I staple them to the bed. Keeping my eyes locked to hers, I lower my head until our lips are a hair’s breadth apart. “I said what I said.”
Beibhinn’s chest rises as she inhales, and I instantly regret my decision to tease her because now I’m harder than fucking steel. Time all but fucking stops as she captures my gaze with fiery eyes that dance with laughter. Fuck, this was a bad idea.
“Cadden.” My name passes her lips with an airy note.
Holding her attention, my hand falls to her bare thigh and slides along her smooth skin.
This isn’t the first time we’ve found ourselves in this position since that night at the stony beach, but it is the first time the air has crackled between us, carrying the weight of something more.
My gaze drops to her mouth, and I watch with eager eyes as her tongue sweeps out and wets her lower lip. Although the movie is still rolling in the background, the only sound I hear is the quickening of her breaths.
Fuck composure. I need her right now.
Before I can talk myself out of it, I lower my mouth to hers and follow the trail her tongue just made. The kiss is gentle at first—unsure and unsteady—but once she circles my neck with her arms and draws me closer, any hesitation ceases to exist.
Suddenly, we’re a mess of roaming hands, fumbling to undress each other as we lose ourselves in our deepening kiss. First to go is my shirt, followed by Beibhinn’s tee. Her hands fall to my belt, tugging at it until she eventually gets it loose enough for me to assist. The entire time, our lips never part, savouring every swipe of our tongues in the dance for dominance. With a little help from Beibhinn, I remove my trousers and kick them to the floor, then concentrate on unclasping her bra before tugging it down her arms in a frenzy.
Last to go are her skirt and thong. I tease my fingers around the lace, easing it down her legs and pulling it off the rest of the way. Every movement is chaotic, just like us.
When we’re finally naked, my eyes latch onto hers. I’m stunned by the emotion they reflect. “Are you sure about this?” I question, knowing once we cross this line, nothing will ever be the same.
Her response makes the whole world tilt on its axis. “Yes. I want it to be you. Only you, Cadden.”