eight
Erin
I jolt up in shock when cold water washes over me.
“What?”
“Tur-da, parla, erbet kemigi.”
(Rise and shine, ugly whore)
I blink at him, confused. What he is saying? He stares at me and slaps me across the face.
“I don’t understand.”
I say, again holding my throbbing cheek. I guess that pissed him off because he slaps me again.
“?riňiziň ma?gala gün?lerini t?l?rsiňiz,.”
(You will pay for your husband’s family sins)
He gives a little whistle and two men step forward.
I shake my head. “No, no. Please don’t.”
But they pay me no mind as they cut my clothes off, leaving me in only my underwear and bra. One of them grabs my hands while the other straddles my hips and hits me over and over again.
I try to pull my hands free but when he puts a blade to my throat, and I feel the warmth of my blood slowly drip down my neck. I stop moving. Clearly, they will not hesitate to kill me. Even if Oscar doesn’t want me, I’m Charlie’s mom, and I will do everything I can to be there for him as long as possible.
I cry out with each hit, not sure if it's physical or emotional pain. Being kidnapped again, and being away from Charlie, mixed with the punches that I feel are breaking every bone in my face. It’s obvious he is putting everything in his punches. I let it all out. Why should I bother hiding how much it hurts?
When he lands another punch to the side of my face, I embrace the darkness.
***
I wake up with a scream when I feel my back being cut into. I open my eyes and look around seeing I’m still in the dark, smelly, cold room I was in before. A flickering light bulb hangs from the ceiling, I remember the wet and cold floor that was seeping into my skin when I was laying here earlier. But now my skin isn’t wet from the ground. I look and see the man who was punching me is standing in front of me with a sinister smile.
“AHHHHHHHHHH!”
“Bak, ki?ijik gurjak oya,.”
(Look the little doll is awake)
I look behind me and see the man who was holding my hands earlier is now is holding a bloody knife against my back and is cutting through my skin.
“Stop. Please stop.”
“Onuň g?zya?yna seret. ?eyle bir owadan.”
(Look at her tears. So beautiful.) He walks in front of me and uses his bloody knife to wipe my tears. Then he licks the blade clean. I swallow back the bile that is threatening to come out of my mouth.
“Tagamlar hem gowy.”
(Tastes good too.)
He walks back around to my back and continues cutting into it as my screams continue like before. It seems like a lifetime before he finally stops. He comes back in front of me, painfully opens my mouth, and uses my tongue to clean the blade. I gag at the cooper taste filling my mouth. He moves the blade all the way to the back of my throat before he moves it forward and he does this five more times.
I relax when the knife is almost completely out of my mouth, but then he slices the end of my tongue. He removes the knife and pats my head and the two men laugh as I lean forward and puke my guts out. I continue to puke as the door slams shut behind them.
***
I have no idea how long, I have been here but each day they continue to punch and cut me until I go lose conscious.
I have lost any hope that Oscar cares and is looking for me.
I have come to accept he only married me because of Charlie and he will marry Sarah now that I’m gone.
I can only hope that she will treat Charlie right.
At least he will have the O'Sullivan's around him and that he won’t suffer too long.
Maybe it is for the best that he is young because he will forget me, and even though the thought of him forgetting me kills me. I don’t want him to be in any pain.
I think back to all my memories of him; snuggles, those late-night feedings where I would just watch him and be amazed at how perfect he is, cheering him on as he reached each milestone, his first steps.
I wish I could be there to watch him as he grows up to be the amazing man I know he can be.
I won’t be there on his first day of school, his first date, prom, graduation, and one day getting married and starting his own family.
I see the first man who slapped me around storm into the room with a gun in his hand.
I guess this is it.
He lifts his hand and aims it at my chest.
I watch as his finger flexes on the trigger and the booming sound of the gun going off is what I hear before I feel a burning pain overwhelms me.
“Ony bu yerden ?ykaryp, O'Sulliwanyň üstüne ta?lap bilersiňiz, soňra bu yeri yakyp bilersiňiz.”(Get her out of here you can dump her at the O'Sullivan's then burn this place to the ground.)
They unhook my wrists and I slumped to the ground.
I groan when my body hits the floor, but they grab my feet and drag me out of there and toss me into a van.
When my head collides with the side of the van, I know this is it for me.
I just wish my life could have been more than it was.