Chapter 35
If she asked me to, I’d write her name alongside mine in blood.
I’d carve off my own fucking skin to keep her warm…
do anything for her to see me in the same light I see her in for even a moment.
I’d blacken the sky with smoke so no one could see her amongst the darkness, to shield her from everyone else’s stare.
I don’t think she understands the things I’d endure to make her mine and keep her as such.
She stares at me like I’ve morphed into a monster, the fear and betrayal in her eyes like a storm that’s been brewing for weeks, but the only victim subjected to its downpour is me.
I stay here for a little longer, wanting the fire to die down before I burn myself, but I know as soon as I step off the hood of the car, she’s going to take off. Spotting a biker at the light beside her, I make my next move.
“You think I’ll let you go after I just found you?” I ask.
She pants heavily, gripping the steering wheel harder. Even through the cracks in the glass, she looks like she wants to destroy me.
But she already has.
Twice.
Twice, I did something I knew would see me behind bars.
And I’d do it again.
My hand shakes, the small shards of broken glass likely lodged into my skin, but I don’t drop my gaze to check. I’m pretty sure I have fractures in my knuckles, but the pain doesn’t amount to the look in her eyes right now.
I should have told her when I had the chance. At least then, I had the means to keep her contained. Now, I’ll reap what I’ve sown.
“Unlock the doors,” I demand.
She doesn’t make a move, like she didn’t hear me, but I know she did.
“Go finish what you started, like you always fucking planned to!” she yells, and the car moves beneath me, plummeting me to the edge of the hood. I latch onto the sides before my hand slips, my body hitting the road hard.
“Fuck!”
The sharp pain in my side can fucking wait. Lifting myself to my feet, I approach the biker in a rush. “Get the fuck off!”
“Easy,” he says, raising his hands.
I don’t fucking have time for this.
I wrench him off the bike easily, his light frame moving without much fuss, unlike the slurs that come out of his mouth.
Mounting the Harley, I couldn’t give a fuck about safety as I gun the throttle, the engine roaring like a beast on the hunt.
My fingers curl around the grips, the leather slick with my sweat as the wind cuts at my face.
Bright red taillights ahead shine in the distance as she swerves, the tyres screaming on the asphalt.
Fuck.
I know she’s trying to escape me, and I fucking deserve it.
But I’m not about to let her go. Not like this.
Never fucking again.
The spotlight from my headlight carves a tunnel through the black of night, shining straight onto her.
She thinks she can outrun me, escape the past she’s been dying to remember.
As if she will ever be safe without me. The result of my deception in her eyes was like shards of volcanic ash in my lungs, cutting the soft tissue as she looked at me like a complete stranger.
Like she hadn’t spent days tangled in my arms and in my darkness.
But I think a part of her always knew.
A part of her loved me because of it.
I close the distance between our vehicles.
“Isla!” I roar into the air, knowing she’s watching me from her rearview mirror. I know she can’t hear me, and she probably wouldn’t listen even if she could.
Her brake lights flash with sharp, frantic panic as she pulls the car to the right.
I lean into the turn, the back wheel of the bike fishtailing before I catch it.
Then my eyes clash with hers, dark and wet as she pulls over by an abandoned building. Her car door flies open without warning, and she climbs out, holding something in her hand as the dress clings to her skin.
I kick the pedal and step off the bike without cutting the engine and walk toward her with my hands by my sides. Each step I take is a risk, but I can’t do nothing.
I’ve spent years doing nothing but waiting.
“Take another step and I’ll end it right now,” she says, her voice shaking as she raises a large piece of glass to her throat.
Fuck.
FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!
“Isla.” I hesitate, my voice just above a whisper as I plant my feet in place, afraid that if I chance another step closer to her, I’ll lose her forever.
“You lied to me,” she cries, the tears falling as blood trickles from her palm.
My jaw tightens, my mind working hard to think of a way to get to her without her harming herself.
“I was afraid,” I admit aloud for the first time. “I was fucking terrified that if you knew who you were, you’d think I came for you because of her and not you. Fuck…I was terrified of this very fucking moment, Isla.”
Her grip on the glass loosens a touch, her breath catching as I watch her take in my words. It’s like time stands still as we watch each other, our bleeding hearts spilled across the road.
“I know I’m the villain,” I say, taking a slow step toward her. “I know you’ll never see me as anything else.”
“But I wanted to,” she murmurs, her hands now shaking as she fights back the tears.
Light drops of rain land on my face like a warning, a sign that if I don’t get to her in the next few minutes, the storm will drown us both, separating us in the sea of my betrayal.
“I love you,” I confess the words I’ve wanted to say since the night she left. “I have loved you all my life, Isla. And it’s not just the obsession, it’s the fact that even the world couldn’t keep us apart, like it knew we were always meant to find each other.”
Her lip wobbles, the glass clattering to the floor as she succumbs to her emotions. She doesn’t run or hide. She just stands there, her vulnerability matching mine, waiting for me to step into the firing zone, wondering if I would do it for her.
I would.
Repeatedly.
Every. Fucking. Time.
She’s right there in front of me, but I don’t make a move to touch her.
Not yet.
Something between us is stopping me, like if I moved too quickly, she’ll vanish within my grasp.
The rain pelts down harder, soaking us both, the blood from her hand diluting as she drops it to her side.
But what shatters me isn’t the betrayal I’ve placed in her eyes or the pain in her sobs, it’s her strength.
Even through the shattered parts of her soul, Isla stands before me like a woman prepared for a fight, like she’s been fighting all her life.
“Tell me everything,” she whispers. “Right now. I want to know.”
I know she deserves the truth, the entire thing, not the watered-down version I’ve fed her through passionate sex and distractions. Not through the charm I’ve weaponised.
The whole fucking truth.
I nod once as the rain trickles down my face like a cold sweat.
“You were a key to a larger plan to break through the secret dealings of London’s high society.”
Her brows pull in with hurt or confusion…possibly both.
“My job was to keep you busy, long enough for Ezra to find something on your father…to pull him onto his side like a weapon, exactly like what he did to you.”
She flinches at my words but doesn’t make a move to escape.
“It was true when I told you I didn’t know who you were until that night before I came to you at Benedict’s, but…” I exhale, forcing myself to continue. “But that’s not why I came, Isla. I came because you needed me…because the thought of someone hurting you turned the blood in my veins to ash.”
She purses her lips, her eyes watering as she processes my words.
“You want to know who I really am? I’m a man who isn’t afraid to be called the villain because I don’t regret taking that life when I was a boy, even if it cost me everything. I’d do it again. Hell, I did take the fall again, for you.”
The silence is deafening as rain falls, drenching us in its chaos.
“I’d do anything for you,” I murmur, stepping closer, my hands aching to be on her skin.
“I won’t let you run from me, not after I have you right in front of me…not just as her but as the woman who stole my heart again.”
Her eyes sear into mine, the fire in them brighter, deeper, and crueller. An aching and longing akin to a love lost and found.
“There’s nothing of me left that could survive without you.”
Without another breath, the air shifts, the intensity between us folding into itself.
Her body collapses into mine, moulding around me like the missing piece I’ve been searching for.
And in this moment, nothing else matters.
Nothing but Isla fucking Knight.
My religion.
My destruction.
My law.