Chapter 38
The storm outside rattles the windows, but it’s just a whisper compared to the one wreaking havoc beneath my chest. He’s so close.
Close enough for me to smell the cologne on his damp skin, mixing with his blood.
The heat of his body on mine, the barely contained violence he carries with him, constantly simmering beneath his skin.
He burns through every defence I put up, especially as his fingers travel down my navel and between my lips.
He strokes me with antagonising leisure, teasing me as two of his fingers slide over me.
I don’t stop him. I lift my hips, giving him access.
His gaze never strays from mine as he devours me without saying a word.
“Was it true?” I whisper as he slips one finger in, my body trembling with the need for more.
The darkness in his eyes amplifies, his pupils dilating when he speaks. “Every fucking word.”
He adds another finger as I roll my hips, wanting them deeper. When he touches me, I don’t think of how many truths he’s kept hidden or how many people he’s killed to get to me because all I can see in his eyes is the one thing I’ve longed for all my life.
Naked desire, devotion, and obsession.
A love worthy of envy.
His hand curls around the back of my neck, pulling me into a kiss, reminding me that I am his, that I will always be his.
His fingers curl inside me, moving in the way I’ve missed, at the perfect pace.
I moan into his mouth as he kisses me again, deeper, hungrier, and I feel every possessive stroke like a warning.
This isn’t romantic.
It isn’t a kind or sweet love.
This is all of Malik’s obsession dressed in passion and lust.
He isn’t just another man who wants me. He’s desperate for me, and that’s what terrifies me because desperate people have absolutely nothing left to lose. They’d crawl through glass, shatter their bones, and scale mountains to get what they want.
His mouth drops to my neck, marking me with each breath as he brings me closer to release.
My nipples harden, and my nails dig into the skin on his shoulders as they flex.
“Are you still worried I don’t want you for you?” he asks, taking one of my nipples into his mouth.
I can’t breathe, let alone think of an answer, the sting from his teeth pulsing through my body, meeting in the middle.
“I think I stopped caring the minute your hands were on me,” I confess and feel his smile on my skin. His thumb presses on my clit, and I roll my hips up as his fingers work inside me.
“Don’t ever leave me again, Isla,” he warns, his eyes clashing with mine as the pressure inside me builds, my mouth opening just a touch as every muscle in my stomach clenches. I squeeze my eyes shut, burning stars covering my vision, as I come undone on his fingers.
“Malik,” I breathe his name like my last request, throwing my head back as the wave pulls me under its irresistibly satisfying current.
“That was one. Now I want another.”
My vision is still blurred, but I feel him move down until a warmth closes over me. I gasp, jolting up onto my elbows, my vision clearing just enough to watch him suck me into his mouth, the delicious pressure gearing my body up for another release.
Fuck, I think I might die tonight.
“Malik, I can’t,” I say, but my body has other plans. My hips roll over his mouth, grinding harder as I stare into his eyes, my control slipping through my fingers like sand.
He doesn’t come up for air, not once, as his tongue enters me, then slips out, running along the side of my pussy, then down the other. He teases me like I did to him, licking me everywhere but the place I’m desperate for him.
“Yes, you can,” he rasps over my clit, his hot breath dizzying.
The patience and restraint from moments ago are gone, replaced by a gluttonous starvation.
As he takes me into his mouth again, I release a guttural moan, gripping his hair and fisting it as I grind myself over his mouth.
I take control as he holds his tongue out for me to use.
The pleasure is too much, but before I can pull away, his hands grip my hips, hauling me back onto his mouth. His fingers are almost bruising as he flicks my clit with his tongue, and just as he sucks me into his mouth again, I tremble with his name on my lips.
“You make everything in this world feel possible,” he murmurs onto my thigh. I almost don’t hear him between the thumping in my chest and ringing in my ears as he crawls on top, hovering over me. I taste myself on his lips when he lowers them onto mine, sealing a silent promise between us.
It’s you and me. Against everything and everyone else.
Forever.
Then I feel him. Hard and thick as he presses through my entrance. Every second feels like a confession from him. Each thrust of his hips is the only truth I need.
“I think I’ve always been yours,” I whisper, wrapping my arms around his neck as he pushes deeper inside me. He moves slowly, with purpose, like he has something to prove—like two souls holding onto this one moment because it holds the most certainty.
It’s the kind of calm and closeness that you crave. One that’s deeper than flesh and blood, one that will remain long after the heat fades and time settles in its place.
I feel him harden inside me as his thrusts deepen. His hand closes over my throat in a possessive hold, his eyes beaming into mine with something that can only be described as fixation, and I realise it’s me he’s taken with. Not the ghost in his past, or his job…me.
We don’t speak as our breaths mingle in the air between us, our bodies moving together, my hips meeting his.
It’s different.
The way he holds me, the way he kisses me.
“You’ll always be the standard I will hold myself to,” he says between pants, his thumb caressing my jaw.
Reaching down, he hooks his arm behind my knee and lifts, stretching me open as he buries himself inside me. I wince at the tip of his cock hitting my cervix. It’s painful at first, but as he continues, the feeling morphs into a pleasure I cannot decode.
“My religion, my destruction…” he groans, driving into me again and again. “My fucking law.”
“Malik,” I whimper, my breasts bouncing as we slide on the floor with each of his thrusts. “I’m so close.”
“Say my name again.” His voice is low, hungry and fierce.
And I do. I grip onto him, pulling him into me, our bodies one as we come undone together.
Raw.
Intimate.
And unashamed.
Neither of us move as our breathing slows. He stays inside me like he doesn’t trust me enough yet to let me go, his forehead resting against mine, the dark strands of his hair now damp.
And for the first time, there’s nothing between us. No lies, no ghosts. We’re not just tangled in the moment but connected through every electric current that courses beneath our skin.
“You’re shaking,” he says, lifting his gaze to mine.
I shake my head, gently brushing the loose strands of his hair back. “I’m okay.”
He searches for something in my eyes, like he’s deciphering a code, but there is nothing to find because it’s the truth.
My thumb finds the scar on his chin, and I wonder about its story.
He never told me how he got it, and I find myself wanting to know everything I missed in the years I lost my memories, and the parts of my past that link me to him.
“I’m all in,” I say, placing a gentle kiss on his lips.
He releases a breath, like he had been waiting for me to say something else.
“But you’ll be begging for my forgiveness until I’ve had my fill.”
He chuckles with relief.
“I’ll make it right, I promise,” he says, his voice coating me like a blanket of warmth.
He rests his head on my chest, his body pressed against mine, but I feel something inside him unravel.
I can almost hear the tension in his body calm as he clutches me against him.
It’s like a pressure lifts off his shoulders as his weight presses onto me.
Like a month-long cough that suddenly disappears without a trace. But with the calm comes the anxiety.
I feel everything in his grip on my waist. The fear rolling off him in waves as if letting me go would mean losing me forever.
Now that he’s found me, I know he’ll never let me go.
And it’s the only thing keeping me warm, the only thing stopping me from throwing it all away for a taste of revenge.
For now.
The cold wind hits me in the face as I take a step out into the street.
It’s early, but not for me. My body is content with waking up at the crack of dawn because I’ve trained it to.
After we crawled into bed and fell asleep in each other’s arms, I woke to the soft rays of sunlight illuminating Isla’s dark hair, fanned across her pillow.
The streaks of makeup left behind from a night filled with two bodies working to make up for lost time.
After we’d fucked until my dick was almost raw, she found a first aid kit in the bathroom and patched me up, covering my knuckles in a white bandage. It grazes the inside of my hoodie pocket, but I don’t notice the sting, not as much as last night.
I head down the street to find some food, covering myself with my hat and hood.
I’m mindful that my face is plastered all over the news and papers, so anyone could recognise me, but I won’t have my woman go hungry.
The young man behind the counter of the café barely looks at me, covering his mouth with the crook of his elbow as he yawns, and it’s obvious he’d rather be anywhere but here.
“Can I help you?” he asks without looking away from the coffee machine.
“Two bacon and egg burgers and two espressos,” I answer without thinking.
“Cash or card?” He moves to the register, ringing up the cost and looks up at me.
Pulling out my wallet, I hand over the cash as he carries on.