Chapter 39
The last time I spoke to Astrid was before Malik was arrested.
Even in the weeks of physical therapy, I didn’t get a chance to properly check in with her to see if she was okay, and I hate myself for it.
Emmett reassures me that she’s fine. He even went so far as to tell me the shows she’s been watching, trying to keep herself occupied as she tries to work out what she’s going to do about her situation with her husband.
She was upset about losing her baby, and truth be told, I was upset for her.
I knew what it meant to her to fall pregnant and have a chance at being a mother.
But life had other plans for her. As it does for me.
I don’t know if I can ever return to practising law. I don’t even think I want to. How can I believe in justice when the system is so fucking broken?
How can I pretend like I have power when all of it rests in the hands of the elite?
“So, you’ve been stopping by a lot to see Astrid…” Malik breaks the tension in the air as we sit in the back seat with our fingers interlaced. I squeeze his hand in mine, telling him through my touch to back off.
Emmett’s blue eyes clash with mine, then move to Malik’s through the rear-view mirror. “Really?” He stares back at the road as we head back toward the city.
“We’ve been sitting in this car for fifteen minutes, and you haven’t said a word. Something…or someone is on your mind, I’m just trying—”
“I have two words, Malik.” He holds up his index finger. “Shut.” He raises his middle finger and lowers the index. “Up.”
I watch Malik bite back a smile as he leans into me. Turning his head into the side of my neck, he inhales deeply.
Emmett’s groan of disgust cuts through the heat. “I’m fucking uncomfortable,” he says, glancing back at us.
“Then keep your eyes on the fucking road,” Malik warns, swirling his tongue on my neck.
“Look, I’m glad you found her and all that, but fuck, control yourself, please. I do not want to be subject to this.”
I try to push Malik off, but he doesn’t budge. Like a scarf, he wraps his hand around my neck, kissing me as I try to speak to Emmett. “Is she okay?”
He doesn’t look back, ignoring the suction noises coming from Malik’s mouth.
“She’s…trying to be okay. Physically, she’s fine, but I think she might be struggling to deal with everything in her head.”
I’m grateful for him. Because without friends, it’d be hard for her to come out of this.
“How long do we have before sunset? I want to see her,” I say, hoping I’ll have enough time to stop by before things become messy again.
“Ezra wants us there by six,” Emmett responds.
“You’re not going anywhere without me. You can visit Astrid after this is all over. I’m not letting you out of my sight,” Malik says, pulling back a little to look at me.
“What if shit doesn’t go our way? What then?” I ask, not because I don’t have faith in Ezra and Malik to carry this entire thing to completion, but because I know Benedict will have contingencies in place.
“I’ll fucking make sure it does. As long as you don’t fucking run again.”
Emmett returns his gaze to the road, the corners of his eyes creasing into a smile. “Yeah, that was fucked, Isla. Don’t do that again.”
I scoff. “I’d just found out I’d been lied to my entire fucking life, and you both just expect me to be okay with that?” I try to push Malik off, but he’s stuck on me like glue. “I want my revenge.”
“I won’t let you ruin your life for it,” Malik murmurs, taking my lips with his. He’s fucking insatiable.
I break the kiss long enough to speak. “I won’t do nothing.”
“I’ll do it all for you, Isla. You tell me exactly how you want them to hurt, and I’ll dirty my hands for you. I want yours to remain pristine in this.”
“What if I say no?” I whisper, stealing a glance at the rear-view mirror to see if Emmett is watching. He isn’t.
“Want to revisit the cage?” Malik’s lips curve into a sinister smile as he places my hand over his trousers, his cock rock hard beneath. “I don’t mind caging you again. This time, I might throw away the key so you can never escape.”
I hate that he’s enjoying this, but I know exactly how to get him worked up.
I lean into him, our noses briefly grazing as we drive over a pothole. We’re nearing the hotel, and I know we won’t have much time before Ezra expects us in the basement.
“Lloyd,” I whisper, and his brows come together with confusion.
“What?”
“That information you were so hell bent on having.” I smile as he understands exactly what I mean.
But I drive the knife further, aiming to hurt him.
“I spent a summer with Lloyd in high school, helping out his father in their service shop. When we weren’t fucking, he would teach me how to service a car, change tyres, and drop transmissions. ”
Pure fury burns through his eyes and into mine as a sense of achievement befalls me. At least I know, with this new sense of jealousy and anger, he might be willing to cause some irreparable damage.
If I couldn’t enact my revenge with my own hands, I wanted some of my fury buried within Malik.
“I swear to god, if this isn’t a joke…” He grips my thigh.
“Save the psychotic jealousy for her ex-fiancé. We’re nearing the back entrance.” Emmett pulls up in the small lane behind the hotel, and we wait for further instruction.
“Did you make sure Kat—”
“Yes, Kat is across it all. She’s blinded the cameras and looped feeds. We have ten minutes to get to the basement,” Emmett confirms.
The door opens as the adrenaline starts to bubble.
Ever since that night at Benedict’s, it’s been at a constant simmer.
We move across the street and through the back door, Malik’s grip on my hand tighter than a glove.
The corridor is empty aside from a few long tables resting against the walls, the only light the fluorescent ones above us. Then we make it to the elevator.
“How many fucking secret passageways does this hotel have?” I ask, but he doesn’t answer me. I turn to him as we wait for the elevator, his jaw set and eyes fixed on the metal in front of us. “Malik?”
“We’re going to talk about this later because right now, I have a job to do.”
“Are you mad about the transmission?” I ask, knowing exactly why he’s not himself.
The elevator dings and the doors open. He hurls me inside and hovers his card over the scanner, then returns his attention to me.
“I’m fucking livid that another man got to share moments with you that should’ve been mine.”
There’s a pull from deep within, the guilt choking me, but I don’t apologise because I haven’t forgotten that he lied.
“I have killed people for less,” he says in a low, menacing voice as he towers over me.
It’s a confession and a warning.
“It was years ago. It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“Everything about you matters to me. When are you going to understand that?” The doors open into his apartment, and I duck beneath his arm to step out.
“You’re just going to have to live with it, like I’m going to have to live with tonight,” I say.
When I turn to look at him, his face is dark, and I’m left staring at the man who was all over me mere minutes ago, now most likely plotting the death of my high school ex-boyfriend.
“This isn’t fucking normal.”
He laughs, then stares at me with that devastatingly handsome smile. “Nothing will ever be normal again. Not after tonight.” He steps toward me into the sitting room, slowly, like we have all the time in the world.
“I meant it’s not normal for you to want to—”
“Break his neck? Skin him alive? Slice the foreskin off his cock and make him eat it while you watch?”
My stomach churns. “He’s a police officer.”
“Tell me this,” he murmurs, stepping toward me. “Was he your first love?”
“I was eighteen. I had no idea what love was,” I answer as quickly as I can, hoping it diminishes the crazy in his eyes.
Malik’s phone chimes in his pocket, cutting through the tension.
“This isn’t over,” he whispers as he checks it. “They’re all ready. Let’s go.”
I take a deep breath, steadying my thoughts, preparing myself to face the two men responsible for my shattered memories and deep-rooted traumas.
I know what Ezra expects from me tonight. But I also know I’m not the same woman he met years ago.
Only I will be deciding my fate.
And only I will live with it.