Chapter 13
Tanner was bored out of his mind.
It wasn’t Carlie’s fault. She was funny. Full of energy. Gorgeous and engaging.
But she wasn’t a sweet redhead. With big blue eyes. And curves that didn’t stop.
Fuck.
Was he ever going to get over her?
Raid leaned into him as the girls disappeared to the bathroom. “Dude, you need to at least be friendly.”
Fuck. “That bad, huh?”
Raid sighed, shaking his head. “You’re not being rude, just quiet. What’s the problem?”
“You know what the problem is.”
“That girl ghosted you. How long are you going to pine after her? Look, Carlie knows this is just a friendly date, but you have to at least talk to her.”
Guilt filled him. He wasn’t being fair to Carlie. The four of them had been out to dinner and now they’d grabbed a table at Dirty Delights. It was pumping tonight.
Generally, he enjoyed being here.
“You’re right.” He made an effort to smile at Carlie as she reappeared. Getting up, he drew out her chair.
She laughed. “Such a gentleman. I think all those rumors about those Malone boys must have been exaggerated.”
“They weren’t,” Tanner said with a grin. “Tell me what you’ve been doing this week.”
Raid and Hannah were staring at each other with lovey-dovey eyes. It was kind of sickening, so he moved closer to Carlie as a distraction.
Reaching out, he tucked a piece of hair behind Carlie’s ear. She smiled up at him.
Someone jostled her and she slid into him as he turned to glower at the asshole who had already walked past. He helped her sit up.
“Are you all right?”
She smiled up at him, her hand still on his thigh where she’d put it to keep her balance. “I’m good. Thanks.”
“What a jerk. Must be from out of town.”
The sound of glass smashing had everyone’s attention turning. His gut instantly soured as he spotted the waitress who’d just dropped a glass on the floor.
It couldn’t be . . .
His breath caught as he studied the pale woman. She was thinner than his Lilac. In fact, she was way too thin—to the point of being unhealthy. Her skin was pale. Her hair, which she’d drawn back from her face into a ponytail, was lank and dull.
But still . . . it was his Lilac.
What the fuck was she doing here? How did she come to be working here?
He watched as she seemed to come back into her head and looked down with a gasp. Then she kneeled right in the fucking glass and started to pick up pieces.
What the hell was she doing?
Sliding from the booth, he stood.
“What’s going on? Tanner?” Carlie asked.
“Fuck, is that Lilac?” Raid said with shock as Tanner rushed toward her.
Around her, people were trying to talk to her, to convince her to put the glass down. She was going to fucking cut herself.
“Lilac?” Devon said, reaching her at the same time Tanner did.
Tanner shot the other guy a dirty look, not liking the way he said her name.
Yeah, he knew he was being irrational. But he couldn’t help it.
Lilac was his.
Except . . . she left you. Ghosted you. She didn’t want you.
So, if she didn’t want him, what was she doing here? Why come to his town?
Was it for him?
“Lilac, drop the glass, honey. You’re going to hurt yourself,” Devon told her.
“Don’t call her honey,” Tanner said in a low growl.
Devon gave him a narrow-eyed look.
“I’ve got to clean it all up,” Lilac said, sounding almost frantic as she grabbed another piece of glass. She hissed and worry flooded Tanner as he saw a drop of blood land on the floor.
“Fuck. Lilac, release the glass. Right now.”
Lilac froze, her gaze rising to his.
“Lilac,” he said warningly, putting as much command as possible into his voice.
She placed the glass down, glancing around. Her face grew red, and he swore he could see her eyes glistening with tears.
“I’m so sorry, Devon. I’ll clean it up. I just . . . need . . . a minute.”
“I’ve got this. Go clean up,” Devon reassured her.
“Wait right there, Lilac.” Tanner got to his feet, but by that time she was pushing her way across the room.
Fucking hell.
This girl had to stop running from him.
“Tanner? Everything okay?”
Fuck. He’d forgotten about Carlie. Turning, he gave her an apologetic look.
“Do you know her?” she asked.
“Uh, yeah. I met her about six months ago. But I wasn’t expecting to see her here.”
“I think she hurt herself,” Hannah said worriedly. “Maybe I should go check on her.”
“I’ll go,” he said sharply.
Both women stared at him in shock while Raid scowled at him.
“Watch your tone,” Raid warned, wrapping an arm around Hannah.
“Right. Sorry. Carlie, I’m really sorry?—”
“Go. It’s all right.” Carlie smiled at him.
He felt rude, but he had to check on her.
“I’ll be back soon.” Turning, he rushed off out the back. Devon had already tidied up the glass and disappeared.
A sense of urgency filled Tanner. What if she disappeared on him again? What if she was badly hurt?
He heard some voices coming from farther down the hallway. A door was open, and he looked in to find Lilac standing at a sink, with fucking Devon standing next to her.
He was way too fucking close, and Tanner saw red. “Get away from her.”
Both of them turned to look at him. Lilac’s mouth dropped open as she gaped at him in shock.
Devon just folded his arms over his chest, glaring at him. “This is the staff area, Tanner. Last time I looked, you weren’t on my payroll.”
Tanner scowled. He didn’t give a fuck if this was the President’s private toilet; if Lilac was here so was he.
He strode over to her. “Let me see.”
“T-tanner,” she stuttered.
“Let. Me. See.” He couldn’t handle any bullshit right now.
“Obviously, the two of you know each other,” Devon said. “But, Lilac, if he’s making you uncomfortable, I will kick him out.”
“No, you won’t. Because she’s mine,” Tanner snapped.
Lilac sucked in a breath and Devon narrowed his gaze at him. “That’s news to me. Seems like it might be news to her too. Lilac, are you Tanner’s?”
“I . . . we met six months ago. Then I . . .”
“Disappeared without a word. Never even left me a message. Then you turn up in my town. I think that means you owe me an explanation.”
Before she could answer, someone called out for Devon.
“Shit. I need to get out there. Lilac, want me to get rid of Tanner?”
Tanner growled at Devon. Fuck, he’d never made a noise like that in his life, but he was unable to help himself.
He wasn’t going anywhere.
Lilac lookedfrom Devon to Tanner. Devon would actually kick out Tanner for her? She assumed they knew each other. And Devon barely knew her.
But he was prepared to do what was needed to protect her?
That never happened. The only people to ever protect her were her friends.
“I’m all right with him,” she said quietly. “Tanner won’t hurt me.”
She hoped.
Devon seemed unsure but nodded. “There’s a First-Aid kit under the bench. Make sure you get her cleaned up. And if I hear that you’ve been mean to her, I will not be happy.”
She winced at Devon’s words as he left.
What was she doing? Why had she told him that she’d be all right with Tanner?
Tanner was mad, upset, and he had every right to be.
She couldn’t blame him for that. She knew that seeing him again would be hard. Why hadn’t she gone through all the possible scenarios?
Instead, she’d buried her head in the sand and just thought she’d figure it out when it happened.
But seeing him with another woman tonight . . . it had nearly broken her. Watching him touch her . . . she hadn’t been able to think, to act. Then the glass she’d just picked up had slipped from her hand and fell onto the floor.
She needed to offer to pay for that glass.
Lilac had known there was a chance he would have found someone else, but she guessed she’d been hoping that he might still want her.
You idiot.
You don’t deserve him.
She knew that. Just as she’d figured that he would want an explanation about why she’d disappeared.
You have to tell him something.
What she hadn’t expected was for him to chase her down like this.
“Show me your hand.” Tanner’s voice was low, quiet, but the command in it was clear.
She held her hand out to him; aware it was shaking. He took in a sharp breath.
“What were you thinking?” he demanded as he took hold of it, placing it under the tap before turning on the water.
Clearly, she hadn’t been.
Lilac wasn’t sure she’d been thinking all that well for a long, long time.
“It’s fine,” she whispered as the water cleared the blood away.
“No, it’s not fine. It’s bleeding. What were you doing picking up the glass like that? That was reckless. Have you got no sense of self-preservation?” he ranted as he let go of her hand to reach into the cupboard under the sink.
Lilac blinked at the words, barely able to comprehend them. He was angry over her cutting herself? She thought he was mad at her for leaving the way she had . . . then for reappearing without a word.
Well, she guessed he was likely angry about those things too. But why did he care that she had a small scratch on her hand?
“Let me find you a Band-Aid,” he muttered, searching through the kit.
“It’s just a scratch, though. It doesn’t need one.”
“Yeah, well, you’re getting one. It’s that or I call Doc.”
“You can’t call a doctor over a scratch!”
“Watch me,” he growled. Finding some antiseptic, he gently put it on the cut, then placed a Band-Aid over it. “What’s this red patch?”
“Oh, it’s nothing,” she dismissed.
“Looks like a burn.”
“It was just from a coffee spill.”
He muttered to himself as he grabbed out some burn cream and slathered it on. Actually, that did feel good.
“You need to keep that cut dry and watch it doesn’t get infected,” he ordered, putting the First-Aid kit away.
“It’s a scratch.” She knew she sounded like a broken record, but she couldn’t stop saying it. No one had ever fussed over her like this before.
It was bizarre.
It felt like her mind just couldn’t comprehend what was going on.
“You need to take care of it, or I will have you at the doctor’s so fast that your head will spin,” he told her.
“Why do you care?” she asked.
Crap.
He froze as she asked him that. She shouldn’t have said it. What did she say now?
Was he going to get angry at her?
You deserve it.
“Just because I’m upset with you, doesn’t mean that I want you hurt or suffering,” he told her. He didn’t look at her as he spoke. Instead, he gripped the bench tightly, staring at the wall. “I’ve spent the last six months wondering what happened to you. If you were harmed. Scared, sick, worried. Until I had to stop wondering. Until I started to forget about you.”
Ouch.
She’d thought he’d yell at her. She hadn’t been prepared for this.
“I . . . I’m so sorry, Tanner.”
“Why did you leave?”
“I . . . I . . .”
“Why, Lilac? You can tell me sorry until you’re hoarse, but it means fucking nothing unless you tell me why. So why did you leave? Without an explanation? Without even a text message?”
“I . . . I . . .”
“I mean, I get that we didn’t promise anything to each other, but to just fucking leave like that wasn’t right. You stood me up. I didn’t know where you were. I was concerned about you. Then, after a while, I realized that you obviously didn’t have much respect for me if you could leave me without a word like that. And now that I’m asking for an explanation, you can’t even give one. Yet, you’ve turned up in my town. Want to explain that? And don’t tell me it was a fucking coincidence.”
“It . . . it w-wasn’t. I didn’t mean to . . . I never wanted to hurt you, Tanner.”
“Who said you hurt me?” he said coldly. “I mean, sure, in the beginning, I was worried about you. But it was a fling and once I put you out of my mind, well, I didn’t think of you again. I moved on.”
“With that girl out there?” Why was she still here having this conversation? Hurting herself? She knew he’d be upset with her. What she hadn’t expected was that his anger would be cold.
That he would have completely put her out of his mind . . . that he no longer cared about her.
How arrogant were you to think he’d still care?
“Carlie has nothing to do with this conversation.”
There was something in his voice? Protective? Did he think that she would try to come between them? To harm what they had together?
She wouldn’t.
“Why are you here, Lilac? If you won’t tell me why you left me like that, then you can damn well tell me the real reason why you’re here. Did you come back here for me?”
He spun toward her. She reacted instinctively, fear filling her as she shied back, falling on her ass. But she didn’t even feel the pain through the panic flooding her. She put her arm up to protect herself.
A whimper broke free as she waited for him to hit her, hurt her.
“Lilac?” His voice was a rough whisper. Filled with regret and pain.
But she couldn’t deal with his feelings right now. She’d gotten her initial panic under control. Only now, she had to deal with the humiliation of what had just happened.
What was she going to do? Say?
“What the fuck is going on in here?” Devon demanded.
Oh God. Oh God.
Now her new boss was here to witness her complete humiliation.
“Lilac? Fuck. Did you think I was going to hit you? Baby, I would never hurt you.”
“I . . . I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she muttered. “I just tripped and fell. Excuse me, I’ve got to go back to work.”
Pulling herself up, she slipped past him. She half-expected him to reach for her, to try and touch her. And she wasn’t entirely sure how she’d react.
But he didn’t.
And she wasn’t sure whether that upset her more.
Lord. She was losing her mind. But she just couldn’t deal with anything more.
She rushed past Devon, who didn’t stop her either, and headed out to the bar. And nearly bowled someone over.
The person grabbed her, steadying her, and she looked up to see the woman that Tanner had been sitting with.
God. Of all the people, why did she have to crash into her?
“Hey, are you all right?” the other woman asked.
And nice too.
“I’m fine. I’m sorry. Are you all right? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
“Hardly. You’re tiny.” The other woman eyed her curiously. “I’m Carlie.”
“Lilac,” she said. “Sorry, I have to get back to work before I’m fired.”
“Sure. I hope you’re all right, Lilac.”
“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” What did she know? Had Tanner told her something about her?
“I meant your hand.”
“Oh yes, it’s fine. Thank you. Nice to meet you. See you soon.” As she walked off, she winced.
Seriously!
Nice to meet you? See you soon? Could she have embarrassed herself anymore?
She decided the only thing she could do was throw herself back into work and try to forget about this entire disaster of a night.
Easier said than done.
* * *
“What did you do to her?”
Tanner turned to look at Devon, who was glowering at him. “Nothing.”
Yeah, nothing except act like a total asshole and scare her to death. He didn’t care what she’d tried to say after. She’d been scared of him . . . she’d thought he would hit her.
Fuck. He shouldn’t have said what he had. He’d been hurt over her leaving like that . . . he could admit that to himself even if he couldn’t say it to her.
“That didn’t look like nothing,” Devon said in a low voice. “That looked like you terrified a woman who is already in a fragile state of mind.”
Fragile? Lilac?
Was she close to breaking? She’d certainly looked that way just now . . . yeah, he thought she might be.
“She’s lost so much weight.” It was worrisome. Why would she have gotten so skinny? Was it on purpose? Had she been ill?
“I need to talk to her again.”
“No.” Devon blocked his path. “You’re not. You’re going to go collect your stuff and your fucking date and leave.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about. I know Lilac. She’s mine.”
“She’s not yours. If she was yours, then she wouldn’t have been on the floor, staring up at you in utter fear.”
“That . . . I didn’t mean to scare her. I’m not sure what happened.”
Devon sighed. “I know you’re a good man, Tanner. But if you go after her right now all you’re going to do is make her more skittish. I don’t want her running.”
Fuck. Neither did he.
Now he was going to worry about her running off again.
“Why do you care?” Tanner asked.
“Because it’s obvious that Lilac hasn’t had an easy life. I hired her on because she needed this. A job. Someone to give a shit about her. That’s what I’m going to give her.”
Tanner clenched his hands into fists, battling back his jealousy. “You want her?”
Devon sighed. “I can’t do something nice for a woman without wanting her? I have to have an ulterior motive? You don’t think much of me, do you?”
Great. He was being a complete ass all the way around.
“Fuck, sorry, man.” Tanner ran his hand over his face. “It was just a shock seeing her. We didn’t part ways under the best circumstances. She just left. Didn’t message me, didn’t answer her phone, and all this time I had no fucking idea whether she was dead or alive.”
“I get that must have been awful. Not excusing what she did, but did you ever think she might have had a good reason?”
Had he?
Or had he figured that no reason would have been good enough?
“And did she actually promise you anything? Did you tell her how you felt about her?” Devon asked.
No. But it was unsaid. Or at least on his side, it was. He knew he’d just told her it’d been nothing more than a fling. But he’d been lying, since that certainly hadn’t been true for him. Had it been for her, though?
“I worried about her . . . she ghosted me. I deserve an explanation.”
“Maybe. But you don’t need to terrify her to get it.”
He’d done that, hadn’t he?
Scared her.
Fuck. What was wrong with him?
“I’ll go apologize.”
“Like I told you, not now. Just . . . go get some air and sleep on it. She’s had enough tonight. I don’t know what she was like when you first met her, but she seems like she’s close to the edge. And you don’t want to be the one who pushes her.”
Yeah. He nodded and walked out, aware of Devon walking behind him. When he entered the bar, his gaze instantly went to her. He couldn’t help it. She was like a beacon pulling him in, tugging him home.
But he finally took the time to take stock of her.
Fragile.
Yeah . . . now that he could think clearly, he saw it.
So thin. Painfully so. Why? She’d been curvy and gorgeous before. Smiling. Happy.
Or was that what she wanted you to see? What if it was all an act?
How would he know? He was beginning to see that he hadn’t known her at all.
“She’s gorgeous.”
He startled, staring down at Carlie, who had come up beside him.
Fuck.
“I’m two for two on the asshole charts tonight,” he muttered.
“Are you?” She raised her eyebrows.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Carlie. I understand if you’re completely pissed off with me for leaving you like that. It’s just . . . I haven’t seen her in six months. It was like seeing a ghost. But that’s no excuse for being a dickhead.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Tanner. Yeah, if this was a regular date, I’d be hurt. But we both agreed to do this to keep Raid and Hannah from nagging us.” She winked at him.
He blew out a sigh of relief. “I don’t deserve you being this good about it all, but thank you.”
“What are you going to do? She seems like . . . like she’s in trouble.”
He ran his hand over his face. “You could sense that, huh?”
“You’d have to be blind not to see it.”
Fucking hell.
She walked off after squeezing his arm.
Looking around, Tanner spotted Devon giving him a dirty look.
Fine. He was leaving.
But he wouldn’t be going far.