Chapter 42
Lilac stared at herself in the mirror.
Urgh.
This wasn’t her. This pale, haunted-looking woman with dark marks under her eyes.
Well, it wasn’t who she wanted to be. She wanted to be vibrant and happy. Not chased around by a nightmare who wouldn’t just stay in her dreams.
She sucked in a breath. She couldn’t believe she’d fallen asleep yesterday, and then slept through the night.
This morning when she’d woken up, she’d been alone. She wasn’t even sure when Tanner had come to bed.
Or if he had.
She didn’t want him to be mad that she wouldn’t just let him protect her.
As much as she’d love to just hand over all her stresses and worries, that wasn’t how things worked for her.
So, this morning, she’d gotten up and dressed. It had nearly zapped all of her energy which was a worry. What day was it today?
Wednesday?
Shit. She had to get to the bar tonight. Would Tanner drive her in?
With a sigh, she headed out of the bathroom and through the bedroom. She’d made the bed and tidied the room. Not that there was much to do. She’d left her stuff in her bag. She didn’t feel right unpacking it.
Heading out of the bedroom, she walked downstairs. There was the sound of laughter and women’s voices coming from further down the passage.
But that wasn’t where she headed. She had to find Alec.
Moving down the hall, she peeked in different rooms. Where would he be? Then, a door opened, and he stepped out. He looked tired, but he paused as he saw her.
“Lilac? Are you all right? What are you doing out of bed? Where’s Tanner?”
She felt her cheeks growing warm. “I’m fine. I’m not ill, you know.”
“You just got out of the hospital yesterday.” He sent her a stern look.
“I just didn’t eat enough, and my blood sugar got low. No big deal.”
“I’ll be sure to tell Tanner that.”
“Um, we don’t need to do that,” she said hastily. She was already up to strike four. She didn’t need anymore.
You don’t think you’re going to be on strike five for ignoring the note he left you?
Yeah. The note had said to text him when she woke up and stay in bed.
“Let me guess,” he said. “Tanner doesn’t know you’re out of bed yet. Have you eaten breakfast?”
“I’ll get some soon. I just needed to talk to you.”
Alec sighed, shaking his head, and her stomach dropped. He wouldn’t talk to her?
“You better come in, then. But just know that when Tanner comes looking for you, I won’t stop him from whatever he feels he need to do.”
Ominous warning.
She stepped into a room that was obviously his office. Another man was in there. Tall and imposing, even with a baby pressed against his chest. He frowned down at her.
“This is West.”
“Right. I’ve heard about you.”
West just snorted. “I can tell it was all good.”
“Oh, it was,” she said hastily.
“No, it wasn’t. Sit.” The word was barked, and she immediately sat on a chair facing Alec’s desk.
Yikes. He was intimidating.
“West, go easy. She’s been in the hospital.”
West eyed her. “Tanner needs to take better care of her.”
“Tanner takes care of me just fine,” she protested, defending him.
Wait. That wasn’t what she’d intended to say.
“I mean, I can look after myself.”
“Clearly not,” West said.
“Wow. I can see Tanner wasn’t exaggerating about you.”
West just raised an eyebrow. “Shouldn’t you be in bed? If you were my woman you wouldn’t be allowed out of bed for a week. And then you wouldn’t be sitting for a week.”
Lord help whoever his woman was.
“If I was your woman, you’d probably have been suffocated with a pillow by now.”
To her shock, West grinned. “I like her.”
Great. She could die happy.
Alec took a seat behind the desk. Sitting back, he studied her. “What can I do for you, Lilac?”
“I need to talk to you about your plans. For Stefan.” She swallowed heavily against the nausea in her stomach.
“You didn’t discuss this with Tanner?” Alec asked.
“I, uh, fell asleep yesterday afternoon and didn’t wake up until about forty minutes ago.”
She was embarrassed by how much she’d slept when they were about to enter into a fight for their lives.
“There’s nothing wrong with resting, Lilac,” Alec said. “With letting someone else be strong for a while.”
She clenched her hands together.
“Surprised Tanner left you. Or at least didn’t leave some instructions,” West said.
“Instructions?” she asked. Even though that’s precisely what he’d done.
“If it was me and I had to leave Flick while she was sleeping and I wanted her to rest and recuperate, if I was worried about her health, then I’d probably have left her a note telling her to call me when she woke. Or I’d put a camera on her,” West added. “Yeah, probably that.”
“Flick is a brave woman,” she said without thinking.
“And patient,” Alec added, his lips twitching.
“Look, I need to know what you plan to do about Stefan. I know him best. I can help.”
“And by help, you mean you can sacrifice yourself,” Alec said.
Damn it.
“Look, you didn’t even want me here because you knew I was a risk to your family. Nothing’s changed.”
“Except for everything,” West said. “You protected our sister and nephew when we couldn’t.”
“And by our reckoning that means we owe you,” Alec said gently. “You aren’t going back to that asshole. I never should have said what I did and for that I apologize. I should have had more faith in Tanner and his feelings. But I practically raised Tanner, and sometimes I seem to forget he’s his own man. With his own mind.”
“Since you raised him, you should know he’s a good man,” West said. “Even if he’s an asshole sometimes.”
She was trying to keep up with them. But all she was getting was that no one was going to support her plan.
“He’ll come for me eventually. You have children. Women. I can’t risk them.”
“And we can’t risk you,” Alec said.
“I’m no one. I’m not important. Everyone else is.”
West whistled and Alec looked over her head. “I can see the issues you’re facing here.”
Uh-oh.
Turning, she looked up . . . into the furious face of Tanner Malone.
Shit.
“I’ve been looking all over the house for you.”
She gulped.
“I was starting to worry that you’d gone outside, wandered off, that you’d left.”
As well as anger there was a stark worry in his voice. The last thing she wanted was to hurt him. To scare him.
“I’m sorry.”
He narrowed his eyes at her. “Why didn’t you text me?”
“Um, well, I guessed that you’d be busy, and I, um . . .”
“You might want to tell the truth, girl,” West advised.
Great. Thanks for the advice, West.
Her shoulders slumped. “I just wanted some information. Tanner, I need it. I can’t stop my brain until I know what’s going on.”
“And you didn’t think you could ask me? That I wouldn’t tell you?”
“No, I didn’t think you would,” she said. “You’re trying to shelter me.”
“Of course I’m trying to shelter you!” he yelled. “You’re the woman I love, and you’ve been through hell! You’ve just come out of the hospital. I think I’m entitled to shelter you under those circumstances.”
“And if I didn’t have my maniac brother out there, probably getting ready to commit countless murders to get me back, I would let you.”
Tanner stalked forward. He moved around so he faced her chair. She twisted just as he leaned in to place his hands on the arms of the chair. “You are going to let me pamper and protect you or so help me I’m going to spank your ass every day for a month.”
Lilac stared up at him in shock. Did he just realize what he’d said? But as she stared at him, she saw a very real fear in his eyes. What was she doing? Was she really insisting on going back to Stefan when it was the last thing she wanted? When it seemed everyone was against the idea?
And when it was causing the man she loved such pain?
“I’m sorry.”
He blinked. “What?”
“You . . . I’ve spent so long thinking of ways to keep everyone around me safe, it’s just . . . it’s taking a bit to change my mindset to where someone might want to keep me safe. I just . . . I’ve never felt that worthy of being protected.”
“Fuck, baby. That hurts me more than you can know.” He picked her up and then sat in the chair, cradling her in his arms.
She buried her face in his chest.
“Please don’t keep trying to risk yourself, baby. Please. For my sake. Stop self-destructing. I need you.”
“I’ll try. I promise I’ll try.”
“Damn,” West said. “I was going to make a comment about how it serves you right to meet someone as reckless with their safety as you always were as a teenager, but it doesn’t seem right now.”
“You can always celebrate the fact that she’s stubborn and won’t give in easily to him,” Alec said. “She’ll give him hell. I’m taking solace in that.”
“Hmm. True.”
“Will the two of you shut up,” Tanner grumbled without any real ire in his voice.
“Lilac,” Alec said in a soft voice.
With a sigh, she lifted her head from Tanner’s neck and turned to look at Alec.
“We’re not trying to keep you in the dark. In fact, we need your help. But we don’t want to add to your stress. And we don’t want you doing something stupid.”
Okay. Way to just get straight to the point.
“I won’t do anything stupid.”
Alec stared at her while Tanner ran his hand up and down her back. Then his gaze rose to Tanner.
Tanner sighed and started to massage her neck. “I’d like to keep you out of this entirely. To tie you to the bed to ensure you don’t go anywhere. Then you’d stay where I put you, at least.”
“Tanner Malone!” she said, shocked. Sort of. She glared up at him. “I’m never going to stay where you put me.”
The gall.
Tanner sighed. “Too bad.”
“Welcome to our lives,” West muttered. “Told Flick that I wanted her to stay in bed for a month after Mitch was born. She managed two days.”
A month? He wasn’t serious?
“Also told her not to go up and down the stairs on her own while pregnant. Did she listen to me? Nope.”
“That reminds me,” Tanner said in her ear. “I haven’t forgotten that you got showered, dressed, and walked down the stairs without me.”
“I can’t do any of those things on my own?”
“Not when you’re just out of the hospital because you fainted. What if you’d gotten dizzy in the shower or coming down the stairs? No, that’s a rule until you’re feeling better.”
“I am feeling better,” she said.
“No, you’re not.”
Sheesh. She couldn’t believe him!
“I feel so proud,” West said gruffly.
“Since when did you start talking so much,” Tanner grumbled.
“Babies need words,” West replied. “Helps with their development.”
Damn. That was sweet. He didn’t look like a man who cared about a baby’s development, but he obviously adored his son and wife.
“I can get up and down the stairs and dressed and showered alone.”
“Definitely stubborn,” Alec said.
“I am not!” It suddenly occurred to her that she was basically arguing with these men without a single concern that they might get upset with her. That they might hurt her or, worse, someone close to her.
On some level, she trusted them. Or trusted Tanner enough to trust that he wouldn’t let anyone hurt her.
She glanced up at him in wonder.
“What is it, pretty girl?” he asked, cupping the side of her face.
“You wouldn’t let anyone hurt me, would you?”
Leaning in, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “No, baby. Never.”
“Right. Shall we talk about where we’re at, then,” Alec said.
“Please,” she replied.
“We were worried that Stefan would know about us, that he might think that Ryleigh would come to us.”
“It’s why we didn’t do that straight away,” she said. “And also, we weren’t sure that you were the type of men who’d want anything to do with us. No offense.”
“You were right to be cautious, Lilac,” Alec told her. “And I want to reiterate something before we keep going.”
“Yes?” she asked cautiously.
“That we can never thank you enough for keeping our sister and nephew safe. And thank you for keeping yourself safe too.”
Oh, dear Lord.
She was about to cry.
“I don’t know if I did that good of a job, but I did the best I could.”
“You did perfectly,” Alec told her. “We might wish you’d taken better care of your health. But you have Tanner to do that now.”
Yikes. Okay, yeah. She got it. She needed to let Tanner help her.
“Now, like I said, we figured that our father might have told Stefan about Ryleigh having brothers.”
“It’s possible,” she said.
“Ryleigh said that she used her mother’s last name, Reynolds. And that our father was going by the name Thomas Sanders, so we’re hoping Stefan didn’t know about us, or if he did, he doesn’t know our names.”
“I think that might be a stretch to hope for that,” she said. “Stefan has a way of ferreting out secrets. I was so certain he was going to catch on to what I was doing. I knew I had to act normal, but it was nearly impossible. With Stefan, it’s always best to prepare for the worst. Ryleigh told me I was being a pessimist. She wanted to come to you guys straight away. But I knew it was safer to keep our distance. For you and us. I wouldn’t have come here if we weren’t desperate. But keeping Kye safe . . . it was more than I thought I was capable of.”
“You did the right thing,” Tanner told her.
Alec nodded. “You’re where you’re meant to be.”
“If he knew about us, wouldn’t he be here by now?” West asked.
She licked her lips. “Maybe he sent someone to begin with, then drew them back . . . I don’t know. Perhaps he sends someone here every so often. Or perhaps he doesn’t know at all.”
“You researched us,” Alec said. “Do you know about our cousins? Who they are?”
“Regent Malone and his siblings,” she whispered. “Yes. I’ve heard of him. Stefan actually mentioned him a few times.”
“I’ve spoken to Regent about all of this. He’s looking into him and he’s sending us some of his men. I’ve spoken to Mateo Marceras as well.”
“I don’t know him,” she said.
“Our old man got in deep with Mateo’s father, then he bailed and left us to pick up the pieces. Mateo helped us extract ourselves from that situation,” Alec explained. “He’s got connections to the underworld as well. He doesn’t know your brother, but he’s making some discreet inquiries. He thinks he knows some people who know him.”
“They need to be careful,” she said.
“They will be. In the meantime, I’m pulling everyone in. We’re all doubling up. Raid and Hannah are moving in with Clem and Jaret. Butch and Lara will stay with Beau, Maddox, and Scarlett. I want the same promise I extracted from Ryleigh and Opal, that you will not leave the Ranch.”
“But my jobs?” she asked.
“Devon and Peggy understand the circumstances and are fine with it,” Alec told her.
She narrowed her gaze at him. “Did you call my bosses and quit my jobs.”
“I did.”
Wow. This guy.
“And you thought I was bossy and arrogant,” Tanner whispered. “Bet I’m looking like a good catch right now, aren’t I?”
“You might have competition for the title of Meanie Malone,” she agreed.
He laughed and she had to smile at the sound. Something inside her eased.
Alec sighed, proving he could hear them. “Well?”
It didn’t feel right not to work and contribute. She glanced up at Tanner, biting her lip. “Are you okay with that? I don’t have much in savings, but I can give it to you all for groceries and stuff.”
“Dear Lord, are you going to shut her up?” West grumbled.
She gasped in horror before Tanner kissed her. Hard and fast. Then he gave her a stern look. “Shut up. No one wants your money.”
“Rude.” But she didn’t take offense. She was finally coming to realize that these men were real men.
Protective. Possessive.
A bit gruff and arrogant, but with huge hearts.
They didn’t calculate every move and make a decision based on what they thought they would get out of something. They genuinely wanted to do what was best for the people they cared about.
“So, you’re just going to wait and see what your cousin can find out?” she asked. “What is he looking for?”
“He’s going to see what your brother is up to,” Alec told her. “See if he can get to someone close to him. Meanwhile, we’ve let some key people in Haven know what is going on. Don’t worry, they won’t tell anyone else. But we have allies, and we need to use them. There will be people patrolling the grounds at all times. We have excellent security. This isn’t the first time we’ve had to protect our own.”
She sucked in a breath, leaning against Tanner tiredly. “Stefan wouldn’t understand that.”
“What, baby?” Tanner asked.
“Loyalty earned without terror. All of his men are scared of him; they follow him out of fear. Any colleagues he has either want to overthrow him or fear him doing that to them. He has no friends. I sometimes think that’s why he’s obsessed with me. I’m his. No one else’s. He wants me but can’t have me. He’s never been denied anything. But me. I know it sounds disgusting and I’m not saying it’s sexual. It’s about . . .”
“Ownership,” Alec said grimly.
“Yes. That’s why I know he’ll come for me. I understand him best.”
Alec nodded.
She tried to stifle a yawn. Tanner immediately stood with her cradled in his arms. “Lilac needs to eat and rest. But keep us updated. I’ll be with her.”
Alec nodded. “I can send Mia up with some food.”
“I don’t want to be a hassle,” she protested.
“No hassle, Lilac,” Alec told her. “You’re family now.”