Chapter Nine
T he following week passed quickly, and even though he didn’t see Apollo after their ice-skating date, they’d talked and messaged plenty. Over the phone, Jost felt he could ask questions he might not have face to face, and Apollo always answered them, which gave immense relief to Jost.
They had another date lined up and Jost was equal parts excited and nervous. He liked Apollo. Thought he was gorgeous, and he wanted to do more, but his fear held him back. Jenrick. When would he be able to move on from the shifter and what he’d put Jost through? It tainted his growing relationship with Apollo even when Jost tried to push him out of his mind. Apollo knew some of what he’d endured and Jost was lucky Apollo understood why Jost needed to go slow, but it shouldn’t be that way. They were mates and usually things between mates progressed far quicker than this.
Sighing, Jost lay back on his bed and closed his eyes, picturing Apollo in his mind. The shifter made his body heat up, and it was a feeling he hadn’t experienced in a long time. Maybe when he first began seeing Jenrick, and he’d stupidly moved in with him within a couple of months of dating. A mistake he paid a heavy price for, but one he’d learned a valuable, if painful, lesson from.
He wouldn’t make that mistake again, even if Apollo was his mate, so they would date for a while until he felt comfortable enough around him. Apollo was also a prey, and Jost was a predator. He knew they had their human side, but would Apollo really let Jost chase him and catch him? Maybe he would, but it would be a long time before Jost tested that.
Just thinking about Apollo made Jost sigh. His gorgeous mate seemed genuinely kind, but he’d been led down that path before, so he was being extra cautious now. He didn’t want to think about his ex, but since meeting Apollo, he found he couldn’t stop thinking about him and comparing what little he knew of Apollo to what he didn’t want to know about Jenrick.
Why did love have to hurt so much? Jost knew not everyone was hurt the way he had been. Not physically, at least, or emotionally. The things Jenrick had said to him made Jost question everything about himself and he hated that he became so weak because of him. He would do and say anything to keep Jenrick happy, even when it was detrimental to himself, because he thought he loved Jenrick. But over time, he realized he didn’t. He’d been living in survival mode, and when Anslem came that day, Jost found the courage to walk away.
It hadn’t been easy. He’d changed everything about himself and lost who he was in the process, but now he was finally happy again, or as close as he had been before Jenrick and then Apollo appeared.
“Jost?” Jost sat up as his door opened and Ella’s face appeared. “You hungry?”
“I guess I am a little.”
Stepping into his room, Ella asked, “Nervous about later?”
Jost bit the corner of his bottom lip as he nodded. “We’re going to the theme park near here.”
“You do love the rides, and the popcorn, and the cotton candy.” Ella smiled. “He was nice on your last date, and I’ve met him a couple of times. He seems like one of the good shifters.”
“He does.” Jost sighed and scratched his head. “I’m… hesitant, I guess.”
“And no one can blame you for being that way after what happened with him.” Jost knew his parents didn’t like to mention Jenrick by name, and he was fine with that. “But he is the past, and Apollo is your mate.”
“Which is why I’ve agreed to go on a few dates with him.” Jost shrugged and picked at one of his fingernails. Ella came over and pulled his hands apart and Jost glanced up at her, then shrugged again. “Sorry.”
“It’s a bad habit. One you developed with him. You broke it like you broke free.”
“I know,” he whispered. “I want to get over it. I thought I was.”
“You are, but finding your mate has brought up painful memories, which is understandable. Talk to Apollo more if you’re concerned that he won’t wait for you, but I’m certain he will. He knows some of what happened. Do you want me or your dad to speak—?”
“God no!” Jost blurted out. “I am an adult, you know. I can deal with this. I just need some time and lots of dates.”
Chuckling, Ella kissed his cheek. “Sorry.” She ruffled his hair, then grinned when he batted her hand away. “You’ll always be my baby.”
“Ugh! Don’t Mom. Not the baby talk.” Jost rolled his eyes. He’d heard the ‘you might be an adult, but you’ll always be my baby’ talk from Ella several times. He knew he would always be her child and that he could always turn to her and Anslem. They had seen him at his lowest point and helped to pick him up and rebuild his life. He loved them, but sometimes they needed to remember he was an actual adult now.
“Okay, I get it. You’re all grown and capable of making your own decisions. I want the best for you after you know who. I’m allowed to want that as your mother. You deserve a mate who treats you the way you should be treated, and I like Apollo. Shame he’s a zebra shifter, but he is also a leader. A good shifter who cares for his pack, or dazzle as they call it. It’s a shame not all of them have been as welcoming, but most have.” Sitting on the edge of Jost’s bed, Ella asked, “Theme park. Are you going to make him go on all the rides with you?”
“Of course I am, and he can listen to me scream as well.” Jost smiled. “It’ll be fun.”
“Maybe you’ll listen to him scream instead.” Ella sat next to him and cuddled Jost. “You should record him, so when he denies it, you can play it back.”
Jost giggled, then slapped a hand over his mouth. Moving it away, he murmured, “That’s not nice.”
“No, but it is funny.”
Jost grinned and nodded. “I should take lots of pictures as well. Nice memories.”
“Start this relationship off on a good foot, unlike—”
“Don’t. I made a mistake, and I have to live with the scars that mistake left. I don’t want to go over it anymore.”
“I’m sorry.” Ella sighed softly. “It was hard,” she murmured. “Seeing you like that.”
“I know you both tried to help me see sense, but sometimes you have to realize it for yourself. Dad coming that time…” Jost bit his lip. “He came at the right time. I think if he hadn’t come, I would still be thinking I could change him while he hurt me.”
Ella hugged him and kissed his forehead. “He’s gone now and gone for good, and you found your mate. And he is good looking, too.”
“Mom! Stop ogling my mate.” Jost gave Ella a quick smile. “He is gorgeous.”
Standing, Ella ruffled his hair again, laughing when Jost tried to knock her hand away. “Wear something warm. It’s supposed to be cold tonight. Make sure he hugs you to keep you warm.”
“Please stop, Mom.” God, it was embarrassing, but kinda nice that she wanted him to be happy. For a long time, he didn’t think he deserved to be happy, but now with Apollo he thought he should be, but slowly. Everything would go at his speed, but he did want to kiss his mate. Apollo had such kissable lips, and Jost giggled, thinking about those lips and what they could kiss.
“Come down and get something to eat before your big date.” Ella grinned, then left Jost’s bedroom and Jost sighed, then fell back on his bed. “Apollo,” he whispered his mate’s name. It sounded exotic to him, then he laughed. Apollo, the zebra shifter, and his mate. He had a mate and so far, he seemed nice, but Jost knew that could be deceptive, But he was willing to try because, as he’d thought many times, if Apollo was his mate, then he was Apollo’s mate.
Standing, Jost left his bedroom and went downstairs, sitting at the table with Anslem. “Ready for tonight?”
Had they been talking about Jost’s date with Apollo? Probably. It irked him, but at the same time it was nice to know they cared. “I think I am. We’ll see who screams the loudest.” Otto came in and ruffled Jost’s hair. Jost knocked his hand away, scowling at him. “What is it with you all messing with my hair?”
“It’s cause you’re so cute!” Otto laughed as he sat next to Anslem and far enough from Jost that Jost couldn’t hit him.
Anslem turned to say something to Ella, so Jost flipped Otto off, then smiled sweetly when Ella spotted Otto doing the same thing to him. “Otto! Stop that.”
“But he did it first.” Otto pointed at Jost. “Tell him off as well!”
“I didn’t do anything. I’m sitting here thinking about tonight and trying not to throw up.”
“Oohh, I got a date with my mate, but I’m too scared to—”
“Otto. Stop that now,” Anslem demanded.
“Why is it always me getting into trouble? I’m not the one who picked a dickhead to shack up with! I have more—”
“I know what I did. I suffered because of it, and I don’t need you throwing it back in my face. I hate you sometimes. Why did you have to have more after me? Couldn’t I have been an only child?” Jost glared at Otto, who glared back.
“Both of you need to apologize to each other.” Ella stood next to the table, holding a wooden spoon. Jost saw it and swallowed. He’d felt that on his ass when he’d decided to use Ella’s flour as fairy dust and threw it all over the living room. Not a mistake he made again.
Otto continued to glare at Jost as he muttered, “Sorry.”
Jost sighed heavily. “Same as him.”
“Jost,” Ella warned.
“Fine,” he spat. “Sorry Otto, that your single brain cell can’t function in normal society.”
“Mom!” Otto shot up and pointed at Jost. “You didn’t beat him enough as a child. Is it because he’s an omega?” Jost flipped him off, then winced when Ella cuffed him around the back of the head.
“Sorry, Otto,” Jost narrowed his eyes at Otto, who stuck his tongue out at him, then jumped back when Ella threatened him with the wooden spoon.
Freya chose that moment to walk into the kitchen. She took one look, turned on her heel, and walked back out. “Smart move,” Anslem murmured. “Not you too. Sit down and behave. Let’s try to act like a normal family for once.”
“That’ll be hard with him.” Jost pointed at Otto, who flipped him off again then sprinted from the kitchen when Ella shouted his name. “Why have him?” Jost asked. “Wasn’t one child enough? I have to tolerate that?”
“That is your brother, and it wouldn’t be so bad if you two didn’t go out of your way to annoy each other.” Anslem touched his tablet. “One day. Just one day of you two getting along would be great. Do you think you could do that?”
Jost leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. “I can try,” he mumbled. Not that he wanted to try. Otto was an annoying little fuck, and why did they have to have him? They had him and Freya. Couldn’t they go without sex after two kids? Why have a third? Ugh! Now he was thinking about his parents having sex. Gross. Who wanted to think about their parents going at it? Now he needed to bleach his eyes from the image that had just popped into his head. Eyes or his brain?
No, he needed to forget about Otto the stinky brother from hell and think about Apollo, his gorgeous mate who terrified him and made him hot all at the same time. Sighing, Jost closed his eyes and tried to forget about his non-existent brother. Otto who?