29. Cora #2
“It’s not as good as the epic farewell party I would have thrown if you’d let me,” Dot said, “but it’s better than nothing.” She handed Cora a bag from that same electronics store she’d run out of that day she crashed into me on the sidewalk.
“You guys really didn’t have to do this,” Cora insisted.
“Of course we did,” Javeed said. “It’s your going-away present.”
“And this one is great for vlogging,” Chris added. “In case you want to get into more longform content.”
It sounded like they’d taken her out to buy her something to remember the team by. I’d heard from a lot of the employees that since working with drinks was their day job, celebrations or goodbyes never involved going to a bar.
My throat went dry as they drew closer. Cora looked amazing, as always, grinning at something Dot said.
I was hit hard with a memory from high school, watching Cora come down the hall right after our breakup, looking perfectly put together while I still felt like I was sleepwalking through my days.
Which was how I’d felt since our latest breakup, too.
I fumbled to get the door open. The last thing I wanted to do was draw her attention, embarrass myself, and spoil her good mood, so I threw myself through the door like I was diving for a forward pass.
Dad looked up as I rushed in. “Someone chasing you? Or were you just trying to avoid Cora?”
“Huh?” I started. “Wait, you knew she was here?”
“Of course I did. She came over and said hi a little while ago. Said she wanted to check up on how the renovations were going.”
Cora had come to say hi to my dad? My thoughts spiraled in a million different directions as I tried to figure out what that meant.
“She’s always been a sweet girl. The kind of gem a man with any sense wouldn’t allow to get away,” he added with a pointed look in my direction.
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, Dad. You’ve made your opinion clear.
” And he had. Once he’d gotten over his apathy and hangover following the launch party, he’d had a lot to say about me ending my relationship with Cora, but I’d held firm.
“I explained this. Love isn’t a good idea for me. It makes me too irrational.”
“Love’s supposed to make you irrational,” Dad shot back. “Who on earth wants to love rationally? There’s nothing wrong with having strong feelings for someone.”
“There’s something very wrong with it when it almost makes you start a fistfight at a public event.”
“Well, that’s not the fault of your feelings. It’s the fault of your self-control,” Dad said. He walked around the bar, looking me in the eye. “You’re not a kid anymore, Aiden. It’s well past time for you to get a grip on your impulses.”
I shook my head. “That’s just the way I am. I can’t change it any more than you could change the way you were to make things work with Mom.”
Dad’s eyebrow arched in confusion. “The way I was? What the hell are you talking about?”
“You’re a workaholic.” I gestured around the half-renovated bar. “And Mom couldn’t deal with that. Even though you loved each other. It’s why your marriage didn’t last.”
Dad let out a heavy sigh as he leaned up against the bar top. “You’re not completely wrong, but you’re not completely right either. The problem in our marriage was that I was so determined to be a good provider that I lost sight of everything else. You know I grew up poor. We’ve talked about that.”
I nodded.
“My family lived paycheck to paycheck, and there was never enough to go around. I was the first one in the family to go to college, and I had to work multiple jobs and live on ramen to cover the costs even with a hefty need-based scholarship. When I married your mother, I vowed to myself that my family would never struggle like that, so I threw myself into work, making as much money as I possibly could in order to give you and your mom a good life.”
I swallowed hard. I’d heard these things before, but I’d never considered them in the context of what might have led to the divorce.
“But, I’ll admit,” Dad continued, “I was so focused on providing that I didn’t realize how much I was neglecting my relationships with you two.
When you went off to college, your mom and I realized we were basically strangers.
We were young when we married, and we’d grown up into different people who no longer had much of anything in common.
The problem wasn’t that I was too much of a workaholic or that I couldn’t change.
It was that I didn’t see the need to change until it was too late.
I was focused on the wrong things, and I lost sight of what really mattered.
But I learned my lesson.” He squeezed my shoulder.
“Your mom and I may have parted ways, but I’ve built a good relationship with you in the years since then. Haven’t I?”
“You have,” I agreed.
“And I like what I’m building with Maggie—if she can forgive me for sticking my nose in her business.
I guess what I’m trying to tell you is that it’s possible to change if you’re willing to try.
But you have to stop making excuses for yourself.
The only one responsible for your behavior is you.
If you don’t like the way you’re acting, take some anger management classes, see a therapist, do something about it—but don’t blame it on Cora, and don’t use it as a justification for pushing people away.
Having people in your life who you love gives you something to fight for—a reason to do better.
To be better. To put in the work to become the man you want to be.
Don’t miss out on that just because of some mixed-up ideas in your head.
The version of you that loves with your whole heart is always going to be the best version of you—if you’ll let it be. ”
My phone rang. I pulled it out and saw Nana Dee’s name on the screen.
“But if you don’t want to listen to me,” Dad said. “Maybe you should listen to Nana Dee. She was happily married for decades. Surely, she knows what it takes to make a relationship work.”
“Have the two of you been talking behind my back?”
“Just answer the phone.”
I did. “Hey, Dee.”
“Sorry I missed your call earlier.” She sounded tired.
“No worries,” I reassured her. “I was just calling to say hi.”
“No, you were calling to talk to me about my diagnosis. Just like Vincent and Dominic and Paul.”
“And Trent?” I added.
She tsked. “He doesn’t call. He just barges into the house and yaps my ear off.”
I laughed. “You know we all mean well. And speaking of meaning well, any plans for treatment yet?”
“No.” She huffed. “I was advised to get a second opinion, so I’m going to talk to a couple of different doctors first. No point in making any decisions until I’m certain of what’s going on. Then I’ll weigh all the factors. Besides, I know that’s not really why you called.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Tell me what’s going on with you and Cora,” Dee clarified.
I frowned, wondering who’d spilled the beans. Was it my dad? Trent? Dom? “We don’t have to—”
“Oh, we certainly do!” Dee insisted. “Now tell me what happened. Start at the beginning.”
I slumped down on the barstool beside me, relaying everything that happened with Levi and my reaction, culminating in me dumping Cora just like in high school.
“Oh, Aiden,” Dee said when I was done. “You know you’re being a coward, right?”
“I wouldn’t call myself a—”
“I love you, honey,” Dee interrupted, “and I have so much admiration for how strong and smart you are in so many ways…but when it comes to this? You’re refusing to go after what could make you happy simply because you’re afraid. Be honest with me. Be honest with yourself.”
My shoulders slumped, and the fight went out of me.
I was afraid. I was terrified that my feelings for Cora were so overwhelming they’d lead me to do something I’d regret.
And nothing about that felt simple. “You’re right,” I admitted.
“But it’s not as easy as just choosing to be happy.
Not when I can think of a million ways it could go wrong. ”
“Well, what about all the ways it could go right? Whatever obstacles you and Cora might face as a couple, don’t you think the joy you could bring each other would make it all worthwhile in the end?”
“Maybe…” I wasn’t ready to dismiss my fears—but on the other hand, I knew I hadn’t been nearly as happy as I’d been when I was with her. That much was true.
“Love comes with big feelings, Aiden. It’s about giving someone the ability to hurt you, to destroy you, but trusting them not to. You need to be someone Cora can trust. And you need to trust yourself. Trust that you can have these feelings and still make good decisions.”
I wanted to be that person.
“You’ve always loved so hard, Aiden. I’ve seen it in the way you care for your friends, for me, for Hailey.
Don’t let yourself be afraid of that now.
If you really love Cora, you’ll find a way to be the person she needs.
Of course, I’m not saying it’ll be easy.
You’ll have to put in some real effort. But since when have you been scared of hard work? ”
“I’m not,” I insisted. “But how do I know it’ll pay off in the end? How do I know I can change?”
“You don’t,” she said simply. “There are no guarantees—except that you definitely won’t change if you’re not even willing to try. If there’s a chance, though, are you really going to give up on it that easily? Doesn’t Cora deserve the man you have the potential to be?”
There was no denying that she was right.
If there was a chance that I really could change, that I could make things work to be with Cora after all…
then I had to try. I couldn’t let fear hold me back from the future we could have together.
If that meant finally taking ownership of myself and my choices, then I could do that.
I could become the person Cora needed me to be.
I could become a man worthy of a second chance… Well, maybe a third.