26. Cameron #2
“She showed up here with this giant container of barley soup, because she said she’d heard I was going through a rough patch. I wonder who could’ve given her that idea?”
“I might’ve mentioned something to her,” I admitted sheepishly.
“She wanted to drop it off and run, but I insisted she come in and share it with me. As a friend. So she did, and we talked. And then we…”
“Tyler, seriously?”
“Oh, come on. We wrote some lyrics together. Did you think I was going to say we had sex?”
“I mean…maybe?”
He shook his head. “I like her. I really like her. She’s an incredible person. But I’m not in a place where I can be a good partner to her right now. I’m still fighting some demons, and to start a relationship with my current state of mind would be a recipe for disaster. She helped me see that.”
Any reservations about Nina evaporated. She’d done the impossible.
“I’ve spent too long feeling like shit. No, scratch that. I made myself feel like shit,” Tyler admitted. “I did this to myself, and I need to acknowledge that.
“So, what’s the plan?”
The corner of his mouth kicked up. “Well, I’m going to go to rehab where I’ll talk about my baggage, then I’ll get clean and sort out my life. After that, I’ll come back and make that girl mine.”
Huh. Tyler had his life all figured out, and I was the one spiraling for a change.
He stopped packing. “What’s wrong? I thought you’d be happy to hear the news.”
“Ty, I am. You can’t even imagine how happy it makes me.”
“I don’t believe you. You look like shit.”
“You’re the second person to tell me that today, thanks.”
“Sit down,” he pointed to a chair-shaped mound of clothing in the corner of the room. “Just throw all that stuff on the ground.”
Normally I’d beg off getting into a deep discussion about my life. Tyler was usually the one in need of counseling. But this time?
Yeah, I needed his help.
I placed the clothing on the ground and eased myself onto the chair.
“Talk to me,” he said.
I was exhausted, and I didn’t feel like going into my mess, but there was something about Tyler’s face that struck me. He wanted to help me for a change.
“Well, you know about the whole CamLicity fiasco,” I began slowly.
He perched on the edge of his bed, studying me. “Yeah, I know that turned into a mess, but you’ve been through tough Veritique stuff before. It’s not just that.”
“Well, there are memes calling me ‘Boss Baby,’ so I’d say this one hits a little closer to home than most.”
He tried to stifle a laugh and wound up snorting. “Boss baby? Are you serious? That’s pretty fucking funny.”
I frowned at him.
“Sorry. Anyway, I’m not going to beg you to tell me what’s wrong, but I am going to sit here and stare at you until you do.”
I opened my mouth to start talking but couldn’t figure out how to piece my racing thoughts together.
“It’s Felicity, right?”
I let out a long exhale. “Yeah. She’s quitting.”
“Oh, come on, dude. Man up and admit what’s really bothering you. Yeah, it sucks that she’s quitting, but the way you’re moping has nothing to do with work. You’re pissed at yourself for what went down with her. At how you handled everything.”
I nodded.
“Cam, you’ve given me enough pep talks to last a lifetime. Now it’s my turn.”
“Okay.” I gave him a wry smile. “I’m all ears.”
“Here’s my summary: you’re being stupid. Just fucking admit you still care about her.”
I struggled with the thought. I’d tried to deny it for too long, and look where it’d gotten me. I needed to try being honest, starting with myself.
“…I do.”
“Okay, now we’re rolling,” Tyler said eagerly. “Time to go deep, brother. Is it more than care?”
I frowned harder at him. I wasn’t ready to go there, with him or myself.
“I don’t think I can answer that question right now,” I said, starting to feel defensive. “Besides, she wants nothing to do with me. She won’t even respond to a work email.”
I quickly checked my email on my phone and saw that I was right. No response.
“Oh, please,” Tyler said. “If anyone knows about second chances it’s me. You have to at least shoot your shot.”
I didn’t respond.
“So, you’d really be okay with letting her go? Not fighting for her? Try picturing her with another man. See how that feels.”
My hands clenched into fists.
“Pretty shitty, right?”
“Yeah,” I finally admitted.
“Cam, look at what the hell I’m doing in the pursuit of a happy ending.
The one thing I swore I’d never do. Rehab.
Me!” He grinned. “And it’s not even because she pressured me into it—it’s because I’m finally ready to take this step for myself.
I think you need to do some work of your own.
Figure your shit out. Deal with your ghosts.
And remember, your past is not your future.
Again, use me as your example. Because I’m about to win a blue ribbon for best rehab-er, and then I’m going get out and start my new life with Nina at my side.
” He paused. “You can win like that too. All you have to do is try.”
I leaned back in the rickety chair and crossed my arms. Damn it, he was right.
I’d hate myself if I didn’t try. I had to.
“So?” he asked. “Did my pep talk work? Are you feeling inspired?”
I laughed at him. “Yeah, yeah, it worked. I’m going to see what I can do.”
He punched the air. “Go me! Maybe I’ll give up this rock and roll shit and become a motivational speaker.”
“Don’t you dare,” I growled at him.
“You’re right, I’m pretty good at music.” He leaned over and grabbed his guitar. “Check this out. It’s the beginning of the song Nina and I worked on.”
He strummed what was undoubtedly his next hit and started singing about finding strength in the one you loved.
Yeah, I knew what I had to do.