Chapter 7
Drew
You know what I liked about my sister? Besides everything—though her choice in men was questionable—it was her keen eye for good stuff.
Yeah, yeah, you could argue that Braeden also qualified as “good stuff,” but I wasn’t arguing. I was too comfortable.
You know why I was too comfortable? Besides the fact that I was naked and in T’s arms.
Wait. What the hell is wrong with me? Going on and on instead of getting to the point.
Dick-drunk.
Mmhmm, T put me out here in la-la land with that dick of his. Fuck, was he good at that.
Sheets. I’m trying to tell you that the sheets covering our California king bed were utter perfection.
Soft, slightly silky, and cool to the touch.
Slipping between them without a scrap of fabric covering my body was one of life’s many pleasures.
The blanket and duvet over them were also top-notch, so much so that Andi called our bed a fluffy cloud.
After a long day, being tucked between these high-quality threads with my naked man was pretty much perfection. I mean, I didn’t even miss French fries.
What did this have to do with Ivy? She’d picked out all this bedding, duh. Girl was a certified shopaholic.
Trent’s palm grazed along the side of my thigh, curving over my hip and settling where my waist dipped in above it. “What’s going on in that blond head of yours?”
“I like this bed,” I replied, voice sounding just as dick-drunk as the rest of me felt.
Right after our heated shower, we hastily dried and stumbled into bed in the dark. Overhead, the ceiling fan whirred, and Ketchup snored at the foot of the bed. We were on our sides facing each other, blankets piled high and creating a soft separation between us and the rest of the world.
“I like you in this bed.”
There he went again. A professional one-upper. Probably why Gamble kept giving him raises.
“You think Andi will sleep through the night?” I asked. After what she’d gone through earlier, I’d be surprised if she did.
“We should probably put some clothes on just in case she crawls into bed with us.”
“Not yet,” I said, scooting closer until our chests were pressed together. “Five more minutes.”
Trent laughed under his breath, the sexy rumble doing unexplained things to my insides. I draped my arm over his waist and pushed my leg between his. He tugged me closer, adjusting so his leg was pinning my lower half and his arm was around me with nimble fingers carding through my damp hair.
“People always talk about when babies won’t sleep through the night or when they hit the terrible twos,” I murmured, drawing patterns on Trent’s chest with my fingers.
“No one ever talks about how hard it is when your kids get older. When they want to use that independence you tried so hard to teach them. You suddenly worry that you weren’t enough and the world is just too cruel. ”
Trent’s entire hand enveloped the back of my head, rubbing against my scalp as he hummed over my words. “There is not a timeline in the entire universe where you are not enough.”
“I want to be home more,” I confessed.
Trent pulled back just enough so he could search my face. “You mean retiring from racing?”
I nodded. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while. The kids are getting older. Travis is a senior this year. Andi is practically a teenager.”
“She’s eleven.” Trent amended.
“Almost twelve,” I refuted. “And tonight was scary as fuck. It just made me even more convinced that this is the right move.”
“We’re gonna find this woman,” he said, absolute conviction in his voice. “I will not stop until she’s punished for what she did tonight.”
“I know.” I agreed. That woman didn’t stand a chance with this family. But it wasn’t just that. “I want to spend more time with them. I want to be at all of Trav’s games and under the hood of the Mach 1 we’re buying him. I want to take Andi to ballet and pick her up from school.”
“You do that stuff now, baby.”
I shook my head. “It isn’t enough.” I made a sound, frustrated that I couldn’t quite put into words the way I felt. “I don’t want my dreams to get in the way of theirs.”
Trent pulled back, the whites of his eyes flashing in the dim room. “That’s what you think?”
“No. Yes. I—”
Trent reached between us to grasp my chin. “You aren’t him.” His voice was gentle, but his eyes were firm. “Do you understand me, Drew?”
I never thought being a parent would give me daddy issues… but here I was.
A rough sound burst out of me, releasing pent-up pressure. “I know that.” My heart squeezed with a fissure of panic, and I grappled for T’s steadiness. “What if I turn into him, though?”
Trent’s eyes softened, his face the picture of understanding and empathy. “How could that ever happen?” he asked, trying to understand my fear instead of denying it.
I appreciated that. The way Trent considered things instead of immediately dismissing them.
“With him…” I began, not saying his name.
I’d never call him dad again. He lost the right to that title when he forced Trent away from my hospital bed.
“It was always about what he wanted. He was so busy always trying to make everything the way he thought it should be, he never looked around to see how it could be. It was his way or no way, and for so long, I wanted his approval.” My eyes bounced between Trent’s.
“He never asked me what I wanted. He never spent time learning about me. It’s like… ”
“Like what, baby?” T encouraged. Listening. Trent was always listening. If not with his ears, then his heart.
“He only knew the version of me he created. He never bothered to get to know the person I was.”
And that hurt. It really fucking hurt.
Trent’s thumb stroked across my cheekbone, and he leaned in, laying his lips on mine to quiet my silent heartbreak.
I sighed into him, and he took the pain, kissing it away.
The gentle coaxing of his tongue was unhurried and thorough in its comfort.
Sometimes I didn’t even know this shit was inside me until something happened and I was suddenly staring into its face.
Our lips broke apart with a soft suctioning sound, and his caressed my forehead when I dipped my chin.
“Even after all these years, I still don’t know how to be a parent,” I confessed quietly. “But I damn sure know what kind I don’t want to be.”
“For the record, I think our kids are fucking lucky to have you. And so am I.”
I was the lucky one. “I’ve had it all,” I answered. “The career of my dreams, money, kids. You. And you know what it’s taught me?”
“What’s that?”
“I don’t need it all. Just you. And my kids.”
“Driving is part of you,” Trent said. “Motor oil in your veins, remember?”
I smiled. “I will always love driving, and I won’t stop. I’ll just shift gears a little. Besides, now that I’m forty, it’s getting harder to keep all the young drivers off my taillights. I’d rather go out on top than leave because I start sucking.”
Trent grinned. “You sound like Braeden.”
My brother could have returned to football after a long recovery from his knee injury, but he knew he wouldn’t be the same. I couldn’t blame the dude for not wanting to watch his Hulk status shrivel.
“I admit, with him and Romeo both retired now… the grass is looking hella green on the other side.”
“So what do you want to do?” Trent asked like he was opening a book of endless possibilities and telling me to pick one.
“For now, a dad and husband are enough. In the future? Who knows.”
“I just want you to be happy, Drew. So if you’re ready to retire and that will make you happy, I’m all for it.”
“You won’t miss being married to a pro driver?”
His lips twisted. “I think I can live without the constant worry for your safety.”
“You almost die one time,” I muttered sardonically.
“Once was way more than enough,” Trent deadpanned.
He was right. It had been hell. Yet he still supported me when I made a comeback and didn’t slow down since. I knew it was stressful for him, but he never complained.
“There is one thing I will miss,” he said, a little tongue-in-cheek.
Color me intrigued. I met his eyes. “Yeah? What’s that?”
“Your racing suit.”
Surprise and humor rippled through me. “What?”
“So fucking hot.”
I threw back my head and laughed. Wrapping my arms around him, I snuggled closer. “Is that why you always jump me after races?” I said, kissing along his jaw. “I just thought it was the adrenaline.”
His hands reached around for my ass, digging his fingers into muscle. “A man has to keep some secrets.”
I made a mental note to bring the suit home.
“T?” I asked, pulling back after some mild making out. “You sure you’re okay with me retiring?”
“As long as you’re doing it because you want to and not because you feel like you have to.”
“This is what I want,” I confirmed. After talking it out with my guy, I was even more convinced than before that this was what I wanted. Besides, I’d always be a driver.
I might be coming to the end of one track, but there was a whole highway out there I’d yet to travel.