Chapter Eight
Eight
Alistair
I make the best and most out of everything that comes my way.
“It’s getting late,” I said, trailing two fingers along the curve of Pam’s breast.
“I know.” She turned toward me, running her hands through my chest hair and snuggling closer. “I just don’t want you to go.”
“I wish I didn’t have to, but I don’t want Chai to worry.”
Pam nodded.
“I’m going to miss you,” I admitted, kissing the top of her head. My fucking chest ached at the very thought of leaving her, at the idea that this was the end of us.
“I’m going to miss you, too. So much.”
“Pam, uh, what do you want to tell our kids? They’re going to ask about what happened.”
We were both close with our children, but I wasn’t sure how much of this we wanted to share with them.
Pam’s hand stilled over my heart. “I mean, mine know about the kiss.” She took a deep breath. “But I think I’d like to keep the fact that we slept together between us.”
I couldn’t blame her. I was the first partner she’d had since Don, and we’d slept together on our first date. I had no issue with that.
I was happy about it.
Some things are that much better when they’re kept secret.
“I agree. I think it’s for the best.” I placed one more kiss on her head before rolling out of bed.
Pam followed suit, and I admired her nude form before she grabbed a robe from the back of the door and wrapped it around her.
We were silent while I got dressed, a sadness settling over us, making it difficult to speak.
As I finished buttoning my shirt, Pam stepped close and grabbed my hand.
“Ready?” she asked, her voice a low whisper.
I nodded, and we walked down the hall together, then descended the stairs.
“Come here,” I said, pulling her to me while we stood in the foyer.
She wrapped her arms around my waist and placed her head on my chest. “Promise me you’ll come back and visit.”
I slid my hand underneath her chin and tilted her face up so she was looking at me. “I promise.”
I leaned over and kissed her, using my actions to say everything I couldn’t put into words.
This wasn’t the end for us.
It couldn’t be.
I wouldn’t let it be.
This was just the beginning.
Pam pulled away and looked at me, tears welling up in her eyes. “Can I text you?”
I had to fight back my own tears. I hated seeing her like this, knowing that I was responsible for causing her, for causing us, this pain. “Please text me. Call me. Send smoke signals. Whatever you want.”
A tear trailed down her cheek, but she gave me a little laugh. “Thank you for today, Al.”
“No, thank you, Pam. Truly. You’re a wonderful woman, and I had an amazing day.”
While I put on my jacket, Pam dug through the bag of books.
“Here. I expect a play-by-play when you get around to reading it.” She handed me the book about ice-planet aliens, and I ran my hand over the cover.
Something to remember her by. I’d start it on the plane ride back to Colorado and text her as soon as I landed. “Thank you.”
Pam glanced at where her scarf hung by the door. “I want you to have one more thing.” She grabbed it and wrapped it around my neck.
“Pam, I can’t take this,” I said, rubbing the well-loved material between my fingers.
“Please. I want you to have it.”
I put my hand on her waist and leaned over, bringing my face closer to hers. “Kiss me one more time,” I whispered, brushing her hair away from her face. “Please.”
She gripped the collar of my jacket and pulled me toward her until our lips touched in a quick kiss. “Bye, Alistair,” she whispered against my mouth.
“Bye, Pam.”
I opened the door and gave her a wistful smile before I stepped outside and closed the door behind me.
My eyes teared up as I started my car and pulled out of the driveway. Normally, I wasn’t much of a crier, but this killed me.
This might have been goodbye, but this wasn’t the end.
—
Chai greeted me the second I walked through the front door. “Hey there, Mr. Romance. That was quite the date you were on.”
I hoped she didn’t grill me too much. I wasn’t in the mood. I really just wanted to go to bed.
I shrugged and took off Pam’s scarf and my jacket, tucking the book under my arm. “It was fine.”
Chai gave me a sideways glance. “Just fine? You were out with Mrs. Rollins all freaking day, Dad. And I heard from Tegan that you kissed at the skating rink.”
My tail twitched in annoyance. Pam and I were right to keep the fact that we’d slept together between the two of us.
“We did. We were caught up in the moment. That’s all that happened.” I stalked off to the kitchen, hoping it was the end of Chai’s questioning, but she followed behind me.
“Dad…”
“What?” I huffed as I set the book on the table and poured myself a glass of whiskey. I needed a drink.
“Are you okay?” She seemed genuinely concerned.
I sat at the kitchen table and dug my palms into my eyes. “I really like her, Chai,” I whispered.
“Oh, Dad,” she said with a sigh and rubbed my back. “And I thought you’d be the one breaking hearts.”
I snorted and took a deep swig of my drink. “Nope. Very much heartbroken.”
Chai was quiet for a few minutes like she didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t blame her. Here she was counseling her father, who was heartbroken after one date.
An amazing date with an amazing woman.
She sat down next to me. “You know, you don’t have to leave.”
I swirled my glass and peered over at her. “My business is in Colorado, honey. I have to go back.”
“Maybe you do right now, but you’ve been working remotely for the past month, and it’s been fine.
Plus, you’re going to have to retire at some point.
” She put her head on my shoulder, careful not to poke me with her stubby horns.
“I’m just saying that if you think this is something you want to pursue, you should go for it. Life is too short to live with regret.”
I laughed and took another drink. “There you go with that advice again, kid.”
“I’m good at giving it, bad at taking it.” She stood up from the table and gripped my shoulder. “Just think about it, Dad. I love you.”
I placed my hand over hers and gave it a little squeeze. “I love you, too, honey.”