9. Survive first, identity crisis later.
Chapter nine
Survive first, identity crisis later...
Nick
N ick floated up through layers of consciousness, each one lighter than the last. No startling jolt, no surge of adrenaline—just a gradual ascent from the deepest sleep he experienced in years.
His mind registered this unusual awakening with distant surprise, waiting for the familiar panic to set in.
It didn’t come.
His muscles remained loose, unclenched for the first time since... he couldn’t remember when. His breathing continued in deep,evenpatterns without conscious effort. His remaining hand lay open beside him, fingers relaxed rather than curled into a protective fist.
Warmth surrounded him—not the burning heat of fever but something gentle and encompassing.
The hospital blankets felt different somehow, their weight a comfort rather than a restraint.
The pain in his armreceded to a distant whisper, noticeable beneath the profound sensation of restthatfilled his body.
Nick’s mind cataloged his surroundings without urgency.
He wasn’t in the box under Gianmarco’s bed.
Not the hard metal of the truck bed. Not a Society safe house cot with its military corners and scratchy wool.
Hospital room. But it felt... safe. The word formed in his mind without permission, foreign yet undeniable.
Something else lingered at the edges of his awareness—the ghost of music. A haunting melodythatfollowed him through the night, weaving through his dreams. He couldn’t quite grasp it now, but the emotional resonance remained—melancholy yet strangely comforting, like hope discovered in darkness.
The sensation of being held surfaced next—not trapped or restrained, but protected. The memory feltjustbeyond reach, more impression than detail. Someone had watched over him, kept him safe while he was vulnerable. The idea felt so foreign he almost pushed it away.
Nick’s eyes finally opened, taking in the bathroom ceiling. Bathroom? His brow furrowed as confusion set in. Last he remembered, he was in the hospital bed with Luka’s hand on his forehead, pain disappearing as sleep claimed him.
How had he ended up here?
Embarrassment heated his cheeks as he pushed himself to sitting position. Had he sleepwalked? Crawled here seeking smaller spaces? What had Luka seen?
Nick assessed his physical state with growing surprise. No dizziness accompanied the movement. His arm supported his weight without trembling. The burning infectionsubsided to a manageable ache. For the first time in weeks, he felt genuinely rested.
His gaze found Luka sitting across from him on the bathroom floor, wedged between the sink and wall. The vampire looked comfortable despite the cramped position, a paperback book open in his hands. He glanced up, eyes reflecting concern rather than judgment.
“How did I get in here?”Nick asked, voice clearer than it had been in days.
Luka set his book aside and shrugged.
Nick studied the vampire’s face for signs of deception but found none.
No smug satisfaction, no pity, no disgust—justpatient presence.
The hunter voice in his headseemedquieter, its urgent warnings reduced to background murmurs.
The broken part of him remained, but didn’t scream for submission.
Something else emerged in their place—a cautious curiosity, a tentative gratitude.
Maybe... maybe I can trust this.Justa little.
His attention caught on a large bag beside Luka. It bulged with supplies—bottles of water, packaged snacks, what looked like folded clothing.
Luka gestured to the items then back to Nick.
Nick stared at the bag, something catching in his throat. When was the last time someone bought him things? Not as payment or bribery, but simply because he needed them? The Society provided equipment, not comfort. Gianmarco only gave gifts as control mechanisms. This was... different.
He wanted to say thank you, but the words stuck behind his teeth. Gratitude created debt. Debt created vulnerability. Vulnerability meant pain. The logical progression had been beaten into him too thoroughly to ignore.
Yet the warmth in his chest felt real. Honest. The desire to acknowledge Luka’s kindness fought against years of conditioning.
Nick carefully pushed himself to his feet, testing his balance. His body responded with surprising strength, movements more coordinated than they’d been in days. Luka watched without hovering, ready to help if asked but not assuming Nick needed assistance.
“I should...”Nick gestured vaguely toward the main room, not quite meeting Luka’s eyes.
The vampire nodded, gathering the bag of supplies as he rose with fluid grace. He stepped back, giving Nick space to pass, maintaining the careful distancethathad characterized their entire interaction.
As Nick moved toward the door, he paused, words forming before he could stop them.
“Thank you,”he said quietly.“For the stuff. And for...”He gestured at the bathroom floor, unable to articulate what he didn’t fully understand himself.
Luka’s smile reached his eyes as he signed a simple response:?You’re welcome.?
***
Nick pulled the bag closer to him on the bed, systematically examining its contents.
The methodical inventory gave his hands something to do while his mind processed the unfamiliar sensation of being cared for.
Each item was still factory sealed, untampered with—protein bars in various flavors, packets of crackers, chocolate bars, and several bottles of water.
The selection wasn’t random. Everything could be eaten quickly if necessary, required no preparation, wouldn’t spoil if hidden away for days. Nothingthatneeded refrigeration or cooking. Nothingthatwould make noise when opened. Survival food.
Luka settled into a chair across the room, opening his book without comment. The vampire didn’t stare or hover,justcreated a bubble of companionable quiet.
Nick unwrapped a protein bar and took a small bite, his eyes darting up at Luka to see if he was in trouble for actually eating it, but the vampire didn’t look up from his book.
When was the last time he’d actually tasted food?
The Society provided nutrition—bland, calculated calories to fuel missions.
Gianmarco used meals as rewards, feeding him exotic delicacies from his fingers.
Neither experience had been about enjoyment or sustenance, justcontrol in different forms.
This was different. No one watching for gratitude. No one measuring his consumption against some hidden metric.Justfood because his body needed it.
Nick finished the protein bar and reached for a second, movements more relaxed now. His hypervigilance eased enoughthathe could focus on the taste rather than scanning for threats.Justeating because he was hungry, without fear, felt like something new.
He glanced up again at the same time Luka looked up, noticing Nick’s gaze, and smiled. Something fluttered in Nick’s chest atthatsmile. Not fear. Not the calculated arousal Gianmarcoconditioned. Something warm and unexpected. The sensation confused him, impossible to categorize or control.
He opened a bottle of water, taking a long drink while studying Luka over the rim. The vampire had returned to his book, giving Nick space to eat without scrutiny. Every movement, every choice Luka madeseemedcalculated to avoid making Nick feel trapped or observed.
Questions formed in Nick’s mind, pressing against his teeth.
He wanted to ask about Luka’s life, his past, how long he’d been a vampire.
The desire to know more about someone else hadn’t surfaced in years.
Everything had been reduced to tactical information gathering.
Is this person a threat? An asset? A target?
But this felt different. He wanted to know Luka as a person, notjustevaluate him as a potential danger.
Nick hesitated, afraid conversation would shatter the peaceful moment. Would asking questions reveal a vulnerability through curiosity?
“How old are you?”The question escaped before he could reconsider.
Luka looked up, surprise crossing his features before he set his book aside. He held up a hand, flashing one finger, forming a zero, andthenall five fingers.
“105?” Nick guessed.
A nod, accompanied bythatdamn smile again.
Thatwarmth returned to his chest, stronger this time. He found himself relaxing further into the bed, tension loosening as he allowed himself to enjoy Luka’s presence. Justbeing in the moment with another person.
“Do you have family still around?”Nick asked.
Luka nodded and retrieved his phone from his pocket.
He swiped at the screen before turning it around to show Nick his lock screen.
The photo showed three men sitting on a worn leather couch.
Nick immediately recognized Luka in the middle, his beard shorter but unmistakable.
On one side sat a massive man with dark eyes and a perpetual scowl, looking annoyed at being photographed.
On Luka’s other side was a clean-shaven man with the same face as Luka, grinning at the camera.
“Brothers?”
Luka nodded, his expression softening as he looked at the image.
“The grumpy one is older?”Nick guessed.
Another nod, accompanied by a small smile.
“And the happy one is younger?”
Luka shook his head. He made a“V”with his index and middle fingers,thentapped the shape on either side of his mouth before mouthing“twin.”
Nick repeated the gesture.“Twin,”he said aloud, committing the sign to memory.
Luka’s face lit up at being understood, his pleasure evident in the enthusiastic thumbs-up he offered.
Nick found himself smiling in return—a small, hesitant expressionthatfelt wrong on his face.
“Where are you from?”The questions kept coming, each one easier than the last.
Luka spelled out Macedonia with his fingers.
“What’s your favorite music?”Nick surprised himself with a question so utterly non-tactical, purely personal.
Luka’s eyes brightened. He made a flowing motion with his hands, spreading his arms wide.
“Everything?”
Another nod.
The day continued this way—simple questions, simple answers, building a peaceful routine in their shared space. His defenses remained at their lowest point since capture, constant vigilance quieted to whispers.
He finished a second protein bar, savoring the last bite. For the first time in years, he felt likejust... Nick. Whoeverthatwas anymore.
The unfamiliarity of being genuine felt both thrilling and terrifying—like stepping onto thin ice, unsure if it would hold his weight but needing to cross anyway.
***
Luka’s phone buzzed aggressively, vibrating across the table with multiple notifications in rapid succession. Nick watched the vampire’s expression transform—relaxed to concerned to alarmed in seconds. The peaceful bubble they’d created popped.
Nick’s muscles tensed.“What is it?”
Luka read the messages, face darkening as his fingers flew across the screen. He stood abruptly and turned the phone screen toward Nick, showing a message:
Jae-Jae
Hospital admin doing surprise audit on pharmacy orders. Three people in suits asking about antibiotic prescriptions. They’re lying about who they are.
That sounds familiar…
“Can he send a picture?”Nick asked, his voice coming out raspier than it normally was.
Luka texted while Nick’s panic rose, certain he lulled himself into a false sense of security when no one came after killing Henderson.
What the hell am I doing? Caleb’s still out there, still needs me, and I’m sitting here letting myself feel comfortable. Safe. When hasthatever been real?
Never .
The phone buzzed again and Luka showed him the image of three people in professional suits, two wearing lanyards with clipboards.
“Oh, God.”Nick pointed at the familiar face as he felt a cold prickling on the back of his neck.
“That’s Owen. Society fixer. He shows up when there’s human resistance.
”Owen’s voice echoed in his memory—calm, reasonable, delivering corrections at the end of his fists when Nick’s performance disappointed.
Luka looked confused at Nick’s terror.
“They’re here to kill me.”
Luka’s expression hardened, his neck tilting with a wince like the motion hurt,thenhe launched into motion and started collecting gear and materials without hesitation.
“Where can we go?”
Luka typed into his phone:
Have a plan. Follow me?
Nick nodded. He wasn’t ready to die—not here, not now, not when Caleb was still out there somewhere, trapped in Marcus Graves’s web of manipulation. His brother needed him.
What if Marcus is like Luka? What if the safest place for Caleb is with Marcus. He was strong, heseemedto—
STOP IT! The hunter exploded back to life in his mind. Nick winced. Survive first , identity crisis later .
The phone buzzed one final time:
Jae-Jae
Stalling as long as possible, but they’re persistent.
East wing next,thenabandoned section. Get out now.
Nick steeled himself, allowing the hunter to rise back to the surface.
Survival first. Everything else later.