28. The difference between love and obligation.
Chapter twenty-eight
The difference between love and obligation...
Luka
L uka choked up when he saw Matteo waiting for him in the VIP hallway. His twin looked... alive. Truly alive in a way Luka hadn’t seen in months, maybe years.
The hollow cheekshadfilledout, no longer sharp angles cutting shadows across his face.
The dark circles under his eyes vanished, leaving his jade green eyes—mirror images of Luka’s own—bright and alert instead of dull with exhaustion.
His skin had color again, supple and warm-looking rather than the gray, paper-thin texture it took on during his worst periods.
Even his hair seemed more vibrant, catching the black light of the VIP area with subtle highlights.
?Matteo,?Luka started, his hands trembling with relief.?You look...?
?Better??Matteo’s smilewasgenuine, if a little uncertain. His signs carried their old fluid grace instead of the careful economy of movement that came with severe weakness.?I feel better. More like myself.?
Luka wanted to ask how, wanted to know what worked when decades of careful coaxing and donated blood bags failed.
But Ophelia’s casual mention earlier echoed in his mind—something about“amateur surgery”and“holding him down”and“gastric tube”—and he decided he didn’t actually want the details right now.
What matteredwasthat Matteowashere, present, vibrant in ways that made Luka feel like he was on the verge of tears.
?I missed you,?Luka said, stepping closer. For the first time in months, being near his twin didn’t carry the weight of impending crisis. No scent of starvation, no tremor in Matteo’s hands that suggested hewashours away from losing control.
?I missed you too,?Matteo replied, his expression growing more complex.?But I understand why you needed to stay away.?
The careful understanding in Matteo’s face, the gentle acceptance, the implication that Lukaabandoned him deliberately—it sparked something hot and defensive.
?What’s that supposed to mean??Luka furrowed his brow, trying to figure out why that was making him feel so terrible. It wasn’t a slight, was it?
Matteo’s eyes widened at the change in tone.?I just meant with your human, with Nick. I know you needed to focus on helping him, and Iwasn’t... available for conversation.?
?My human??Luka felt heat flooding his face, his arms crossing tightly over his chest in a defensive barrier.?Is that what everyone’s calling him??
?Luka, I didn’t mean—?
?No, apparently that’s what I do now.?Luka began pacing, his movements jerky with agitation, arms uncrossing as the need to sign overcame his defensive posture.?I abandon my twin brother for some broken Society hunter and everyone just understands why I needed to stay away.?
Matteo watched him pace, confusion clear in his expression, his fingers twitching with barely restrained responses.?That’s not what I said.?
?It’s what you meant.?Luka’s signs became larger, more aggressive, his whole body involved in the communication as he stepped closer to his twin.?Poor Matteo, so understanding about his brother finally getting tired of dealing with his shit.?
?Stop.?Matteo’s face hardened, his own signs taking on an edge Luka rarely saw, and he moved forward to match Luka’s proximity, their signing space beginning to overlap.?That’s not what I said and you know it.?
?Then what did you say??Luka’s hands moved with sharp, angry precision, close enough now that they nearly brushed Matteo’s face.?Because it sounded like you pitying yourself while making excuses for me.?
For a moment they stared at each other in the pulsing black light, standing too close for comfortable conversation, but neither willing to back down. Their identical jade eyes caught the lighting differently in their fury, shadows and highlights making their faces look like warped mirror images.
When Matteo spoke again, his signs carried an assertiveness that caught Luka off guard, his hands moving aggressively in the small space between them.
?You want to know what I meant??Matteo’s gestures grew bigger, more forceful, nearly invading Luka’s face as his hands jabbed the air for emphasis.?I meant that for the first time in decades, you found something that mattered more than managing my fucking problems. And Iwasglad for you.?
The profanity from his gentle twinwasso unexpected that Luka took a step back.
?I saw how you looked the past few months,?Matteo continued, his signs sharp and pointed now, fingers jabbing the air for emphasis, moving closer again to close the gap Luka created.
?Like someonehadlita fire inside you.
Likeyou’dfoundsomething thatwasn’tjust keeping me from going feral every few months.
And yeah, I understood why you needed to follow that instead of sitting by my bedside waiting for me to waste away again. ?
?I didn’t want to abandon you—?
?I never said you did!?Matteo’s hands sliced through the air with unusual vehemence, his gestures so large they forced Luka to lean back.?But maybe Iwastiredof being the reason you refused to have a life!?
The words hung between them like a challenge. Luka felt something crack open in his chest, months of carefully controlled frustration flooding to the surface. His arms uncrossed as anger overtook defense.
?You think I didn’t want a life??Luka’s signs became wild, expansive, his whole body radiating anger as he moved forward again, their hands nearly colliding in the space between them.
?You think I enjoy watching everyone else find something meaningful while I’m stuck in endless cycles of crisis management? ?
?No one asked you to manage my crises!?Matteo’s responsewasimmediate, his hands nearly colliding with Luka’s still-gesturing fingers.
?Someonehadto!?Luka snapped.?Someonehadto make sure you didn’t hurt innocent people when you went feral. Someonehadto hold you down while Ophelia and Petrov shoved a tube down your throat because youwereliterally dying rather than accept help!?
Matteo flinched at the reference to past forced feedings, his entire body recoiling as if struck, but his hands remained ready to sign, arms refusing to cross in surrender.?And that someone alwayshadto be you??
?Who elsewasit going to be??Luka’s face felt too hot, his muscles too tight.
?MarcushasCaleb. VincenthasAdam. Petrovhandles the diner when you can’t.
Everyone else gets to build something, gets to grow, gets to fall in love.
And I get to be the designated caretaker for my broken twin who won’t even tell me why he’s broken! ?
?I don’t know why!?Matteo grimaced and slapped his chest for emphasis.?You think I want to be this way? You think I enjoy not being able to feed like a normal vampire? You think I like watching our entire family make decisions based on whether ‘Matteo is going to be okay this month’??
Luka’s hands twitched at his sides, wanting to respond but caught off guard by the emotional honesty. The pulsing black light made Matteo’s face look almost ethereal in his anguish, highlighting the desperation in his teary eyes.
?Then fix it!?The demand burst from Luka’s hands before he could stop it.?Figure out what’s wrong with you and fix it so we can both stop living like this!?
?I can’t!?Matteo’s face contorted with frustration, taking a few steps back as he continued,?I don’t know how!
I wish I could just not care where the blood comes from, I wish I could hunt like you do, I wish I could drink from bags without feeling like I’m stealing from people who need it more. But I can’t make myself stop caring!?
?So what, I’m supposed to give up everything forever because you have moral complications about being a vampire??
?I never asked you to give up anything!?Matteo stopped stepping back, his hands forming sharp, precise movements that carried decades of suppressed emotion.
?I never asked you to be my caretaker. I never asked you to put your life on hold for me.
I never asked you to feel guilty every time you want something for yourself! ?
The words hit Luka like a slap. His handswent still, dropping to his sides as the truth of Matteo’s words sank in.
?You want to know what I want??Matteo continued, his signs calmer but still intense, stepping back to give them both breathing room.
?I want to live in our dumb little farmhouse and run my restaurant where I get to make food that makes humans happy.
I want to figure out how to feed without feeling like a monster, and if I can’t, I want to find a way to live with that.
I want you to have whatever makes you feel alive, whether that’s Nick or someone else or just the freedom to make choices without wondering if I’m going to fall apart. ?
Luka stared at Matteo, seeing him clearly for perhaps the first time in decades.
Not as a problem to be solved or a crisis to be managed, but as a person with his own wants and fears and complicated feelings about the situationthey’dboth been trapped in.
?I’ve been taking care of you for eighty years,?Luka said, his shoulders slumping as some of the anger began to fade.
?And I never asked you to.?Matteo’s expression grew gentle again, but his signs remained firm, his posture straight and unyielding.
?You decided thatwasyour job. You made yourself responsible for fixing me without ever asking if I wanted to be fixed or if I wanted you to sacrifice your happiness for mine. ?
The truth of it settled in Luka’s chest like a weight. He made himself Matteo’s caretaker. He chose that role, and wore it like armor against the guilt of being unable to fix his brother. His hands hung loose at his sides as he processed this realization.
?I don’t know how to not take care of you,?Luka admitted, his signs small and uncertain now, a stark contrast to the aggressive gestures of moments before.
?You don’t have to stop caring,?Matteo said, his movements growing softer, stepping back to normal conversational distance for the first time since the argument began.?You just have to stop making my problems your only priority.?
They stood facing each other, their hands silent. Luka felt emptied out, wrung dry, but also strangely relieved. Like a pressurehe’dbeen carrying for almost a centuryhadfinally been released.
?I love you,?Luka said, the words feeling both enormous and simple, his hands moving with gentle precision in the proper space between them.
?I love you too,?Matteo replied, a small smile on his face as bloody tears dripped down his face.?That’s why I want you to be happy. Even if it means living separate lives sometimes.?
Without conscious thought, Luka stepped forward and pulled his twin into a fierce embrace. Matteo melted into it, his arms coming up to wrap around Luka’s shoulders. They held each other tight for a long moment, and then—like theywereseven years old again—they pressed their foreheads together.
The gesturewasrare now, reserved for their most profound moments of connection. But it still carried the same meaning ithadwhen theywerechildren: we are two parts of the same whole, even when we’re apart .
?I’m scared to live without being your caretaker,?Luka admitted, his hands forming the words in the small pace between their bodies
?I’m scared to live without being taken care of,?Matteo replied.?But maybe it’s time we both tried.?
When they pulled apart, something fundamentalhadshiftedbetween them. The desperate codependence that defined their relationship since their turning cracked open, making room for something healthier to grow in its place.
?Go back to Nick,?Matteo said, his smile warm and genuine.?Help him heal. Let me figure out how to help myself for once.?
?And if you need me??
?I’ll ask,?Matteo promised.?Instead of just waiting for you to notice I’m struggling.?
?And if I need you??
?I’ll be here.?Matteo gestured toward the main room where their family gathered.?Not as your burden to carry, but as your brother who loves you.?
Together, they walked back toward the voices and laughter of their chosen family—not as caretaker and patient, but as two people whohadfinally learned the difference between love and obligation.