Chapter 29
Celine
By the time I got Julian to bed and Ellie and Maggie washed up and tucked in with books, my annoyance had turned into legitimate anger.
“Do you mind if I take a quick walk?” I asked the girls.
“Sure. My phone’s plugged in,” Ellie said, frowning. “You okay?”
“Yes.” I nodded. “I borrowed some tools from Josh. I’m just going to return them before I forget.”
She studied me, lips pursed skeptically.
“Lights out in fifteen minutes,” I said. “I can see your window from the road, so I’ll know.”
“Fine,” they grumbled.
I dropped a kiss on each of their foreheads, then jogged downstairs and slipped on my Crocs and coat before I could change my mind.
I found him on his porch, in a rocking chair.
“Were you waiting for me?” I asked as I climbed the steps.
“I’d sit here and wait for you every night,” he said with the kind of cocky grin that made my knees weak.
And my body’s reaction only made me more annoyed.
“This isn’t—” I paused, grasping for courage I didn’t actually possess. “We had sex.”
In response, he only continued smirking.
I put my hands on my hips, scowling. “It does not mean you need to protect me. I can protect myself and my kids.”
He dipped his chin. “I know.”
“And you don’t get to force me into car maintenance.”
“I was just trying to help.”
I stepped up close, my knees nearly brushing his, and loomed over him. “I don’t need help.”
He reached out and tugged my arm firmly, pulling me into his lap.
“There,” he said, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “Better. Now what were you saying?”
A wave of heat coursed through me, part anger, part attraction. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Be all helpful and protective and thoughtful.”
“You’re so sexy when you’re pouting.” He picked up one of my hands and kissed my knuckles. The move was sweet and gentle but also surprisingly erotic.
“And I can’t help myself,” he said. “Please forgive me for overstepping. You’re strong and capable and amazing.”
He kissed the knuckles on my other hand, his lips lingering longer, causing goose bumps to erupt all over my body.
“I have feelings for you, Celine. The deep desire to protect you and the kids. I’ll try harder to tamp it down. But it’s part of who I am.”
Fuck. I deflated, because it was impossible to deny how hot that sentiment was.
Beneath me, he hardened, his hot length pressing against my thigh.
“We can’t do it again,” I said, more to convince myself than him.
“Okay. I respect your boundaries. But just know that I’m here for you and the kids. For anything. Anytime.”
Had a sexier sentence ever been uttered? Probably not, which was why my brain stupidly decided it would be a great idea to kiss him.
Not because I was weak or needed help, but because I was strong, and for too long, I’d denied myself what I wanted. And in this moment, I really wanted him.
“Goddamn,” he said into my mouth, wrapping those strong arms around me as I threaded my fingers through my hair.
“Shut up and kiss me.” I dove back in, my teeth clacking against his. I couldn’t be bothered to care. The connection was hot and heavy, and I needed more of it. I wanted to feel cared for yet independent. Delicate yet strong.
I straddled him, gripping his hair as he kissed a trail down my neck. When he found a spot that lit me up inside, I rolled my hips.
The moan he let out was feral. Pure need. So I did it again, nerve endings I didn’t even know existed sparking to life. It had been so long and I was so turned on.
“Celine.” He pulled back, breathless. “Can I fuck you?”
I stared into his eyes, my body swamped with want and need.
“Yes.” I kissed him again. “Yes, please.”
He carried me into the house, his grip on my ass keeping me in place.
“You sure?” he asked again.
“Yes.”
We landed on the couch, and he snagged a small remote control from the end table, using it to turn on the gas fireplace.
The space lit up with a dim, sexy light and glowing warmth.
“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he said, unzipping my fleece slowly. “Fuck, Celine, I’ve tried.”
“Same.” I kissed him back, unable to put into words just how needy he made me. “But I don’t have a lot of time.”
He stopped and sat back, cupping my face.
“You’re in control,” he said. “This is about you. We can stop now. Or—”
“Don’t. Fucking. Stop,” I hissed, lifting my hips and pushing my leggings down my thighs.
With a wicked grin, he dragged them the rest of the way down my legs, peppering my skin with kisses.
When I was down to my bra and undies and he was still fully clothed, I pushed him away.
“Get naked.”
A slow, sexy smile spread across his face.
“And get a condom,” I added firmly.
“Yes, ma’am.” He hopped up and dashed up the stairs.
Thirty seconds later, he returned, yanking his shirt off as he approached, his movements frantic and silly and so, so sexy.
I patted the couch cushion. “Sit down.” This was reckless and selfish, but I couldn’t think beyond my need to have him inside me.
He obeyed, and I pulled down his boxers, making his thick cock spring to attention.
A tiny bead of moisture pooled at the tip, taunting me, so I bent over him and licked it away.
The growl that left him made his chest vibrate. “My God.”
I pushed his legs farther apart and knelt between them, gripping him with my hand and licking up the underside of his hard length. It was intoxicating, the feel of him in my hand, the sound of his gasps and groans.
“Celine,” he said, his breathing ragged. “Please. You’ve got to stop.”
Glaring up at him, I slowly enveloped him just to torture him. Then I released him with a pop.
Shaking with need, I stood and stripped off my bra and panties.
“I, um,” I said, suddenly self-conscious on display in front of him. “I need to be on top.”
Josh was warm and gentle. But I needed to be in control. I wasn’t sure I could handle the weight of him on top of me. Not when I was just figuring all of this out.
“Anything you want,” he said, his lids heavy. “Anything.”
I snatched the condom off the couch, tore the wrapper open, and slid the latex over his length, a thrill coursing through me when his thighs shook.
Straddling his thick thighs, I hovered over him, nearly preening as he hungrily devoured my body with his eyes.
“I could stare at you naked for the rest of my life,” he said quietly.
While I questioned the sentiment—I wasn’t sure my boobs and stretch marks were that special—it was hard not to feel invincible in this moment.
With my hands on his shoulders, I eased onto his shaft.
Slowly and deliberately, I lowered myself, letting my eyes close and my head fall back as my body stretched to accommodate his size.
It was delicious, these sensations. And between his hands and lips and the heat of his body, I was dizzy with lust.
Slowly, I moved, rocking and shifting until I found a rhythm that sent arcs of electricity through me.
He pinched my nipples and kissed my breasts, looking so rugged and strong in the firelight, yet contained.
He was holding back. For me.
He was letting me take the lead.
“You okay with this?” he asked, his arms stretched out on the back of the couch.
“Yes,” I cried out, riding him harder, clenching around him.
“That’s it,” he said. “You’re so tight. God, you’re squeezing the life out of me, but I love it.”
I tossed my head back, leaning into the familiar tightening in my core. I angled forward until my breasts were in his face and ground against him, hitting all those spots that made my eyes cross.
“Fuck. Celine,” he gritted out. “I don’t know if I can hold on.”
I kissed him hard, chasing the tension still building inside me. Being with him felt so good, so right, and so perfect. Everything about this moment was perfect.
In his arms, I was safe.
And so I let go.
Wild and moaning and messy and sexy, I came. Hard. Wave after wave of pleasure crashed over me, making me gasp and shudder.
Josh was right there with me. Holding me down to earth with those strong hands on my hips, surging up into me as his own release overcame him.
This gentle, kind man was unraveling me, piece by piece, and there was nothing I could do but give into it. Let myself have it.
Josh made me feel like more.
More than a mom.
More than my past.
More than a woman who needed saving.