Chapter 44
Celine
One Month Later
The massive sectional was surrounded by wrapping paper. The tree Josh and the kids had cut down hit the ceiling of the living room and was crammed full of ornaments. Several of which were handmade by Maggie and were horse-shaped.
We hadn’t meant to move in here. In fact, I’d tried very hard to avoid it. The bullet that had gone through the ceiling of the cottage had punctured a hot water pipe, and while it hadn’t caused significant damage to the house, clean up and repairs had taken a few weeks.
So the kids and I had stayed here. Josh had a ton of space and went out of his way to make us feel welcome. The girls had their own rooms, and Julian got to hang with his best friend Wayne constantly. And pretty quickly, the five of us settled into an easy routine.
It was a temporary living situation. I often had to remind my kids of that. But they had other plans.
Julian took it upon himself to sneak back over to our cottage and bring his belongings over.
He did it little by little, an armload or a box full each day.
How I didn’t notice is beyond me. When he finished his clothes and toys, he started on my stuff.
It started small. One day, the best mom mug Ellie had made for me in kindergarten appeared in a cabinet in Josh’s kitchen.
Not long after that, I came home from a meeting after school and found our framed family photos interspersed with Josh’s along the fireplace mantel. When I’d asked how they migrated over here, Julian and Maggie giggled and ran upstairs.
Josh took a photo of my mom and placed it right next to one of his mom. “I think they’d have been friends,” he said softly.
That moment was when my resolve—to move back to the cottage, to assert my independence, to get some distance from this man—crumbled into dust.
We hadn’t made anything official yet. We were just sort of muddling through. Sleeping at the farmhouse and wandering back over to the cottage when it suited.
The aftermath of the Phyllis incident was difficult. But Josh’s support made it more manageable. The kids had been interviewed by Nolan and advocates from the court system. I’d given my statements, and Phyllis had been formally charged.
Justice took time, but since the judge denied her bail due to the violent nature of her crimes, I slept easily.
After the incident, the town had really shown up for us, making sure we had food for months, volunteering to help out at the farm, and providing endless support.
“Mom,” Julian said, crawling into my lap with a big smile, his eyes darting to the absurd pile of gifts. “Santa went overboard this year.”
I shot Josh a look. He only shrugged. He looked extra delicious in the reindeer printed pajamas that Maggie had picked out for all of us.
I worried that it was too much to ask, but he’d been honored to wear them.
We’d already taken several goofy family photos, all five of us in our matching jammies.
Josh had not exercised restraint when it came to Christmas shopping. If the pile of Lego sets, books, and nail polish were any indication.
“There’s more,” he said, jumping up. He wandered around the massive tree and pulled out another stack of gifts. “These are from me,” he said bashfully.
He sat down next to me, his eyes darting from kid to kid like he was nervous.
Maggie ripped hers open first.
“A riding helmet?” She squealed. “Wait. Does this mean—” She snapped her mouth closed, her eyes wide behind her glasses.
Josh nodded. “Logan says Daisy is doing so well in her training that you can start riding her soon.”
My daughter burst into wild screeches, ripping the helmet out of the box and putting it on her head.
Excellent, she’d probably sleep in that thing for a week.
Julian took his time unwrapping his box. He tended to be more methodical, carefully removing the paper. Inside was another box with several items inside.
“Are these tools?” He held up a small screwdriver set, studying it.
Josh smiled. “You’ve been so helpful fixing things around the farm, I figured you needed your own set.”
Face alight, Julian pulled out a tape measure, a child sized hammer, and a set of wrenches. “These aren’t toys.” Julian said excitedly. “They’re real.”
“Nothing dangerous,” Josh whispered into my ear. “But he’s gotta start somewhere.”
“And Ellie,” Josh said, handing her a very large box. “I didn’t forget about you.”
My oldest eyed him dubiously and then tore off the paper. “Bauers?” she said, her face brightening as she eyed the top-of the-line hockey skates.
Josh nodded. “After the holidays, we’ll take them back to the shop. They have a special oven that will mold them to your feet.”
She assessed him quietly, doubt swimming in her eyes. Fear and hesitance too. It killed me that this was her natural reaction. That her childhood had been so compromised.
But then she smiled, a real, genuine smile, and stood. Then she launched herself into Josh’s arms. Maggie and Julian followed, piling on top of him in one massive bear hug.
“Get in here, Mom.”
I wrapped my arms around the whole group as best as I could, soaking in this moment, relishing the feeling of togetherness.
Ellie broke away first, stepping away. “The skates are amazing, but I was hoping to ask you a favor as a Christmas present instead.”
Josh pressed his lips together thoughtfully. “Ask away.”
“So. You know how I joined the hockey team?”
Josh nodded. The season had already begun, but they’d allowed Ellie to join. It had been a while since she’d been on a proper team and she was a bit rusty, but she was having so much fun.
“We don’t have an assistant coach. And Olivia’s mom is doing a great job, but she needs help. We need help”
My eyebrows shot up and Josh’s cheeks turned pink.
“So I volunteered you.”
I scoffed. “Excuse me?” She did what?
“I volunteered you for the position of assistant coach for Maplewood’s peewee hockey team,” she said. “Can you do it? I know it’s a big deal and—”
Josh stood and opened his arms. “I’d be honored.”
Ellie beamed at him. The sight made my heart clench. Her cool teen facade fell for a moment, and I took in every detail of it.
A weight lifted from my shoulders. She’d been missing this for so long. The safety and silliness.
Josh and my kids were making it very difficult to take this slow. I loved this man. I loved the idea of the family we could create together. But it would take time.
I’d had a plan. But my kids, as usual, were obliterating it.
“Josh, open this one. It’s from us.” Julian held the box out.
“It’s Crocs,” Julian blurted out before Josh could remove the wrapping paper. “I picked them out. They’re blue. Just like mine.”
With a big smile at him, Josh removed the paper. “You guys really are trying to convert me into your Croc cult, huh?”
“You’ll eat those words when you experience Croc superiority,” Ellie teased.
He slipped them onto his feet and bent over to study them, tapping his chin and acting suspicious. “Interesting,” he admitted.
“You’ve gotta break them in before you make a decision about what you think,” Maggie explained.
“How about I wear them while I make pancakes?” Josh suggested.
The kids cheered, and the four of them quickly migrated to the kitchen. I gathered up the wrapping paper, enjoying the moment to myself, and then made my way into the kitchen.
The room had been so large and stark before. Now it was filled with life. Wayne sat near the stove, thumping his tail, hoping for a scrap of bacon, and the kids were making funny-shaped pancakes while Josh supervised.
I refilled my coffee and stood silently to the side, watching. My heart was full of love and gratitude. Plenty of anxiety too, of course, but excitement for the future.
We belonged here.
In this town.
In this house.
And with this man.
While enjoying our Christmas breakfast feast, Josh prepped us for the afternoon. Jenn had invited us over to her home, and he made sure to explain everything carefully to Julian to help manage his expectations.
“We go there for a little while and eat food and open presents?” Julian asked.
“Yes,” Josh replied with a dip of his chin. “And I’ve already packed special food for you.”
Julian’s shoulders lowered, his relief visible.
“And if it’s too loud, we can take a walk into town and look at the Christmas lights again,” Josh offered.
The warmth that had started in my chest grew. He was so patient and so accommodating with Julian, who was blossoming every day. My little guy had even asked Josh to teach him how to skate too.
“Do I have to wear fancy clothes?” Julian asked, his attention drifting to me.
I shook my head. “Nope, you can wear whatever you want. We’ll stay for a little while, have some fun, and then come back to our house and play Mario Kart, okay?”
With an easy smile, he wandered off to play.
The girls took their plates to the sink and beelined for the living room too, no doubt anxious to play with their new stuff too.
When it was just the two of us, Josh pulled me into his lap for a kiss.
With a sigh, I closed my eyes and let myself enjoy the moment.
“You said our house.” He kissed me again. “Not Josh’s house.”
I shrugged, going for chill, even as my stomach did backflips. That phrase had just slipped out.
“Is that okay?” I asked.
He stood, scooping me into his arms and spinning me around the kitchen. “It’s the best Christmas gift ever.”
With my arms around his neck, I held on tight and let out a giggle. “Good. Because you’re stuck with us now. Forever.”