Chapter 5 #2
“We lost our parents to a Brakken attack when I was barely of age. After that, I raised them. I became the closest thing to parents they had, although I could never fill our parents’ shoes.
They were wonderful people. Pira was twenty-four when we went out to pick up supplies in a ground transport,” I began in a voice barely above a whisper.
“She had the gentlest hands I’ve ever seen.
I swear, she could calm a wounded animal just by touching it, and she was studying advanced healing techniques. She wanted to help people.”
Maya’s thumb stroked across my knuckles, a simple gesture that somehow made breathing easier.
“Jorik was twenty-two, and he was fascinated by navigation and stellar cartography. He could calculate jump coordinates faster than most computers, and he knew the position of every major star system by heart. He wanted to explore the galaxy, map new trade routes.”
“They sound wonderful,” Maya said softly.
“They were.” A familiar ache settled in my chest. “And they died because I made a stupid decision. I let them come with me on a supply run to a contested zone. My ground transport hit a Brakken mine, and when I woke up, they were gone. I was supposed to protect them.”
Maya was quiet for a long moment, and I expected her to offer the usual platitudes about how it wasn’t my fault, how I couldn’t have known. Instead, she said, “You’ve been carrying that guilt for ten cycles.”
It wasn’t a question, but I nodded anyway.
“And in all that time, you’ve been out there flying supply runs, keeping the Solas stocked on supplies and likely watching out for danger as well.
Taking the routes no other pilots want to.
Making sure settlements get the resources they need to survive.
” Her voice was matter-of-fact, not trying to absolve me, but pointing out truths I had been too buried in guilt to see.
“You’ve been protecting people all along, Rykar. You’ve just been doing it alone.”
Something shifted in my chest, a tiny crack in the wall I had built around my heart. For just a moment, I could almost imagine it—accepting the bond, leading a Sola, having Maya by my side through whatever came next. The possibility seemed so close I could almost reach out and touch it.
Then the Sola’s voice whispered through my mind again, a jumbled mess of concepts and emotions that might as well have been in an alien language. The moment of hope crumbled, leaving me feeling more lost than before.
“I can’t understand her,” I said, frustration bleeding into my voice. “How can I accept a bond when I can’t even communicate with my own Sola?”
Maya was quiet for a moment. Her brows drew together as she thought. “I remember reading something in the research materials about Destran lord chambers. There’s a crystal embedded in the wall of every lord’s private heart chamber, isn’t there? The place where only the bonded lord can enter?”
I nodded. Every lord had a heart chamber within their Sola, a space where the connection between lord and ship was strongest.
“What if that’s what you need?” Maya continued. “Direct contact with your Sola’s heart crystal. Maybe the communication barrier exists because you’re trying to connect from a distance, through me. But if you were in your own heart chamber, touching your Sola’s core…”
The idea had merit, I had to admit. Every lord I knew spoke of the heart chamber as the place where their connection to their Sola was clearest, most complete.
“The new Sola doesn’t seem formed enough, or isn’t forming properly enough to have one. It’s still under the ground, as far as I know. It would need time to develop such a space,” I pointed out.
“Then we give her time,” Maya said simply. “In the meantime, my team and I can work on finding ways to mitigate the psychic effects scientifically. Maybe we can buy ourselves more time to figure this out.”
I realized I was still holding her hand, that I had been holding it this entire conversation.
Her skin was soft and warm, and something about the contact made everything else feel more manageable.
Stars, it had been so long since I’d touched anyone.
Been touched. When I looked at her, really looked at her, everything about her seemed to shine with an inner light that made the rest of the room fade into soft focus.
“I hate that you’re trapped in this,” I said. “That you’re forced to stay connected to an ancient alien consciousness while we figure out whether I’m actually supposed to be her lord.”
Maya’s smile was small but determined. And yes, that adorable mole slipped into the fold at the side of her mouth.
I wondered what that mouth tasted like. She squeezed my hand and I shook myself inwardly.
“I’m a scientist, Rykar. This is the discovery of a lifetime, even if it’s trying to kill me.
Besides,” she added more softly, “I trust you.”
Those three words hit me harder than I expected. When was the last time someone had trusted me with something important? When was the last time I had trusted myself?
“If the Sola develops enough to create a heart chamber,” I heard myself saying, “I’ll try. I’ll go in there and see if the connection becomes clearer.”
“And if it doesn’t?”
I met her eyes, seeing my own uncertainty reflected there. “I don’t know, Maya. I honestly don’t know how to connect with her. She feels…unhinged.”
Maya nodded. “I feel that, too. Like she’s struggling to find a way through her own mind.”
The Sola’s presence stirred at the edges of my consciousness, and for just a moment, the chaotic whispers seemed to carry a note of approval. Or maybe that was just wishful thinking.
Either way, for the first time in ten cycles, I wasn’t planning to face an impossible situation alone. And that counted for something.