Chapter Nineteen
March
We rode in silence, with my large frame crammed into Violet’s little car. Now that she was a little over six months pregnant, I didn’t want to risk her riding on my bike. I was both excited and apprehensive about this visit with the doctor. We were finally going to find out if we were having a girl or a boy.
Pulling into the parking lot, I killed the engine and helped Violet out of the car. She unfolded herself from the seat, her movements careful, protective of the life she carried. Her eyes flickered with a mix of fear and anticipation, the shadows of her past lingering just beneath the surface.
“Ready for this?” I asked.
She nodded, biting her lip. “As I’ll ever be.”
We stepped through the sliding doors, the sterile scent of antiseptic filling my nostrils.
“Mr. and Mrs. Blevins?” The nurse’s voice cut through my thoughts like a knife.
“Right here,” I said, squeezing Violet’s hand. It wasn’t often I got to hear Violet called by her married name. My name. I had to admit I rather liked it.
The doctor’s examination room felt too small, the walls closing in as we took our seats. The crinkle of the paper cover on the exam table sounded much too loud. Violet’s hand felt small and warm in mine.
“Deep breaths. We’ve got this.” I kept my tone even, controlled, despite the adrenaline coursing through my veins.
She offered me a frail smile, her strength shining through despite the quiver in her lips. “I know. Just… can’t help but worry, you know? What if something doesn’t look right?”
“Hey, I’m right here with you. Whatever comes, we face it head-on. Together.” I gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, and she leaned into me, her body melding against mine.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
This was our second attempt to find out if we were having a girl or boy. Last time, the machine hadn’t been working so we’d had to reschedule. The doctor came in, greeted us, then got down to business. A technician rolled the ultrasound machine closer and lifted Violet’s shirt over her stomach. She smeared gel across Violet’s belly, and I felt her tense up beside me. My gaze locked onto the screen, every muscle coiled tight, ready for whatever was coming. The doctor had said everything seemed to be fine at the last appointment, but I couldn’t help but worry.
“Okay, let’s see what we’ve got here,” the doctor murmured, watching the technician move the transducer in slow circles. Images flickered, shades of gray and black dancing before us. Rorschach blots as far as I was concerned. Ones that held our future.
Violet’s gaze met mine, her eyes wide and searching. I knew this visit had been worrying her. I didn’t understand why, but as her anxiety had just spiked, so had mine.
“Shh, I’m here.” I squeezed her hand, trying to calm her down.
“Ah, there we go,” the doctor announced, a note of triumph in her voice as if they’d uncovered hidden treasure. Which in a way, they had. The image on the screen sharpened, and my heart hammered against my ribcage. The doctor measured our baby before the technician moved the wand around a bit more.
“Congratulations, it’s a girl!” The words cut through the tension like a knife through leather.
A girl. Our girl.
Shit. Was I prepared to have a daughter? If she met a man like me, I would probably lose my shit. I hadn’t exactly been a saint before falling in love with Violet. Maybe not as much of a hound as some men I knew, but still.
Vi’s hand gripped mine. Pure joy mingled with an edge of disbelief, as if fate had finally dealt us a winning hand. Our daughter seemed to be perfect from what I could tell looking at the screen. But it didn’t hurt to be certain.
“A little girl,” I murmured. “And she’s healthy? No noticeable defects or anything?”
The doctor nodded. “Yep. Everything looks good.”
We finished the rest of the visit quickly and stopped at the front desk to schedule the next one before going back out to the car. My arm snaked around Vi’s waist, pulling her into me with a force that bordered on desperation. Emotions churned inside like a tempest -- relief, awe, love -- all crashing together.
“A little girl… Benni,” she murmured. “Let’s name her Benni, after Ben. Is that okay?”
Ben. My brother-in-arms, the ghost who had never truly left us. I could only imagine how much he would love knowing his niece carried his name.
“That’s perfect,” I managed to say, my voice gruff from the emotions churning inside me. Benni. Our little girl would know of her uncle, the hero, the lost soul we clung to even as we forged ahead. Violet and I would both share stories about him, and I’d make damn sure our new home had a picture of him. We had quite a few.
Benni. Our daughter. Our hope.
“I think Benni is an excellent name, and I bet her uncle would be thrilled. We’ll make sure she knows all about him,” I said.
Violet nodded. The air between us crackled with an electric charge, the future unfurling like a road laid out before us, untraveled and beckoning. Neither of us had ever considered marriage and a baby. Not really. When she was younger, she may have pictured me as her groom, but as she’d gotten older those dreams had faded thanks to reality. Life could be hard and cruel. It had a way of crushing you. Yet here we were. I couldn’t speak for Violet, but I was eager for this next adventure. I didn’t know shit about babies, but I’d learn. I wanted to be a good dad to little Benni.
Violet’s hand, still clasped in mine, was a lifeline -- a tangible reminder of the life we were weaving together.
“I can’t believe we’re having a little girl.” She looked up at me. “It seems more real today than ever before, now that she has a name.”
My chest swelled, heart hammering against my ribcage as if trying to match the cadence of our unborn daughter’s tiny heartbeat. “I can and I will protect her, love her, and make sure she has the best life possible.”
“I know.” Violet leaned her head against my shoulder. “You’re going to be an amazing dad. I can already tell. I have a feeling our Benni is going to be a daddy’s girl.”
I kissed her temple. “Then we’ll need to have a little boy who adores his mom just as much and can grow up big and strong to help protect his sister.”
She nudged me with her elbow. “Or you can teach her to protect herself. Why should she need a man to do the job for her?”
I paused. Good idea. “I like that. She doesn’t need any man in her life except me and her uncles. I’ll teach her how to fix a car, ride a motorcycle, shoot a gun, and put a man on his ass if he does something he shouldn’t.”
Violet rolled her eyes. “Of course, you will.”
I leaned down to kiss her before helping her into the car. The ride back to the clubhouse was quiet. The doctor had given Violet a picture of little Benni and she kept staring at it. I would have too if I hadn’t been the one driving. I couldn’t wait to show everyone our daughter.
When we got back to the clubhouse, I walked in ahead of Vi, and immediately grabbed everyone’s attention.
“We have something to share!” My voice boomed through the space and made everyone stop and face me. They eyed Violet beside me, or more accurately the little piece of paper in her hand.
“It’s a girl,” she said. “We’re naming her Benni, after my brother.”
A collective breath, held in suspense, broke free in cheers and claps, the sound ricocheting off the walls. I could tell my brothers, those who had also known Ben, were thrilled with her name choice. We all missed him, and now he would not only live on in our memories, but also through our child.
Eliza, her belly now just as big as Violet’s, sidled up beside my wife, a smile gracing her lips. “Can’t wait to meet little Benni.”
Jo shuffled closer, her own stomach just as large, as all three women were due within weeks of each other. There was a spark in her eyes as she hugged Violet.
“Three little ones on the way,” she said. “I’m not sure all these big tough bikers can handle three crying babies at once. Might be fun to watch.”
“Seems like Underland’s future is set on growing,” I stated, the corner of my mouth lifting in a half-grin. “It won’t be long before the next generation is here.”
Eliza’s hand hovered over her stomach, her eyes alight with a secret she was about to spill. Up until now, both she and Jo had remained silent as to whether they were having boys or girls. I wondered if we were about to find out.
“Guess what?” Her voice was steady, strong. “It’s a boy. We haven’t decided on a name yet, though.”
“Me too,” Jo said. “Another boy.”
The club clapped and whistled at the news, everyone excited about the new little ones joining us soon.
Then Absolem leaned in, a smirk playing on his lips. Something told me I wasn’t going to like whatever came out of his mouth.
“Well, Violet, looks like your little girl might have her pick of the boys in the future.” His words were teasing, and yet I wanted to punch him for it.
Violet’s laughter danced in the air. “I’m not sure she could handle either of them, and her daddy has already decided she’ll never need a man except him and her uncles.”
“Damn straight! You better train those two to think of Benni as their cousin or sister. Anything other than a marriage option.”
Jo snickered. “Like I want a daughter-in-law who might take after you, March. I bet your little one is going to be a hellion.”
I nodded. “I’m okay with that.”
“Don’t jinx my son with that bullshit,” Hatter called out. “I want him to find some sweet, quiet girl.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it, Prez,” Absolem said, a hand over his heart as if pledging an oath.
The room erupted then, laughter bouncing off the walls. It was a good sound, a free sound. The club members were a rough bunch, scars and ink etched into their skin like the stories of their lives, but in this moment, they were just family. A family about to welcome new life into its fold.
“All right, all right,” Mock piped up. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. They aren’t even born yet.”
“True,” I conceded, throwing an arm around Violet’s shoulders. “But it’s never too early to start worrying as a father, right?”
“You got that right,” someone from the back called, and more chuckles threaded through the air.
My gaze slid over to Violet, her eyes bright. She was strength personified, the woman who’d stand by my side through the storms ahead. And we’d weather them together.
“Here’s to Benni,” I raised my voice, lifting a beer Cheshire passed to me, “and to the next generation of Underland. May they ride harder, live braver, and love stronger than we ever did.”
“Here, here!” The chorus came loud and unified, glasses lifted high.
And just like that, our little girl was toasted by the toughest, most loyal band of misfits I had ever known.
The room quieted down, and everyone went back to what they’d been doing before we arrived. I scanned the faces around us. Men who were still fighting their demons but had hope for a brighter future. I tightened my hold on Violet, thankful to have her here by my side.
“Never thought I’d see the day,” I murmured, meeting her gaze. I placed my hand over her belly. “Our own little warrior.”
“Warrior? I suppose. After all, she’ll be just like her daddy.”
I shook my head, my heart swelling. “Nah, she’ll be better. She’s got you in her corner.”
Violet leaned into me, her forehead resting against my shoulder. A moment of peace in a life too often marked by chaos. The club, it was our sanctuary, our battlefield, and now, it was going to be Benni’s home.
“Family,” she whispered. “You’ve given me that and so much more, March. Coming to find you was the best thing I ever did.”
“Damn right.” I looked around at the patched vests and lined faces. These men and women, they weren’t just comrades. They were the guardians of our future. Not just ours, but the entire town of Warren. We’d made this place our home, and we’d defend it with everything we had.
“Let’s make a promise,” I said, my voice steady as I spoke to all three women, as well as Hatter and Cheshire. “We keep the roads safe for our kids. We give them the freedom we never had. And we won’t hold them back from chasing their dreams, even if it takes them far from home.”
“Promise,” they echoed back.
Our Underland MC family, bound not just by blood or ink but by the hope of what lay ahead. With every rev of an engine, every clink of metal, and every cry of new life joining us, we were forging a new path -- one where Benni, Eliza’s boy, and Jo’s boy would have better lives than any of us had ever dreamed of.
“Here’s to tomorrow,” I declared, raising my beer.
“To tomorrow,” they answered.
And as I held Violet close, feeling the thrum of life within her, I knew there was nothing we wouldn’t face to protect this dream. Nothing we wouldn’t conquer. Because we were Underland -- unbreakable, united, unstoppable.
I couldn’t wait to see what the future had in store for us next…