Chapter Two #2
Marin tightened her grip on the steering wheel, grateful that her apartment was only a few miles from the coffee shop.
Tomorrow was the first day of classes, so she’d be spending more time on campus, but she should make time each day to just drive.
She needed to get more comfortable behind the wheel, and she needed to get more familiar with her new hometown, so daily scenic drives seemed like a win-win.
Five minutes later, she pulled into an available parking spot near her new apartment.
She was renting the first floor of a three-story building, an old house that had been divided into apartments.
It was small and outdated, but it worked for now.
It had been unexpectedly difficult to find a first floor unit, but stairs were sometimes hard for her on days when her nerve pain flared up.
A first floor master bedroom was a must for her future house as well.
Marin grabbed her purse, locked the car, and made her way inside. The sun was low in the sky, casting her east-facing apartment in shadow, so she flipped on lights as she walked. She hung her coat in the closet and set her purse on the coffee table.
She’d had coffee with Charlotte today. Charlotte.
Such a beautiful name for an equally beautiful woman.
Marin pressed a hand to her heart, feeling it race.
She’d been so shocked, so thrilled to see her and finally learn her name, she hadn’t fully processed the ramifications of having Charlotte in her life now.
“You have my number already, as your Realtor,” Charlotte had said before they left the café. “But feel free to reach out as a friend too. I’d really like to keep in touch.”
Marin had promised she would. She needed friends here in Vermont, and she wanted to get to know Charlotte better.
It was just . . . Marin had allowed her fantasies to run a bit wild over the last two years.
She’d been immediately drawn to Charlotte that morning on the bus, had felt a little ping in her belly reminding her that, yes, she was a lesbian. A very, very repressed one.
As she’d rebuilt her life over the last two years, she’d spent a lot of time caught up in fantasies that often involved a certain nameless blond from the bus.
So, seeing her today, learning her name, and laying the foundation for a friendship with her?
That was confusing, to say the least. It had taken time for Marin to get past the shock of their run-in, but by the time they were having coffee together, that spark had rekindled.
Marin was attracted to her, no doubt about it, and the feeling only seemed to have intensified since the last time she saw her, probably because she’d spent so many hours thinking about her. She’d thought she was safe in her fantasies since she’d never see the woman from the bus again.
Fate had a funny sense of humor where Marin was concerned . . . if she believed in such a thing. Maybe, especially after today, she did believe in fate. At the very least, she was intrigued by the idea.
She walked to the fridge for a glass of water, idly wishing she had someone to talk to. She felt an unexpected tug of loneliness. Ordinarily, she’d call one of her siblings to chat, but she couldn’t talk to them about this particular dilemma, at least, not until she’d come out to them.
A thump from upstairs indicated one of her neighbors was home. As far as she could tell, all the other occupants of this building were students at the university, which was yet another reason to find a house, and soon.
Marin was too old to be living with students, especially now that she was a professor.
If any of them was in one of her classes, it might be awkward.
She headed to her bedroom to change into more comfortable clothes.
Yes, she knew it was only four thirty in the afternoon, but she was in for the day, and she’d fought hard for the freedom to make her own decisions.
Right now, she wanted to spend a few hours reading in comfort. Sapphic fiction—sapphic romance in particular—had gotten her through long years stuck in a loveless marriage. In those books, she saw women like herself living happily, loving each other . . . thriving.
It helped her to understand her sexuality, to accept herself for who she was, to know what she wanted in life.
And the sex scenes? Suffice it to say, Marin had spent many an evening reading steamy books before indulging in some self-care with her vibrator, which was a million times hotter than anything she’d ever experienced with her husband.
Now, she could technically go out and find a woman to hook up with anytime she wanted, except Marin wasn’t a hookup kind of woman.
That wasn’t how she wanted to experience the pleasure of a woman’s body for the first time.
Also, she couldn’t even begin to contemplate dating before she’d said the words “I’m a lesbian” out loud for the first time.
She had to come out to the people in her life, including her family.
She’d just seen them all at Christmas, but she hadn’t been able to get the words out.
It wasn’t the right time, or maybe she just wasn’t ready.
Now she had a reprieve while she settled into her new life in Vermont.
She wouldn’t see her family in person for a few months, but she needed to make plans to tell them.
Soon. In the meantime, she’d start her new job.
She’d find a house. She’d make some friends here in Vermont, find new hobbies, maybe even join a local pride organization.
Then she could date. Hopefully that would all happen quickly, though, because after so many years of fantasies, Marin was fairly desperate to kiss and touch someone she felt a real attraction for.
She wanted a girlfriend, a life partner, a wife. Honestly, she could hardly wait. Dating was her top priority, just as soon as she’d taken the steps to get herself ready.
With a sigh, she settled on the sofa and reached for the throw blanket she’d left there earlier.
Maybe she wasn’t lonely so much as she missed having someone to talk to.
Were those the same thing? She missed casual conversation, but she treasured these moments when she got to decide exactly what she wanted to do and when she wanted to do it.
She put on her glasses and scrolled Instagram on her phone for a few minutes to unwind before she started reading. She’d followed several accounts for house-decorating inspiration, and one of them had just posted a swoon-worthy photo of a home library. Okay, that was something she’d love to have.
Intrigued, she clicked on the post to see more photos.
Built-in bookshelves. Were those expensive?
She loved the look of them. Who cared if she mostly read on her Kindle these days?
Maybe she could purchase print copies of her favorites to fill the bookshelves. A whole wall of sapphic books! Imagine?
She smiled. Oh yes, she could imagine it. She could see herself sitting in a cozy chair with her new girlfriend. As she swiped to the next photo, her gaze caught on an image of the influencer cozied up, reading with a dog nestled beside her. Hmm.
A dog? Yearning stirred in Marin’s chest. Suddenly, she remembered how many times she’d begged for a puppy when she was a little girl.
Her childhood best friend, Jenna, had dogs at home, and Marin had loved playing with them.
She’d always wanted one of her own, but her parents had been staunchly anti-pet. Andrew had been the same.
“A dog,” she murmured to herself. Yes, she should get one. As a bonus, she’d have someone to talk to at home without sacrificing any of her newfound freedom. Suddenly, she wanted a dog almost as much as she wanted a girlfriend, but one was certainly easier to obtain than the other.
She googled “getting a new puppy,” and her feed flooded with articles advertising everything you needed to know about bringing home a new puppy .
. . except where to get one. Then the website for the local animal shelter caught her eye.
That was as good a place to start as any.
Marin clicked on it, her gaze immediately drawn to a photo of puppies.
As it turned out, the shelter had a litter of five-week-old lab mixes that would be looking for homes soon. Marin tabbed through the photos, feeling a rising sense of excitement.
Getting a divorce, starting a new career, coming out . . . those were all changes made to reward her adult self. But a puppy? This would be a gift to her inner child, and little Marin was long overdue to have a puppy.