Chapter Eight
Marin attempted to project a confidence she didn’t quite feel as she entered the classroom where Northshire University’s Pride Coalition held its meetings.
She was excited to get started in her new role as faculty advisor, but also .
. . intimidated. She’d planned to walk into this meeting as an outwardly queer woman, to introduce herself that way from the start.
Now that it was time to actually do it, well, she was quaking in her boots.
So far, she’d only come out to one person—Charlotte—and while the NU Pride Coalition was virtually guaranteed to be a safe place to share her truth, the words didn’t come easily for her yet.
She was nervous as hell as she lingered at the back of the room.
There were about ten students in attendance so far, a mixture of genders.
They’d moved their seats into a semicircle and were deep in conversation, barely seeming to notice her arrival.
Marin wasn’t sure what was expected from the faculty in this situation.
Should she join their conversation, or was she supposed to be more of an observer?
Before she could decide, another woman entered the room, a fellow professor if Marin had to guess. She looked to be in her early thirties, with light-brown hair and a warm smile. “Hi,” she said to Marin before waving at the gathered group of students. “Are you Professor Easterly?”
“I am,” Marin confirmed.
The woman’s smile widened. “I’m Dr. Lind . . . Audrey. I’m an art history professor here.”
“Please call me Marin. I teach statistics.”
“Nice to meet you, Marin.” Audrey extended her hand, and Marin shook it. “Are you new here this semester?”
She nodded. “New to teaching, actually.”
“It’s only my second year teaching too,” Audrey said with enthusiasm.
“Isn’t it great? I hope you’re loving it, and I’m glad you’re here with the Pride Coalition.
We’ve been short a faculty sponsor this year, and with the political climate being what it is, I was afraid the university might start trying to shut down the club. ”
“Really?” Marin frowned. “That would be terrible.”
“You’re telling me,” Audrey agreed. “My fiancée kept it going while she was here, but she retired from teaching last year. We’ve been short a faculty sponsor ever since.”
She. Marin’s brain snagged on that word. Audrey’s fiancée was a woman, and that made Marin irrationally pleased. “Well, I’ve only got two classes this semester, and I’d love to get more involved here, so just let me know how I can help.”
“I’m really glad to hear that,” Audrey said.
“The students pretty much run things themselves, but the faculty sponsors help plan events and fundraisers. I also try to be available as a mentor, because while a lot of these kids are super comfortable with their identities, some aren’t.
Some of them really need an adult in their life they can trust.”
Marin swallowed, humbled by the responsibility that entailed. “I wish I’d been comfortable with my sexuality at their age, but I hope I can help them have a better experience than I did.” And she’d just come out for the second time, in a roundabout way. Her cheeks felt uncomfortably warm.
“Sounds like you’re here for exactly the right reason, then,” Audrey said approvingly. “Come on. I’ll introduce you to the group.”
Marin followed her to the front of the room.
“Hi, everyone,” Audrey said. “Before we get started, I want to introduce you to our new faculty sponsor, Professor Easterly. She’s new here, so let’s help her feel welcome, okay?”
“New to Vermont too,” Marin added. “And very glad to be here.”
“Welcome, Professor Easterly,” someone called out.
She exchanged greetings with the students before they got down to business, which today consisted of early planning for the Valentine’s Day party.
They were also organizing a fundraiser for a local LGBTQ center.
Marin was pleased with how comfortable she felt in the group, and it only increased her yearning to further immerse herself in queer communities.
For now, though, it warmed her heart to see these kids having such a good time in a safe space.
Well, most of them were having a good time.
She noticed one student lingering at the rear of the group, listening and not contributing to the conversation.
That was fine. Marin had been more of an observer than a participant in school herself, but this student’s body language seemed anxious and uncomfortable.
“Before we go, I just wanted to remind you all that my office hours are posted in the portal, and my phone number is included there too,” Audrey said. “You’re welcome to contact me for any reason, even if you just want to chat. I’m always here for you, okay?”
“That goes for me too,” Marin added. “I’m . . . I’m not only new to Vermont and to teaching, I’m also new to being out, so if any of you are going through that, too, I might be a good ear. Happy to try at least.” She gave a nervous laugh, her stomach churning from coming out to a room of people.
She saw several appreciative smiles from the students. The meeting started to break up soon after, although a few people lingered, chatting with friends. Marin caught the eye of the quiet student in back and made her way over to say hello.
“Professor Easterly, right?” the student said, her expression hesitant. “I’m Brianna.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Brianna. Is this your first year at NU?”
She nodded. “Yeah. I’m a freshman. Um . . . I’ve got to run, but it was nice to meet you.”
“See you here next week?” Marin asked in what she hoped was an encouraging tone.
Brianna nodded, then waved before she headed for the door.
As other students started to leave the room, a bubbly young woman with curly brown hair approached Marin. “Hi, Professor Easterly. I’m Gia, student president of the Pride Coalition. Just wanted to say welcome. We’re glad to have you join us.”
“Thanks, Gia. I’m very glad to be here.” Marin felt warm all the way to her toes. The room emptied fairly quickly from there, and soon she and Audrey were exiting the classroom together. Audrey locked the door behind them.
“So where did you move from?” Audrey asked.
“Manhattan.”
“Oh wow. Big change. Have you always lived in the city?”
“Yes,” Marin said with a chuckle. “It was time—past time—for some big changes in my life.”
“Good for you. I hope you’re loving it. I went to college here, then left for a while and moved back last year, so I appreciate how different it is living somewhere rural when you didn’t grow up here.”
They stepped outside into the weak January sunshine. Marin pulled her coat more firmly around herself, but the cold at least was something she was used to. And in a minute, she’d be in her car, where she could blast herself with heat.
“Listen, I don’t know if you know anyone in the area or not, but my fiancée and I would love to have you over for dinner sometime if you’re interested.
We’re always looking to make more queer friends around here.
The community is fairly small.” She smiled at Marin, and Marin’s stomach filled with a fizzy sensation at being so casually referred to as queer.
It felt so good. So right. So validating.
“I’d love that,” she said, trying not to sound overly eager. “I don’t know many people in Vermont yet, and like I mentioned to the students back there, I’m very newly out as well, so I’d love to make some queer friends.”
“Perfect,” Audrey said. “I need to double-check with Michelle—my fiancée—but maybe this weekend?”
“Actually, I’m bringing home a new puppy on Friday, so my weekend is likely to be fairly hectic getting her settled,” Marin told her regretfully.
Audrey’s smile widened. “Aww, a puppy! How fun. Why don’t I get your number? I’ll check with Michelle and text you. Maybe we can squeeze in dinner before you bring home your puppy, since I imagine you’ll be busy after.”
“I imagine I will be, and that sounds great.” She read off her number to Audrey; then they said their goodbyes, and Marin headed for her car. She was thrilled by the possibility of dinner with Audrey and her fiancée. She’d never hung out with a sapphic couple before, and she could hardly wait.
In the meantime, she was chatting with two women from the dating app, and her pulse kicked as she anticipated checking her messages once she got home.
Laura was fun to talk to, although Marin still wasn’t sure how to know if she had chemistry with someone before she’d met them in person.
For now, they were sending a lot of messages, which made Marin happy.
Bridgette, the other woman she was messaging with, seemed a little forward for Marin’s taste.
She’d already sent several selfies of herself posing seductively.
Marin had been putting off her requests to reciprocate.
She wasn’t a “sexy selfie” kind of woman, at least not until she knew someone well enough to have that level of comfort with them.
Sexy was the last thing she felt as she turned on the heated seat in her Outback to help loosen muscles that had tensed from nerve pain, but this heated seat might be what got her through the Vermont winter.
It was seriously amazing, the best help she’d found for sore muscles since the Jacuzzi tub at the house she’d shared with Andrew.
She would love to have one of those at her new house.
When she got home, she found another message from Bridgette waiting for her, as well as some new puppy pictures of Ember from her foster mom. She also had a text from Audrey asking if she could come over Thursday for dinner.
The selfie request from Bridgette was a no-go, but dinner with Audrey and Michelle? That earned a resounding yes.
Marin arrived for dinner with her new queer friends on Thursday feeling equal parts nervous and euphoric. Audrey greeted her at the front door, wearing burgundy corduroys and a black top.