Chapter Eleven
It was almost four, and Charlotte was restless. Marin and Laura had been out together for hours now. Were things going well? Had they gone for coffee after snowshoeing the way Marin had mentioned? Given the time, it seemed like they must have.
As Charlotte sat alone in Marin’s apartment, her thoughts kept roaming to that moment in the kitchen right before Marin left, when Charlotte had touched Marin’s cheek while she told her how beautiful she was.
Marin had turned her face into the touch, or at least, that was how it happened in Charlotte’s memories, but she felt so confused about the whole damn thing, she wasn’t sure she could trust her mental replay.
Had Marin leaned into the touch, or had she just been flattered by Charlotte’s praise? Charlotte’s stomach squirmed. She hadn’t been able to settle since it happened. Why had she touched Marin’s cheek?
Why couldn’t she stop obsessing about what was happening on Marin’s date?
Charlotte wanted Marin to find happiness with a woman.
No one deserved it more than Marin. So what if Marin might have less time to spend with Charlotte once she started dating someone?
Charlotte should not be thinking about that.
She really was the worst friend. This was exactly how she’d ruined her friendship with Elena.
Charlotte placed a hand on the sleeping puppy beside her. Ember loved to cuddle, and Charlotte loved that about her. Ember rolled belly up against her thigh, and Charlotte obediently began to rub her tummy as her tail swished happily against the upholstery.
“I hope your mom’s having fun on her date.”
Ember’s tail wagged harder.
“You’re a really good puppy, aren’t you?”
The sound of the door opening had both Charlotte and Ember lifting their heads. Charlotte experienced a strange burst of excitement in anticipation of seeing Marin, while Ember slid down Charlotte’s legs and bounded to the door, wagging so hard her whole body swayed from side to side.
Marin stepped into the apartment. She still wore Charlotte’s snow pants, paired with a navy blue top that looked great on her.
Marin’s hair was a bit tousled from her outdoor adventures, her cheeks flushed a healthy pink.
That sense of excitement increased to full-fledged tingles in Charlotte’s belly.
“How was it?” she asked, surprised to realize she sounded vaguely out of breath.
Marin’s smile was dazzling. “It was great. Really great.”
Charlotte’s stomach swooped with disappointment, and she immediately hated herself for it. Why was she such a terrible friend? Regardless, she feigned excitement. “I’m so glad! Tell me everything.”
“Well.” Marin scooped Ember into her arms and sat beside Charlotte on the couch. A faintly sweet scent lingered on her, maybe from the coffee shop. “She kissed me.”
Charlotte let out an embarrassing squeak, feeling like she’d been punched in the gut. Everything inside her rejected the idea of Marin kissing Laura, to the point that she felt physically sick just thinking about it. “Oh my god,” she managed.
“Yeah.” Marin had a dreamy smile on her face. “Just on the cheek, but still . . . it was really nice.” She turned her head, staring at Charlotte.
Charlotte felt some relief to learn that no one’s lips had been on Marin’s today. Although there was no reason why Marin shouldn’t have kissed Laura on the mouth. None at all. So why was Charlotte having a weird, totally inappropriate freak-out just thinking about it?
“Are you okay?” Marin was still looking at her, those rich brown eyes locked on Charlotte’s, and Charlotte’s heart was about to burst out of her chest. Her body felt overheated, and her pulse was racing.
What was happening to her right now? This wasn’t right. This wasn’t . . .
This wasn’t the reaction of a straight woman learning that her friend had been kissed by someone else. What . . . ?
She gulped, and another strange sound escaped her lips, something akin to a gasp. Not straight. Was she not straight? But . . .
“Charlotte?” Marin’s head was tilted now, her expression one of concern.
Charlotte was ruining her moment. She sucked in a deep breath and pushed her emotions down deep.
Marin had called her first date with Laura great.
This was a big deal for her. The biggest!
And Charlotte would not mess it up for her.
She gave her head a quick shake. “I’m fine.
I think I dozed off here with Ember on the couch, and now I feel a little delayed. ”
Marin’s smile widened. “I know that feeling. Total disorientation. Even worse when someone’s talking to you, and you’re not quite awake yet.”
“Exactly,” Charlotte said, relieved her body had returned to normal. “I should probably run Ember outside since she hasn’t been in a bit, and then I want to hear absolutely everything about your date.”
“I’ll take her.” Marin started to stand, but Charlotte caught the wince she tried to hide. Had snowshoeing caused her nerve pain to flare up?
Charlotte scooped the puppy into her arms and stood. “I’ve got her. You should go change out of those snow pants, put on something more comfortable.”
“Okay,” Marin acquiesced, wincing again as she stood. “Thank you. I appreciate it.”
“Not a problem. I love hanging out with Ember as long as I’m not the one who has to get up with her at three a.m.”
Marin huffed. “Isn’t that the truth? Those middle of the night calls are rough, especially this time of year. It’s cold out there.”
Unbidden, Charlotte remembered that first night when Marin had come stumbling through the living room in her tiny sleep shorts. Charlotte had caught herself staring at Marin’s long, pale legs for reasons she hadn’t understood at the time. Oh.
Feeling flushed all over again, Charlotte hurried toward the door.
She clipped on Ember’s leash and stepped outside, then set the puppy down in the snow.
Ember whined, probably disappointed to have been whisked outside right after her mom got home.
Charlotte might have lied about falling asleep on the couch, but she hadn’t lied about Ember needing to go out.
Sure enough, the puppy ran to her usual spot to take care of business. Meanwhile, Charlotte turned her face toward the late-afternoon sun, grateful for the cold breeze that slapped some sense into her, cooling off her malfunctioning hormones.
Not. Straight.
Was that possible? She was forty years old. She’d had queer friends her whole life. She’d even gone to gay bars with them. She’d been hit on by women, and she’d never felt anything. She’d only ever been attracted to men. So this was . . . surely it wasn’t what it felt like.
Because this wasn’t what Charlotte had come to Vermont for.
Marin was the one who’d come here looking to explore her sexuality.
Charlotte just wanted to reconnect with her dad and to find out once and for all what happened to her mom.
She wasn’t looking for a relationship right now, not with a man or anyone else, not after making such a mess of things with Darren.
Ember turned and ran back to the apartment door, eager to see Marin. Relatable. Charlotte checked her attitude, making sure she reentered the apartment ready to show the appropriate amount of enthusiasm as Marin told her about her date.
Pain radiated down Marin’s right leg, and her foot tingled with pins and needles.
She grimaced as she shuffled toward her bedroom after taking Ember out for her bedtime potty trip.
She’d had the best time on her date with Laura.
It had gone better than she’d even dared to hope.
They’d had fun. They’d had chemistry. The kiss—even though it was only on the cheek—still made Marin’s heart race every time she thought about it.
But now her right thigh was on fire. She bit back a whimper as a particularly vicious jolt shot down her leg.
She’d heard nerve pain described as feeling like an electric shock, and right now?
Yeah, that felt accurate. Briefly, she remembered the way Charlotte had cared for her the last time this happened.
She’d almost mentioned her discomfort tonight but hadn’t wanted Charlotte to feel obligated to care for her again, especially since things had felt strange between them a few times tonight.
Marin wasn’t sure if she was reading too much into it.
Certainly her emotions had been all over the place before and after her date.
Maybe she’d given off some weird energy that Charlotte was responding to, because Marin couldn’t figure out a logical explanation for why things had gotten weird.
Maybe she’d only imagined that it had been awkward.
With all her internal drama, it was hard to be sure.
Ember looked up at her and whined.
“You’re so intuitive, aren’t you?” Marin eased herself onto the edge of the bed. “I’m okay. The pain will pass. I’ll be fine in the morning.”
Ember whined again, then climbed onto the stool Marin had left by the bed for this exact purpose. From the stool, she hopped into bed with Marin. She pressed herself against Marin’s thigh, right where it hurt, in an unmistakable gesture of support.
Marin’s eyes filled with tears. How many nights had she lain awake beside Andrew, in agonizing pain but trying not to make noise so she didn’t disturb his sleep, wishing she had someone to hold her when she was hurting?
She could care for herself. She was doing it right now, after all. But to receive support from Charlotte and now Ember? It filled a void inside her she hadn’t realized existed. It felt so good to receive comfort from someone who genuinely cared about her.
“I love you,” she whispered to the puppy as tears slid over her cheeks. “I don’t know how you know I’m hurting, but you’re really helping me right now.”