Chapter 16
Brian
" E xcuse me," I called out.
I usually waited to be served, but I'd been standing at the bar waiting to order for going on three minutes. All the while, the bored-looking bartender casually leaned against the shelves of drinks, fiddling away on her phone.
She held up a hand as her thumb moved quickly over the keys before she shoved her cell in her back pocket. There was an audible sigh as she strolled toward me, clearly not caring about being tipped generously tonight.
"Yeah?" Her bored, kohl-lined eyes met mine before a flare of interest widened them. She flicked her gaze down my body before they rose again, turning hooded with unabashed interest. Her red-painted mouth curved into a sultry smile as she leaned forward with her hands spread on the bartop. Her tight black t-shirt highlighted her cleavage, which became more pronounced with her exaggerated movement. It was kind of hard not to look.
"Hi," she purred. "What can I get you?"
I gave her a practiced lazy smile, her earlier slackness forgotten. I was single, so why not? She was exactly my type—gorgeous, flirty, and obviously up for it. Why shouldn't I tease a little back?
"Two Guinness and three Miller's, please."
Her eyes stroked down my body again in a slow perusal. "Sure, thing, hon. Where are you seated? I'll bring it to you."
I indicated to the table where the guys were. Their faces wide with knowing smiles as they witnessed our exchange. Bunch of nosey idiots.
"Brian Chambers," she read after I handed her my card to start a tab. She flicked me a smile beneath false lashes. "I'll swing by with your order soon."
"Appreciate it," I winked before returning to our table.
Something was up with me. I recognized when a woman was into me, and the pretty blonde bartender was sending me signals in spades. Yet my energy wasn't as upbeat as it usually was after chatting to a pretty lady. I always got a buzz of adrenaline from drawing out the game of chase and play, knowing that the night may end with sweaty bodies intertwined in twisted sheets. I couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing.
I sat next to Harry and ignored the deliberate smirks they were all giving me. I could feel the table brimming with contained banter, and I suppressed a grin at how juvenile they were being. Grown men in their twenties and thirties, still elbowing each other when an attractive woman was nearby and paying them a bit of attention.
Finally, when the pregnant silence became too much, I sent them all my best glower.
"What?"
"C'mon, that bartender's hot, you lucky bastard," Kevin, one of my junior carpenters, burst out. He elbowed me, and my lip curled at my earlier prediction. "My older brother's friend had a thing with her a while back."
"You know her?" Now that I was giving her a second look, she did appear slightly familiar. Long blonde hair, blue eyes, pretty. I couldn't place her, though.
"Only by face. She's a few years older than me." He jostled me again with his elbow. "Perfect for you," he joked.
Yeah, she was. I didn't have a type, but blonde hair, sultry eyes, and a delectable body usually fit the bill.
Dark hair. Blue eyes. Long legs. Kind. Hard-working. Funny. Strong-willed.
I shook the invading thoughts out of my head and ran a frustrated hand through my hair.
Stop.
I needed to stop this.
Forget her.
I clashed eyes with the blonde bartender again; her gaze fixated on me as she pulled a beer. There was a swirl of attraction there. It was a familiar rhythm. A physical attraction that led to physical touch, maybe a revisit, before eventually fizzling out in a few months.
The same song and dance.
Nothing like –
No! You can't keep thinking about her. You're not ready for what she wants right now, remember?
Ignoring the bartender, I focused on the conversation around me, which, thankfully, had swiftly moved on from who would be my next bed partner.
I was finally taking my crew out to celebrate the end of a long yet financially rewarding project. I would've taken them out sooner, but I kept procrastinating because, frankly, I wasn't in the mood to socialize. I made up work and family commitments as an excuse, but I knew it wasn't fair on them to keep delaying. So after brooding at home for a few weeks, only leaving the house for work and dinner with Diane and Sarah, I shook myself off and set a table at a bar near to our latest project.
I didn't know what was wrong with me, but it was pretty pathetic to be mooning over someone I barely dated.
I hadn't spoken with Maria in weeks, but I’d seen her from afar. I’d been on Main Street picking up a coffee order when she walked out of her salon. Did I purposefully pick a coffee shop near her in hopes of spotting her? Perhaps.
After being deprived of her for weeks, my starved gaze drank her in. She’d been wearing another short skirt and a flirty, frilly top. Her hair was a little longer, and were those dark red streaks I spied interspersed amongst her natural hair color? She told me she often liked to mix various shades in her hair now and then to shake things up. I’d been looking forward to seeing a bit of pink or blue sparkling in her roots and imagined running my hands through her soft tresses. That was a pipe dream now.
She’d looked fantastic, and I was a glutton for punishment because I couldn't take my eyes off her; all the while, she was oblivious to my longing stare.
Maria was the first woman I started to develop feelings for since Hannah, so I knew that was why I felt so...bereft. I knew that. I just needed my body to catch up with my head. What I needed was to get back on that metaphorical saddle, and all will be right again.
A slim arm entered my vision, and my Guinness was placed in front of me. I glanced up at the bartender to murmur my thanks. Speaking of moving on...
The blonde beauty stood so close to me that I could see the specks in her blue eyes.
They were the wrong shade of blue.
"Here you go," she breathed. Her perfume tickled my nose, and I turned my head away.
She went around the table, placing drinks in front of people, uncaring which belonged where. Not that they minded. They all tipped their heads back and dolled out attention, no doubt wanting to shoot their shot if I wasn't game. She simpered and giggled, flicking her hair back and reaching down to smack a shoulder in jest. Yet her eyes continued to shoot me brazen glances, biting her bottom lip as her heated gaze stroked me. Keeping my expression neutral, I took a deep gulp of my Guinness as I held eye contact. I played it cool, but that didn't mean I wasn't debating taking her home.
"Can I get you gentlemen anything else?" She spoke to the table, but her eyes were fixed on me. I knew that "anything else" meant either a basket of fries or a quick fuck in the bathroom.
There were a few stilted coughs around the table, and my ankle was kicked. Idiots.
"We're okay for now. Thank you." I tipped my glass at her.
Her mouth turned down in a quick pout before she tucked her tray under her arm and flounced away. Her ass swayed in that practiced feminine calling card, knowing she had an enraptured audience.
"Lucky bastard." Harry shook his head as he drank his beer. He'd met a couple of my past casual bed partners and seen me leave with pretty women a time or two. There was no doubt in Harry's mind that the same scenario would play out tonight. A hot bartender who was giving me all the come hither moves? It was a given.
So why did my gut curdle at the thought?
"Hey," James, one of my senior builders, waved his phone at me. "My cousin works 'round the corner, and I invited him for drinks. Is that cool? He has to head out to dinner later, so he won't stay long."
I shrugged. "Sure. What does he do?"
"He's a lawyer. He's kinda douchy but harmless."
"Oh, well, by all means, invite him," I sarcastically grumbled into my glass.
James laughed and shook his head. "You've been a moody bastard lately. You need to get laid." His head jerked toward the bar where the solution to my supposed issue lay.
I made a noncommittal noise as I sipped at my drink. He wasn't wrong. I was moody. But I knew that fucking another woman wasn't the solution. I took a slow sip of my drink, the stout no longer tasted as refreshing.
How could I miss someone I'd never had?
But you did have her.
For a brief moment, Maria was mine.
Not for the first time, I thought of the last words she'd said to me. I rolled them around in my head, conjuring up different scenarios of how I should've reacted and what I should've said.
I wanted to have sex with Maria; of course I did. But the act itself wasn't at the forefront of my mind when we were together. Spending time with Maria, chatting with her, and getting to know her personality, quirks, and mannerisms—those were the things I looked forward to the most. Sex was a by-product of what I assumed our dates would eventually lead to; what we were building up for.
It was all pointless now because I fucked it all up. Even if I suddenly felt ready to date seriously, it wouldn't matter. Maria would never give me the time of day now.
I glanced up at the bartender, my eyes roaming her delectable form, her pronounced cleavage, and tight jeans.
I felt nothing.
Yes, she was very attractive. Gorgeous, even. But her hair color was all wrong. Even her blue eyes seemed dull compared to Maria's. They weren't as vivid. As bright. They didn't sear my fucking soul.
Stop.
Maria made her feelings about what she wanted perfectly clear. The fact that she wouldn't get physical with someone until they were on the same page as her told me how serious she was. I couldn't begrudge her for that. I admired her for knowing what she wanted, what she deserved. Maria deserved the best: someone to put her first and meet all her needs. I would be happy for her when she found that. Because there was no doubt in my mind that she'd find someone who would bend over backward to provide what she wanted.
I pictured some fucker holding her hand, cuddling and kissing her. Getting to sleep next to her each night. My hand tightened on the glass I was holding.
James stood and lifted his hand at someone. "My cousin's here," he announced.
A man in an expensive-looking suit with slicked-back blonde hair approached the table. He smiled widely at James, his teeth flashing straight and blindingly white. "Hey, cuz." They greeted each other with a back slap before James went around the table, introducing us all.
"And that's Brian, the boss man. Guys, this is my cousin, Logan."
Logan nodded at us, again flashing his brilliant white smile before he took a seat opposite me.
"So," he shook out his wrist, showcasing an expensive-looking watch. "What are we all drinking?"
"Beers. I have a tab running. You're welcome to have a drink on me," I invited.
"Oh, thanks, man. But I already ordered a whiskey from that hottie up the front." He wiggled his brow.
"Brian has dibs on her," Harry called out. They all cackled around the table when I reached up to lightly slap his head.
"I don't have dibs on any woman who doesn't want it."
"Well, that's good 'cos she clearly does."
More hoots and hollers went around the table, and I held back an eye roll. "Guys, be respectful."
Sometimes, it was exhausting being the oldest in the group. I was also their employer, so I felt doubly responsible for setting a better example. That included not acting like oversexed frat boys.
As if sensing she was the topic of conversation, the blonde materialized to place Logan's drink down. "Here you go." She lingered beside him, her hand clasped on his chair.
Logan tipped his drink to her. "Thanks, doll. Why don't you treat yourself to a drink on me."
She flushed in pleasure, her hand grazing his shoulder. "Thank you," she cooed.
Hmm, I guess her attention was now being turned toward our newcomer. With his pretty boy looks and flashy suit, he seemed like the more suitable choice over someone like me, sitting here in worn jeans and an old t-shirt. It looked like my next potential bedmate was off the table.
I couldn't muster up the energy to care.
Just before she sashayed away again, she turned back to me and snaked her eyes down my front in another appreciative snare. "Anything else I can get you?"
I glanced around the table at everyone's half-drunk drinks. "Another round, please."
"Of course. Anything else?"
I guess I was back in the running. Although I was starting to feel uncomfortable at her obvious persistence.
But this is the kind of woman you want right now, remember?
"Two baskets of fries for the table, please."
"Of course. Anything you'd like," she breathed.
"Jeez, if you don't want that, I'll take her," Logan offered. He turned to watch her wriggle away.
"Pretty sure she has a say in that," Harry chimed in.
"Yeah, yeah, if she says yes or whatever," Logan dismissed. He took a small sip of his whiskey. "So, James says you guys are having celebratory drinks. What are we all celebrating?"
"The end of a big project. Two office blocks out in the Yannis Center. We finished a while back, but I haven't gotten round to taking these losers out."
They all chuckled and raised their glasses to me. They were good boys: hard workers and eager learners. I wouldn't be half as successful as I was today if I hadn't found such a good bunch of loyal guys. We all got along well. No egos or time wasters. One good thing about staying in the area was that small towns tended to produce reliable, salt-of-the-earth, honest, hard-working folks.
"Well, good on you all." Logan raised his drink at us and took another sip. "I couldn't do what you all do. Manual labor." He shuddered as if we told him we cleaned shit with our hands for a living.
"Yeah, you'd have to give up your weekly manicure," James laughed.
Logan smirked and held up his, apparently, manicured hands. "Sorry, no offense," he started in that way where we all knew he definitely was about to offend. "I'm not the creative sort, and I hate being outdoors. I was also top of my class, you see, so it would be a crime to waste away years of higher education when I know I could use my book smarts for the greater good."
There was an awkward lull as we all glanced at each other incredulously. James shot me an apologetic grimace as if to say: "Sorry, I told you he was a douche."
Luckily for Logan, I spoke full asshole.
"Huh. Funny." I pretended to be interested in the foam caked to my glass.
"I went to college for Business Economics, you see, but I hate being stuck indoors. I've always been good with my hands and knew I always wanted to own my own business, so after working on a few major developments in New York and being a foreman on a few, I moved out here and started my own company."
I fixed him with an icy stare that had him reddening. "And I hired a great fucking crew."
I pointed at James, who had a shit-eating grin on his face. "Your cousin being one of them. Do you know he's one of a few on my team who can read a blueprint like it was a kid's book? There's no doubt in my mind that he'll be running shit in a few years."
I downed my Guinness as Logan stared open-mouthed at me. I regarded him with a sardonic smile. "James tells me you're a lawyer. Are you a partner?"
His mouth snapped shut, and he adjusted his tie as the red on his face deepened. "Uh, no. Not ...yet. Working on it."
He cleared his throat and downed the contents of his drink as the rest of the table covered their snickers behind their beer glasses.
"Here you guys go." More drinks were placed on our table, breaking up the heavy tension. Oblivious to the earlier hostility, the attentive bartender busied herself by going around the table collecting used glasses.
"Thank you."
Her eyes crinkled as she winked at me. "I'll be back with your fries."
"Ah!" Harry clicked his fingers at me. "I know why you're not interested in her. You're still seeing your mystery phone girl," he proudly announced.
I almost choked on my drink. "What?" I sputtered.
"Remember when I caught you sexting on your phone in your office?"
I was going to wipe that smug smile off his face.
"I was not sexting," I gritted out. "And you're wrong. I wasn't chatting to anyone special." The lie felt like lead in my mouth.
"Then what are you waiting for? She's gagging for it."
"Not sure if I'm in the mood." Just fucking drop it, I wanted to say.
"Then at least grab her number for later."
I took a deep breath to stop myself from lashing out. If I wanted to grab her number, then I would have. If I wanted to crook my finger at her and have her blow me under this table, then I would have. I just wasn't in the fucking mood. Hadn't been in fucking weeks.
"Jesus, if you're not gonna, then I will." Logan sat up and straightened his tie, his early fau pas forgotten. "It's been a while for me."
"What about that hot brunette you were hooking up with?" James quizzed.
"Maria?" He scrunched his face. "Meh. I cut that bitch loose a couple of months ago."
James replied back, but I stopped listening. My stomach felt like it was on a prolonged drop. Did he just say...? He couldn't have said...? He couldn't be talking about my Maria?
"Maria?" my throat rasped.
Logan tilted his head at me. "Yeah, you know her?"
My throat was closed off, so I made an ambiguous head movement.
James shook his head as he shoved his cousin playfully. "You should see her, Brian. Dark hair, blue eyes. Body like a goddess. She's a total smokeshow."
"And totally crazy," Logan scoffed. "But all the hot ones are. Part of the trade-off."
"Trade-off?" Harry asked.
Logan grinned, and I wanted to punch that stupid toothy smile off his face. "Yeah, the hotter they are and the wilder in bed—the crazier they are." He imparted this like he was a fucking guru spelling out the hidden mysteries of women.
But was this about my woman? I couldn't fathom he was talking about Maria. But how many dark-haired, blue-eyed women named Maria lived around here? I had to know if it was her.
"What does she do?" I held my breath.
Logan peered at me curiously. I kept my expression bland, not wanting to give anything away.
"She works at a hairdresser. Probably sweeping floors or some shit," he laughed.
I immediately picked my drink up and took a long swallow. The cold did nothing to soothe the raging furnace in my body.
"What was crazy about her?" James continued. "I reckon I could look past all that for a piece of her." I glared at him. If I weren't so sure it was illegal, I would fire him on the spot for being an ass.
Logan shrugged as he picked up his new glass. "She was all clingy and constantly blowing up my phone. I ended up ghosting and blocking her in the end. A shame, really. She was a good lay. Up for anything, if you know what I mean." He wiggled his brows.
My hand tightened on my glass as a red haze continued to burn down. The thought of Maria naked with this fucking douchebag had me wanting to flip a table. This douche got to see her naked? Got to kiss her intimately? This fucking cretin got to know what it felt like to be inside her? The thought fucking wrecked me. But then my anger shifted as a realization occurred.
Maria fucking played me.
"Was she your girlfriend or just a fuck buddy?" I wanted to cringe at my coarseness, but I pushed it aside when I thought of how torn up I'd been over my treatment of Maria.
"Girlfriend? Fuck, no. She was a one-night stand that lasted way too long."
"Hey, c'mon," James inputted, clearly uncomfortable. "She was a nice girl the few times I met her."
"You didn't know the real her." He whistled as he twirled his forefinger around his temple.
The conversation swiftly moved on from there, but I stayed seething. Evidently, I didn't know the real Maria either.
It was only a few weeks ago Maria told me she was celibate, that she only planned on sleeping with someone if it was serious. She was so sincere, too. Yet it was only a few months ago that she clearly had no problem being fucking wild in bed for a dick head like Logan. A one-night stand, he’d said.
And here I was, feeling like a fucking tool for offering something that I thought was beneath her. She made me feel like shit for something she gave away for free. To fucking Logan , of all people.
What game had she been playing? Why had she lied to me? Did she expect me to be so dazzled by her beauty that I'd cave and offer her exclusivity for the pleasure of her body?
I thought of Logan's words regarding her craziness. Admittedly, I didn't garner any clinginess from her. I remembered wanting her to be more clingy. Was that a tactic she used? Playing hard to get, so I'd take any crumb from her?
I clearly dodged a bullet and was glad I didn't stick around to find out. To think I was feeling like shit over losing her when she’d probably already moved on to her next target. I thought of the provocative clothes she'd been wearing lately, and my thoughts darkened.
My eye caught the bartender's sultry gaze again, and this time, I returned her teasing smile.
I decided not to waste another moment thinking about Maria