Chapter 37
Maria
" A nd what about the way she did those choppy, long bangs? I can't wait to try them out."
"I've been wanting to have bangs for ages. Do you think I'd suit them?"
My mouth curved as Charli tilted Gail's chin up, tilting her face this way and that with a concentrated brow. They didn't care that the crowd behind them had to part like the Red Sea around them, so I wrapped an arm around their shoulders.
"Yes, you would both suit bangs," I told them. "I'm happy to do them for you." I guided them a few feet away so we weren't in anyone's path.
We'd just left the seminar, and Gail and Charli had not shut up since we'd risen from our seats. They weren't the only ones, though. We were part of a crowd of men and women flooding out of the venue, their enthused voices gushing at a high cadence about what they had learned over the last ninety minutes.
I tried to attend as many seminars as possible, but with the strain of running a salon, I couldn't always make them in person. When they started selling online links to watch later, it was a no-brainer to utilize that option instead. Nothing was better than sitting in my PJs with green gunk on my face as I watched an immaculately dressed man demonstrate how to do a wolf cut.
But being here today reminded me of how exhilarating a live talk and demonstration could be. Being able to scan the eager faces of people just starting out in the industry or seasoned professionals who wanted to keep up with the current trends. Today's seminar hadn't taught me anything new, but I still loved seeing Charli and Gail soak everything up, their pens flying across their notepads as they took notes. Seeing the passion and enthusiasm helped keep mine alive, too.
"Shall we get some lunch?" Charli asked as she continued to brush out Gail's hair.
"You guys go ahead," I insisted. "I've got dinner with an old friend tonight, so I'm going back to the hotel to rest."
We said our farewells and promised to meet for breakfast the following morning. It was a two-day seminar, but I wouldn't be attending tomorrow with the girls. Instead, I decided to take a day for myself. Maybe I'd take a long afternoon nap or explore new parts of New York I hadn't discovered yet. We were then going to meet up for dinner before we drove back to New Haven in the morning. It was my perfect vacation. A little bit of work and some downtime just on my own.
As soon as Gail and Charli turned a corner, I strolled across the street, heading opposite our hotel. I didn't say I was going back to the hotel now to rest. I was familiar enough with the city, so I walked a short block over, ending up in Bryant Park.
Unsurprising, the square was packed with locals and tourists. There were people doing yoga, having picnics, or enjoying the sidewalk cafes. I loved the hustle and bustle of the city. The noise, the traffic, the different scents of international foods lined up side by side. The blend of different cultures and languages.
I liked my hometown well enough, despite not having the best memories, but I always thought I belonged in a bigger city. Dr. Anna mentioned that perhaps I found the constant presence and noise of people comforting after being alone for most of my life. I wasn't sure about that, but it tracked with my need to feel wanted and loved.
I was in a much better place now, emotionally and physically. I had friends I'd come to trust and was learning to feel comfortable confiding in them. I had a business that was more successful than it had ever been.
And Brian.
I had Brian.
Being in New York reminded me of him. This was where he was born and raised. I imagined him weaving through the crowds of people, his gait cocky and sure; he knew where he was going and how to get there. I pictured him on the subway, drowning out the sound of buskers who hopped on and off the trains to make a quick buck. I wondered if he avoided Times Square and places like Bryant Park because they were too "touristy." I bet he knew all the local hot spots off the beaten track.
I lifted my face towards the sun, which warmed me despite the cold breeze tickling my nose. On a whim, I took out my phone and snapped a selfie before uploading it onto my personal social media page. I had already posted pictures of Charli, Gail, and me at the seminar on our business page. I also did a story throughout the morning of us walking to the seminar and excitedly smiling in our seats. It was nice to do something just for me on this trip.
My phone dinged and I checked my notifications.
brian.c.builds: Miss this view! Bryant Park ain't so bad, either ;)
Heat filled my veins, and my mouth curved in an impish grin. Oh, he was a smooth one. I considered liking his comment and sending him a DM, but my self-esteem was at an eleven today.
maria.smithMUA: Wish you were here.
I clicked "send" before I thought too much about it before pocketing my phone. I was usually confident when it came to flirting, but I'd never liked a guy quite as much as I liked Brian. He gave me butterflies as if I were sixteen; he made me blush with just a sweep of his eyes over me, but more importantly, he made me feel seen. He made me feel good about myself. He made me feel…loved.
He never pressured me to go any further than the heated kisses I allowed. Even though I could feel how much he really, really wanted to take it further. I couldn't believe how much I missed him already. I tried so hard not to fall for him so quickly, but wasn't that what I wanted? I wanted to fall in love and find my forever person, and now that the possibility was in front of me, I was holding onto those reins tightly. Scared to loosen. Maybe therapy was working too well that I had over-corrected and became cynical.
After walking around for a while, I finally returned to the hotel for a power nap before getting ready to meet Gena at a restaurant in Midtown. We greeted each other like old friends before she took me to an Italian pizzeria she favored. I was worried we'd have nothing to talk about outside our careers, but reconnecting with Gena again reminded me of what a bubbly, warm, and friendly person she was. She hadn't changed a bit, whereas I felt miles away from that girl who busted her ass to make it to class on time. I'd been competitive, selfish, and only out for myself.
Gena and I had been partnered together since our last names came alphabetically in the enrolment. I'd been standoffish at first before Gena's effervescent personality won me over.
We spent a long time just catching up and going over the timeline of our lives since we parted. She'd been married and divorced to a man and was now in a same-sex relationship, something I knew from stalking her profile. They lived Uptown and had two cats. I didn't have much in the way of personal life, but I did get a thrill when I could tell her I was seeing someone and that it was getting serious.
I quizzed her on the movie she’d worked on, and after a few wines, she divulged which actor had been a nightmare to work with and which one tried to sleep with half the crew. It was at the end of the night when we started chatting about the next step in our careers.
"You'd be great as an educator. I've watched all your videos, and you're just so natural and informative." Her gaze swept my body before she gave me a wink. "Doesn't hurt that you're gorgeous, too. I remember you telling me you wanted to work in film and TV one day."
I nodded slowly, tapping my finger on my wine glass. "That was a long time ago. Once I started my own business, that plan fell to the wayside." I wasn't sure about being an educator. It was fine doing short-form videos, but I couldn't see myself talking all day, every day, with people.
"Is that plan still a possibility?"
I shrugged, feeling self-conscious. "It could be, yes," I admitted.
My dreams had changed since I'd been that wide-eyed nineteen-year-old. Life plopped other plans onto my path, and I adapted. I had no regrets. How could I? It was a hard first two years starting a business, but once folks realized that you were fucking talented at doing a blowout or making Mrs. Fieldman rock candyfloss pink hair, they tended to forget that you were the girl from the wrong side of the tracks who had so many notches on their bedpost, it was practically a stump.
What had transpired over the last couple of months was a dream come true for my future and my girls. I was more inspired than ever in my career, something that had lost its spark the longer I sat behind a desk trawling through paperwork. It would be silly not to think more carefully about a dream that had taken flight in the mind of a girl who had yet to be disillusioned by the future.
After we left the restaurant, we hugged goodbye and promised to keep in touch. She pressed her business card into my hand and demanded that I use it when I was ready.
"Or just to catch up as old friends," she smiled, squeezing my arm.
I walked the few blocks back to the hotel; the cool night air helped to sober me up. When I got back to my room, I shed my top and skirt and started unpinning my hair. Because I took a shower before dinner, all I needed to do was wash my face.
I set my alarm for breakfast, almost wishing I hadn't agreed to it. I could use a nice lie-in. I drove the girls down last night, and we may have had a few drinks in the hotel lounge before we crawled into bed. Today's seminar had been at 10 AM, but I'd been up with the birds for no other reason than my stupid body clock. I was thankful I decided to have a me day tomorrow. A nap was definitely needed.
A thrill traveled down my spine when I spotted a text from Brian. He’d sent it while I was walking back from dinner. I smiled as I read his words.
Brian: Off to bed. Miss you x
Miss you.
So simple, yet the meaning behind those two words meant the world to me. It reassured me that I was on his mind; he was thinking of me from sun up to sun down. I was no better. I reciprocated his texts, shedding my habit of playing hard to get.
I was twenty-eight; practically almost thirty. Too old to play games, and the whole point of setting clear boundaries and expectations with Brian was that we could blossom as a couple together.
I sat on my bed and stared at his words. I tried and failed not to think of Brian lying in his. Did he sleep naked? Or in those snug boxer briefs that hugged a man's ass? Did he sleep on his back or front? Visions of his arm strewn across his eyes as he slumbered came to mind; the sheet bunched around his waist, one leg bent and the other sticking out.
A wetness started to pool in my panties, and my nipples began that familiar tingle. I had an array of toys that I used to get off—a clit stimulator, a g-spot and clitoral stimulator, a couple of vibrators, and an anal plug. I also had toys that I used on guys, such as a cock ring, prostate massager and strap-on. I'd only used the latter once.
I didn't usually take toys with me on trips, but with me embracing the celibate life whilst dating a man I wanted to lick chocolate sauce off of, it was expected that I'd be feeling extra horny lately.
Luckily, I had packed my trusty clitoral stimulator, and it was going to get its money's worth now.
I shed my panties and unclipped my bra, moaning when I felt the coolness of the air conditioner blow softly against my stiff nipples. They felt heavy and aroused…in need of more than just my hand. Still, I laid back and massaged my tits, closing my eyes and breathing deeply. I rubbed my nipples between my fingers, pinching them hard before soothing the pain. Over and over, I rubbed my breasts, pulling at my nipples roughly, before rubbing the ache away.
My tits were big enough that I could just about reach down to lick at them. It was something I used to do all the time with the men I bedded. Their pricks would spurt early whenever their horny eyes watched my tongue swirl around a turgid tip before suctioning at it with my lips.
The act was more for me than them. They got off quicker, while I enjoyed stimulating my own body. Tasting and touching myself was usually the only way I could fully orgasm.
My mind conjured up an image of Brian, and I bit my lip as I pictured his handsome face over me. Given the passion that went into our kisses, I had no doubt he would have no trouble making me come. I grabbed my clitoral stimulator and turned it on, feeling it vibrate gently under my hand. I pressed the dial twice until I felt it buzz stronger and faster. I opened my thighs wide and pressed the open mouth of my toy against my clit.
I moaned loudly as I felt that low ache in my belly start to spread down to my groin. I pressed the toy harder against my sensitive nub before rubbing at my tits again. My legs fell further apart as I massaged the mouth against that sensitive nerve ending. I wanted the pleasure to last forever, but at the same time, I wanted that clitoral release that had me gasping and moaning like a porn star on a nine-inch cock.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," I panted, my hips rising from the bed as I felt that pinnacle of release climbing. I squeezed my eyes shut as quick breaths left my mouth.
"Yes!" I gasped as the nerves around my clit exploded. I bit my lip and threw my head back, moaning through my release. I continued to rub the mouth all around my slippery sex, drawing out the ecstasy as long as possible.
Finally, my bowed body came down until my ass hit the sheets, cooling my hot skin. Fuck, that was good.
Spent, I promptly fell asleep. Naked, horny, and dreaming of Brian.