Chapter 39
Maria
W e didn't have set plans for dinner. As the group's unofficial leader, I planned on walking down the block and stumbling into whatever restaurant looked good and allowed walk-ins. Brian vetoed that plan and took us to a little hole-in-the-wall in Koreatown, where we dined on delicious Korean Beef Bulgogi, dumplings, and spicy kimchi stew.
Any qualms the girls might have had about Brian and me dating again seemed to dissipate over dinner. My guy was charming, funny, and attentive. He kept us entertained with tales of his unruly youth—well, as unruly as a boy who grew up in an affluent suburb with parents who enforced a curfew.
He took an interest in their lives; who they were dating, where they went last night—apparently, Charli had enjoyed a make-out session with a suit from Wall Street. He asked about the seminar and didn't even look bored when Gail started discussing the latest hairstyle trends in men's cuts. They'd even procured a promise that he'd be their model for a cut they really wanted to try.
I barely said a word during dinner. Instead, my gaze continuously fell on Brian. I was mesmerized by the way he held his chopsticks and the bob of his stubble-lined neck as he drank his beer, the way his firm, full mouth moved as he talked, and the deep timbre of his voice as he laughed with the girls.
He was just so virile. So sexy and manly. My foot brushed his leg—at first, it was unintentional—but I decided I liked the feel of his jean-covered leg against my foot so much that I caressed his leg again. This time, there was no mistaking my intention. His shoulders straightened, and his jaw clenched. I toed off my heel before sliding my naked foot under the hem of his pant leg and stroked his bare flesh.
He almost jumped a foot out of his chair before covering up his blunder with a cough. I hid a smile behind my wine glass as he swallowed hard. With my chin in hand, I leaned forward, elbow on the table.
"You were saying about your new work project?" I batted my lashes at him as he looked at me with eyes that blazed with a restrained desire.
He cleared his throat again but didn't remove his leg from my touch. "Yeah, um, the old mill down at Rangers Clearing." He stammered through his story, his voice raising an octave whenever he felt my toe rub his hair-roughened skin.
By the end of dinner, Brian had downed more water than someone trekking through the desert. His fingers drummed a fast beat on the table, and a flush had taken up residence on his cheeks.
"We're going to walk across the Brooklyn Bridge before it gets too late," Charli said as she put on her coat. "Do you want to join us?"
I fixed Brian with a sly look, tilting my head. "What do you think, Brian? Shall we join?"
His eyes flashed at my silky tone. "We're okay, thanks. I might head back to the hotel to sleep." He flicked a brow at me. "What about you, Maria? Did you want to go or share a cab back to the hotel?"
I removed my foot as I swirled the remains of my wine around the glass. "Hmm…I do love the bridge at night." My mouth pinched to hold off a grin when I felt his leg bump my foot with purpose. There was a playful, threatening glint in his eye.
I smirked, holding his gaze. "On the other hand, I am quite tired from walking the city today. You guys have fun, and I'll see you in the morning." I spoke to them, yet my stare never left Brian's relieved face.
"Okay, no problem," Charlie said. "I'll let you guys get on with your night of fucking."
Gail gasped before bursting into laughter. She dragged Charli away, and the two stumbled out, their giggles following them into the cold night air.
Brian's mouth quirked as I chuckled. We hadn't been subtle with our eye fucking all night, and I had no doubt they knew what we were doing under the table. I didn't care, though. All I cared about was getting out of here as quickly as possible.
When we piled into the elevator of our hotel after a sexually charged cab ride home, Brian turned to me. "I'm staying on the fourth floor –"
"And you'll be staying on the third with me," I firmly retorted.
His mouth dropped open at my candor before snapping shut. "Fuck yeah," he growled.
As soon as the door clicked shut, Brian grabbed me, slamming me against the door and kissing me hard. My hands snaked around his waist as I kissed him back just as furiously. My knee lifted up to wrap a leg around his waist, and I moaned when I felt his big hands cup my ass.
He lifted me, and I wrapped my other leg around his waist, holding on as he gripped me against the door. Our tongues tangled together, and our breaths mingled as we ate at each other.
My panties were soaked, my wetness most likely staining his shirt with how snug my cunt was against his lower body. My heart was beating fast as he sucked my tongue. Jolts of pleasure continued to zap down my body.
It was a lot. But it also wasn't enough.
I pushed at his chest, and he immediately released me. My legs fell from his waist, and I pressed a kiss against the rough column of his throat.
'Fuck, baby. You're incredible," he groaned.
My teeth scraped his neck before I grabbed his hand and tugged. "C'mon," I demanded. "Bed. Now."
"Yes, Ma'am," he drawled, eliciting a giggle from me.
I intended to take charge. I wanted to shove him back on the bed, climb up his body and rub my pussy against his abs. I wanted to slide my wetness up his chest until my dripping cunt settled over his mouth.
But Brian had other plans. With gentle yet firm hands, he guided me to sit on the bed. His eyes blazed with lust as he stared down at me, his gaze intense and focused.
"Brian," I whimpered.
"Don't worry, baby. I'm gonna fuck that tight pussy so good the whole floor will hear," he promised.
I sucked in my breath at that visual. Yes.
"Let me just look at you first."
He brushed my hair out of my face, stroking my cheek. I closed my eyes as his fingers danced around my lips before his thumb pulled my bottom lip down and pushed. I opened my eyes, their depths swirling as I parted my lips, allowing his digit to seek entry. I stroked his pad with my tongue before sucking the rest deeper into my mouth. His breathing became shallow as I bathed his finger with my saliva. I licked slowly at it before moving my head back and forth, allowing him a glimpse into an act I was more than willing to perform on a much larger body part.
His thumb slid out of my mouth, and he traced the wet finger down my lips and chin until he reached my neck. His hand spread as he cuffed my neck, his fingers pressing on either side gently. The pressure felt good and I covered his hand with mine, relying through a squeeze of my fingers my consent. I'd been choked during sex before, but the way Brian stared down at me as his fingers squeezed carefully and released had me leaking more wetness from my pussy. He looked utterly enthralled and obsessed. His hooded gaze roamed my features as if memorizing every detail.
I licked my lips, breathing hard. I pushed his palm deeper into my neck before releasing. "What are you waiting for?"
With a roughened growl, he leaned down and took my mouth in another hard kiss, his fingers continuing to cup me. He pressed against my chest, and I took my cue to lay back. His eyes held mine as he lowered himself to his knees in front of me. He lifted my legs and placed them on his broad shoulders, turning his head and placing soft kisses against my calves, caressing my outer thigh reverently.
I moaned loudly at the touch. We hadn't even gotten to the main event yet, and I'd already been treated more tenderly than I'd ever experienced.
"You. Are. So. Beautiful." He punctuated each word with a kiss against my skin. See? Mr Darcy, eat your heart out.
His mouth traveled up my inner thigh, and my legs instinctively tightened before I quickly released them. It was just my luck to experience some good sex, only to smother him.
"You can bury me in your cunt." He glanced up at me, a devilish light playing in his gaze. "You smell so good, I'd happily drown in you."
I rose up on my elbows. No one had ever told me I smelled good before. It was something you read in romance novels, but no one actually said it. But hearing those words from Brian made me wetter, more eager to wiggle my ass down and place my pussy on his mouth so he could experience for himself that I tasted just as good as I smelled.
He seemed to be just as impatient as he roughly grabbed my panties and yanked them down my legs, moving aside so he could slide them down my legs. They caught on one ankle, but Brian was in such a rush to get back to me that he didn't notice. He glanced up before licking his lips, a look of lascivious promise written on his face.
I moaned at the first touch of his lips against my sex. It was a light kiss against the small landing strip on my mound before I felt his tongue stroke my clit slowly yet firmly. I bit my lip, breathing hard as another moan of pleasure traveled up my throat. His fingers gripped my thighs tightly before he moved back slightly and spread my thighs wider. I felt the cool air float against my exposed flesh. My pussy and ass were wide open for him, and by the look on his face, the sight was like Nirvana to him.
He continued to stroke his tongue quicker against my clit as I cried out, holding one leg up under my knee. His other hand started to rub at my open hole, stroking the glistening flesh and coaxing more juices to seep out. All the while, his tongue continued to tease my distended nub.
"Oh, my god," I groaned as I watched him. "Yes!"
He leaned back, removing his mouth from my pussy. "Look at this pretty flesh," he growled. His hand continued to rub at my pussy before his other hand snaked up to rub at the entrance to my ass. My muscles clenched as I watched him, his eyes never leaving my cunt, his lips shining with my arousal.
My eyes rolled back as my head lolled. "Fuck, that feels so good," I encouraged as he continued to rub my two holes. "Right there." I rolled my hips. "Yes!"
His breath blew against my sex, and I shivered on a moan. He started to rub harder on my clit as my legs shook. "Oh, shit, shit, shit," I called out as my eyes continued to roll.
His finger then slid inside my vagina, pumping in slowly as he held my legs back while they thrashed in the air. His mouth replaced my fingers, covering my sex as he mouthed me from the top of my pussy down to my ass. Fuck, I loved a man who wasn't afraid to go there. He devoured my cunt, his tongue stopping to dip inside my vagina, lapping up the juices. His groan of pleasure vibrated through me, mixing in with my cries.
He leaned back, spread my pussy lips wide, and released a long string of saliva aimed right at my open hole. "Fuck, yeah," he groaned before burying his mouth and following his spit. The sounds of his wet slurping and my cries filled my head, making me delirious with wanton pleasure. He continued to spit on my cunt, and lick up my juices before he gave my pussy light taps. He followed the same pattern—spit, lick, tap—until I grabbed his head and ground his mouth against me. His teasing was driving me wild.
He reared back, and I shifted further up the bed. With eyes intent on me, he grabbed his shirt and yanked it off, tossing it aside. Next, his hands unbuckled his jeans before that, too, was shoved down his thighs. My mouth watered when I got my first look at his naked body. He was all broad shoulders, trim waist, and abs.
And his cock.
Fuck.
It was long and hard. The tip an angry blueish red, seeking release. He stroked his hard cock as he stared at me, his gaze an obsessive fiery glare. "That's the sweetest-tasting pussy I've ever had," he grunted, his hand moving roughly up his length. "My cock needs a taste now."
I spread my thighs wider. "Yessss…"
He went to come over me before he swore. He pulled back, and I heard him fiddling with his jeans. I heard a packet tear before he stood again, his cock now covered with a condom. I beckoned him with my finger.
His wolfish grin tugged at my heart as he came over me and I lifted my legs higher to accommodate his frame. He tipped his dick down to rub against my pussy. His length slid up and down my wet hole as my fingers went down to finger my clit. He tapped his dick against my cunt a few times before he finally sank his hard length inside of me.
My hands immediately flew behind me, grabbing the comforter and bunching it between my fingers.
"Fuck, your pussy feels so good," he groaned. He held himself still inside of me. I forced my eyes to stay open so I could watch him. The way he stared at me so tenderly and sensuously sprung tears to my eyes. I'd never been looked at so intensely during sex. It was heady. Emotional. Romantic.
But then, my eyes watered for an entirely different reason when he started to thrust his cock deeper into me. One leg was on the floor, his knee on the bed. My legs were spread so wide apart, but that's why I did yoga—so that one leg could be over his shoulder while he plowed into me.
And fuck could he fuck.
He grunted as he pounded his dick inside me. "You're taking my cock so well, baby," he praised, his eyes fixated on our joined flesh.
Little whimpers were coming out of me with each hard thrust. My body climbed up the bed with his movements, and he followed each slide. Both knees were now on the bed, and he pulled back, one hand holding one leg open as he watched his dick piston in and out of me as I held up my other leg, my knee practically by my head. His other hand came up to cover mine under my knee, his hand hard as he helped push my legs back, his hips never losing rhythm.
The burn in my legs and my pussy felt so good. I was getting close to that sweet release, and I didn't even need to rub my clit for it to happen. I tossed my head back, moaning loudly as stars exploded behind my closed lids.
"Yes! Yes, yes, yes. Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me!" Pleasure shot out of me as my orgasm shook my small frame. My eyes rolled, and spit drooled as I gave into the sweet release that enflamed me inside out.
"Fuck yeah!" he lauded before he bent over me and groaned. He thrust once. Twice. A third time. He threw his head back and moaned my name as his seed shot into the condom.
Our breaths were harsh. Rugged. My body was slick with sweat, and I realized I hadn't fully taken my dress off. Brian gently moved off me, rolling onto his stomach as his back rose and fell heavily. He reached down and rubbed my stomach, caressing me tenderly. His lips touched my shoulder, and I turned my head to stare at him. Our eyes connected, and an electricity of new wonder traveled between us.
Something had changed between us. Sex became an act that I used to keep men interested. Sometimes the sex was good. Sometimes the sex was great. Sometimes the sex was okay. But, more often than not, I had to lie there and stifle a yawn or hide a wince when they hadn't put in the prep work and just went in dry.
But I had never felt like this before—during and after sex. This closeness. It felt almost…spiritual.
Was this what it felt like to be in love?
"There's a name for it, apparently. It's called Widow's Fire. Well, in my case, Widower's Fire."
Brian and I were sitting on my bed in our hotel robes, sharing a chocolate cake. Having sex, especially amazing sex, really made you work up an appetite. I was definitely going to do a few turns on the Stair Climber when I got home, but it was worth it just to be sitting cross-legged, a flimsy cotton towel the only item of clothing covering our nakedness. Although I did leave the tie loose, so whenever his heated gaze dipped to my chest, I knew my tits had popped out.
"You have this urge for sex…not in a nymphomaniac way, but for most people who've lost partners, it's a way to connect with someone. A way to unload all the emotional turmoil you're experiencing after your spouse dies, by a physical touch."
After we’d collapsed into a sweat-soaked heap—our second round at fucking—I'd made an offhand joke about how experienced he was at fucking. I knew he'd been with Hannah since college and also knew, given his sexual relationship with Sofia and the fact that he went home with Lissa, that he'd had post-loss sex.
After we'd showered—when round three had occurred—we sat up against the headboard and chatted. That's when he confessed he'd slept with a woman a few months after Hannah died. And then kept sleeping with women throughout the years, never wanting to take it seriously or examine why he had a need to keep a sexual partner around.
"For me, it was about intimacy. I loved being married to Hannah." He flicked me an uneasy look, but I rubbed his arm, letting him know his words didn't hurt me. "I loved having an equal partner who loved me. When all that was taken from me, I felt…alone. I had Diane and Sarah, but I missed that intimacy and connection. Every time I had sexual encounters, a bit of that spark would come back before it inevitably faded. And then I felt lonely again, and the cycle continued."
I wiped my chocolatey hands on the napkin provided. I had no idea that Brian had been going through all of this. His reaction at Da Vinci's made sense. It didn't excuse what he did, of course, but I could understand his frame of mind at the time. His only saving grace was that he continued to seek me out—granted, I told him to kick rocks—but it gave me a sense of thrill that the spark he'd experienced with me lingered.
But would it last?
"I can understand that. I used men to compensate for the love that had been missing from my life. I couldn't find it at home, so I sought out men, thinking I could experience the kind of love I craved. Security. A partner."
Brian's hand reached across and rubbed my knee, which was peeking out between my robe. "You don't have to keep looking anymore, Maria, " his rough voice promised.
I glanced up at him. His eyes conveyed how serious he was as he continued to stroke me. "I'm all in with you."
I swallowed hard as I searched his face, seeking any morsel of deception in his gaze. When his soulful brown eyes remained sincere, my shoulders came down, and I covered his hand with mine.
"Me, too."