Chapter 17
Seventeen
LINC
“Well, that went well.”
Vic glares at me. “Is this fucking funny to you?”
I shrug. “What’s funny to me is that you’re so stubborn you can’t even see that we’ve been fighting for this pack, while you’ve been wallowing in self-pity.”
He rears back. Usually it’s Kai speaking the truth, and usually Kai is gentler, kinder. But that’s the approach we’ve been going with for too long. It’s time for some tough love.
“Self-pity?” He shakes his head. “Dios mío, cabrón. I left to give you guys a chance to keep your omega.”
This. Fucking. Idiot.
“First of all, don’t call me a cabrón, pendejo .” His eyes narrow, and I bet money he regrets teaching me Spanish. “Second of all, how many times do we have to tell you we don’t give a shit about Felicia? She’s not our family.”
Kai glances around, scowling at the patrons who are eyeing our table. “We’re making a scene.”
“Like I give a fuck,” Vic and I snap at the same time.
Chuckling, I give him a pointed look. “Even after all these years, we still do that.”
“After all these years, why are you still fighting for something you don’t need?”
I take a breath, preparing to lay into him, but Kai cuts in before I can.
“Vic, I say this with so much love. Pull your head out of your ass. We’ve always needed you. You’re pack. Our brother, and we’ve been miserable without you. Stop fucking self-sabotaging.”
“Can you seriously tell me you don’t blame me for Felicia leaving?”
“She was a cunt,” I say. The table next to us makes disgruntled noises, and I side-eye them. “Maybe don’t eavesdrop.” Their faces flame, but that’s their problem. I turn back to my family.
“I don’t blame you.” Kai confidently holds Vic’s gaze.
This isn’t the first time we’ve had this out with him, but this is the first time Vic hasn’t run away from the conversation. As he crosses his arms over his chest, I let out a heavy sigh. The fight isn’t over.
“I’m not losing her to you two.”
And there it is. Vic’s finally found something to fight for. I hate that it’s taken fate to get to him, but I can’t say I’m not relieved to see the determined glint in his eyes. That’s the Vic I know.
“We’re not trying to take her from you,” Kai murmurs.
“Uh, hello,” the waiter says nervously, setting our plates down. He shoots a questioning look at Daria’s vacated seat but smartly doesn’t say anything. The three of us seethe at one another while he finishes his job. As soon as he’s gone, I lean toward Vic.
“Kai and I already agreed that we do this together, as a pack, or not at all. But if you want her for yourself and really don’t want anything to do with us, walk away now.”
Kai kicks me under the table. I ignore him. He’s always so cognizant of people’s feelings, but what he doesn’t understand is that sometimes people need a shove to get moving.
“If you’re so sure you’re done with us, get up and walk away because I’m getting tired of begging you to see that we are, and always have been, family. Do I regret not telling Felicia to get lost the first time she hurt you? Fuck, yes. Can I go back and change that? No. All I can offer is to do better and hope you trust us.” I slap my hand to my chest. “Trust your fucking brothers.”
“So, you’d leave me too?” he asks.
That. That right fucking there. He isn’t done with us. He’s too proud to admit he was being stubborn.
“No. I’m giving you the choice to leave for good. We already told you, time and time again, that we don’t want the pack to break up. We left Felicia because you were more important than an omega who couldn’t accept our pack the way it was.”
“Linc—” Kai warns but doesn’t say anything else. He’s probably scared Vic will really leave.
Instead, Vic’s eyebrows move slightly, a subtle softening of his features. His eyes skip between me and Kai.
“What’s it going to be, Vic? Are you part of the pack or not?”
“Sí, somos familia,” he says, uncrossing his arms with a defeated sigh.
“You’re goddamn right,” I tell him with a smirk. “Now that that’s settled, how do we ask Daria for forgiveness?”
Kai and I both look to Vic for guidance, and there’s a subtle shift in his posture, as well as a certain air of smugness shimmering around him. I don’t even care. He knows her best. He needs to know we’re more than capable of deferring to him. That’s the only way this will work.
And if we’re lucky, Daria might forgive us for being asshats.
Streaks of red and black cut across the canvas. I sweep my paintbrush up, slashing sharp line after sharp line. I add touches of various colors to help balance the heaviness of the darker colors until the painting morphs from nonsensical color to something with feeling.
It’s shapeless, more abstract than I care for, but I didn’t have anything in mind when I locked myself in my studio. Stepping back, I study the work. It’s chaotic. An explosion of emotion.
I frown as the heavy bass of my favorite rock band reverberates around me.
The fight with Vic. The very real possibility of him leaving brought up some abandonment issues I’m usually capable of handling, but Vic is family. My other family—two rich parents who couldn’t be bothered to give a shit—left me alone all the time, and tonight, that old wound cracked open. As much as I knew he needed a push, and I was almost certain I was reading his body language right, when I gave him the option to walk away, part of me was worried he’d leave for good.
The door closes with an audible thud, and I glance back at Kai. He nods and walks over, stopping beside me to study the painting. Vic and Kai are the only people I’ve ever let come into my studio. They’re the only people I’ve felt comfortable enough with to share this vulnerable side.
“It’ll all work out,” Kai says, keeping his eyes on the canvas, almost like he can read the colors and know exactly what I’m feeling. “He’s not leaving.”
“We could always build a prison in the wine cellar,” I joke, hiding the pain. “He won’t be able to leave if he’s tied up.”
“Mmm. Too bad Vic hates shibari,” Kai muses.
A relieved breath whooshes out of me. He’s not going to push me to talk about it. Honestly, I’m not even sure what I’d say that I haven’t already said.
My parents never loved me, and all the years I’ve spent alone in a mansion full of things were the emptiest years of my life, and yet they’ve left me with the most baggage.
“Talk?”
Kai and his fucking perception.
“Not tonight,” I confess. He’s never been annoyed, no matter how many times my abandonment issues grab a hold of me. But that’s Kai, then, isn’t it? He might be the most understanding person I’ve ever met.
He lost his dad when he was a teenager and stepped in to help raise his younger sisters, alongside his mom. They turned out great. Wish I could say the same with Ryan. My greatest failing.
My son hates me as much as his mom does. As much as my parents do. Maybe it’s something in the bloodline. Or maybe it’s me.
“I’ll get the whiskey.” Kai squeezes my shoulder and leaves me to my darker thoughts.
In truth, I wasn’t alone in raising Ryan. Kai and Vic were as much his fathers as I am. Felicia, well, she was his mom. Our breakup hit Ryan hard, and he went with her when she left. I see him occasionally. Every interaction is laced with venom and anger. I understood the anger when he was a teenager.
His family was ripped apart.
But now that he’s pushing twenty-two, I expected him to understand the circumstances that led to the breakup. He doesn’t, though, and some of the things he says reminds me so much of the hate his mom used to spew that I can’t help wondering if she’s poisoning him against us.
At the end of the day, she’s his mom, and while I suspect he might’ve been told a drastically different story than the truth, I’ll never say a bad word against her to Ryan.
I’m forty-two, and all I have to show for myself is a room full of paintings. Sure, there’s the company, but that’s something we did as a pack. Me, though? I don’t know that I’ve ever done anything worthwhile.
My own son doesn’t want anything to do with me.
Maybe I’m more like my parents than I care to admit.
Dread slithers through me as I clean up.
I’m not like them, though, am I?
I played with Ryan. I read to him. I slept in his bed when there were storms and he was scared. I told him I loved him every time I felt like it. I made sure to give him hugs because I never got them. I wanted him to know how much I cared about him. Maybe I was too much? Maybe I overdid physical affection.
Get out of your head, Linc , I tell myself, knowing if I don’t, I’ll spiral even further and end up in a bad spot.
Grimacing, I leave the ventilation system on but turn the lights off and join Kai in the den. He’s sitting in one of the chairs, a tumbler filled with amber liquid in his hands. A drink waits for me on the table. I know better than to get drunk on a night like this. The wine from dinner has worked through my system, and I won’t be drinking more.
Dropping into the chair across from Kai, I arch an eyebrow. “You good?”
He takes a sip of his whiskey. It’s measured. Controlled. Kai never wavers. “Vic said something I’ve been thinking about.”
“I’m dying in anticipation,” I say with a smirk.
“‘Still making promises you can’t keep, Kai?’”
I avert my gaze. It’s no secret that Kai goes out of his way to comfort people, even if he makes pretty promises that may never come to fruition. “And how did you feel about that?”
“I guess I have to be careful with my words. Even though I said Vic would stay, maybe I was wrong,” he confesses. “I don’t know if Vic will stay. I don’t know if Daria will stick around, but I do know I’m going to fight for our pack.”
My eyes cut to his. “So am I.”
And right now, that’s the best we can do.