Chapter Four

Chapter

Four

“Blood alcohol was barely above zero,”

Constable Singh said. “I’m sorry, Mark, but he could have gotten

that way from eating his grandma’s rum balls. No evidence of DUI,

and no breach of his parole.”

“I saw him with a drink in his hand,” Mark

said stubbornly.

“Might have stayed in his hand and not gone

in his mouth. I don’t know. But we couldn’t hold him for

anything.”

“What about the riot? I read that in the

paper this morning.”

“He didn’t do anything to incite it. The

citizen videos make that clear. As far as I’ve seen so far, he was

the one to calm it down. I might have been able to lay charges

against his friend if the patrol officer hadn’t assaulted him, but

as it is, the department is facing an internal affairs

investigation into the officer’s behavior and is worried about a

possible lawsuit.”

Mark knew Singh from a variety of community

outreach programs. They weren’t friends, exactly, but they were

certainly allies. He didn’t want to push, but it was hard to let go

of his plan. It had all seemed so simple the night before. “What

are the other terms of his parole? Is he honestly allowed to just

continue with his life like nothing ever happened?”

“No, he’s not.” Singh gave Mark a doubtful

look. “Are you sure you want to get into all this? We have staff in

charge of monitoring him and ensuring compliance. But I heard the

tapes of what he was saying last night, and based on that I’d say

he’s absolutely aware of how delicate the situation is. If he

breaches parole, it’s not going to be subtle. It’ll be because he

loses control of himself and does something stupid, not because he

forgets to make it home before curfew.”

“He has a curfew, then? What time?”

“Nine o’clock.” The constable sighed as he

gave in. “And he has to be gainfully employed or engaged in

full-time school or training, has to live in an approved location,

has to abstain from drugs or alcohol, has to report twice a week

and may be subject to random drug testing. He can’t commit any

crimes, not even misdemeanors.” Singh stepped forward and rested

his hand on Mark’s shoulder. “We’re watching him. You don’t have

to.”

Mark forced himself to nod. “Okay. Yeah,

okay.” He smiled as if going back to casual chatter, then asked,

“So, he’s got a job already? In this economy, he’s lucky! Where’d

he find something?”

Singh looked like he saw right through Mark’s

charade, but said, “Gage Roofing. Same place he was working before.

He’s a friend of the family, or something.”

“Roofing,” Mark said. “That’s hard work.”

“Not the way he does it, apparently.” Singh

shrugged. “But if they’re willing to pay him, we don’t inquire too

closely.”

Seemed like they didn’t inquire too closely

into much, Mark thought as he walked out of the police station.

Seemed like they just wanted this whole thing to fade away, as if

everyone should just forget about it and move on. But it was kind

of hard to do that when Mark could still remember the feeling of

his mother’s frail shoulders shaking with sobs as she’d clung to

him the night before. When he could still see his father’s

hopeless, lost expression as he’d watched his wife of thirty-nine

years falling apart. Mark’s brother was dead, his family was

destroyed, and the man who had caused it all was drinking beer and

causing near-riots without any repercussions.

Mark didn’t look at his watch. He knew he was

running late, and didn’t need the graphic display to remind

himself. Instead of heading to the church, he steered his aged car

toward the edge of town, the new subdivision that was going up near

the highway. Some of the houses in there were almost done—they

might be at the roofing stage. If Cain wasn’t working out there,

Mark could just drive around for a while and see where roofing was

being done—it wasn’t that big of a town. Maybe the roofing company

did work out in the country or in neighboring towns, but maybe they

didn’t. If Cain was nearby, Mark would find him.

It didn’t prove to be too difficult. A quick

trip through the winding roads of the subdivision brought him to an

estate-sized lot with a half-finished house on it. There were men

crawling over the roof like purposeful crabs and Mark squinted at

them. It was hard to see faces and Mark wasn’t sure he wanted to,

anyway. He needed to know where the man was, maybe, but that didn’t

mean he wanted to see him living his life.

Something slid on the roof and for a quick,

exciting moment Mark thought one of the roofers was going to fall.

Maybe it would be Cain, toppling from the peak of a two-storey

home…but it didn’t happen. The wrapper from one of the bundles slid

a little more and then someone caught it and threw it over the edge

into a waiting garbage bin. Mark leaned back in his seat and forced

himself to close his eyes. He was a man of God, and he’d just been

excited about the possibility of seeing a fellow man die.

No. Not die, just get hurt. And excited

wasn’t the same as wanting it to happen. It had been a strange

reaction, but not sinister, surely.

He opened his eyes again and saw Cain. He was

off the roof, pulling bundles of shingles from the back of a

flatbed truck, and even from a distance Mark could see the way

sweat was sticking the man’s shirt to his body despite the cool

spring weather. What had happened to not working too hard? The

other men were working steadily, but Cain was clearly driving

himself harder than the rest.

Maybe it was a macho thing. He was trying to

get fit, or trying to prove what a tough guy he was. He wasn’t that

big—maybe five-ten, and built lean. Mark pushed the thought of

Jimmy’s six-three, heavyset frame out of his mind. He didn’t need

to think about that, didn’t need to wonder why his brother had been

fighting this kid in the first place. It didn’t matter how it had

started, it mattered how it had ended, with Lucas Cain picking up a

bottle and breaking his victim’s skull.

Across the street, Cain was walking back to

pull another bundle from the flatbed when one of his coworkers

stumbled, almost falling under the weight of his load. Cain was

quick, catching the shingles and steadying the other man, then

going on about his job without even a smile. He was cold. Uncaring,

not deigning to try to make friends with the others on the crew. It

was as if he were angry somehow. Did he think he’d been in jail too

long? Was the job not to his liking? Were the crew of the wrong

race, or displeasing to him in some other way?

Mark caught himself. He was being irrational.

He was giving in to anger and hatred rather than focusing on love.

Well, in this case, love was out of the question. God would have to

understand that. But He might not approve of the way Mark was

letting himself grow obsessed with all this. He was late for work,

and he wasn’t doing anything productive out here.

There was nothing productive to be done, of

course—not in this matter. Which meant Mark should chase it from

his mind. He put the car into gear and pulled away from the

construction site.

“Do you have a minute, Mark?” Father Terry

Groban was the rector of the church, Mark’s immediate superior, and

if he was asking for a minute, it wasn’t the sort of request that

could be refused.

“I’m just waiting for a parishioner. Well,

not actually a member of our congregation, but a boy I’ve been

counseling. He isn’t here yet, though.”

Terry came in and sat in one of the leather

armchairs that furnished Mark’s office. His smile was gentle behind

his neatly trimmed brown beard. “Another one questioning his

sexuality?”

“I guess I’m developing a bit of a

specialty,” Mark admitted. “I think I fill a unique niche.” He

tried not to sound bitter as he added, “It’s just as well, since so

many other parishioners want nothing to do with me.”

Terry didn’t rise to the bait. They’d had the

conversation before and probably would again in the future, but he

was clearly looking to discuss something else right then. “How’s

your family?”

“Fragile.” Mark wondered if there were words

he should add, but the description seemed sufficient, so he didn’t

augment it.

Terry nodded solemnly. “It was a terrible

thing. And difficult if they think justice hasn’t been done.” He

paused, then proceeded more carefully. “Your parents weren’t in

church on Sunday. I know they aren’t our most devout parishioners,

but they usually come to services. Then I went by the house on

Tuesday, but your father said your mother wasn’t feeling well and I

should come back another time. I’d like to offer my support, Mark,

but I’m not sure it’s welcome.”

“They need some time, I think. They’re…” How

to explain his parents? “When things get tough, they huddle up a

bit. You know, they pull back into themselves. Just family. But

I’ll try to get them out. Hopefully Sunday service, at least. And

I’m taking care of them.”

“All right, then.” Terry nodded as if the

issue was resolved to his satisfaction. “And I know it’s not a good

time, but I wanted you to know that the bishop is still considering

you for the Inclusion and Equity panel. I spoke to him last night,

and he’s hoping to have a decision made within the week. You know

you have my support, and now more than ever, I think you might

benefit from having something work-related to really focus on.”

“I appreciate your vote of confidence.”

Unless the rector was just trying to get rid of his awkwardly

honest gay priest. But Terry had been too good a friend for Mark to

be totally cynical about his motives. “And I’m still very

interested in the job. I think the church needs my voice. We talk

about the four-legged stool all the time, and I’m sure there are

people better able to discuss ‘scripture’ and ‘tradition’ than me,

but I think I could contribute on ‘reason’, and I absolutely think

I’d have something to say from ‘experience’.”

“You don’t need to give me your job interview

speech, Mark. I helped you write it.”

“Right. Sorry. I just feel very passionately

about this. The church needs to keep examining its policy on gay

issues, and it needs to consult gay church members and clergy, not

just academic theologians and politicians.”

“I understand. But your sexuality is only one

aspect of your life, and only one part of who you are as a servant

of God.” He peered at Mark as if trying to read his response, then

nodded slowly. “Pray on it. I’ll do the same. We’ll see what we

come up with.” He headed for the door, then stopped and turned

around. “And Mark, take care of yourself. If you need some time

off, let me know and we’ll arrange it. This is a difficult time for

your parents, but it’s hard for you as well. It’s a hazard of the

profession, I think, putting everyone else’s needs ahead of your

own, but you can’t minister to others if you aren’t strong

yourself. Okay?”

Mark nodded. “I’m fine,” he said, and tried

not to notice Terry’s look of concern. He was fine. There were

things to be dealt with, of course, but he had it under control. He

tried a reassuring smile, then stood himself. “I’d better go find

Alex. I don’t want him to think I’ve forgotten about him.”

“Take care of yourself,” Terry said

again.

“Absolutely. I will.” Not that he needed to.

He was going through a difficult time, but he could handle it. His

parents needed him, the confused gay teens needed him. Even the

older, straighter members of the congregation needed him, if they’d

only admit it. He would look after them—he could worry about

himself later.

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